Sunday, September 30, 2012

Predictive Debate Prediction

Come In Number 51, Your Time Is Up

This may be a stretch for some to recall (that's not a snide remark, but the truth), but remember the three presidential debates in the runup to the 2004 election, between "Lil' Boots" Bush and Sen. John Kerry?

Remember the T-shaped "mystery bulge" of something worn between Bush's shoulder blades, seen beneath his suitcoat? And how the Rethug camp denied and swore and laughed derisively at suggestions it was a wireless receiver, transmitting signals to a small earplug, allowing a team of Bush's handlers to tell that pathetic little man what to say -- so that he appeared commanding, virile, and bigger than his Daddy before all America? 

Randy Preibus says Mitzy is a skilled debater. In fact, under stress in the Rethug primary debates, he didn't appear to be that fast on his feet. Even when not under stress, he says silly, silly things.

I predict Mitzy will be lightly dosed with Benzodiazopan and wired up like something out of Mission: Impossible.  If only the signals broadcast to Mitzy could be intercepted, and replaced with, uh, other things.
LITTLE JIMMY LEHRER: Governor, this question is for you: Do you really see forty-seven per cent of the American public -- whether they vote or not is immaterial -- do you really see them as people who take no responsibility for their lives, and don't matter?

In Mitzy's Ear: GLAD I said that -- Glad! they're lazy, stupid and they smell!

MITZY: Jim, I'm glad I said that; I mean, I'm glad you said that; I didn't say that. Well -- I said it, but I didn't mean what was reported in the media that I said. I smell all Americans; not just the stupid ones --

In Mitzy's Ear: I love animal Americans.

MITZY: -- and American animals. I like animals, very much. But I didn't mean what was reported. I'm sorry; I'm having a little difficulty with the question.

LEHRER: But, Governor, it was a cellphone video. You did make those remarks.

Voice In Mitzy's Ear: God, that lady in the front row is hot. She's so hot. Yeah. Really hot.

MITZY:Well... it's -- it's a hot girl; ah, topic -- Jim. But it's a difficult, touchy, hot touchy thing, and as I said before, I didn't state it very elegantly.

In Mitzy's Ear: [ Pink Floyd, playing "Careful With That Axe, Eugene"]

The possibilities are endless.


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