Tuesday, March 23, 2010

Buh-Bye


Up In The Sky; It's A Bird; It's A Blimp... (Photo: Corbis)

A while ago, Lard Boy said he would leave the country if Health Care reform legislation were to be made law.

I'll tell you one thing -- if [the healthcare reform bill] passes... and all this stuff gets implemented, I am leaving the country. I'll go to Costa Rica.

Sayonara, you fat, repulsive, bigoted, talentless, closet ped-- What; he's not gone?



Well; nu? You actually expected he would? But, fear not -- two enterprising kids from Brooklyn are asking for your support via the Net to purchase a one-way, first-class ticket to sail the Blimp directly to America's unrecognized 51st State... And they've raised $2,000, so far.

Salon reports that Blubber, The One-Trick Sloth, is currently attempting to unload his "Liberace-museum-inspired Manhattan apartment". Purchased under the name of the 'RH Trust'(Moby Dick's middle name is 'Hudson') in 1994 for a reported $20 Million, it's filled with hand-painted murals and delicate, acid-treated wood detailing. There's also a private pharmaceutical safe (okay; I made that up).


$13.95 Million... And It Still Looks Like The Hangar-
Sized Digs Of A Drag Queen Who Won The Lottery

While the Two Lads From Brooklyn's offer doesn't include free Hillbilly Heroin, it is an opportunity to go to a Caribbean island and assist their local economy by hiring disadvantaged teenaged boys for, uh, casual labor. You'd think that Rushbo would be all over that kind of freebie like a crab-handed Chickenhawker with a facelift, cruising Sunset Boulevard on a Saturday night. Right?

Well, who knows. We can dream. In the meantime, the donations to buy Lard Boy's farewell ticket have been pledged to go to a good cause -- as Salon's Mary Elizabeth Williams noted, "one Limbaugh recently described as 'giddy because of all the new abortions there are going to be' under healthcare reform: Planned Parenthood."


Saturday, March 20, 2010

Report: Tea Party Protesters Scream 'N_____' At Black Congressman



If you haven't heard, there is a vote scheduled on Health Care Reform legislation in the House this weekend.

You can read about it here, but a relatively small crowd of Tea Baggers charged up to Capitol Hill and began shouting at various Democratic members of Congress as they appeared.

As reported by the McClatchy news organization, Demonstrators outside the Capitol, angry over the proposed health care bill, shouted "nigger" Saturday at U.S. Rep. John Lewis, a Georgia congressman and civil rights icon who was nearly beaten to death during an Alabama march in the 1960s...


Having Their Moment In The Sun: Remember, The Fire Next Time

Rep. Emanuel Cleaver, D-Mo., said ... "It was a chorus ... In a way, I feel sorry for those people who are doing this nasty stuff - they're being whipped up.."

...Protestors also ... confronted Rep. Barney Frank, D-Mass., an openly gay member of Congress. A writer for Huffington Post said the crowd called Frank a "faggot."


I remember a line from the 1988 film, "Mississippi Burning", where the Southern FBI agent, played by Gene Hackman, tries to tell the Northern-Intellectual-Liberal FBI agent, played by Willem Dafoe, what kind of person engages in this kind of behavior, and why:

You know, when I was a little boy; there was an old Negro farmer, lived down the road from us, name of Monroe.

And he was... Well, I guess he was just a little luckier than my daddy was. He bought himself a mule. That was a big deal around that town. My daddy hated that mule. His friends kidded him that they saw Monroe ploughin' with his new mule... and Monroe was gonna rent another field now that he had a mule.

One morning, that mule just showed up dead. They poisoned the water. After that, there was never any mention about that mule around my daddy.

One time we were drivin' past Monroe's place and we saw it was empty. He'd just packed up and left, I guess -- gone up North or somethin'. I looked over at my daddy's face ... and I knew he'd done it. And he saw that I knew.



A Play On Words That Gives 'Transparency' A New Definition

He was ashamed; I guess he was ashamed. He looked at me and he said, 'Son -- if you ain't better than a nigger, who are you better than?' [He was] so full of hate ... that he didn't know that bein' poor was what was killin' him.

Well; I'm sure Fox will spin the story to make it look like Congressman Cleaver, and Barney The Bankster's Buddy, forced the Teabaggers to label them as something less than human.


Too Dumb To Know His Own Stupidity Is Killing The Country


Too Much Time On My Hands

Just an idle thought: Little People = Screwed; Those With, Get More.

You know the drill.


Wednesday, March 17, 2010

Bitte; Schiessen Sie Mich

You Won't Hear This Discussed On 'Charlie Rose'



In college, someone once handed me a small glass of milk. I put it in my coffee. It wasn't bad. Then, they told me that they'd gotten it by milking a dog, which had been nursing puppies.

You know this shtick. Idiot screenwriters have built entire films around it: Lets-Get-This-Guy-To-[Fill In The Blank], Then Tell-Him-What's-Really-Happening, afterwards... Because witnessing that moment of dawning awareness, when their hand goes into the bag and touches the dead rat or fresh animal dung, really is the point, isn't it?



Well, I wasn't that upset. I finished my coffee. I am a Dog, after all. And, it was very good coffee.

But, this? This freaks me out, man. I mean, you can do this; and you could make cheese out of dog's milk, too -- though I wouldn't vouch for its quality when stacked up against even Safeway, vat-created, mass-processed "Monterey Jack" cheese.

Then, there's the question of methodology: How many dogs would you have to milk in order to obtain enough to actually make the cheese? And, how many breasts... well, you get the idea.

Man; that's Psycho Cheese, Qu'est Que C'est? / Fa fa fa fa / fa fa fa fa / better / Run run run run run run / run away...


Janet Leigh Brie: Don't Eat It In The Shower


Sunday, March 14, 2010

Someone Please Explain

...why is it, in the aftermath of The Crash and revelations of how much Lil' Boots and the Cheney Presidency had lied to the country; that millions of American citizens aren't in the streets -- demanding that Banksters and various Rightist types go to prison, and that reforms and laws are enacted to make it more difficult to ever happen again?

Why?

Is the nation as brain-dead as it was between January of 2001 and sometime in 2007? Does everyone just sit watching cable teevee, and eating almost-reasonably priced bags of heavily salted or sugared things?

(And, in honor of St. Patrick's Day: History is a nightmare from which I am trying to awake.
-- Stephen Deadlus; Ulysses, James Joyce)


Friday, March 12, 2010

Lehman Bros. = Fraud & Theft. Gosh; Who Knew?


Richard "Dick" Fuld Testifies Before Congress
(Photo: UK Telegraph October 6, 2008)

Anton R. Valukis is the Chairman of the accounting firm, Jenner & Block. His report to the U.S. District Bankruptcy Court in re: Petitioner: Lehman Brothers Holdings, Inc., Chapter 11 Bankruptcy has just been released (if you'd like to see it in all its .pdf glory, go here).

You may remember Lehman Brothers as the investment house which imploded during the week of September 11th - 16th, 2008 (otherwise knows as The Crash). The Bush administration refused to help bail Lehman out, and its resulting collapse brought down the curtain surrounding the shadow banking system -- a gigantic sewer, which many people had been able to smell (and complain about) for years, but relatively few wanted to see. And the effects of it all are still playing out.


Children Of The Downwardly Mobile: For Them, Sub-Standard
Education, Crowded Classes; Right-Wing Textbooks From Texas;
Parents With Three Or More Jobs; and Later, Few Job Prospects.

But back at the close of the good-for-the-rich, heady, 'go-go' Bush years, that third of the country, currently out of work, was still employed. People were still treating their homes like ATM's, and that little hiccup in some Bear-Stearns' hedge funds in '07, involving Mortgage-Backed CDO's... ahhh; that was nothing to get in a twist over. Right? Sure.



(Full disclosure: That day in mid-July, 2007, when Bear-Stearns' reported closing two CDO-based Hedge Funds, I took everything I had -- not much -- in the 401(k) at my Place Of Witless Labor™ [mostly, European stocks], and moved it all into a Bond Fund. The two B-S funds filed for Bankruptcy two weeks later, and the entire firm collapsed in the Spring of 2008.)

(Most people I know at work lost up to 40% of the value of their stock-fueled retirement accounts over the next two years [most in the period September, 2009 - January 2010]. They did nothing with their accounts since, and even with an upswing in the market have still lost approximately 25%. I kept my account in Bonds; and while it could be argued I've reduced my earning ability in the 401(k) have still limited my losses to 3%.)

Lehman's Chairman and CEO, Richard "Dick" Fuld, was a hyperaggressive, BSD - Master Of The Universe who (as the Jenner & Block report showed) engaged in the sort of behavior Primate specialists are familiar with: Grasping acquisitiveness; displays of extreme territoriality; and exceptionally poor judgment as a steward of other people's money -- but; hey; Dick made $466 Million dollars, personally, between 1993 and 2007.


Lehman Bros. Employees, Escorted Out The Door After Being Fired
In The Wake Of The Company's Collapse, September 13, 2008

In early 2009, Fuld was revealed to have sold his wife their jointly held $14 million, 3.3 acre Florida beach-front mansion (one of five houses the two of them owned, including their 8-bedroom main domicile in Greenwich, Connecticut). The nice touch was the selling price: One Hundred Dollars, "in a possible attempt," noted the British Times, "to move assets beyond the reach of infuriated investors of the collapsed bank."

Gosh. Just like Lil' Bernie Madoff and his wife, huh? Scumbags.


Mr. And Mrs. Dick, Having To Suffer The Criticism Of Code Pink
After Fuld's Public Lying Testimony To Congress in 2008,
Regarding The Fleecing Of Investors Lehman Collapse

Barry Ritholz's The Big Picture talks about the Bankruptcy report's lessons:

Major accounting firms are worthless to investors. They were either unable or unwilling to detect fraud amounting to 50 billion dollars. The incompetents at Ernst & Young deserve the same fiery death as Arthur Anderson; Whether they are hired guns or paid whores, they — like the rating agencies — are worthless to investors.

Corporate management engages in fraud all too regularly: Am I reading
[the Bankruptcy report] correctly — that Dick Fuld’s defense will be, “I didn’t know that Lehman was a giant Ponzi scheme, and I was unaware we were hiding billions in bad debt and leverage off the balance sheet?”


Teevee Wants You To Forget This Took Place. Just Keep Buying
Stuff, And You Will Not Want To Hang People From Lampposts

Based on the release of the bankruptcy court report, LEH was technically insolvent -- perhaps, years before it collapsed;
...

The SEC is utterly incapable of comprehending how markets function. They believe the criminals who commit the fraud, and ignore the whistleblowers who uncover it;



Obligatory Small Animal Photo In Middle Of Financial Rant

The Media did a terrible job uncovering the fraud as well. Some media folk were used by CEOs. Some of the TV press, who relied on access to their subjects, actually rallied to the defense of these CEOs (including Fuld), and trashed [their critics]. Most notably Charlie Gasparino from his CNBC days, but there were others as well.


Your Future Masters: Children Of Wealth Share A Happy Moment
At Their Private School -- Special Textbooks and Technology,
Organic-Produce Lunches And No Lack Of Funds.

The Analyst community, for the most part, failed as well. The few who publicly acknowledged the debacle were notable for being so far outside of the herd. 95% of them were wrong.


Thursday, March 11, 2010

Wearing Purple, Seeing Red

El Buffoono Grande Et Poco Pene



An effectively leaderless, color-coded protest against the Clown Putz of Europe, Prime Minister -- Silvio! -- Berlusconi, has been taking place in Italy since December of last year. In Georgia, it was the 'Orange Revolution'; in Thailand, the color of protest has been Yellow; and in Italy the color of Anti-Berlusconi is Purple -- and the protesters refer to themselves as 'Purple People'.


Erik Gandini's 2009 Documentary Concerning A Government
Run By A Corrupt Media Mogul; Who Could That Be?

Silvioland Italy -- That's the country where (you may recall) in 2008, a government dominated by Berlusconi’s own center-right party passed a law which insured him immunity from prosecution for any acts committed while in office.


Must Be Cool To Have Your Own Government.

This guy could have sex with Scooby-Do on the Great Altar in St. Peter's Basilica at the Vatican, and not even receive a parking ticket. He could beat someone to death in broad daylight on the Ponte Vecchio and have his bill for cleaning blood from his clothing paid by Italy's taxpayers.


Scooby-Do ia un cane! Egli è infedele, sbavando,furtivamente
e sleale degli animali che ha un impedimento di parola con la lettera R !


This didn't pass Italians, or their court system, unnoticed. In October, 2009, Italy’s highest court ruled that law unconstitutional. As a result, two trials that consider allegations of false accounting and bribery against Silvio! have been reopened.

Since the 'Stay Out Of Jail Free' law was declared unconstitutional, Berlusconi has reacted by publicly accusing various parties of holding “leftist biases" against him -- including Italy’s president, Giorgio Napoletano, the foreign and national press, left-leaning judges, and 'Scooby-Do' (Reggie was not named by the Premier Pene of Europe).


Obligatory Cute Animal Photo In Middle Of Political Thing.

In addition, Silvio!'s government is now trying to shorten the statute of limitations for certain crimes -- the very ones Silvio stands accused of breaking -- so that, if he can stay in office long enough, he could escape prosecution that way!

Hey; the stones on-a this guy, eh? Ha, ha ha; oh, that Silvio!



Suddenly, in December, small groups of people in Rome began wearing Purple clothing as a silent protest against the breadth and depth of their country being ruled by so obvious an Oligarch, and so obviously corrupt. These Grassroots protests swelled from small and silent to large and full-throated: Tens of thousands marched in Rome recently to show exactly what they though of the Clown King who has made a mockery of their country.


Tuesday, March 9, 2010

Sick

It Got Me.



It's not horrible, but in no way is this any fun.


Sunday, March 7, 2010

And The Winner Is

Christoph Waltz, Best Supporting Actor,
Inglorious Basterds



Waltz, Receiving The Best Supporting Actor Award

"... And this is your welcoming embrace and there's no way I can ever thank you enough, but I can start right now. Thank you."

From The Ubiquitous Wikipedia: Christoph Waltz studied acting at the Max Reinhardt Seminar in Vienna, and the Lee Strasberg Theatre and Film Institute in New York. He started as a stage actor, playing at venues like Zurich's Schauspielhaus Zürich, Vienna's Burgtheater, and the Salzburg Festival.

He became a prolific actor on
[German] television. In 2000, he directed his first film, the TV production, "Wenn man sich traut" ['If You Dare']. In Quentin Tarantino's 2009 film, Inglourious Basterds, Waltz portrayed Colonel Hans Landa; for this role, he received the Best Actor Award at the 2009 Cannes Film Festival.

Waltz is fluent in German, French and English, and speaks all three in Inglourious Basterds (Though he also spoke Italian in that film, he stated on a recent Podcast that he does not actually speak that language). He is divorced and has four children, one of whom is a Rabbi. He currently lives in London and Berlin.



Friday, March 5, 2010

Humanity Continues To Prove Itself Dumber Than A Bag Of Doorknobs

You're Accepting The Fact That Little Rupert Tells You Some Chick's Rack Is A Front-Page Story??


(Screencapture: London Times Online, Front Page, March 5, 2010)

Little Rupert Murdoch, the Joey Goebbels of international media, is a very old man with a tiny penis and lots of money (Okay; I'm not sure about the tiny penis part, but it would make sense, nicht wahr?). This story isn't actually about him, but may as well be.

Through his company, News Corporation, Little Rupert owns huge chunks of the major media markets in Britain and Australia. And, of course America, where Fox is the helpful propaganda arm of the American Right (including the GOP, though White Power Militias hear their message on occasion, too). It's also home to the lesser lights of that world, like O'Reilly, or Beck, or -- well, pretty much the entire Fox 'News' staff.



It's a fair point that whatever media Little Rupert has purchased, he's turned into a propaganda outlet for the Right, and lowered the reporting and content standards of whatever he's bought (a 2006 documentary, Outfoxed: Rupert Murdoch's War On Journalism, covers this in detail). The only newspaper exceptions were the Sun in Britain, and the New York Post, both of which had been one step above the 'National Enquirer' level before The Ruper nipped them.

Rupert feeds his readers and viewers with lowest-common denominator material (propaganda disguised as 'news and analysis', and entertainment that's little more than T & A). Where he doesn't do this entirely is in his two "business" newspapers, the London Times, and the newly-purchased Wall Street Journal -- Little Rupert hires solid writers and analysts for the finance sections, leaving Right-wing commentary on economic events in Britain or America to the editorial or "news" pages... but, both those papers had always been Right-leaning, so no one noticed.


NY Post: American Flags, And T&A: Rupert Thinks We're Idiots

The Ruper relies on a business model for mass sales of a product; the more you sell, the more money you make: Simple. But it also relies on the notion that the people who consume his products don't deserve anything better, are too stupid to understand anything else; or worse, should be told what to think.

It's also a fair point that media owners, past or present, have frequently treated their readers or viewers with condescension, or contempt. And, that they've influenced the editorial positions of their newspaper or teevee empires to match their own political beliefs.



In that, Little Rupert is no different... except that in 2010, seven corporations control the majority of the planet's television stations, cable outlets and newspapers; an unprecedented situation.

Little Rupert's News Corporation is the largest of these players. He reaches more humans with the content of his company's media than any other -- far more, when you consider most people in Europe and America watch content from multiple sources.

The funny twist in all this is that, in answer to many of his critics, Little Rupert's response could be summed up as Look, Mate; I'm just a businessman -- that he's really not a political propagandist. Or, he is ... but only because he decided there was a buck to be made pushing Rightist assholery, and to develop that market so that even more money could be made.


If Hitler were still alive, Little Rupert might very well
give him a 30-minute slot ("Sure, it's controversial, but
let's see what he does with it. Ya know, he Looks a little
like Walter Cronkite?")

Funny; that's the same logic and perspective as the BSD's on Wall Street, in explaining why they broke the country, and the international banking system, too: Just tryin' to make a living here, folks...


If Joey Goebbels Had Been Born Later, He'd Be Little Rupert --
Seen Here With Trophy Wife (Photo: BBC/Getty Images)

So, The Ruper owns the London Times. Founded on New Years' Day, 1785, it was considered the newspaper of England, embodying both the snobbery and presumed intellectual erudition of that nation's Upper Class. It's editorial line generally supported Tory (and later, Conservative) party positions.

At the same time, it's writers developed what was the international standard in journalism for generations -- many of it's conventions (personal advertising; crossword puzzles; the Sunday special edition) were adopted by competitors, and its masthead was as much a recognizable symbol of England as John Bull, Big Ben and the measured voices of BBC radio announcers reporting the Blitz.



In 1981, when the then-owners of the paper were suffering under debt and wage demands of a British Printers Union at the height of its power, Little Rupert was the only potential bidder with cash; he stepped in and scooped it up.

Aussies don't like those Pommy Bastards very much. The Limeys shoved their great-great-great grandfathers out to live with Funnel Spiders and 'Roos, then let their great-grandfathers die at the utter balls-up which was Galipoli. Buying a real, solid symbol of Great Britain like the Times must have been one, sweet moment for a crafty Digger like Little Rupert.


Princess Anne, Sister To Queen Elizabeth II, Reviews The Proud
Lads Of Australia's Swim Team In a 1980's Visit To God's Own Earth

The Times, in keeping up with technology, has an online presence which effectively mirrors the print version of the paper. Today's front-page story is a hard-hitting and penetrating story you can see in the first image of this post: It's about the nipples of Carla Bruni, First Lady of France, wife of French President Nicholas Sarkozi.

It seems that Ms. Bruni attended a State Dinner at the Elysee Palace this past Tuesday night; as Salon's Kate Harding reported,

Based on photos of Bruni in a form-fitting but full-coverage Roland Mouret gown ... Times writers Hannah Betts and Sarah Vine have (A) determined that she is not wearing a bra and (B) offered a helpful point-counterpoint on whether she should be slut-shamed for it.

And, Oh! the British can be counted upon to weigh in on such a moment, with an opinion steeped in equal parts Language Of The Bard and Churchill's brandy.

Our culture is obsessed with heaving, blancmangey cleavage [the Times article noted], but the erect nipple is a far more potent yet insouciant sexual signifier. The pert pap winningly protrudes between the sluttish and the demure: contained arousal, clothed incitement; an invitation more beguiling for being a whisper rather than a shout.

Oh, well done! Such brave and definitive British reportage; we particularly like the tonal play involved ("far more potent yet insouciant") -- all the more so because this is a piece allegedly written by a grown-up professional journalist, you see; and in the Times, no less. So, there's a certain frisson of irony gilding these lines. Clearly, the writer has presented us with one of the finest public displays of the fruits of a Third-place, Redbrick University degree. Bravo!

Well... There's a lot going on in the world which desperately needs to be reported on -- and reported accurately, free of the kind of political cant which Little Rupert likes to drizzle over whatever he buys.

If you want to bite into what Rupert has to sell, fine; don't blame anyone but yourself if it tastes like you're sucking Joseph Goebbels' underwear.

Humanity is desperate for fact and truth -- and all that the editors this pathetic old man owns can do is focus on a French woman's nipples, and claim that being able to see them is a focus for serious debate.