Tuesday, May 1, 2012

's A Fair Cop

No One Could Have Foreseen

Little Rupert, Allegedly Off To Club Baby Seals (Photo: AP; Alteration, Mongo)

Apparently, A British Parliamentary Commission has concluded (in a 6-4 vote split between a pack of inbred Tory Toffs and Honest Labor) that Little Rupert Murdoch is an Oligarch who wanted more power and money and injections with 'extract of monkey glands'; that his son, Jimmy The Fish, in a desperate bid to obtain his father's love (and succeed him as Big Leader of News Corp, and inherit the lion's share of Daddy's estate), tried to be as ruthless and Schlau as his Ol' Digger Daddy and failed; and that Rupert's business model would have put a smile on the face of the charred corpse of Little Joey Goebbels, Rupert's role model.

Alan Cowell And John F. Burns / New York Times / LONDON — "In a damning report after months of investigation into the hacking scandal at Rupert Murdoch’s newspapers, a British parliamentary panel concluded on Tuesday that Mr. Murdoch was “not a fit person” to run a huge international company."
On the basis of the facts and evidence before the committee, we conclude that, if at all relevant times Rupert Murdoch did not take steps to become fully informed about phone hacking, he turned a blind eye and exhibited willful blindness to what was going on in his companies and publications...

This culture, we consider, permeated from the top throughout the organization and speaks volumes about the lack of effective corporate governance at News Corporation and News International...

We conclude, therefore, that Rupert Murdoch is not a fit person to exercise the stewardship of a major international company.
The NYT noted, "In a statement from its New York headquarters, News Corporation said it was 'carefully reviewing the select committee’s report and will respond shortly' ", possibly by invading Poland, or giving Little Glenn Beck his job back -- because giving the world more lies and manipulation is a business model that has worked so well for Little Rupert. Until now, maybe.
Think of it this way: Little Rupert Murdoch is an essentially stupid man, who has pumped nothing but sewage into the eyes and ears of people around the world simply to make a profit -- in that, he's no different than a pimp who puts girls on the street he knows are HIV-positive because there's money in it for him.


  1. Your photo alteration is well done. But I feel inclined to quibble about your description of Little Rupert: how can one who became a self-made Oligarch be "essentially stupid"? He has succeeded in his aims; whether he should have had different aims is a moral question, not an intellectual one.

  2. Well... anyone who is hobbled morally cannot -- in my own small view -- assert intellectual prowess. That the two may not be conjoined, not halves of a similar coin, but operating each independent of the other.

    To follow the drunken weaving in this course of argument allows me to denigrate Little Rupert without admitting that he might possess a high-functioning, even erudite, intellect, while his spiritual compass may be all but negligible. I wouldn't want this guy's Karmic wad; I have enough trouble with my own, thank you.

    I freely admit all this may not be provable, or even true (I mean, whaddya want? I'm a Dog, for god's sake). But, to use a time-honored, Fox-Newsy trick, I appeal to the reader's emotions: "It just *feels* true".

    In that, I may be no more honest than Little Rupert. But my aim is true and my cause is just. Maybe. Possibly.

    But, think about it. Holy *fuck*: You really *want* to call the likes of "Dick" Cheney, Reinhard Heydrich; Condo Rice, Alfred Eichmann; the team who designed laser-guided 'smart' munitions; the people who wrote "Cop Rock"; the girl in the taco commercial; and whoever coined the phrase, "At the end of the day--"... as conceivably being highly intelligent?

    Where's the fun in that?

  3. Which taco commercial are you referring to?

  4. All that... and all you can ask after is the Taco Commercial?

    It's an obscure film reference: Billy Crystal, teaching his creative writing class in "Throw Mama From The Train", is reading a list of chapter headings from the (cough) manuscript of Mr. Pinsky -- all of which are various girls, including "The girl in the taco commercial".

    CRYSTAL: Mr. Pinsky -- what is the connection between literature, and a list of girls you'd like to have sex with?

    PINSKY: Well, it's my fantasy; like Melville. It's my 'White Whale'.

    MRS. HAZELTINE: It's whacking material.

    PINSKY: Isn't that -- literature?

    How does the girl in the taco commercial relate to a list of morally bankrupt individuals, who may or may not be intelligent? Comic relief.


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