Big Lizard Longevity

The Chairman Of The Board Loves You.

Godzilla Inflation.  Click = Big (Original Image: Noger Chen, 2016)

The only thing more frightening than Godzilla are Godzilla's lawyers.
-- Paul Watson, Canadian Environmentalist

The only thing scarier than Godzilla is Godzilla's lawyers. Paul Watson
Read more at: http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/keywords/godzilla.html

The only thing scarier than Godzilla is Godzilla's lawyers. Paul Watson
Read more at: http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/keywords/godzilla.html

If you put all the Godzillas who ever were into one location, you'd probably be at the beach. The Big Guy, Chairman Of The Board, Best Giant Bipedal Lizard Ever, is fond of the ocean and gets testy when He's away from it too long. And, what if they all came out of the water at once?

From one of the fan sites that promote The Cult Of The Giant Bipedal Lizard comes a size comparison chart of Toho Studios' (owners of the Godzilla franchise) versions of The Big Guy.  We've cleaned it up a little, enhanced a few colors, and provided a handy date reference. All your favorite Big Lizards are there ... even the 1998 Roland Emerich version (it's the wimpy-looking 'zilla on the far right), widely seen as the embarrassment of the Godzilla 'family' and the main reason Hollywood wouldn't risk producing another Gorjirra movie for nearly two decades.

(The screaming children you can see running in terror are actors; the beach was provided by the City of Santa Monica; and no forms of life larger than a single-celled organism were harmed during the photo shoot -- though the party which followed got a little out of hand. A new bond measure by the State of California should take care of $68.4 million in damages, and the $13 million-dollar bar tab. The Big Guy has good lawyers. Heck, they have a Union!)

All this, as yet another Big Lizard makes its screen appearance -- 'Shin Godzilla' (or in English, Godzilla Resurgence) is being released this week, and is being touted as "the biggest Godzilla [height-wise] of them all".

 A New Gorjirra Looks For The Restrooms (Clicky = Big Big; Easy 'n Fun 4 U.)

There are two tracks in the Godzilla film universe: those made for a Japanese audience; and 'licensed' versions of The Giant Lizard made in Hollywood.  The 2014 Godzilla (go here and also here) was a Made-In-The-U.S. Big Guy.

The monster in 'Resurgence' was primarily made for a Japanese audience (all main characters are Japanese, and the action takes place in Japan), and follows the general track created by the films Toho made for 'home' audiences -- this Godzilla is "new" and doesn't relate to the one we saw performing urban renewal (incidental to eliminating two other monsters) in San Francisco in 2014.

I may see it, may not. Depends on what they're charging medium-sized white Dogs at the Megaplex cinemas these days, and what form of Treats they're selling.

He's There For You.

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Clinton Hailed Winner Of U.S. Presidential Debate

History

(Golden Gate, Minus Golden Gate. Click For Gingnormous Version: Easy. Fun.)

I didn't watch it. Y'all have fun, now. 

The truest characters of ignorance are vanity and pride and arrogance.
-- Samuel Butler

In the life of a man, his time is but a moment, his being an incessant flux, his sense a dim rushlight, his body a prey of worms, his soul an unquiet eddy, his fortune dark, his fame doubtful. In short, all that is body is as coursing waters, all that is of the soul as dreams and vapors.
-- Marcus Aurelius; Meditations

On second thought, let us not go to Camelot. It is a silly place.
-- Arthur, King Of The Britons

Oh, you are fucking kidding me.
-- Stan Palmer (David Clennon); John Carpenter's The Thing (1982)

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Our Future Leader Is The Best

Head And Shoulders Above The Rest, Or Not

Yes; the original image was run through the Photoshop Machine -- but not by much.

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Hello Yes

Is This Dog?

About

“Yes, This is Dog” (also known as “Hello, This is Dog”) is an image featuring a black Labrador anthropomorphized with the caption as if it is answering the telephone. The photograph originated as a still from a 1984 Serbian film, 'Pejzaži u magli' ("Landscape in the Mist"), which involved teenagers, sullen attitudes, beer, Communist authorities, and a Dog (If it didn't have a Dog in it, we wouldn't watch it). The phrase and image have been remixed into a variety of different photographs, often including other animals in similar situations.

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MEHR, MIT HUNDE:   Even Dogs fail, but we try really, really hard. We hold nothing back. We track some things indoors, but principally we leave it all out on the field. We are Total Dogs™, operating at FCC regulation level (Full Canine Capacity). 

When we do fail (and by whose yardstick, I'd ask), it's mostly spatial-coordinate stuff, timing, and functional navigation of the world you people created:  Don't take us to the Sahara, the Oso Flaco Dunes, or Mars. What we lack in the sort of precision that would put us on-field in the Olympics, we make up for in heart. It's that simple.

And it beats that stuff you humans are up to.

© Joey Alison Sayers, 2016

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Out Occupyin'

Back in a bit.

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Down Town

When You're Alone And You Got No Place To Go

 The Weasel Who Lives On Trump's Head Is Restless.
Oh, And Bad Tie Choice. Loser Tie.

When you're finally alone in Downtown America, it's apparent that all sentient life hates Trump.  It's in the papers, on the Intertubes; it's what everyone is thinking when they aren't hating other people. Our Pestident in Washdeecee hates him in a way only the living embodiment of Woodrow Wilson can.

The Partei Republikanner, which gave him his own convention, hates him, too. The Weasel who lives on his head hates him, and it's beginning to show -- it's possible the Weasel has even bitten him once or twice in public.  Even the people who support him actually hate him for making them support him.  He is unfit to be Pepsodent, and by all accounts is unfit to be anything, except a Rubber Bear in the Museo Di Trumpo -- and no one is really sure about that.

Slight Adjustments To A Mr Fish Cartoon From 2012.  

The Repub party is the victim of its own Badness, but even if it refuses to die, it will lie down, and on top of its own Candydate. The Elephant hates him.

So... it will be a near-decade of America being led into a future where all its citizens are monetized, monitored, and shamed if they haven't purchased the latest shiny technology, and where the Old must not be seen or indulged. It is The Time Of She. But it cannot be yet -- or, can it?

We're not enamored of anti-climaxes here in Downtown America. Do we have to wait?  She must be crowned; we must see her Coronation Balls, and there must be The Historic Speech; school children will be allowed to take the day off in order to witness it. Whether by Trumpo or She, there's a so-called Democratic Republic to be dismantled, one way or another. Let's get it over with, huh?

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It's All One Ghetto, Man

Russ Cohle Breaks It Down For Us 
(No. 1 In A Series)

It's all one ghetto, man -- giant gutter in outer space.
-- Det. Rust Cohle (Michael McConaughey; True Detective (2014), Episode One / written by Nick Pizzalatto)

HART: So what's with the crucifix on your wall?
COHLE:  It's a form of meditation. I contemplate the moment in the garden -- the idea of allowing your own crucifixion.
HART:  But you're not a christian.
COHLE: I consider myself a realist; in philosophic terms, I'm a pessimist. Means I'm bad at parties.
HART: Let me tell ya -- you're not too good outside o' parties.
COHLE: ... I think human consciousness is a tragic misstep in evolution. We became too self-aware. Nature created an aspect of nature, separate from itself; we are creatures that should not exist by natural law. We are things that labor under the delusion of having a self, an accretion of sensory experience and feeling, programmed with total assurance that we are each some body -- when in fact, everybody's nobody.
HART: Well, that makes me feel a whole lot better, Russ.
COHLE: I think the honorable thing for our species to do is deny our own programming. Stop reproducing. One last midnight -- hand in hand into extinction; brothers and sisters, opting out of a raw deal.
HART: You know what? Don't say that shit to anybody else. People around here don't think like that.
COHLE: ... Look: as sentient meat, however illusory our identities are, we craft those identities by making value judgements. Everybody does it, all the time. If you've got a problem with that, you're livin' wrong.

 Obligatory Cute Mongo Photo at End Of Blog Downer

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Better Than The Pokey-Go Stuff

The Epic Battle Continues

She, On The Hustings

After the less-than-Democratic convention (the structure of which was based on an extended Amway commercial), She has received the Expected Bounce -- yet, people still do not like her. Gosh.

Trumpwarbler. Doubling Down

Meanwhile, Trumpolina continues to inflame everything, and to preen in public. There are articles issuing from every online, print and teevee news organization about Trump's past, his messy present; his murky future. Even the current Pestident, champion of PTT, has stepped up and said in measured tones that Trump is a wart, a carbuncle, and unfit to be himself.

(That's all true, as far as it goes. But all kidding aside, sitting Presidents are the de facto head of their political party -- but in my long Dog's memory, I can't recall any Pres making the kind of flat declaration which Obama made yesterday.)

I understand that Trump is a buffoon and his chances of winning the general election are little better than 30 per cent -- but at this point, the number and the scope of the anti-Trump attacks seem a bit like beating up a loud, obnoxious drunk who has defecated on himself... just because they're loud, obnoxious, and have defecated on themselves. Even narcissistic billionaires, if they're beaten enough in public, can make their opponents appear the bullies.

But, as I keep barking, this Bozo is his own worst enemy and will not, cannot win the general election. And the campaign continues, because it must: ninety-plus days of Night, an amazing spectacle which we must endure (because America is the land of the strong), and which will have all the allure of drinking an entire bottle of Ipecac enrapture the nation.

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MEHR, MIT GRUNKA-LUNGAS:  ... and the official tracking now rates Il Duce's chances of winning at below ninteen per cent.

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We're Whalers On The Moon

Birthday of Big Marine Mammal Avatar Creators

Over at The Soul Of America, it's a celebration of Herman Melville's 197th birthday, and things of the Sea, and a Whale and other notables which Herman brought back, to tell Thee. I considered writing a post from the viewpoint of the Whale just for the potential Yucks (because, god knows, We Need The Yucks Wherever We Can Get Them), but gave it up and settled for the Humorous Image.

The best thing about the post, and the reason I mention it here, is -- Herman tends to be overlooked in a culture whose highest expression is a Rhianna / Pitbull remix; it's good to be reminded that he is still there -- as he reminds us that we are chased by our mortality; and that sometimes the Form Of The Destructor is large, albino, and aquatic.  For me, it's a big lawn mower. Your mileage may differ.

I was introduced to Melville when I was fourteen -- not through the novel he's most often identified with, but in the short work, "Bartelby The Scrivener" (1853), a classic in its own right. Ishmael's tale was next, and I was, uh, hooked. Later, I wasn't able to read anything by James or Conrad that didn't refer back to the narrative style I encountered first with Melville.

When I consider it, "Moby Dick: Or, A Whale" is ubiquitous now. There is No Whale before He who populates a goodly portion of that book (Yeah, okay; 'Shamu'  and 'Willy': not the same thing). That Big Marine Mammal is archetypal, now.

And His (or, Her) echoes in the culture are manifest:  We get Futurama's We're Whalers On The Moon / We Carry A Harpoon; or Robert Graves' "Good-Bye To All That" (where the President of his College at post-Great War Oxford tells the assembled, 'Gentlemen, the menu indicates that tonight we are dining on "Whale and Pigeon Pie." You will find the ratio of the ingredients to be precisely one whale to one pigeon');  or, Robertson Davies' What's Bred In The Bone (" '...Catch Me!' She said through a mouthful of whale' ").

And, when something appears in Family Guy, it's now hard-wired into our DNA.

 Herman Left Out The Part Where Whales Like 'Total'

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MEHR, MIT KEINE POLITIK: My Very Own Hillaryite Colleague asks, "So you hate music, too?" (This, because of the Rhianna / Pitbull quip.) And I would agree, it's absurdist reductionism to claim that the essence of culture in Eusa is rap music and movies like Neighbors 2: Sorority Rising. I'm convinced that people (or, Whales; or very intelligent Honey Badgers) in the not very distant future will look back on this period as one of the most varied and vibrant in the history of our humanoid species -- until, you know, that thing happens.

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UND NOCH IMMER MEHR:  Once I saw this, I could not un-see it. It is an actual book.

 

 

Your Summer Vacation

Don't Go There

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