Tuesday, August 9, 2011

Grand TurtleBear Bachmann Graces Cover Of Newsweek; DJI Plummets Over 600 Points, $1 Trillion Lost

Love Jesus Or You Won't Know What Hit You

Bringing Love And Light. And Brotherhood. And Homophobia, And
An Abiding Hatred Of Science And The Wondrous Feeling You Get
From Condemning Others And Demanding They Believe As You Do,
Or Else (Photo: Newsweek ©, A Classy™ Publication)

There's not much to say about Little Michele Bachmann, Grand TurtleBear of the Church Of I Kill You, beyond the observation that every time she opens her mouth, she becomes classier and classier in every way; a true Poster Girl.

Ray Lizza, writing in The New Yorker, recently reported that the Grand TurtleBear likes to read, too -- and if you accept that what a person chooses to read reflects their interests, and assumptions about the world, this should be interesting to all of us.

(I came to Lizza's piece via an article in TPM by Benjy Sarlin, who quotes Lizza below.)
...Bachmann traces her conversion to evangelical Christianity to a series of films by theologian Frances Schaeffer entitled "How Should We Then Live?" condemning everything from the Italian Renaissance to modern day government conspiracies.

[Ray Lizza writes] The iconic image from the early episodes is Schaeffer standing on a raised platform next to Michelangelo's "David" and explaining why, for all its beauty, Renaissance art represented a dangerous turn away from a God-centered world and toward a blasphemous, human-centered world. But the film shifts in the second half.

In the sixth episode, a mysterious man in a fake mustache drives around in a white van and furtively pours chemicals into a city's water supply, while Schaeffer speculates about the possibility that the U.S. government is controlling its citizens by means of psychotropic drugs.


Bachmann also highlighted Schaeffer follower Nancy Pearce's recent book, "Total Truth: Liberating Christianity from Its Cultural Captivity," as a "wonderful" read. Per Lizza, the book urges readers to be skeptical of any non-Christian ideas, because even though they may be right some of the time "the overall systems of thought constructed by nonbelievers will be false" unless built on "Biblical truth."

I can't wait for the Grand TurtleBear to be appointed Queen of America; can you? We'd have the kind of fun few Western cultures [principally, in Europe and Russia] have experienced since the 1930's and 40's. Though Cambodia and Rwanda and the Sudan have come close.



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Please feel free to thrill all humankind with the brilliance and importance of You. And forgo all civility (especially the passive-aggressive sort, aggression masquerading as mildness) . . . you are, after all, anonymous.

But, consider: Dogs have short attention spans, don't tolerate bullies, and we're notoriously thin-skinned -- so make sense, be brief, and play nice, or I'll bite you and pee on your leg. Bark Bark Bark Bark Bark Bark.