Ruh-Roh

Who Cares 

 Oh Get Real: Na Gah Happn

Apparently, She, The Expected One, has a new teensy email problem. More information as events warrant,  but it's doubtful it will have any affect on the manufactured outcome of this Thing we're involved in (oh; choosing the Emptysuit.  Got it).

Ironically enough,  this new fresh crisis for Hill-o resulted from an investigation into the cybersexual escapades of Herr Wiener,  husband to Huma Abedin, one of Hill-o's top aides: apparently some emails from She related to the investigation into HC's private email server were found on Abedin's laptop. 

However, reality asserts itself. Let's face it; unless She has been forwarding copies of the Single Integrated Operational Defense Plan for North America to Kim Jong Fatboy, or the lurking ChiCom menace, the bad bad Iranians or even Sad Vlad, The Putin; or unless she's been moving tons of Blow and scores of underage Hoors around on military air transport, She has it in the bag.  She has for months.

Whew. For a moment there, I thought, you know, this was real news. But that would mean if there was any violation of law there would have to be, you know, real consequences.

(This would be a nice moment to put on the "Passerella Di Addio" by Nino Rota, the theme to Fellini's  8 1/2, a musical interpretation of humanity's ultimately absurd and overblown sense of itself.)

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MEHR MIT EINEM NEUES GEDENKEN: What if it's just a false-flag? A moment of panic for those who believe that Trump has any chance whatsoever.  A late change to the script.

This is Theater, folks. This is Caramel Popcorn level teevee. This is the change in the middle of the third reel, when the heroine is gravely threatened ("Like an 18-wheeler smacking into us!").  And, in keeping with the National Narrative, Little Hillary will push on bravely, fighting the Good Fight against the evil the evil the evil who have always had it in for herself and her Saintly Bill-o. 

And, She will triumph, going On To Greater Glory and to become Our Leader.  Her victory, just that much sweeter. And all America will go Yay! Party!  Roll credits. Buy a T-Shirt on the way out of the theater.

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MEHR, MIT DER POLIZEI: Hill-o has responded this new news by demanding that the FBI reveal all: "Come and get me, Coppers!!"  Apparently, DOJ officials warned FBI Director James Comey not to send a letter to Congress announcing news of the Abdein emails, and the Campaign of She has trumpeted that Comey, a conservative Republican, is attempting to influence the election by doing so.

Comey had apparently told Congress in July when delivering testimony that he would keep them informed of any new developments and so (at least according to the Politico reporter who just appeared on PBS' Weekend News Hour) was compelled to send the letter (earlier, I'd said he was not; silly Pooch, me). 

But if I could ask Comey a question, it would be: What is the point of this, Stupidhead?? Donald Trump is not going to win. He never was. The election is over, already.

Turn up the Nino Rota, please.

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Everybody All Around The World

Gotta Tell You What I Just Heard

Hillo Points At You. Trump Karaoke -- "New Ork, New Ork"

In my normal commute, padding home with a detour for Dog Training, I walked past a libation house with a big scree teevee tuned to CNN, the McNews of the airwaves. A blonde woman was interviewing a man; the big-font headline on screen bellowed, "TRUMP REDUCES CLINTON'S LEAD BY THREE POINTS".

I snorted. This election has been over for weeks, if not months. But it's important for this contest to fit neatly into Our National Mythos, to sell the idea that She is the underdog here, who had to fight fight fight. It's critical that this contest be seen as a cliffhanger -- so close, this race; you must be worried, be very worried -- will Little Hillary, our First Girl Prestidental, ever walk again? Will She and Bill-o know True Happy once more? Whom will we be at war with next?

Gosh; did I wonder. Where had this headline I saw on the street come from? And, would the fiction of The Close Race be shared, in echo-chamber fashion, by Our Glorious and Independent media? Here's a gander at today's early 'top news stories', the headlines, and the next-largest headline-font stories:

• Time-Warner's CNN:  "Tightening Race"  (Most wildlife gone by 2020?)

• Sumner Redstone's / National Amusements Corp.'s CBS: "Poll Finds Clinton's Lead Over Trump Is Dwindling"  (Kim Kardashian tick-tick-ticks off '60 Minutes' viewers)

• Walt Disney Co.'s ABC:  "Trump and Family Preview Path To Victory"  (First Lady Campaigns With Clinton For First Time)

• The Roberts Family Trust / Comcast's NBC:  "How Would A Contested Election Work? Five Things To Know"  (Hacked Memo Reinforces Worst Perception Of The Clintons)

• JeffBezos' WashPo: " 'War On Women' flares anew -- only this time it's inside the GOP"  (The next chapter of globalization is unfolding at this Chinese billionaire's factory in Ohio)

• Verizon-AOL's Huffington Post:  "Reid Warns: Constitutional Crisis"  (Conservatives Push To Block All Hillary Court Nominees... 'Let The Supreme Court Die Out, Literally'... Senate Down To The Wire)

• Paper Of Record: "Some Trump Voters Warn Of Revolution If Clintons Wins" (Seats Of Power: In official Washington, office space projects authority. Tag along as we go behind closed doors into inner sanctums...)

• Little Rupert, Jimmy The Fish and Lack Lan's Newsy-TruthiCorp / Fox News:  "Fox News Poll: Clinton Leads Trump By Three Points" (Major Backlash After Amy Schumer Did That Thing She Did -- Something All Humans Will Recoil From)

Oh -- so that's where the story originated. No surprise there. And what was it Amy did?

But, I have to agree -- Trump has managed to increase his popularity by three points, nationally...   Go have a look.  Wake me up when it's over.

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MEHR, Mit Geröll:  In answer to a question; yes, a "big scree tevee" may be an LCD monitor up to 42 inches, together with a large, sharply-angled slope of alpine gravel. They're very expensive, and generally only available in Switzerland, southwestern Austria, and the Himalayas.  The bar I went past with all that in the window must be doing really well.

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:

What Hat God Wrought

Or If Not A Hat, Then Shorts 

An Der Zweiten Tag vor Weinacht / Mein Frau Für Das Leben /
Hat Zu Mir Geben / Zwei Donald Trump
UND  EIN SCHWEIN INS FLEIDERMAUS KOSTUM
(Traditional / Mongo)

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MEHR, SO LANGSAM:  Current poll results --  GIANT METEOR: 13%; Trump: 12.7%;  She: 87.3%

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Down Town

When You're Alone And You Got No Place To Go

 The Weasel Who Lives On Trump's Head Is Restless.
Oh, And Bad Tie Choice. Loser Tie.

When you're finally alone in Downtown America, it's apparent that all sentient life hates Trump.  It's in the papers, on the Intertubes; it's what everyone is thinking when they aren't hating other people. Our Pestident in Washdeecee hates him in a way only the living embodiment of Woodrow Wilson can.

The Partei Republikanner, which gave him his own convention, hates him, too. The Weasel who lives on his head hates him, and it's beginning to show -- it's possible the Weasel has even bitten him once or twice in public.  Even the people who support him actually hate him for making them support him.  He is unfit to be Pepsodent, and by all accounts is unfit to be anything, except a Rubber Bear in the Museo Di Trumpo -- and no one is really sure about that.

Slight Adjustments To A Mr Fish Cartoon From 2012.  

The Repub party is the victim of its own Badness, but even if it refuses to die, it will lie down, and on top of its own Candydate. The Elephant hates him.

So... it will be a near-decade of America being led into a future where all its citizens are monetized, monitored, and shamed if they haven't purchased the latest shiny technology, and where the Old must not be seen or indulged. It is The Time Of She. But it cannot be yet -- or, can it?

We're not enamored of anti-climaxes here in Downtown America. Do we have to wait?  She must be crowned; we must see her Coronation Balls, and there must be The Historic Speech; school children will be allowed to take the day off in order to witness it. Whether by Trumpo or She, there's a so-called Democratic Republic to be dismantled, one way or another. Let's get it over with, huh?

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Better Than The Pokey-Go Stuff

The Epic Battle Continues

She, On The Hustings

After the less-than-Democratic convention (the structure of which was based on an extended Amway commercial), She has received the Expected Bounce -- yet, people still do not like her. Gosh.

Trumpwarbler. Doubling Down

Meanwhile, Trumpolina continues to inflame everything, and to preen in public. There are articles issuing from every online, print and teevee news organization about Trump's past, his messy present; his murky future. Even the current Pestident, champion of PTT, has stepped up and said in measured tones that Trump is a wart, a carbuncle, and unfit to be himself.

(That's all true, as far as it goes. But all kidding aside, sitting Presidents are the de facto head of their political party -- but in my long Dog's memory, I can't recall any Pres making the kind of flat declaration which Obama made yesterday.)

I understand that Trump is a buffoon and his chances of winning the general election are little better than 30 per cent -- but at this point, the number and the scope of the anti-Trump attacks seem a bit like beating up a loud, obnoxious drunk who has defecated on himself... just because they're loud, obnoxious, and have defecated on themselves. Even narcissistic billionaires, if they're beaten enough in public, can make their opponents appear the bullies.

But, as I keep barking, this Bozo is his own worst enemy and will not, cannot win the general election. And the campaign continues, because it must: ninety-plus days of Night, an amazing spectacle which we must endure (because America is the land of the strong), and which will have all the allure of drinking an entire bottle of Ipecac enrapture the nation.

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MEHR, MIT GRUNKA-LUNGAS:  ... and the official tracking now rates Il Duce's chances of winning at below ninteen per cent.

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Historic

Satiety

Go Ahead, Tubbo.

MVOHC:  Did you watch the Democratic convention?
DOG:  No.
MVOHC:  You watch the Republicans, but not your own party?
DOG:  I'm not a Democrat, ______. You know I'm not.
MVOHC:  But this is historic. A woman is being nominated for president!
DOG:  Uh-huh.
MVOHC:  You -- are just a hater.
DOG:  I watched it for five minutes, literally. I saw Al Franken burble about She enough to make me never want to watch him do anything again, ever. I'll watch Sarah Silverman because she's hot. Politically deluded in a profound way; but, hot.
MVOHC:  Je-sus. What do you want in this election? What?
DOG:  I want what everyone in America wants: Buy a five-pound bag of Oreos -- take it into a dark room; close the door, throw a blanket over me; assume the fetal position, and eat until I pass out.
MVOHC: I don't want that.
DOG: Oh, sure you do, one way or another. I'm just not willing to fool myself into believing that my desire for Stimulation and Satiety is really about some higher altruistic principle. I like my hypocrisy without a water-back, thanks.
MVOHC: Good luck with that.

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Coming Of The Inevitable One

Update The First

You know -- I don't understand these people who trash-talk about America! Who say, 'we're in decline!'  -- She

We inaugurate a new blog category: Coming Of The Inevitable One, wherein we follow the media's coverage of this political contest -- knowing in advance that it shall be presented as being close, so very close.  Closecloseclose.

We shall use Fivethirtyeight dotcom as The Source for polling analysis. Periodically we will remind all humankind that this election is close, so close.

Episode I: The narrative Begins; A nation, already divided by race and class and wealth, was threatened from within by Bad Forces from The Right; and how, at the last moment, America was saved... by a little girl from Park Ridge, Illinois.

But it is so close. It is; it is. Be worried -- be very worried. Because... it is so close.

The first few polls conducted after last week’s Republican convention suggested a small to medium convention bounce for Donald Trump, with Hillary Clinton holding on to narrow leads in several surveys. But a series of polls released Monday morning show bigger gains for Trump. In particular, Trump leads by 1 percentage point in a CBS News poll, by 5 percentage points in a CNN poll, and by 4 points in this week’s edition of the Morning Consult poll. He’s also extended his lead for 4 points in the USC Dornsife/Los Angeles Times tracking poll, although it has generally shown good results for Trump.

The election will take place next week. Okay, next month. All right, all right; November -- But this takes nothing away from the fact that we must be worried!

Yeah. So give -- give money, and blood and sweat and tears and time you will never get back, ever -- all that; all for She -- so that She might save America, and Continue The Gravy Train usher in a New Era of Fucking The Peasants sacrifice for the amusement of the distant rich betterment of all humankind.  We will be so grateful.  Here endeth the Lesson.

She Reaches Across The Aisle: Mit Ein Grosser Kriegskriminal

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