We're inaugurating a new category here at Before Nine, entitled Stuff Not Launched with Voyager 1.
You may recall (or not) that when the Pioneer and Voyager series of spacecraft were sent out to observe various planets in our Solar System (which isn't "ours", by the way), it was understood that they would eventually sail into deep space and just keep going until captured by Lrr of Omicron Persei 8, or something.
People at the Jet Propulsion Laboratory in Pasadena, California, though it might be nice to include a message to potential extraterrestrial civilizations which might encounter a Probe -- kind of an advertisement: A "Hello, We are Friendly And Can Be Contacted And Are Possibly Good To Enslave Or Eat" kind of thing.
Pioneer 10 Plaque: Religious Conservatives Criticized NASA As The Images Showed Human Genitalia (Photo: Wikipedia)
The tenth Pioneer probe, launched on March 2, 1972, carried a plaque designed by Carl Sagan and Frank Drake, picturing male and female humans and other graphic indications of who we are and how to find us (I've seen Alien and Starship Troopers and District 9 and the old "V" series, and presume time will tell as to how smart Frank and Carl actually were).
Five years later, the Voyager 1 probe was launched -- this time, Drake and Sagan had included an even more ambitious addition: A gold-plated disc (Stereo LP technology, because 1977 was a pre-iPod era, my friends) which contained recordings of music, spoken words and songs, and the a message of greetings, spoken in each language of the people of the Earth.
Unfortunately, the voice chosen to speak the English greeting was Kurt Waldheim, the Austrian then-UN Secretary General, and unindicted war criminal, though whether aliens will eventually appreciate the irony of this fact is uncertain.
There were also pictures of people smiling and beaches and puppies and flowers and colorful things. Pictograph instructions on how to access the images and the sound recordings were engraved on the face of the disc.
What wasn't included are things like this, or like this, or even things like this, which aliens will have to learn about on their own when they finally get here -- which also assumes we will still be here when they do, and the percentage chances that we will not appears to rise every day.
But, until then, let's all enjoy our Shiny New Blog Category.
Before Nine borrows freely from the panoply of images and writing that appear on the Intertubes. As a Dog, I can't really afford usage fees for some of this material -- however, I believe it's not only fair but important to be recognized for your work.
As a result, with images, Before Nine will provide attributions for the photographer and or news agencies who distributed them, where possible (However, at times even the most diligent search of Blogtopia does not yield this information). The same for excerpts of written material, where the names of authors will be listed, and links provided.
If you feel that there has somehow been unfair use of your photograph(s) or writing; or, if you're just thin-skinned and have hurt Fee-Fees that an awful anonymous Blogger (and masquerading as a Dog!) has been mean to you, we'll be happy to consider your Request / Veiled Sociopathic Threat to remove them, and not use additional material of yours in future.
If I'm not happy about it, I'll bite you and pee on your leg.
WHAT'S IN HERE
Ingredients: ALL NATURAL Water, glycerin, behenyl alcohol, cetyl alcohol, barely legal minimum age Butosylmonal (or any available) alcohol; vodka, silica; full spousal support alimony glutosides, penyl trimethicone, niacinamide, Regis Philbicide, duck-o-lyne, potassium cetyl phosphate, retinyl palmitate, Rheinish Palitinate, Thurn-und-Taxis palmitoyl tripeptide-3, beta-glucan, sodium hyaluronate, arginine, The White Album, Bungchau Offal bark extract; JoyJoy Esther Williams squeezings, butyrospermum Here Comes Sparky!; coffee, Gung-Ho seed, HOO-AHH Big Powder, Intubular glucosyl membrane fixative (now with 63% more Love), WD-45 hydroxyethyl acryloyldimethyl tautaurate copolymer FETANG ANG ANG ANG; Paraffin, generous helpings; empathetic understanding; small animal residue (tetramethyl hydroxy-piperdino); hexylene glycol, phenoxyethanol, chlorphenesin, caprylyl glycol, mica (ci 77019), titanium dioxide (ci 77891), choice sweepings; NAR NAR NAR and the full faith and credit of the government of the United States of America and Long May She Wave; with a twist of lemon, please.
Make absolutely certain your sense of humor is fully engaged prior to using Before Nine. I am not responsible for your level of consciousness or documented ability to subjectively perceive stuff. Got that? Swell. Comfy now? Want a treat? A Juice Box? A cigarette? Well okay then.
Some of us who write stuff just can't leave it alone. As a result, text sections which have been altered or added after initial posting will be highlighted in red, so the whole world will know. So glad we got that clear. Nu?