Monday, May 3, 2010

Police Identify Incompetent Retard Terrorist Person Of Interest In Attempted Times Square Bombing


The 12th Incarnation Of The God Ra Takes Snapshot Of
Jerkwad Who Couldn't Blow Up Inflatable Love Doll, And
Nissan Pathfinder (Shortly To Become Evidence Jackpot)

ABC News indicates that "Federal authorities" are racing to apprehend the Person Of Interest (©) in the attempted Times Square bombing reported by almost every news outlet in those parts of the world that matter.

(At this juncture, I'm hoping these "Federal authorities" aren't, like, the Undersecretary of Inland Waterways and five janitors from the Rayburn Congressional Office Building.)

This person was described as a completely clueless murderous fuckwad "naturalized American citizen... from Pakistan" who had recently returned to the United States after spending five months there. Purchasing the now-infamous Nissan Pathfinder for several hundred dollars in cash, the deluded circus geek perpetrator loaded it with some fairly crude homemade explosives, and drove it to New York City.

Enraged with America and Freedom and having to drive for hours in Midtown without finding a parking space, the bomber apparently armed his home-made devices. Unfortunately (for him), they were such sorry excuses for bombs that he only succeeded in starting a small fire in the back of the Pathfinder.


Security Camera Captures Secret Terrorist Vehicle In
Times Square, And Enhanced View At Upper Right (BBC)

Finally, he stopped his vehicle directly in front of the All-Seeing Eye Of The 12th Incarnation Of The Sun God, Ra (Bow before his power -- yeah; that means you. You know who you are). Smoke was coming out of an open window in the Pathfinder, and the painful excuse for intelligent life bomber got out, scarpering off walking away into the crowd, unobtrusively leaving the Pathfinder's door open and its hazard lights flashing.

A few moments later, some passing tourists caught this video and sold it to CNN.

As most sentient humans now know, fortunately, the Pathfinder did not blow up -- a fact which has provided investigators with a treasure-trove of evidence. A retired NYPD detective told the New York Times, "He was trying to cover his tracks, but he left more clues than a guy walking into a bank to rob it without a mask... [He] left everything here but his wallet."


Special Timing Device (Photo: New York Times)

ABC added that there is apparent evidence that "the bomber did not act alone and had ties to radical elements overseas", with a "senior official" telling ABC News that in addition to the Person Of Interest (©), there are "several individuals believed to be connected with the bombing and that at least one of them is a Pakistani-American".

Meanwhile,

WEST HOLLYWOOD -- A woman believed to be suffering from mental issues is under arrest after sheriff's deputies say she stabbed four shoppers at a West Hollywood Target store.

Is this the time of Chtulu's return, or is this all just a run-up to 2012?


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