The Allure of American Advertising: I'd like a can of... well, anything in a can; some ham; Enriched white bread (now with Cellophane!) -- and a copy of The Shining, please!
All work and no Pork-n-Beans Makes Jack... you get the idea.
"Oh, Boy, Mommy! I really like candied Orphan's Hearts with my ham!"
Later in life, this girl is going to need therapy.