Sunday, March 27, 2016

My Favourite Joke

The Annual Miracle Of Purim

(Actually, this has nothing to do with Purim. It is in fact my favorite joke, containing a willfully stupid grocier, a passive-aggressive waterfowl, and the tantalizing promise of nourishment.

(It's also a good general example of how The Universe treats us. It has a has a habit of returning, with the same questions, until we solve them -- and then hits us with a change-up at the end: Wow! Didn't see that coming!).

A LITTLE DUCK walks into a grocery store. He waddles up to the grocier and says, "Hey -- got any duck food?"

The grocier thinks. "Um, no," he says finally.

The Little Duck looks up at him. " 'kay," he says, and goes away.

The next day, the Little Duck was back. He waddles in, looks up at the grocier and says, "Hey -- got any duck food?"   The grocier looks down at him; is this duck nuts? He was just in here!

"No!" the grocier says.  " 'kay," says the Little Duck, and he goes away.

The next day, the Little Duck was back. He waddles in, looks up at the grocier and says, "Hey -- got any duck food?"   The grocier spins around, looks down at him and says, "NO! I told ya -- I gots NO DUCK FOOD ! You come back in here askin' about duck food again and I'm gonna nail your little webbed feet to the floor!"

" 'kay," says the Little Duck, and he goes away.

The next day -- the Little Duck was back. He waddles in, looks up at the grocier and says, "Hey -- got any nails?"   The grocier thinks. "Um, no," he says.

The Little Duck shakes a little. "Ooo!  Okay ! Got any duck food?"
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2 comments:

  1. this is a great joke

    it seems to have little or nothing to do with purim, apparently, but i was interested to read the article on purim in wikipedia

    purim was last week - the detail of the grocer's threat to nail the duck's feet to the floor sets up a resonance with yesterday's christian feast, easter

    the duck's request for food reminds me of jesus's stay in the desert

    And after He had fasted forty days and forty nights, He then became hungry. And the tempter came and said to Him, "If You are the Son of God, command that these stones become bread." But He answered and said, "It is written, 'MAN SHALL NOT LIVE ON BREAD ALONE, BUT ON EVERY WORD THAT PROCEEDS OUT OF THE MOUTH OF GOD.'" Matthew 4: 2-4

    and speaking of jewish-christian relationships, here's a joke i heard on the elementary school playground in mid-20th century suburban america - northern virginia, to be specific - "jesus saves - moses invests" - extending this a bit, if the grocer of the joke gave more attention to noticing business opportunities, including how he might profit from meeting the desires of his customers or potential customers he would be less likely to make angry yet empty threats

    speaking of elementary school playgrounds, an article asserting that finland has the best schools says:

    Unlike in the United States, where many schools are slashing recess, schoolchildren in Finland have a mandatory 15-minute outdoor free-play break every hour of every day. Fresh air, nature and regular physical activity breaks are considered engines of learning. According to one Finnish maxim, “There is no bad weather. Only inadequate clothing.”

    may the creative forces of the universe smile in our general direction

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. In fact, the grocier's responses fell way short of the mark. When asked the question by the Little Duck, his only proper reaction should have been, "Oh my God; you can TALK !!!??!!"

      At times, the most obvious things are overlooked because of a focus on the self, or what we think is really goin' on.

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Please feel free to thrill all humankind with the brilliance and importance of You. And forgo all civility (especially the passive-aggressive sort, aggression masquerading as mildness) . . . you are, after all, anonymous.

But, consider: Dogs have short attention spans, don't tolerate bullies, and we're notoriously thin-skinned -- so make sense, be brief, and play nice, or I'll bite you and pee on your leg. Bark Bark Bark Bark Bark Bark.