Wednesday, July 22, 2015

Wisdom Of The Ages

Better Off Dead
( Randy Newman / Bad Love Album [1999] ) and too bloody right

When you fall in love with someone
Who doesn't love you --
Someone who treats you so badly
It Rubberfies your head

Someone who doesn't want you
(But won't let you go)
Someone who thinks you're crazy
(Tells you so, over and over)
This happens to you
You'd be better off dead

You might be surprised to learn how often it can happen
The love affair
(Boy does it hurt)
You fall in love with someone for whom you really care
They treat you like
You was dirt
Make you feel all fat 'n fumbly
Make you feel kind of dirty; nerdy
Hey I'm talkin to you --
Didn't you hear what I said?

Better off dead
Than living with someone
Whose every word's like a knife that cuts through you
Better off dead
Than living with someone
Who just doesn't give a shit what happens to you

You know that it's wrong --
But you go on and on and on
Better off dead
Better off dead
Better off dead

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Please feel free to thrill all humankind with the brilliance and importance of You. And forgo all civility (especially the passive-aggressive sort, aggression masquerading as mildness) . . . you are, after all, anonymous.

But, consider: Dogs have short attention spans, don't tolerate bullies, and we're notoriously thin-skinned -- so make sense, be brief, and play nice, or I'll bite you and pee on your leg. Bark Bark Bark Bark Bark Bark.