Monday, October 5, 2009

Winner Of Quahog's Coveted "Golden Clam" Award



Wow. Nixon was an obsessed, paranoid neurotic -- but he was never turned into a growth medium for tiny useless plants (well -- he's dead. So, maybe he was -- but; who knows).

Reagan spent the United States into a multi-trillion-dollar National Debt trying to bankrupt the Soviet Union, a hole no President since (except for Clinton) has been able to reverse; his second term may well be referred to as the Nancy Davis Presidency. His hair in real life was a masterpiece of Clairol technology -- but no one turned him into a clay repository for an unwanted herb.

Clinton was skewered in Primary Colors, called a murderer, a serially-unfaithful husband, an evil liberal mastermind, and 'Bubbah' -- but he was never lampooned by modeling his head into a late-night, television-advertised item for the desperately lonely or culturally illiterate.

Put me to sleep. Now.

P.S.: Now is the time to talk to your Doctor about overactive bladder syndrome. I just saw that on teevee, right after the ChiaObama commercial; sweartogod.