Monday, August 31, 2009

America's Public Vomitorium


Glenn Beck Cries So The Baby Jesus Doesn't Have To.
(Photo: Crooks & Liars)

Glen Beck is the Johnny-Come-Lately of the Rightist pundit crowd. Lard Boy, Billy O'Reilly, and Little Mikey Wiener have been sowing hatred for years with a ready audience, and have made a swell living from it -- hell; the Rightist echo chamber has been an industry for some time now.

They've inspired dozens of Wannabees, faithfully echoing whatever Talking Points the Big Boys dump into the airwaves, barking from local radio stations all over the country. Those stations' managers and owners don't really care about fairness or equal time (that FCC rule was thrown out during the first Reagan administration), because it is all about money.

It's an attractive occupation, for certain persons with a certain level of character. Getting paid to blow chunks of false information, designed to manipulate the anger of people who rely on Right-wing talking heads as their primary source of 'news' and analysis. A little like working at a collection agency -- using your own personality issues to humiliate, bully and motivate people to pay a debt.

The pundits are being paid to vomit: Over the Teevee, over the raido, and the Web; their listeners lap it up, and vomit over their family, friends, neighbors, co-workers, and each other. Some of these listeners call in to Rush or Mikey and vomit all over them, making the circle complete. "Yeah, hey Michael; love your show man; Ya know, I really hate this Liberal crap..."

The Rushbos and Mikeys and Seans are also paid to be as offensive in their vomiting as they want to be; to lie, regularly; to throw mud and harm reputations... when criticized, hotly claim their dribblings are protected by the First Amendment; and, they suffer few (if any) consequences.

They're providing facts to America, by god; facts that a government and a media run by New York Liberals don't want honest, hard-working real Americans to know. They're bringing the truth, the news, to rouse a deaf Liberal-influenced nation. Just simple patriots, you know?


Lard Boy At The White House, 2008 (Photo:Chicago Tribune)
"What is so strange about being honest and saying, 'I want
Barack Obama to fail, if his mission is to restructure and
reform this country so that capitalism and individual liberty
are not its foundation?' Why would I want that to succeed?"


And, if something they say or do really does cause a backlash of indignation (primarily through complaints to their advertising sponsors) -- or, if someone listening to their shows acts on the hate that gushes out on a daily basis and, say, shoots a Family Planning Physician... Then, they say, we're not news reporters -- we're entertainers! We're not responsible for what some nut job does!

And, when certain kinds of violence occurs, the Lard Boys and Mikey Wieners and O'Reillys are... silent. Some violence then, for them, must be okay.

It's really a dream job, for a person with a certain level of character. You're just an entertainer, using "controversy" and "tough talk" as selling points, a "trademark"! And that means listeners, and that means advertising revenue; and that means money! Money, and fame, big ceegars, expensive cars, and all that money can buy.


You Don't Push The Factor; The Factor Pushes You
"Shut Up! Shut Up! Shut Up! Shut Up!"

Yeah; you're on top of the world. You've got what all of the print and television advertising teaches us that real success is about: Platinum Amex, dinner invitations in D.C. -- and girls (allegedly, in the case of at least one 'host', teenaged boys), or the opportunity to make Teh Sexy Talk about Loofahs with a coworker, because you're Teh Guy... and, no one -- nobody -- pushes The Factor!!


Another Special Teevee Moment, Brought To You By Rupert

Glen Beck, 35, is a self-described recovering alcoholic. He's been on radio for fifteen years -- a Morning Drive-Time Guy, a Top 40 DJ; he's done the PSA announcements and spots for Pet Shops and the latest special at Fat Boy Burgers. He's flogged products and services he probably would never use or recommend, because he was paid to -- an important lesson for an up-and-coming whore pundit. Beck is also a self-described christian, born a Roman Catholic, and who in the mid-90's joined the LDS church. His politics are part GOP, part United-Nations-black-helicopters crowd, praise Jesus, and in 2000 he began doing his own call-in show in Tampa, Florida -- just in time for the Presidential election and Gore v. Bush.

Glen noticed that the personalities in his "business", the ones making Bank in radio, living high and well, were following the old Don "Imus In The Morning" format: Be opinionated, take no crap and no prisoners; find a hook -- a catchphrase, a gimmick; make yourself stand out. Appeal to a layer of listeners through the lowest common denominator: What they don't like. What they hate, in fact.

And, Glenn noted that the leading "personalities", every single one, were self-described 'Conservatives' (Imus is negotiating a move to Fox as we speak). It isn't that they cared deeply about the issues they screeched about. To be a foul-mouthed bully meant getting on the Gravy Train -- and that's what it's all about. Glenn understood that the first time he read an advertisement on air for a product he personally believed was harmful or (shudder) sinful.

Beck wanted a taste of what Lard Boy and Bill-O were getting, and after his six-plus years as a Right-Wing call-in host had led to syndication, he made a career move and his people hammered out a deal with one place which encourages and enables Rightist propaganda... and so Glenn came to Rupert's Little Foxes network, as a News Anchor!

And he's been memorable -- why, he even cries. It's, catchy, hah? You'll remember him -- "Oh, yeah; he's dat guy on Fox who cries. Yeah, I know who dat is..." Others observe that Beck's behavior is erratic, in way similar to people diagnosed with serious personality disorders, but they're probably just Dirty Hippie doctors who can't handle the truth.

Recently, in a diatribe about health care legislation, Beck mentioned his stepdaughter (by his second marriage), who has Cerebral Palsy, and told his listeners he was afraid that the Bad President's 'Death Panels' would condemn his little daughter to be executed because she was sick. And, he cried.

Yes, it's a tough job, telling the truth to all Americans. Glenn's most recent 'truth' is that the 2008 election was really just a sham, a 'guise'. It was really a "Coup d'etat", and the Obama administration had carefully hidden it's true agenda from the People and are -- well, I guess, just un-American. Not at all like regular folks -- like all of you. Foreign, really -- as if they had been born somewhere else. Kenya, maybe.

So come closer to the Teevee, gang, and Glenn will tell you the Truth:


Richard Nixon's drama teacher at Whittier High School
once told him, "Dick, if you try, you can cry real tears."
BECK: If I could just -- if we could just be like Cuba. Let me give you the last piece of evidence that there is a revolution going on, and it is coming. It is -- there is a revolution, and they think they can get away with it quietly.

They think they -- and they -- they -- you know what? At this point, gang, I'm not sure, they may be able to because they are so far ahead of us. They know what they're dealing against; most of America does not yet. Most of America doesn't have a clue as to what's going on. There is a coup going on. There is a stealing of America, and the way it is done, it has been done through the -- the guise of an election, but they lied to us the entire time.

Some of us knew! Some of us we're shouting out, you were: "this guy's a Marxist!" "No, no, no, no, no, no." And they're gonna say, "we did it democratically," and they are going to grab power every way they can. And God help us in an emergency.


The message is clear: These people aren't a legitimate government, Beck says. And an illegitimate pack of rulers can be resisted, even attacked, because they're not legitimate. It's a piece of dialogue which could just as easily have come from some White Militia website.

Beck, I'm sure, just sees it as getting a little closer to his fans, to the people who keep him popular, and whom Fox can use to charge premium advertising rates when Glenn is on the air. That's all it is! No harm intended, folks. We're just simple entertainers. Or Patriots. Or something.

I guess it doesn't matter that a continual erosion of faith in our central government will ultimately make it disposable. When Rightists are in power, they give money to the rich, and their incompetence and corruption finally force voters to throw them out. Then, as the Left tries to undo the damage done, the Rightists go on the attack -- lying, screaming; disrupting and grandstanding; changing the debate from actual issues to meaningless and absurd points... all to disrupt the business of that central government as much as possible and then blame the Left because "Liberals are too weak to get anything done".

This tactic worked very well for certain groups in a Middle European country in the early 1930's. Its central government was in debt, and constantly being disrupted by agitation from the Left and Right. The country was tired of turmoil and uncertainty; it's political leaders finally turned to the far Right to form a government. They got order, less turmoil... and much more than they bargained for.


This Image Is No Longer... Well, It's For Your Own Good.

Only a fool believes that currents in history never repeat themselves -- but the audiences for the Becks and Limbaughs and O'Reillys aren't much concerned with History. The only thing that unites them, finally (much like their Middle European counterparts in the 30's) is what they don't like. And that's an incline which is almost impossible, once you've gone down it, to climb up again without paying a heavy price. Ask the Germans. Ask the Spanish.

But, I'm only a dog, and no one listens to me.