Tuesday, November 26, 2013

Reprint Heaven: Seth McFarlane Is A Flatulent Sociopath

Or, You Know, Not.  Thanks for ending one of animated America's better creations:
Brian Griffin, 2002 - 2013
(Below, from 2009)



Family Guy - Episode 85, "Barely Legal": (12/17/2006) The Outrage Thus Far: Brian has been given a pie and a container of Cool Whip by Meg -- whose infatuation with him following a brief, drunken moment necking after a High School dance quickly turns to obsession, much to Brian's discomfort ("You know, Brian; I had no idea how flat and wide your tongue was").

Meg has baked some of her own hair into the pie ("That means some of me is in that pie, Brian -- that means some of me is inside you. Can you feel me? Can you feel me inside you, Brian?").














... but for now, The Set-Up For the Humorous Bit: Meg leaves; Stewie enters the living room, spots the tray with the pie, and the Cool Whip, and sits on the couch next to Brian.
Stewie: Ooh, some pie! Can I have a piece?
Brian: Uh -- okay.
Stewie: Ummm. Let me have some of that Coo Hwhip.
Brian: What'd you say?
Stewie: You can't have a pie without Coo Hwhip.
Brian: 'Coo Hwhip'?
Stewie: Coo Hwhip, yeah.
Brian: You mean, 'Cool Whip'.
Stewie: Yeah, Coo Hwhip.
Brian: Cool Whip.
Stewie: Coo Hwhip.
Brian: Cool Whip.
Stewie: Coo Hwhip.













Brian: You're saying it weird.Why are you putting so much emphasis on the’H’ ?
Stewie: What are you talking about? I'm just saying it. Coo Hwhip. You put Coo Hwhip on pie. Pie tastes better with Coo Hwhip.
Brian: Say ‘Whip’.
Stewie: Whip.
Brian: Now say, ‘Cool Whip’.
Stewie: ‘Coo Hwhip’.
Brian: Cool Whip.
Stewie: Coo Hwhip.
Brian: Cool Whip.
Stewie: Coo Hwhip.
Brian: Cool -- You're eating hair !!
Much as I like the antics of Family Guy, I suddenly remembered this broadcast episode (and so many others; this bit was nothing) is now part of the rich electronic heritage of our species -- a cloud of signals, expanding into the Cosmos at hundreds of thousands of miles an hour.

If alien civilizations are able to pick these broadcasts up, in deciphering our culture they will not know whether to give more weight to Brian's conversation with Stewie, or FDR's First Inauguration ("Nothing To Fear But Fear Itself") speech.

Any episode where Stewie tries to take over the Earth could mean the difference between aliens who decide to annihilate us just to end The threat of this tiny pink creature with the huge braincase, and aliens who think he's someone they could cut a deal with.

Problems could occur if they arrive and demand to speak with him. Alternatively, we could have problems if they appear and demand to speak with FDR:
"We wish to speak with the Franklin Roosevelt. Failure to allow us to do so will mean the elimination of your species. Oh, and several egg creams while we wait. And xeno-interspecies sex with Sandra Bullock. You know what they say -- 'Once you've had Zxgnarrgnnnn, you never go back' ."


So I was a little concerned -- but, how worried should we be? No aliens have contacted us (Yet. That we know about.); and, it's also true that when compared with the spewing of Michael Savage; Jim Lehrer's vegetative droning; anything having to do with Gossip Girl; or old episodes of Hee Haw, Brian and Stewie come off like a couple of Nobel laureates.

Plus, I like to laugh. I don't know about the aliens.

3 comments:

  1. No aliens have contacted us (Yet. That we know about.)

    I don't know about the aliens either, but I have my suspicions. A couple of weeks ago I was reading in Jacob Needleman's A Little Book on Love, later revised and republished as The Wisdom of Love: Toward a Shared Inner Search. He states, pp 12-13,

    "According to this ancient vision, the universe has far more in it than the kind of entities that modern science can see or infer. There are layers of laws and influences that enclose us the way that a great organism "encloses" the cells and tissues within it, and that support or oppose us in ways that we cannot perceive with the senses. This "vertical" structure of the cosmos is spoken of mythically in all cultures: in the angels and devils of the Semitic religions, in the gods of ancient Egypt and Greece, in the thousands and millions of Hindu deities and demons, in the cosmic protectors and destroyers of Buddhism, in the spirit forces of Native American, African, and other teachings tof the world's peoples. In philosophical language, this vertical cosmos may be characterized, as was done by Plato in the Greek world or by Maimonides in the world of medieval Judaism, as a universe of levels of consciousness and will, a universe populated by intermediate levels between mankind and the Absolute God."

    As I read that, I recalled that I have long intended to read Nobel laureate Doris Lessing's novel Shikasta. The next week she died. From Wikipedia summary of this book:

    Canopus, a benevolent galactic empire centred at Canopus in the constellation Argo Navis, colonises a young and promising planet they name Rohanda (the fruitful). They nurture its bourgeoning humanoids and accelerate their evolution. When the Natives are ready, Canopus imposes a "Lock" on Rohanda that links it via "astral currents" to the harmony and strength of the Canopean Empire. In addition to Canopus, two other empires also establish a presence on the planet: their ally, Sirius from the star of the same name, and their mutual enemy, Puttiora. The Sirians confine their activities largely to genetic experiments on the southern continents during Rohanda's prehistory (described in Lessing's third book in the Canopus series, The Sirian Experiments), while the Shammat of Puttiora remain dormant, waiting for opportunities to strike.

    For many millennia the Natives of Rohanda prosper in a Canopean induced climate of peaceful coexistence and accelerated development. Then an unforeseen "cosmic re-alignment" puts Rohanda out of phase with Canopus which causes the Lock to break. Deprived of Canopus's resources and a steady stream of a substance called SOWF (substance-of-we-feeling), the Natives develop a "Degenerative Disease" that puts the goals of the individual ahead of those of the community. The Shammat exploit this disturbance and begin undermining Canopus's influence by infecting the Natives with their evil ways. As Rohanda degenerates into greed and conflict, the Canopeans reluctantly change its name to Shikasta (the stricken). Later in the book, Shikasta is identified as Earth, or an allegorical Earth. [end of text from Wikipedia]

    Related to this issue - and I have an unread copy of this book on hand as well - John Mack's later book on alien abduction experiences - Passport to the Cosmos - I refer you to the info at Amazon about it.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Lessing's connections to Sufism are fairly well known, and I had a feeling that she had been involved in The Work if only because her 'Canopus In Argo Archives' reminded me of 'Beelzebub's Tales To His Grandson', more than 'All and Everything'.

      And Daniel Pinchbeck is riding an elevator between floors in the verticality of consciousness and perception. He also has some interesting things to say about aliens, from a perspective that Mack might have easily accepted.

      Delete
    2. And in that same 'alien' vein, if you really want something to consider, try this:
      http://www.nytimes.com/2013/12/05/science/at-400000-years-oldest-human-dna-yet-found-raises-new-mysteries.html?hp

      Delete

Please feel free to thrill all humankind with the brilliance and importance of You. And forgo all civility (especially the passive-aggressive sort, aggression masquerading as mildness) . . . you are, after all, anonymous.

But, consider: Dogs have short attention spans, don't tolerate bullies, and we're notoriously thin-skinned -- so make sense, be brief, and play nice, or I'll bite you and pee on your leg. Bark Bark Bark Bark Bark Bark.