Ruh-Roh

One Minute And Thirty Seconds To Midnight

The NYT Reports that the United Nations' International Atomic Energy Agency (IAEA) has issued an eleven-page report after returning from a truncated tour of (some of) facilities in Iran tied to it's nuclear development program.

International nuclear inspectors reported on Friday that Iran was moving rapidly to produce nuclear fuel at a deep underground site that Israel and the United States have said is virtually invulnerable to attack.

The report by the International Atomic Energy Agency indicated that for the first time Iran had begun producing fuel inside the new facility in a mountain near the holy city of Qum. The agency’s inspectors found in their most recent visits that over the past three months Iran has tripled its production capacity for a type of fuel that is far closer to what is needed to make the core of a nuclear weapon.

The report about progress at the new facility is likely to inflame the debate over whether Iran is getting closer to what Israel’s defense minister, Ehud Barak, calls entering “zone of immunity.” The phrase refers to a vaguely-defined point beyond which Iran could potentially produce weapons fuel without fear of an air attack that could wipe out its facilities...

The 11-page report also described how Iran has refused, in two separate meetings with inspectors, to answer questions raised in the I.A.E.A.’s last report, issued in November, about experiments that could be linked to work on nuclear weapons. Inspectors were told they could not visit a military site called Parchin, where the inspectors suspect work was done on conventional explosives that can be used to trigger a warhead. “Iran stated that it was still not able to grant access to that site,” the report said....

The failure of the most recent visit by nuclear inspectors is likely to increase already heightened tensions after the assassination of nuclear scientists in Iran and suspected retaliation against Israeli diplomatic workers. Bellicose statements by officials from both countries have fueled speculation of a possible military strike by Israel against the Iranian nuclear facilities.

I give the whole thing three weeks at the outside before something happens and then everything gets really interesting, which are polite euphemisms for "air strikes", and "the possibility of a much wider international conflict with both unconventional and global dimensions".

And, the Pinhead Gallery, famous for having no foreign policy whatsoever a two-dimensional view of relations with other nations, weighs in:

...on CNN Thursday night, former New York Mayor Rudy Giuliani... casually [said] President Obama should threaten to “bomb” Iran to prevent the country from developing a nuclear weapon.

Obama has made the situation more complicated by being such a “weakling,” Giuliani said, including writing a secret letter to Ayatollah Ali Khamanei asking for a dialogue.

The president instead should be convincing Iran that he’s serious and capable of launching military strikes, which is the United States’ best chance to avoid actually carrying out a military mission, Giuliani said.

“(Obama) can’t say the words ‘bomb them,’” Giuliani said. “We need a president who can say the words ‘bomb them’ and actually can do it if he has to protect us from Iran becoming a nuclear power.”

Once the president convinces Iran that he will “bomb the hell out of them,” Giuliani said, things will change. “We are the largest military in the entire world, they are a small, tiny little military power compared to us.”

Or, as the 'Crazy Old Grandfather' character says in the remake of The Texas Chainsaw Massacre, "C'MON -- BRING IT !!"

I'm so old a Dog, I remember when The Mayor Of 9-11 was considered a Very Serious Candidate for the presidency. But,as well, too also we had President Cheney running the country then, and '"Lil' Boots" feeling puffed up and happy he was Bigger 'N His Daddy At Last. Good Times...

... and may we never have any like them again.

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Doubling Down

Iran's Government Pins 'Bomb Me' Signs To The Backs Of Their Beige Windbreakers

From Alan Cowell in The Paper Of Record This morning:

LONDON — As tension grew in its nuclear dispute with the West, Iran was reported on Tuesday to have struck an increasingly bellicose tone, warning that it would take pre-emptive action against perceived foes if it felt its national interests were threatened...

Without mentioning Israel directly, Mohammed Hejazi, the deputy armed forces head, said on Tuesday: “Our strategy now is that if we feel our enemies want to endanger Iran’s national interests, and want to decide to do that, we will act without waiting for their actions,” Reuters reported. Divisions in Iran’s leadership make it difficult to interpret the government’s intentions, but the statement showed a new level of aggressiveness in Iran’s rhetoric.

The statement came a day after a team from the International Atomic Energy Agency arrived in Tehran on Monday for the second time in three weeks...

The inspectors did ask on Monday to see a military complex outside Tehran that is a suspected secret weapons-making location, Iranian radio said, according to The A.P... As the I.A.E.A. delegation left its headquarters in Vienna late Sunday, its leader, Herman Nackaerts, said the delegation wished to investigate “the possible military dimensions” that Tehran insists the program does not have and that the inspectors’ previous visit did nothing to resolve.

International tension has been rising steadily, as Iran claims significant technological advances in uranium enrichment and threatens retaliation against countries that pursue sanctions against it, including a boycott of its oil.

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More Idiot Wind

Republicans' Transformation Into The Party Of Stupid Bad Crazy Nearly Complete

...and to prove it, reflect on this: Little Ricky Santorum is the front-runner in the Rethug Clown Show race to become the party's nominee against President Barack Obama in November. This should surprise no one.

So far, we've seen:

• Clueless Mitt, flip-flopping back and forth;
• Randyman Newt, who, if elected, could easily hand his wife divorce papers the second before the inauguration;
• Citizen Herman Cain, who can't recall any of the five or more women whom he may have groped or had long-standing affairs with;
• Le Governour Placard, Pastor Rick Perry, whose "I dunno" proved that he is in fact dumber than a bag of hammers;
• Ron Paul, who of course likes all people of color and believes a Giant United-Nations-Developed Radioactive Scorpion lives in his basement;
• Grand TurtleBear Bachmann, who pointed to signs that $2/gallon gasoline meant (somebody's) god would strike all gay people down, or force them into her husband's clinics, or something.

There was one adult in the room, John Huntsman -- but it was precisely because he appears to be an adult that no Rethug would listen to him. That isn't the direction the Republicans are headed. With a battle for control of the party between the Tea Partei / UN Black Helicopter / Evangelical Taliban on one hand, and Old Guard GOP Beltway Insiders on the other, He Who Has Risen is none other than Little Ricky, god's messenger in troubled times.

Sahil Kapur In today's TPM:

Climate change denial has become a litmus test for modern Republicans, but Rick Santorum, in his fondness for melding faith and government, has become one of the precious few to cite the Bible as evidence that the science-accepting crowd has it all wrong — and apparently the first to bring that thinking to the presidential stage.

“We were put on this Earth as creatures of God to have dominion over the Earth, to use it wisely and steward it wisely, but for our benefit not for the Earth’s benefit,” Santorum told a Colorado crowd earlier this month.

He went on to call climate change “an absolute travesty of scientific research that was motivated by those who, in my opinion, saw this as an opportunity to create a panic and a crisis for government to be able to step in and even more greatly control your life.”

The surging presidential hopeful fleshed out this argument further this Sunday on CBS Face The Nation, when asked to justify his recent controversial claim that President Obama has a “phony theology” that’s not “based on the Bible.” He said the President sides with “radical environmentalists” who don’t understand what God intended to be the relationship between humans and the planet.

“When you have a worldview that elevates the Earth above man and says that we can’t take those resources because we’re going to harm the Earth; by things that frankly are just not scientifically proven, for example, the politicization of the whole global warming debate — this is all an attempt to, you know, to centralize power and to give more power to the government,” Santorum said.

And the former Pennsylvania senator doubled down Monday, declaring that, “Unlike the Earth, we’re intelligent, and we can actually manage things.”

This is the level of candidacy for high public office in the United States. This is the level of public debate. This is the caliber of person who wants to speak for America.

Small wonder so many Rethugs polled choose "Somebody Else" when asked who they favor as their candidate for President.

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War Games

And Only One Winning Move



At a guess, late one night within in the next three weeks, we'll be ready to shut off Conan O'Brien when it's possible that normal broadcasting of Teevee networks may be interrupted with news that Israel (and, possibly, the good old Eusa) has hit Iran with nearly everything but the kitchen sink. Initial targets would be the Iranian air force on the ground, Revolutionary Guard command, control and communication (The Three Cees) facilities, Antiaircraft and antiship missile positions; and (aber natürlich), the four known major centers of their nuclear development effort.

(It's also possible that you could first hear the news of an Iranian attack on an oil tanker or American aircraft carrier in the Persian Gulf, or some incident near the straits of Hormuz that results in casualties aboard a U.S. Navy vessel. No matter; the end result would be Iran, lit up like an Exmass Tree.)

By the time you heard reports of an all-out attack, the initial strikes would have been completed and the Iranians moving to execute counterstrikes against U.S. and Israeli targets. No one really knows what the reaction of other, regional and global players -- Russia, China; India, Pakistan; and the rest of the Middle East -- would be.

And by then, all bets will be off; we will truly enter Alice-Through-The-Looking-Glass, unknown territory: Beyond Here There Be Tygers.

Why I feel this is a likely possibility has been the steady drumbeat of evants -- sanctions, and more bellicose statements by the Iranian government; the assassination of another Iranian scientist in Teheran in mid-January; the attack on Israeli defense ministry officials and family members in India and Georgia, and the Israeli statement that it blames Iran (followed by the expected denials); the report of 'Iranians' and explosions at a rented house in Bangkok; claims of Hezbollah planning to attack Western targets (followed by the expected denials).

(I've already chronicled a previous timeline of events here, if you're curious -- or, you know, not.)

I've also noticed an increase in articles on web versions of newspapers or cable news organizations about Iran: Short, even 'filler', never front-page material but consistently playing on themes of Iran's leaders as aggressive, deluded and nonsensical; never know what they'll do next; and they want The Bomb ... and I feel that I haven't ever seen so many of these articles, so consistently -- even last summer, when many observers were convinced, then, that it was likely Israel would hit Iran any minute.

Today, as a result of economic and trade sanctions against the Iranian government, it announced that it was preparing to cut oil shipments to some European countries -- at the same time claiming it wishes to 'negotiate' about the status of its nuclear program.

It's been argued that the attacks on IDF members outside Israel were false-flag operations -- I doubt that; the evidence against the Iranian government and the creature they created, Hezbollah, is damning. However, my gut sense is that the fact the attacks have occurred may reduce or remove opposition to Benjamin Netanyahu and hard-liners in the Israeli cabinet who want to kill the snake in its nest, right now. It's just something indefinable, in the air, that I'm sensing. But I feel the Israeli government has consensus and has made its decision.

And it may be that the only thing preventing them from executing that decision (as it has been for some time, I think) is American reluctance to go 'all in' with our Middle Eastern ally. The recent long article ("Will Israel Attack Iran?") by Ronen Bergman in The New York Times' Sunday magazine section noted that whether or not the Israeli government had U.S. support -- intelligence, logistics; military and political -- will be a critical factor in Israel's decision to attack.

There may come a time that, with or without America's blessing and support, the Israeli government feels it has no choice. When you're surrounded by countries full of people determined to wipe you from the face of the earth, there's no incentive to wait for one of them to go nuclear. Bennie and his hard-liners might call President Obama as attacks are under way, saying You have to go all in with us now. Think how it will look in November if you abandon Israel in her hour of greatest need. You want that on your conscience?

And, realistically; who would?

Well, we'll see. I truly hope I'm wrong about this, but remember -- if it does occur, all bets about the future will be off, for real.

The GBU-28/BLU-113 Hard Target Penetrator is now a standard weapon in USAF service. In the months following the Gulf War, the USAF completed the testing process, TI developed and certified proper software for the seeker, and a substantial stock of warheads was built up. Carried initially by the F-111F prior to its premature retirement, and now by the F-15E, the Bunker Buster can be called upon to do its task at any time. It is indeed an excellent conventional deterrent weapon, as it can crack targets which otherwise would require a surface burst nuclear warhead to take out.

Iraq, Iran, Libya and North Korea have been reported in recent years to be expending much effort in digging themselves even deeper underground, producing a boom in world sales of tunnelling equipment. Given the proven performance of the GBU-28, they should probably keep digging !

More recently, Northrop have commenced flight testing of the GBU-37 GAM-113 (formerly BLU-113/GAM), a GPS guided weapon which uses the GBU-28’s BLU-113 warhead and a modified Northrop GAM tailkit to produce a wholly autonomous all weather bunker busting weapon for use by the B-2A....

Virtually undetectable, a Northrop B-2A dropping these weapons could paralyse an opponent’s hardened C3 system with total surprise. A single B-2A can carry up to eight rounds on its internal rotary weapons launcher. The almost undetectable APQ-181 Attack Radar and GPS aided GAM/GATS targeting system provide a true all weather around the clock precision capability.

-- From Australia Air Power, "The GBU-28 Bunker Buster"

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MEHR:... and the top article in this morning's online Paper Of Record is, "Aggressive Acts by Iran Signal Pressure on Its Leadership... A flurry of actions and statements by Iran this week suggest its leaders are responding frantically, and more unpredictably, to the tightening of sanctions."

My take on the story is that the Iranians are fragmented but far from stupid, and while they're willing to lash out at Israel in copycat-style attacks on IDF personnel in Georgia and India, using tactics ascribed to Israeli intelligence in the assassination of Iranian physicists (a message in itself), it doesn't mean they're insane -- at least, not enough to provoke a full-scale assault of their country.

Iran's government excells at escalating situations, and then suddenly appearing conciliatory, reasonable. That style of brinksmanship has worked well for Kim Jong Ill's North Korea, but the Iranians have used it so often as an apparent stalling tactic with the UN and IAEA investigators that it's damaged their credibility: No one wants to trust an angry drunk when they suddenly become genial and ask for the car keys.

As investigators unearthed new evidence implicating Iran in the attacks this week in Thailand, India and Georgia, President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad of Iran announced Wednesday what he said was his country’s latest nuclear advance, and Iran’s Oil Ministry threatened to pre-empt a European oil embargo by cutting off sales to six countries there.

“These are all facets of the same message,” said Muhammad Sahimi, an analyst and professor at the University of Southern California. “Iran is saying, ‘If you hit us, we will hit back, and we are not going to sacrifice our nuclear program.’ ”...

Karim Sadjadpour, an Iran expert at the Carnegie Endowment for International Peace, said the belligerent moves by Iran actually underscored weakness.

“If there’s a meta-narrative here, it’s that Iran tends to speak loudly but carries a small stick,” Mr. Sadjadpour said. “Their alleged terror attacks projected incompetence more than fear, their announced nuclear progress is likely exaggerated, and their threat to pre-emptively cease oil exports to Europe turned out to be another bluff.” ...

The latest developments suggested to some analysts that Iran’s supreme leader, Ayatollah Ali Khamenei, was deliberately lashing out at the West, though it was not clear whether his intention was simply to retaliate or to provoke a limited war with Israel. Some Iranian hard-liners are said to believe that such a war would benefit them, allowing them to close ranks and assert greater authority for the elite Revolutionary Guards.

“I think this is Iran’s way of saying, ‘Look out, we can reach out and touch you,’ ” said Mehrzad Boroujerdi, a professor of Middle East Studies at Syracuse University. “But I doubt that Khamenei wants to go all the way to a serious armed confrontation.”

So, perhaps not all the way to War Games. At least, not yet.

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Greece -- The Tragedy; Season 5

Meanwhile, In Downtown Europe


Happy Greeks Enthusiastically Embrace Austerity To Assist
Their European Allies By Vowing To Live On Dog Food For
The Next Ten Years (Photo: Guardian UK / Milos Bicanski)

The Guardian UK:

Greece enacted billions of euros in spending cuts and fresh austerity measures last night in a volatile parliamentary vote aimed at avoiding default on its national debt and keeping the eurozone intact, despite some of the worst rioting and political violence witnessed in the country in years.

More than 40 buildings were set ablaze in an orgy of looting that left scores injured as protesters vented their anger at the caretaker government and parliament's ordering of a further €3.3bn of savings by slashing wages and pensions and laying off public sector workers.

In return, Greece is to receive a second eurozone bailout in two years worth €130bn in addition to a €100bn writedown of debt by the bankrupt country's private creditors.

There was turmoil inside the parliament, too. MPs voted 199-74 in favour of the cutbacks, despite strong dissent among the two main coalition members.

A total of 37 politicians from the majority Socialists and conservative New Democracy party either voted against the party line or abstained. A further six voted against sections of the legislation. After the vote, the government announced that those 43 MPs had been expelled.

In case you haven't been paying attention (or believe that what happens elsewhere doesn't affect you), the European Central Bank / International Monetary Fund bailout of the current Greek government is important, and you may want to keep these points in mind:

• The "assistance" gives the Greeks money to prevent default on the redemption of bonds, due on March 20th; not being able to do so would cause the Greek economy to implode (sooner than it will, that is);
• The loan package and debt restructuring makes sure the creditors (primarily major European banks) holding those bonds are paid enough -- some of these banks are Zombies, only kept alive and solvent by the constant motion of money, as in a check-kiting scheme. Without timely payment on these Greek bonds of enough Euros to keep everything in balance, the cash flow would be interrupted, the Zombie banks could suddenly assume full-on Walking Dead Status and default on counterparty obligations, which would Be Bad;
• The "assistance" to Greece came with a price -- including cutting over 100,000 public sector jobs in the next four years; selling state-owned electric, natural gas and other monopoly businesses to the highest bidders (Look Out! Here Come The Oligarchs!); and slashing government pensions by up to 40%.

And all of this demand for Austerity is just so that Greece will receive a bridge loan to ensure it will not default and affect European banks.

It does not solve Greece's overall deficit and debt problems. More loans and ECB/IMF financing will be needed for that -- and in order for Greece to receive that future assistance, Little Angela and the Austerians are saying that Greece will need to cut public financing and expenditures even more.


Greece's Finance Minister Evangelos Venizelos, One Of The
Largest Humans On Earth, Spots Christine Lagarde Of The IMF
At EU Headquarters In Brussels On Thursday. He Seems Hungry.
(Photo: National Post, Canada; Yves Herman / Reuters)

In this latest round of Voting To Impoverish Your People, I particularly liked the part where members of Greece's parliament who voted against accepting the ECB/IMF's financing terms were thrown out of their political parties. And in Brussels on Thursday, IMF Director Christina Legarde stepped from a BMW limousine to speak briefly to the press in her new red coat and black, two-inch-heel Pradas; so comfortable and fashionable. I'm sure the sight of her quiet luxury inspires Greece's children to want to grow up and be just like her.

But, the EU leaders who believe in Austerity don't see the previous weeks of turmoil around Greece as being about a band-aid for Europe's banks. This is about the survival of the Eurozone and the political entity of the European Union -- to people like Angela Merkel, Finance is the force behind the ideals, but it all seems to come down to money in the end. And unfortunately, at this point the world's financiers are not at all trustworthy.

And, please note that the Zombie banks are still at risk of failing from any event that could interrupt the necessary flow of money; they're balanced that precariously. Any default, any failure on the part of another bank to pay might cause one of them to fail. All this is widely understood if not acknowledged; one reason the results of 'Stress Tests' of European banks last year were greeted with skepticism.

But, this isn't over, just in case you were wondering. "Greek Crisis", Season 6, will start again in the near future -- and expect the Greeks to greet it in the same spirit of cooperation and sacrifice which we've seen on Teevee this weekend.

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So Good

Banksters Win Again

So, a "settlement" has been reached between major banks and Attorneys Generals of 49 states over charges of outright fraud in illegal foreclosures.

For having fabricated millions of purportedly legal documents to support foreclosing on millions of mortgage loans in America (a criminal act; something you or I would be indicted for and arrested in a heartbeat), and no one responsible goes to jail. The banks will collectively pay $25 Billion dollars. The total of all mortgages in the United States either in forclosure, delinquent, or whose owners are 'underwater', is estimated to be $700 Billion.

The bulk of the settlement, about $20 billion, would go to one million American homeowners [wrote Nelson Schwartz and Julie Creswell in the NYT] who would have their mortgage debts reduced or their loans refinanced at a lower interest rate. It also includes $1.5 billion for roughly 750,000 people who lost their homes to foreclosure between 2008 and 2011, with each receiving between $1,500 and $2,000.

And, the media is putting a positive spin on developments: Homeowners benefit! Well, some of them do; yeah! People are helped! Justice is served, kinda!

• The New York Times headline was, "Homeowners Get Bulk of the Benefits From Mortgage Plan (...Under the settlement, nearly two million Americans could benefit from mortgage relief from the nation’s biggest banks").
• The Los Angeles Times headline was, "Foreclosure deal to help 2 million with loan trouble (... The nation's five largest lenders will pay $25 billion to partially compensate those who lost their homes)".
• The Guardian UK wrote that "Obama Praises $25b Mortgage Deal (... Millions of people could have mortgage debt cut as America's top lenders agree deal over alleged abuses in housing market)".

“The effect of this settlement will be catalytic,” Shaun Donovan, the secretary of Housing and Urban Development, said in an interview.

He predicted it would spur more loan modifications through existing government programs as well as principal reductions — when loan debt is written down for borrowers who owe more than their home is worth — as well as additional mortgage relief provided by banks.

So, let's recap -- approximately one million homeowners will receive some relief through restructuring in their mortgages. Approximately 11 million households need their loans modified in order to keep from being forced out of their homes.

Approximately 750,000 people who were evicted, lost their property and in some cases hundreds of thousands of dollars; marriages, and jobs, could receive monetary compensation in the amount of ... between $1,500 and $2,000.

Fortunately, they don't waive any rights to file future legal action against their former mortgage lenders if they demand that two grand -- but is the compensation more than a token? Is it just? Or, an insult? It reminds me of the "compensation" offered by Austrian courts to the families of Holocaust survivors attempting to reclaim their lost art.

The banks, which were facing the possibility of criminal investigations and civil actions in at least 25 states, including California and New York -- will effectively not be further prosecuted by the Attorneys General of 49 states (Oklahoma would not join in) for their actions. They could be investigated and prosecuted for violations of Federal law... but what is the chance of that happening?

And, as HUD Secretary Donovan said to the NYT, the "settlement" would move the major banks to 'act better', provide further loan modifications and reductions in principal for affected Americans (the 11 million other mortgageholders facing foreclosure not assisted by this "settlement"). And the banks would do this, because they're just nice guys.

Remember? The Bush and Obama administrations gave them hundreds of billions of dollars. The expectation was that the money would spur the Nice Guys to lend money to small businesses, prime the pump to get the economy moving. The banks took the money, kept it, and used it (among other things) to provide themselves huge bonuses for their executives and board members. Why would they behave differently, give the Rubes they steal from public any assistance, now?

The banks precipitated a gigantic, global financial crisis -- which is far from being over. They forced millions of Americans from their homes, illegally. They disrupted and even destroyed lives. And unless the States' Attorneys General or the Department Of Justice go after them in force, the banks are effectively getting a Mulligan.

They walk, by ponying up a relatively small amount of cash -- which will simply become a tax write-off as a business expense. I understand that the "settlement"'s cheerleaders tout this as a first step, a move in the direction toward reforming the financial industry. But as one critic noted, the total is a "drop in the bucket". It smells like a band-aid for a dysfunctional system that still rules.

The amounts from individual banks were linked to their share of the servicing market. The biggest, Bank of America, would provide $11.8 billion, followed by $5.4 billion from Wells Fargo, $5.3 billion from JPMorgan Chase, $2.2 billion from Citigroup and $310 million from Ally. Bank of America would contribute an additional $1 billion for Federal Housing Administration loans.

And if nine other major mortgage servicers join the pact, a possibility that is now under discussion with the government, the total package could rise to $30 billion.

Banks stocks were mixed in trading Thursday, but shares of Bank of America rose 0.62 percent to $8.18, its highest level since September. Much of the money to pay for the settlement has already been reserved, and investors expect the settlement to remove at least one legal worry for Bank of America.

Ha Ha Ha Ha. Why not just say it? They won. Again. I'm not surprised at all.

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MEHR Mit Schweineri: The War Criminal Washington Post declared in it's usual tarted-up, Villager manner that the settlement was "rough justice — very rough — in a case of rampant, but essentially victimless, alleged law-breaking."

And, Avedon Carol weighs in from a different vantage point in the UK, courtesy of The Great Curmudgeon (paragraphing added for emphasis):

For a moment it seemed like there was good news when I saw this: "Schneiderman's Last-Minute Cancellation Spells Trouble for Foreclosure Fraud Settlement."

But then it seemed it was more like this: "49-State Foreclosure Fraud Settlement Will Be Finalized Thursday."

(And Jesus Christ, Ezra [Klein], why on earth is it good news that this deal will "help a lot in protecting banks from lawsuits"? These people stole people's homes, and you think a check for a couple of grand is some kind of compensation?

(If you get caught selling a lid of grass they confiscate every damn thing you have, but if you steal someone's house you just pay pocket change in compensation out of billions you made from cheating people? That's really nice for you - if you're a banker.

(But, you know, we don't need bankers like that! And we need to put those banksters in jail so they won't do it again - and doing more of it seems to be just what they have in mind, thanks to this deal.)

Avedon has more. Follow the links. Now.

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Hold The Mayo

Stuff Goin' On



The majority of Things going on these days aren't what I want to see happening: Syria, Egypt (still); the distinct possibility of war with Iran (did'ya know there will shortly be five aircraft carriers within striking range of the Gulf, and four Amphibious Assault Ships? Hah? Did'ya?); and, no matter how entertaining, the public transformation of the Republican Party into the Party Of Stupid Bad Crazy.

There's Russia's fictive 'democratic' government of Sad Vlad The Czar. And Yurp (as The Great Curmudgeon would say) continues to say ALL ABOARD THE FAILBOAT! HOOT HOOT!, which may result in a rapid deterioration of just about everything, and then we end up in Yurts watching our children play with toys made in China of radioactive animal dung and sold to us at an exorbitant mark-up.

But, there are good things, too. Such as, we haven't heard anything about the personal life crises of either Lindsay Lohan or Britney Spears in a good, long time. You don't know how grateful I am for that.

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Happy Birthday Boz

God Bless Us, Every One


Hand-Lettered Calling Card Of Charles Dickens, Short-Hand Writer (1835)

Today, we celebrate someone like Steve Jobs for being an innovative businessman, for bringing an "imaginative" take to the age-old proposition of selling goods and services. It's important, now, for 'imagination' to be practical, to have a commercial application.

However, Once upon a time, human cultures celebrated the storytellers, people who were able to move us with nothing but a story, which we could read and play out (in Steven King's phrase) "in the skull cinema", the gigantic stage of our own imaginations.

Charles Dickens (1812 - 1870) was one of these Tellers of Tales, and while he was masterful at self-promotion and the commercialism of Victorian England's publishing world, what he had to offer started with a pen on paper and the telling of a tale for its own sake.

We live in a Dickensian world, these days, whether we recognize it or not; a world where the milk of humankindness is present but obscured, and one where a Darwinian interpretation of society rages in full force.

There are Pickwicks and Tiny Tims around us; and Jarndyce v. Jarndyce litigation keeping families at each others' throats; there are secrets from the past, and Miss Havershams wasting away in 'Grey Haven'-style houses -- and there are plentiful Ebenezer Scrooges, with lumps of coal in place of their hearts; far too many of them.

There are Pips, and Bill Sykes-types, in our world (and Sykes' poor dog, Bingo). There are Micawbers and Dan Peggotys and Little Emilys, going off to a new life across the sea. There are Sydney Carltons changing places with Darnay, so that his unrequited love, Lucie, can be happy.

There are Fagins, and 'Monks', Creagles and Steerforths and Bumbles, Pecksniffs and Chuzzlewits, who believe that cruelty and an ignoble grasping for whatever they can lay their hands on, that acts crabbed by meanness and spiked by fear are the proper responses to living, and the world.

There are the Merrys and Cherrys, too, with their spoiled and ridiculous Paris Hilton-expectations of what they are entitled to. There are the Little Nells and orphans. There are those who believe in work-houses and prisons, who seem to believe that many should die and decrease the surplus population. And there are those who do far better things than they have ever done, and remember with tenderness their connections to the people in their past, and to Others. Dickens chronicled them all.

Objects sold in the marketplace, no matter how clean and sleek they appear, and no matter how much they "change the way we listen to music / communicate / work", they don't reconnect us with portraits of our Common humanity.

They're pretty, and efficient; but they don't remind us that we are born and, at some point unknown to us, have to die -- and that the story of the journey between those two fixed and immutable points is the important thing. Whether we were kind, or daft, or ignoble or courageous; whether we turned out to be the heroes of our own lives, or if that station was held by someone else.

Dickens reminded us of that, and on his 200th birthday it's worth taking the time to remember. Happy Birthday, 'Boz'.

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How Google Nearly Destroyed My Life

Brigmann Back On The Air

I'm not even going to waste time trying to describe it, but if you ever, ever have a problem with your Google account, then you are to be pitied. Truly, and forever, as though you had been cast into the descending, circular pit that Dante envisioned in his Purgatorio.

And, yes; I'm fully aware of the irony of broadcasting this on a Google-owned platform.

But, hey; good luck dealing with a faceless bureaucracy. And, in the words of Forrest Gump, that is all I have to say about that.

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Newt?

'My Plan Maintains Our Dignity'


Ethel -- That Thing's Standing Out On The Wing Again. And He Keeps
Looking At Us. (Courtesy of this little Tumblr thing, "Newt Judges You")

Today is Florida's Rethuglican primary, pitting Randyman™ against One Of America's Richest Politicians © -- and followed, of course, by the Harold Stassen (What? Oh, for pete's sake; look it up) of the Rethug world, Ron Paul, who will be handing out little black plastic UN helicopters to supporters -- which, due to his sensitivities around issues of race, Ron will refer to as "ebony".


Mitzy Thrills The Crowd With His "I Can Beat Obama" Face, Borrowed
From The 'Judge Doom' Character In "Who Framed Roger Rabbit"

And, all America™ is thrilled by the level of campaigning shown by the Rethug front-runners -- a sex addict, and a stiff, utterly clueless Wealthy Person.

Randyman is widely expected to have been outspent by America's Richest Politician ©, and Florida is sinking under the sheer weight of rhetoric showing Newt to be a Randyman, flip-flopping liberal crazy person who shot a man in Dallas just to watch him say, "Better watch what you do with that squirt gun, mister". Mitzy, on the other hand is saying I Am One Of You!! You Are One Of Mine!! I Paid For You -- I Own Youuuuu!! over and over, until led away by his handlers.

How many days is it until Iran gets attacked? And who in the name of anything held sacred in human history names their child "Newt"?

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