Monday, October 17, 2016

I Lived The Whole Within, And Believed That I Was Free

Sleeping Now, And Dreaming

(Photo By Machine)

We Didn't Make This Part Up
(Stuff in Red is true and happening! in an alternate Universe. Or, you know, not. Trust us.)

Many Americans are With The Giant Meteor. In fact, The Giant Meteor (at 13%) is doing better in a double-blind, America's Home Kitchen Taste-Test poll than Herr Trump (12.7%) [US News And World Report]

Two Of Your Four Jobs Pays For NFL Action

With broadband now classified like a utility, telecom and tech companies, including Sprint, Comcast and Facebook, are increasingly working to make high-speed internet accessible to every American, not just a luxury. The companies are among those that have set their sights on bringing free or cheap high-speed internet service to low-income and rural populations in the United States, spurred by ... the hope of turning Americans who are not online today into full-paying customers in the future, when they may pay a goodly chunk of their hourly wages to these public-spirited corporations in exchange for viewing fantasies of lives they and their children will never be able to lead. ... (NYT)

Not Amused

...Helen Worth, who plays Gail Rodwell in a soap on Britain's ITV, appeared to mistakenly reveal that Ken Barlow, played by William Roache, suffers a stroke in an upcoming episode. The world mourns, and reportedly Her Majesty The Queen is "upset".  (UK Sun. Do not ask us what any of this means, but in The Land Of The Brexit and the Banger, it's a deal.)

Trump Says Potato, Pence Says Tuber

Republican leaders are fighting Donald J. Trump’s allegation that the news media and the Democratic Party and a Ford-sized Wombat are conspiring to commit election fraud. Mr. Trump’s running mate, Gov. Mike Pence, said Mr. Trump would “absolutely accept whatever the Wombat wants.”... (CNN)

My Sweet, Funny, Wonderful Mother

... For some voters, Mrs. Clinton’s harsh remarks about some women who had been sexually involved with her husband, and the thought of Mr. Clinton back in the White House, are loathsome. Mr. Trump stoked that discomfort last week by publicly appearing with several women who had accused Mr. Clinton of misconduct and by bringing them to the second presidential debate. Their appearance apparently did not faze the front-ruiner, Hillary Clinton, who stepped from behind the podium and reportedly barked, "Yahhhhh, bitches!!  Yaahhhhh, bitches!! Who's gonna be President now, hah? Hah??? Wanna get audited?? Wanna go to Guantanamo??" ... (NYT)

' M'eye Talkin' To You? Where's The Money? '

Mrs. Clinton has refused to comment publicly on the Giant Meteor, though she reportedly has said things to Goldman-Sachs in exchange for a big pile of money. (Cheese Star)

I Cast My Vote Upon The Waters

There are 15 states with new voting laws that have never before been used during a presidential election, according to a report by the Brennan Center for Justice. These laws include restrictions like voter ID requirements, limits on early voting, forcing some voters to impersonate Aaron Burr, sing all major songs from Oklahoma! or The Fantastiks!, and complete all fabled Tests Of Strength from Sinefeld's 'Festivus' before they may considered worthy to cast a ballot. 

 Many are making their way through the courts, which have already called a halt to two laws in the past month as "silly" — one in North Carolina specifying that voters may only cast ballots while nude; one in North Dakota which makes it illegal to bring Lutefisk within 5.3 statute miles of any polling station.  Meanwhile, in the People's Fun Republic Of Berkeley, no one who has been Friended on 'FaceBuch' less than 10,000 times will be permitted to vote, and Dogs will be allowed to cast ballots for the first time. (ProPublica)

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