Parasite And Host

Tea Partei and GOP: Government Shutdown Fun

(Based On The January, 1973 Cover Of National Lampoon)

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Welcome To Your Turn With Ed209

The world of the Intertubesverse is wondrous strange; and, in my treks out into the uncharted pixelated mindscape contained between http and .com /org/net/et. al, every once in a while I find something that makes me laugh. Like, a lot. Okay, uncontrollably, to the point where I have to ask others to intervene before I pass out from a lack of oxygen.

The last such find was Hyperbole And A Half -- Allie Brosh's Big Blog Of Your Guide To Modern Living. Ms. Brosh also helpfully provided a link to another site, from the world down Under -- land of Foster's, ANZAC Day, Little Rupert, and 'Knifey-Spooney'.

(Incidentally, I don't make jokes about ANZAC Day. It's been nearly a hundred years since all that, but whenever I hear "Abide with Me" it's the first thing I think of.)

This is 27b/6, a blog by Mr. David Thorne of Adelaide, South Australia, who appears to have a surfeit of Wit and a string to swing it with. Whenever he encounters a specimen of humanity, so thick that it can do nothing but take itself too seriously, he pulls their chain. Repeatedly.

Hee hee hee.

The action is captured and chronicled in a series of email exchanges between the said Mr. Thorne and the selfsame Specimens ... and while this is a recurring theme, that's just some of what the blog is about.

Ed, The Impartial And Courteous Robot, Mr. Thorne's Little Avatar.

Remember To Say "Please", Don't Be A Dick, And It Is Very Probable

You'll Leave Alive (Increase Your Chances By Purchasing A T-Shirt)

Here's a sample: Mr. Thorne, who works as a graphic and web designer, is contacted by a friend, Shannon, whose cat has disappeared.

She is sad, and wants her friend, the designer, to stop whatever he is doing as a paid professional and support her in her moment of existential crisis (if my cat can disappear anything can happen), vulnerability and doubt by making a "Have You Seen My Cat?" poster.

It helps to know that Mr. Thorne does not like cats. At all.

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FROM: Shannon Walkley
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 9.15am
TO: David Thorne
SUBJECT: Poster

Hi

I opened the screen door yesterday and my cat got out and has been missing since then so I was wondering if you are not to busy you could make a poster for me. It has to be [Letter Sized, 8.5 X 11 inches] and I will photocopy it and put it around my suburb this afternoon.

This is the only photo of her I have she answers to the name Missy and is black and white and about 8 months old. missing on Harper street and my phone number.

Thanks

Shan

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Mr. Thorne also provides helpful photos of each and every individual he pulls into his virtual tree mulcher encounters in his email adventures, so that we all may have a more complete vision of whom, exactly, he is in the process of "dealing with".

The Unsuspecting Shannon, Who Has Opened The Door (27b/6)

We've all seen films where the director shows us The Monster / Zombie / Thing Going Into The Room; the door closes behind it. Later, some character appears that we've seen before, already established as clueless or bad or disagreeable. They have no idea (as the audience does) that The Thing Is Just Behind The Door.

When the character opens that door (as they must), they pause -- doing something disagreeable, just to draw out the big moment where the camera focuses on their face as their eyes widen; then, the camera cuts away and we hear the inevitable roar, screaming, and big, wet crunching sound.

So at this time, we would request all readers of Before Nine to secure your harness and lap restraints, to bring your tray tables to their full, upright and locked position, and to ensure that your heads are resting comfortably against your seat's neck support in anticipation of acceleration.

This installment is entitled, Yeah thats not what I was looking for. Belt's not too tight, is it? Want a cigarette? A juice box? All righty, then; here we go:

FROM: David Thorne
TO: Shannon Walkley
SUBJECT: Re: Poster

Dear Shannon,

That is shocking news. Luckily I was sitting down when I read your email and not half way up a ladder or tree. How are you holding up? I am surprised you managed to attend work at all what with thinking about Missy out there cold, frightened and alone... possibly lying on the side of the road, her back legs squashed by a vehicle, calling out "Shannon, where are you?"

Although I have two clients expecting completed work this afternoon, I will, of course, drop everything and do whatever it takes to facilitate the speedy return of Missy.

Regards, David.

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FROM: Shannon Walkley
TO: David Thorne
SUBJECT: Re: Re: Poster

yeah ok thanks. I know you dont like cats but I am really worried about mine. I have to leave at 1pm today.

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FROM: David Thorne
TO: Shannon Walkley
SUBJECT: Re: Re: Re: Poster

Dear Shannon,

I never said I don't like cats. Once, having been invited to a party, I went clothes shopping beforehand and bought a pair of expensive G-Star boots. They were two sizes too small but I wanted them so badly I figured I could just wear them without socks and cut my toenails very short. As the party was only a few blocks from my place, I decided to walk.

After the first block, I lost all feeling in my feet. Arriving at the party, I stumbled into a guy named Steven, spilling Malibu & coke onto his white Wham 'Choose Life' t-shirt, and he punched me. An hour or so after the incident, Steven sat down in a chair already occupied by a cat. The surprised cat clawed and snarled causing Steven to leap out of the chair, slip on a rug and strike his forehead onto the corner of a speaker; resulting in a two inch open gash. In its shock, the cat also defecated, leaving Steven with a wet brown stain down the back of his beige cargo pants. I liked that cat.

Attached poster as requested.

Regards, David.

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FROM: Shannon Walkley
TO: David Thorne
SUBJECT: Re: Re: Re: Re: Poster

yeah thats not what I was looking for at all. it looks like a movie and how come the photo of Missy is so small?

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FROM: David Thorne
To: Shannon Walkley
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Poster

Dear Shannon,

It's a design thing. The cat is lost in the negative space.

Regards, David

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FROM: Shannon Walkley
TO: David Thorne
SUBJECT: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Poster

Thats just stupid. Can you do it properly please? I am extremely emotional over this and was up all night in tears. you seem to think it is funny. Can you make the photo bigger please and fix the text and do it in colour please. Thanks.

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FROM: David Thorne
TO: Shannon Walkley
SUBJECT: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Poster

Dear Shannon,

Having worked with designers for a few years now, I would have assumed you understood, despite our vague suggestions otherwise, we do not welcome constructive criticism. I don't come downstairs and tell you how to send text messages, log onto Facebook and look out of the window. I am willing to overlook this faux pas due to you no doubt being preoccupied with thoughts of Missy attempting to make her way home across busy intersections or being trapped in a drain as it slowly fills with water. I spent three days down a well once but that was just for fun.

I have amended and attached the poster as per your instructions.

Regards, David

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FROM: Shannon Walkley
TO: David Thorne
SUBJECT: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Poster

This is worse than the other one. can you make it so it shows the whole photo of Missy and delete the stupid text that says missing missy off it? I just want it to say lost.

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FROM: David Thorne
TO: Shannon Walkley
SUBJECT: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Poster

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FROM: Shannon Walkley
TO: David Thorne
SUBJECT: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Poster

yeah can you do the poster or not? I just want a photo and the word lost and the telephone number and when and where she was lost and her name. Not like a movie poster or anything stupid. I have to leave early today. If it was your cat I would help you. Thanks.

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FROM: David Thorne
TO: Shannon Walkley
SUBJECT: Awww

Dear Shannon,

I don't have a cat. I once agreed to look after a friend's cat for a week but after he dropped it off at my apartment and explained the concept of kitty litter, I kept the cat in a closed cardboard box in the shed and forgot about it. If I wanted to feed something and clean faeces, I wouldn't have put my mother in that home after her stroke. A week later, when my friend came to collect his cat, I pretended that I was not home and mailed the box to him. Apparently I failed to put enough stamps on the package and he had to collect it from the post office and pay eighteen dollars. He still goes on about that sometimes, people need to learn to let go.

I have attached the amended version of your poster as per your detailed instructions.

Regards, David

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FROM: Shannon Walkley
TO: David Thorne
SUBJECT: Re: Re: Awww

Thats not my cat. where did you get that picture from? That cat is orange. I gave you a photo of my cat.

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FROM: David Thorne
TO: Shannon Walkley
SUBJECT: Re: Re: Awww

I know, but that one is cute. As Missy has quite possibly met any one of several violent ends, it is possible you might get a better cat out of this. If anybody calls and says "I haven't seen your orange cat but I did find a black and white one with its hind legs run over by a car, do you want it?" you can politely decline and save yourself a costly veterinarian bill.

I knew someone who had a basset hound that had its hind legs removed after an accident and it had to walk around with one of those little buggies with wheels. If it had been my dog I would have asked for all its legs to be removed and replaced with wheels and had a remote control installed. I could charge neighbourhood kids for rides and enter it in races. If I did the same with a horse I could drive it to work. I would call it Steven.

Regards, David.

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FROM: Shannon Walkley
TO: David Thorne
SUBJECT: Re: Re: Re: Awww

Please just use the photo I gave you.

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FROM: David Thorne
TO: Shannon Walkley
SUBJECT: Re: Re: Re: Awww

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FROM: Shannon Walkley
TO: David Thorne
SUBJECT: Re: Re: Re: Re: Awww

I didnt say there was a reward. I dont have $2000 dollars. What did you even put that there for? Apart from that it is perfect can you please remove the reward bit. Thanks Shan

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FROM: David Thorne
TO: Shannon Walkley
SUBJECT: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Awww

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FROM: Shannon Walkley
TO: David Thorne
SUBJECT: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Awww

Can you just please take the reward bit off altogether? I have to leave in ten minutes and I still have to make photocopies of it.

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FROM: David Thorne
TO: Shannon Walkley
SUBJECT: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Awww

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FROM: Shannon Walkley
TO: David Thorne
SUBJECT: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Awww

Fine. That will have to do.

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(Thorne is not a one-trick pony with his humor. Baiting rednecks and the clueless is good fun no matter what anyone says; and watching Thorne take it right to the edge with rude business owners, officious rule-tending property managers, and cops, is very much like watching Phillipe Petit walk across a tightrope stretched between the World Trade Center Towers in 1974: You might not have the cojones to do it yourself, but your glass is raised when he pulls it off: Cheers, mate.

While living for a time in that part of the good ole USA where Bears are a potential part of the furniture, Thorne was fined by his local constabulary for "leaving trash unsecured", where it might attract said Bears.

After a number of emails back and forth, Thorn sent them photos of a Bear, which he had seen in the woods, found in his car, and eventually sitting on the sofa in his apartment. Although not immediately evident, he said, ...the bear is sitting between myself and the television remote control, located on the cushion to its left. As this effectively cuts off my ability to change channels and The View just started, this should be classed as an emergency situation.

Intruder Alert: Bear More Interested In "Dancing With The Stars"

FROM: Patricia Jennings
TO: David Thorne
SUBJECT: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Bears

I wont be sending an officer because your not in any danger at all. You have obviously just put a blanket on a dog... If you want to express your opinion on trash collection rules you are welcome to attend the next MPOA community meeting which is held each month. Not understanding the importance of bear safety doesnt mean you dont have to follow the rules. I'm not even sure what your point is.

Ultimately, people like Patricia and Shannon have the gnawing feeling they've opened the door on -- well, something -- and before it comes out of the shadows and can be clearly seen they understand that they should just give it whatever it wants, back away, and close the door.

But (like Brosh), Thorne is a good writer; he's already proven himself as a satirist. He has a good sense of comic timing, and the pain thresholds for site visitors who laugh hard enough to herniate or wet themselves or end up begging their pets to hurt them so they can stop (I have some personal knowledge of this). There's Teh Funny hiding in just about everything on Thorne's site (including a Counter displaying 7,197,824 hits, but is in fact a random number generator).

27b/6 carries a standard disclaimer -- This website contains material for my amusement only, it says. ...Activities and vehicle modifications appearing or described on this site may be potentially dangerous. Unless the word sheep has been used in its correct context somewhere other than in this disclaimer, it does not have any purpose and may be ignored.

Then, there's Thorne's version of being interviewed by the Legendary, Squinting, Ever-Expanding Oprah:

(Remember: Widescreen Videos Don't Really Fit On My Dog-

Sized Blog. Try Seeing It Here For The Full Experience)

It also has Ed The Robot, who seems nice, despite the heavy armament. And; hey, hey hey! Mr. Thorne has a book coming out on April 24th, compiling his email adventures in living, and even explains that the whole universe is a lot closer than we think. The Moon, for example, is only about 9 miles away, and about a mile and a half in diameter. Really. No, really.

(That said, I don't know why it took some satellite six years to go to Mercury just to take a bunch of photos. What did it do, stop off to have a drink? Take a sabbatical? Go to work for the Cylons? Impersonate an iPad; what?)

Incidentally; if you don't feel that any of the foregoing is funny in any way, please be aware that you may not have a sense of humor. Your exact species may be in question, and we recommend a trip to the Department Of Biology at any Institution of Higher Learning closest to you so that Real Professionals ( © ) can determine exactly what, if anything, you are.

Also, as a humor amputee you may be eligible for Federal subsidies, grants for the 'levity-challenged' (apply now, before Der Tea Partei removes these funding sources and force us all to live in yurts and lick the boots of our Betters). You may also receive a copy of the Home Game and other prizes.

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More Very Exceptionally Awful Bad Things

Reactor Pit Found Leaking Radioactive Water Into Sea

Future Postcard: Tourists On Eastern Japanese Beach Have 6.8
Minutes Of Fun And Cannot Ever Have X-Ray Or CTI Taken Again

The New York Times online reports that now, "highly radioactive water is leaking directly into the sea from a damaged pit near a crippled reactor at the Fukushima Daiichi nuclear plant".

The leak, found at a maintenance pit near the plant’s No. 2 reactor, is a fresh reminder of the dangerous side effects of the strategy to cool the reactors and spent fuel storage pools by pumping hundreds of tons of water a day into them. While much of that water has evaporated, a significant portion has also turned into runoff... Japanese authorities have said they have little choice at the moment, since the normal cooling systems at the plant are inoperable and more radiation would be released if the reactors were allowed to melt down fully or the rods caught fire.

TEPCO Worker Points To Crack In Wall Between Pool
Collecting Highly Radioactive Water And The Sea
(Photo: TEPCO, Via Agence France-Presse)

Workers are racing to drain the excess water, but they have struggled to figure out how to store it. On Saturday, some contaminated water was transferred into a barge to free up space in other tanks on land. A second barge also arrived.

“The more water they add, the more problems they are generating,” said Satoshi Sato, a consultant to the nuclear energy industry and a former engineer with General Electric. “It’s just a matter of time before the leaks into the ocean grow.”

Also, yesterday U.S. Energy Secretary Steven Chu reported that "roughly 70 percent of the core of one reactor at the crippled Fukushima nuclear plant" [Reactor No. 1] had suffered severe damage (that's "meltdown" to you and me).

Just so it's clear, the graphic that introduces this post is Gallows Humor: I don't consider this situation in the least funny. And, the TEPCO logo (their old one; the new logo looks something like a bizarre Mickey Mouse head) appears because, in one Dog's opinion, at the beginning of this crisis when every moment counted, the reticence and evasion of Tokyo Power Company officials to admit how bad it was and request help guaranteed the situation would become monstrously worse.

And sensitive as I am to the cultural differences between national groups, I don't care if the CEO of TEPCO weeps in public; he should resign, there should be public hearings, fines and jail time. But, Japan isn't America, and we can't expect the same level of punitive reaction and media frenzy. I'm not sure in this case if that's good, or bad.

It's an obvious point -- but for us, on the opposite side of the globe from Japan, our collective attitude towards the nuclear disaster is well, distanced. Unfortunately, the ecology of the planet isn't as compartmentalized as our normal human perceptions of events tends to be.

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Not April Fools'

Terry Jones: With Enough Bibles And Guns

Afghans Angry Over Florida Koran Burning Kill U.N. Staff
By ENAYAT NAJAFIZADA and ROD NORDLAND
The New York Times, April 1, 2011

MAZAR-I-SHARIF, Afghanistan — Stirred up by a trio of angry mullahs, thousands of protesters overran the compound of the United Nations in Mazar-i-Sharif, killing at least 12 people, Afghan and United Nations officials said...

Friday’s episode began when three mullahs, addressing worshipers at Friday Prayers inside the Blue Mosque here, one of Afghanistan’s holiest places, urged people to take to the streets to agitate for the arrest of Terry Jones, the Florida pastor who oversaw the burning of a Koran on March 20.

I'm sure "Pastor" Jones will take personal responsibility for his actions (as all christians do) and just sit right down and write letters of condolence to the families of each of the twelve UN employees -- who would still be alive, but for Jones' ignorant, bigoted and pathetically deluded speech and behavior.

UPDATE: "Pastor" Jones says not responsible and calls for "retribution" over the murder of UN employees in Afghanistan -- how, exactly, wasn't made clear.

Mr. Jones said in an interview with Agence France-Presse on Friday that he was “devastated” by the killings of 12 people in a violent protest in Afghanistan when a mob, enraged by the burning of a Koran by Mr. Jones’s church, attacked the United Nations compound in the northern city of Mazar-i-Sharif. “We don’t feel responsible for that,” he told the news service...

In a statement, Mr. Jones demanded that the United States and United Nations take “immediate action” against Muslim nations in retaliation for the deaths. “The time has come to hold Islam accountable” ... [h]e also called on the United Nations to act against “Muslim-dominated countries,” which he said “must alter the laws that govern their countries to allow for individual freedoms and rights, such as the right to worship, free speech and to move freely without fear of being attacked or killed.”

Some members of [Jones' church] the Dove World Outreach Center said they feared they would be attacked.

“We have a huge stack of death threats,” [a church member] said. “We take precautions. I have a handgun. A lot of us have concealed weapons permits..."

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What Would You Like The Numbers To Say?

NFP (Non-Farm Payroll) Report

A friend at work once told me a story about being the third person in the room when the CEO of the corporation he worked for met with the CFO. "What about the quarterlies?" The CEO asked, referring to Quarterly financial data. "What do the numbers tell us?"

After a pause, the CFO said, "What would you like the numbers to say?"

At 5:30AM PDST today, the Bureau Of Labor Statistics reported a net increase of some 216,000 jobs last month, lowering the reported unemployment rate from approximately 9.4% to 8.8%.

I'm reposting the article below verbatim from Barry Ritholtz's The Big Picture. I don't often repost someone's writing in its entirety (the assumption being that readers are capable of following the helpful link provided so you can read on your own). However, I'm only a Dog, no one listens to me, and Herr Ritholtz says all this more succinctly than I ever could:

Contextualizing the NFP Data
By Barry Ritholtz - April 1, 2011 - 7:17AM

The U.S. Employment Situation report aka Non-Farm Payrolls may be one of the most misunderstood, over-traded datapoint that exists. I want to contextualize today’s jobs numbers for readers in a way that helps you to understand what it does — and doesn’t — actually mean.

Please bear with me as I over-simplify this for illustration purposes.

To begin with, you need to understand the size and scope on the Labor market, and what is actually being modeled. There are about 140 million Americans working full time in the country today. Another 15 million or so would like full time jobs, but don’t have one. They may be working part time or not at all.

What the monthly Employment Situation report measures — in near real time — is the net changes in that number. Take the total net number of new hires, subtract the job losses, and you get the marginal change in Employment.

Since our starting number is so big (140m+), and the monthly net changes are so small (200k), the overall change is a statistically small number. Typically, the net change is between one tenth (140k) and one quarter (350k). During the height of the 2008-09 crisis, the net change was approximately half a percent (700k).

The model that produces the monthly number is part measurement (Establishment surveys), part extrapolation (Birth Death adjustment). This is then revised, as more and better data comes in later. The model gets re-benchmarked, seasonality is adjusted for, and one-off weather or other events impact (and that impact then attenuates away) the overall NFP series.

Thus, any single 0.1% data point needs to be recognized for what it is. One data point in a longer series. This is why I continually have emphasized the importance of longer term employment trends rather than obsess over any given month.

While employment reacts to the broader economy — this is why it typically lags the economic cycle — it does contain forward looking components. This is why we always track Hours worked, Income, and Temp help. These three components tend to lead the economic cycle.

Hence, there is lots of good and valuable information contained in the monthly NFP release — it's just not what most people think it is.

~~~

This month, consensus estimates are for 190,000 net job gains. In a normal economic cycle, this would be considered a soft number, barely greater than the 150k need to stay ahead of population growth. However, in a post credit crisis economy, where GDP remains middling and job creation is not robust, this is considered a decent number. To really move the needle on Unemployment, 300-400k per month (or better) is what is required...

This is not much different from what Paul Krugman has been saying for years (yes, folks; we're going into either the third or the fourth year of this Great Recession, depending upon whether you're counting from September of 2007 or 2008): In order to erase unemployment, you must create not only jobs for those sixteen to twenty million already unemployed -- but for the approximately 300,000 new entrants in the labor force, every month.

It's also something Rithholtz doesn't delve into here -- a question of what kinds of jobs all these people find.

If a middle-level manager, a teacher, or an aircraft mechanic are re-employed... as janitors, fast-food clerks, and taxi drivers... is that really a "Recovery"?

So, 216K new jobs are nice; better than nothing, but... Feh.

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Reddy Kilowatt: Burning Down The House

From Japan's Kyodo News service:

Radiation level in seawater hits new high near Fukushima plant
TOKYO, March 31, Kyodo

In a sign that radiation is continuing to leak from the troubled Fukushima Daiichi nuclear power plant, radioactive iodine-131 at a concentration of 4,385 times the maximum level permitted under law has been detected in seawater near the plant, according to the latest data made available Thursday morning.

Japanese authorities were also urged to consider taking action over radioactive contamination outside the 20-kilometer evacuation zone around the plant, as the International Atomic Energy Agency said readings from soil samples collected in the village of Iitate, about 40 km from the plant, exceeded its criteria for evacuation.

...the concentration level of radioactive iodine-131 in a seawater sample collected Wednesday afternoon around 330 meters south of the plant exceeded the previous high recorded the day before. In Tuesday's sample, the concentration level was 3,355 times the maximum legal limit.

The authorities denied that either situation posed an immediate threat to human health, but the government said it plans to enhance radiation data monitoring around the plant on the Pacific coast...

My favorite part is, "authorities denied that either situation posed an immediate threat to human health".

So, if 3,355 times the maximum legal limit of radioactivity isn't considered a threat to human beings, perhaps the good people in the Japanese government might explain where they draw the line? 5,000 times? 10,000 times? And what, in Japan's population, are the acceptable numbers of radiation-induced deaths, birth defects and cancers?

But, I suppose these questions are, uh, impolite.

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The Never-Ending Story

JPMorgan Loses Court Ruling Over Loan Putbacks

REUTERS - JPMorgan Chase & Co could be forced to repurchase thousands of home equity loans, after a judge ruled in favor of a bond insurer that argued it could build its case based on a sampling of loans.

The ruling against EMC Mortgage Corp, once a unit of Bear Stearns Cos, comes amid many lawsuits seeking to force banks to buy back tens of billions of dollars of mortgage and other home loans that went sour. JPMorgan bought Bear Stearns in 2008.

Syncora Guarantee Inc. now can pursue claims concerning the entire 9,871-loan pool that backed a securities issue, according to the ruling late Friday from U.S. District Judge Paul Crotty in Manhattan.

The ruling lowers the hurdle for insurers trying to prove they were deceived by banks, and increases the potential that banks could be forced to buy back more loans.

(Read the entire article here.)

At least several Trillion dollars in Mortgage-Backed Securities (aka Collateralized Debt Obligations) sold through all major Wall Street investment houses between 2008 and 2008 are backed by 'pools' of home mortgages.

The mortgages were sold by unscrupulous and greed-driven leasing companies (like Coutrywide Mortgage), who didn't care if the mortgages were based on bad information, or if the homebuyers were later screwed by resetting, adjustable rates. The idea was to produce more and more mortgages to add to the pools of new mortgages so that MBS / CDO's could be created and the mortgage companies and investments houses and banks could charge fees and get their cut.

All the MBS's and CDO's are still out there. However, no one knows what the underlying mortgages are actually worth. And, the banks holding those mortgages have avoided having to repurchase them. Cases like the one noted above may change that.

...at least, for a time. Soon, the funny little law Governor Walker in Wisconsin rammed through without any real due process will make its way to the Supreme Court. As will this case.

I predict that Little Tony Scalia, three years old, and Bobby Alito and Johnny Roberts, and Little Clarence, and Little Tony Kennedy, too (Gosh, that description is like a kind of Fascist "Our Gang" comedy film, huh?) will all vote "No!" to the right of Americans to bargain collectively. Who cares what the labor movement since 1850 was about? Corporations Are So People Too!

And in another case, they will say that "Big Banks Are People Too", and rule that they shouldn't have to pay anything at all for any thing. No, sir. And those whiny bunch of greedy people who forced poor Angelo Mozilo to give them bad home loans will just have to take their medicine and eat their pie. Every bite.

Because this is America, where Der Tea Partei says We don't like them activist judges; no, sir.

Unless...

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Where I'd Rather Be

Currently about 57 F, 17:30PM. Want to see what it's like right now? Check this out -- The view is northeast, from the Historical Museum, over the Spree and the Palace Bridge, across the Museum Insel towards Alexanderplatz. The Berliner Dom on the left, Berliner Rathaus in the background, and the big white tube beyond the Dom is the base of the Fernsehturm.

Not sure what the covered construction cube in the foreground is about -- possibly the beginning of the reconstruction of the Hohenzollern palace, damaged during WW2 and later demolished, rebuilding for which was just approved by the Berlin City council last year.

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Tracking The Extremely Bad Things

The New York Times online now has posted a running status page on conditions at each of the four damaged reactors at the Fukushima Daiichi TEPCO nuclear plant, where the situation continues to become worse in terms of radiation levels and contamination.

You can go to the page here.

This is a crisis in slow motion; it isn't like the earthquake and tsunami, over in a few hours, leaving devastation behind -- a bit like photographs of Hiroshima and Nagasaki which seem so eerily similar but so far away, now.

I should note that I'm not a disaster junkie; I don't perceive of this is a science-fiction situation and hang on every news report about the reactor's status. I'm interested in it because in many ways, it should not have spun as badly out of control as it has. There are reasons for that and people responsible.

It's a crisis in engineering, in global policy involving development of nuclear power in a world running out of energy, and one part of a continuing, deeply saddening human tragedy. A quarter-million people are effectively homeless in central Japan, living for the most part without complaint in makeshift shelters and with no idea what will happen to them next.

Several hundred men are trying to perform work at the Fukushima plant and exposing themselves to the kinds of hazards that only appear in our nightmares. It takes a very specific mindset, and willingness to place the good of the whole above your own safety, to do what these men are doing; giving these people a moment's thought at some point in your day wouldn't be a bad idea.

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NOTE: [Not A Paid Advertisement] Today, the New York Times inaugurated its digital subscription services, offering online access packages for PC/Laptops, Tablets and Smartphones in three different combinations. Subscribers to the NYT's print version automatically receive unlimited access to the paper's online version.

You can say a lot about the Times, but there are very few newspapers left (and few news organizations, period, that aren't part of Little Rupert's bloated, distorted, fast-food media empire) with any journalistic integrity at all.

I know the NYT has occasionally made, uh, Boo-Boos (remember Little Judy Miller?) in that regard. And that the subscription business model of getting people to sign up to spend a set amount of money every month isn't as sexy and bleeding-edge as other areas in the digital Intertubeverse.

In sum, I like the Times, and am willing to put my Dog biscuits where my barking is. Take a look at what they're proposing; you want, you don't want.

Mongo Reading Paul Krugman, Or Shadow Statistics, Or 'Salon'

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No Spiritual Priorties Whatsoever

Years ago, when I was reading Doonesbury (I haven't for almost two decades, and wouldn't recommend it, now), I recall a musical question (asked during the decade of Saint Ronald The Dim) by one of its characters: What was the principal effect of our involvement in Vietnam?, and the answer was something like An abandonment of America's spiritual priorities!

Bob Herbert, columnist at the New York Times, is leaving that paper after eighteen years of reminding readers that America is also a society of the poor and nearly-poor, and are often ignored and manipulated for the benefit of others.

His last column is entitled, "Losing Our Way", and The Great Curmudgeon reminded me in a post this morning to read it:

Welcome to America in the second decade of the 21st century. An army of long-term unemployed workers is spread across the land, the human fallout from the Great Recession and long years of misguided economic policies... The few jobs now being created too often pay a pittance, not nearly enough to pry open the doors to a middle-class standard of living...

Limitless greed, unrestrained corporate power and a ferocious addiction to foreign oil have led us to an era of perpetual war and economic decline. Young people today are staring at a future in which they will be less well off than their elders...

The U.S. has not just misplaced its priorities. When the most powerful country ever to inhabit the earth finds it so easy to plunge into the horror of warfare but almost impossible to find adequate work for its people or to properly educate its young, it has lost its way entirely.

I've reached a place where I sincerely believe that the various Conservative politicians and currents in America are narcissistic, violent, even sociopathic elements in the culture which must be resisted at all costs and removed from any position of influence.

I'd like them to go elsewhere, just as they'd like to pack most of us off to camps in Siberia if it were possible. Likewise, the upper percentages of our Wealthy: They're always going to be rich; they can live wherever they want, so let them go there. Go to the south of France or Sloane Gardens or Tony little hideaways only their set know about. But get out of my country.

At the same time, I discard the axiomatic belief in the Democratic Party as the place where Hope and relief, where the embodiment of equitable policies for human beings, resides. Obama has turned out in many ways to be as poor a leader and as much a plaything of Wealth as any Republican -- certainly Nixon, Reagan, Bush Sr., or Lil' Boots -- in other words, just another corruptible pol with a wonderful public relations machine.

The leader of Obama's economic council of advisers was Larry Summers (whom I've written about before). Summers was replaced by Jeffrey Imhalt, the head of General Electric Corporation -- which pays no taxes, at all, due to "aggressive lobbying"; in fact, by their reckoning, the government owes GE money. But, the fact that Obama is asking persons of the ilk of a Summers or Imhalt to lead -- instead of Paul Volker (who was on the same council, until effectively ignored and forced out), or Nobel economists like Paul Krugmann or Joseph Stiglitz... is telling. Not that it wasn't obvious before.

We're told politics is very complicated. Look at how complex a situation Libya is! The D.C. establishment might say. It isn't that simple. We can't just do this, or that; we have allies to consider -- and there's so much intelligence we have, that we can't show you. And, the economy is so very, very complex, too. We'll fix things, but we must be careful; proceed very slowly. We understand your pain. But just trust us grownups. We haven't done so badly so far, now have we?.

I realize that Conservatives and the Wealthy "are people too" and "are Americans too", and that my demands that they go to fucking Mars (there's no air, but the first fifty billion is tax free! There! Happy now?) are only juvenile expressions of helpless anger.

However, if asked, the American Right wouldn't have any trouble removing the Left from the United States; the Right in its rhetoric and actions constantly threatens people on the Left with physical violence, even murder -- to make room for their more godly and correct ways of living.

When was the last time a "liberal" committed an act of violence against a meeting of conservatives, or targeted them in their homes, or stood outside their businesses and prayed openly for a god to strike them dead? Where are the left-wing websites spewing hate for the Right, calling their women whores and the rest dirty, ignorant rednecks? I'll answer the questions: Never and None.

I haven't stopped being a nonviolent Progressive in any way, make, shape or form. The argument I make -- and that I'm suggesting Bob Herbert might make -- is that in order to redefine what our country stands for (if, you know, you think that's important), perhaps we need to go back to first principles -- ones where race, gender; age; disability; sexual orientation; and even fucking food choice is no barrier to human rights. Where it's made clear that employment, housing, clean air and water, medical care and disability, security in older age, reflect the compact between a government and its citizens -- not a list of 'services' or 'products' to be privatized, and shoved at us like fat-meat hamburgers from a fast-food chain.

Nearly 14 million Americans are jobless and the outlook for many of them is grim. Since there is just one job available for every five individuals looking for work, four of the five are out of luck...

There is plenty of economic activity in the U.S., and plenty of wealth. But like greedy children, the folks at the top are seizing virtually all the marbles. Income and wealth inequality in the U.S. have reached stages that would make the third world blush. As the Economic Policy Institute has reported, the richest 10 percent of Americans received an unconscionable 100 percent of the average income growth in the years 2000 to 2007, the most recent extended period of economic expansion.

Perhaps we need to understand -- as anyone using common sense can -- that a multi-billion-dollar corporation is not an individual human being, and has no business being treated as such in a legal sense.

Maybe America really needs to be the place where truths are told -- not some manipulative approximation of selected facts, and not a denial or censoring of science. Where education is recognized as a process of discovery and exploration, not a process of force-feeding political and religious dogma to children through textbooks filled with distortions and obfuscations, and school boards intimidated by shrieking Teabaggers and evangelicals.

Americans behave as if [the disparity in wealth] is somehow normal or acceptable. It shouldn’t be, and didn’t used to be. Through much of the post-World War II era, income distribution was far more equitable, with the top 10 percent of families accounting for just a third of average income growth, and the bottom 90 percent receiving two-thirds. That seems like ancient history now.

The current maldistribution of wealth is also scandalous. In 2009, the richest 5 percent claimed 63.5 percent of the nation’s wealth. The overwhelming majority, the bottom 80 percent, collectively held just 12.8 percent.

Perhaps we need to be a country where the population is treated as adults, partners in an evolving democratic experiment -- not peasants to be herded into low-wage jobs, military service for endless wars; kept docile with priced just right electronic gadgetry and cable teevee; and dumped into tent cities when the Masters Of The Universe say, Oopsie! Our Bubble broke the economy, again! We made out like bandits, and so did our buddies -- But, hey; that's business!

Where there are no secret kangaroo courts and wiretapping. Where multibillionaires who break the law or create harm do go to jail -- or are treated as the IRS treats some who owe taxes: Allowing them several hundred dollars per month income, and forced them to sell everything they own but a bed, chair, refrigerator and limited kitchen utensils.

Perhaps we need to mean what we say. Perhaps we need to be a nation of equitable laws, possibly for the first time. Perhaps we need to understand that the "American Experiment" is still an evolving, ongoing one.. and that it can still fail, if it hasn't already. Perhaps it really does need to "be that simple".

But, I'm only a Dog, and no one listens to me.

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