Sunday, August 15, 2010


"First and foremost, I’m a businessman. My first goal is to attract the largest audience possible so I can charge confiscatory ad rates. I happen to have great entertainment skills, but that enables me to sell airtime.” Then he added -- as if he had to after a rare moment of honesty -- "But in my heart and soul, I know I have become the intellectual engine of the conservative movement."
John McManus, "The Flap Over Limbaugh", New American, April 2009

(Photo: Courtesy Knowledge -- No Joke)

Lard Boy, 63, racist homophobic misogynistic junkie and self-described shill "intellectual engine" for America's Rightist movement, was reeled in and moored over the weekend to wed 33-year-old Kathryn Rogers in a 'Hawaiian Themed' celebration at a Miami Beach hotel.

This the Blimp's fourth time into the Swine Unit mating chute, and the first for Ms. Rogers.

Guests at the wedding included Karl Rove, Rudy Giuliani, Lard Boy's personal anesthesiologist, and the reanimated corpse of Dean Acheson, who caused a moment of dismay when, as he stood up during the ceremony, his lower jaw fell off.

Lard Boy Salutes The Crowd With Bride And Undead Acheson

When the classic question was raised, If anyone here present knows of any reason why these two may not be joined in holy matrimony, the nose of Rove and a number of other conservatives who sat quietly grew in length by approximately 200 per cent.

Embraced By The Horror: The Couple At A Celebration Of Scotch

The most-remarked part of the celebration in the media was the evening's premiere entertainer, Sir Elton John.

After years of applauding Lard Boy's gay-bashing on-air -- just as they applaud his racist remarks and incitements to defy the government bordering on sedition, even revealing anti-semitism -- many conservatives and evangelicals were "dismayed" that Sir Elton's appearance at the wedding seemed hypocritical.

A Color Guard At The Wedding: Official Photo

However, Zav Chafets, the official biographer of the Michelin Man, hurried to defend his meal ticket remind us that not many people knew it, but Slobodan Milosevic was a deeply sentimental man; and that in his heart, Nikolai Chaucescu really loved dogs and children. A whole a lot.

In an interview last summer [Limbaugh] told me that he regards homosexuality as most likely determined by biology, considers other people’s sex lives to be none of his business and supports gay civil unions. I’m pretty sure that Elton John’s sexual orientation never even crossed Limbaugh’s mind.

I'm sure these samples of the Blimp's comments are proof of his deeply-held personal beliefs.

The new couple have made pleas for privacy. "We try to live our lives as normal people," Lard Boy said in a message on his website. We do not seek media attention. We do not want it, especially for this."

This government is governing against its own citizens.
This president and his party are governing against us.
We are at war with our own President, we are at war with
our own government.

Voice Of The Blimp, January 9, 2010

The media is, aber natürlich, all a-gog and a-twitter. The New York Daily News (competitor to Little Rupert's New York Post) reported "Rush Limbaugh marries gal pal Kathryn Rogers"; USA Today, always insightful, asks "But Will She Love His Cars Too?"

And, everyone, just everyone, wanted to see photos of the event. The Blimp allowed a controlled release, each with his tasteful trademark "Excellence In Broadcasting" stamp.

Excellence In Broadcasting Man Will Save Us From The Scary Awful
Evil Illegitimate Negro Leader, For Ten Gallons Of Fudge Ripple

Psychology Today also weighed in on the event:

Rush Limbaugh's multiple marriages is a 21st century American story... we Americans are crazy about both pair bonding and breaking up...

In his public comments about his marriages, Limbaugh seems to fall right into this conventional pattern of explanation for marital failure... Real insight into a divorce involves understanding one’s own role. Limbaugh at one time did show potentially deeper insight into why he was not good love material.

“I’m too much in love with myself,” he said once between marriages. I wonder if his new wife saw that quote, or this one: "If you want a successful marriage, let your husband do what he wants to do," he once said.

What seared me at the end of a troubling week is the public story line that it’s wonderful to keep trying to find a lifelong mate despite any evidence that the newlyweds have learned squat from past divorces.

Unless she's a brainless, Inflate-o Love Doll with no sense of self, taste, or personal hygiene, I sentence the happy couple to no less than two, and an absolute maximum of four, years.

Take a look at Rogers' body language in photographs of Limbaugh and herself; you could read her body tension as discomfort with the unfamiliarity of being a 'public person' and the focus of photographers. But when in that situation, the tendency would be to relax or lean closer to someone loved and yearned for; where you would feel safe. And -- sorry to harsh your extreme buzz, Rush -- I don't see that in Rogers' posture. Quite the opposite.

Blimp's End: 'Tucked In With A Spade' ; Or, A Large Crane

All I look forward to is seeing the Zeppelin's obituary in Little Rupert's papers ("Giant Of The Age Passes - And The World Mourns"). And (depending upon the language in the inevitable pre-nuptial she will have to sign), in my opinion, Rogers may be keeping that day in mind as she, uh, 'experiences' the connubial embrace of The Blimp. Over and over and over.

But, who cares? I'm much more interested in this.


  1. Ooooh... Wishing Limbaugh dead. Nice touch! I think that's so funny! And I'm sure you'll find it funny when I say I hope he lives one day longer than you. Now THAT'S funny!

  2. Dear Eric,

    That was very sensitively written. Thank You.