Random Barking: Our Weak In Review

Fanaticism

Kim Jong FatBoy Demands Additional Helping Of Foreshortening With His Dessert

In The Boom Boom Room

The military might of a country represents its national strength. Want pizza?

-- Kim Jong FatBoy, That Guy of Korea

On July 29, Kim Jong Un, Happy Killer of the Korean peninsula and starver-in-chief, rejoiced at the launch of (yet another) version of intercontinental ballistic missile -- the second in less than a month, and claiming this one has the capability of striking a target anywhere in the mainland United States.

There's no doubt that Kimmy is Bad, even if he hangs out with Dennis Rodman (okay; maybe because too, also, he hangs out with Rodman). He starves his population, is a despot, has a friggin' wacky haircut, and likes to execute his potential enemies with antiaircraft guns or have them torn apart by dogs. And he has nuclear weapons. And now ICBMs.

It appears to be an even chance that the U.S. could choose to launch a strike against North Korean infrastructure and its military in the near future, and if that happens it's anyone's guess where it would all end.

And, of course, the most important thing in these circumstances is to lower tensions as much as possible. So the U.S. response was to hold joint military exercises with South Korea, around the Korean peninsula, which in the past has driven the North Koreans bugshit.

But, I'm curious: while he is undoubtedly a despot and his rule over North Korea is brutal... has it occurred to anyone that the characterizations of Kim Jong-Un and reports on the state of his regime sound almost identical to those in the western media about Saddam Hussein, in the year or so leading up to the PNAC-sponsored invasion of Iraq? Or, is it just me?

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Da Mooch: Race You To The Bottom

I'm not Steve Bannon. I'm not trying to suck my own [redacted].
--  Da Mooch, To New Yorker Journalist Ryan Lizza

Just when you thought Be No More Weird, This, it got even stranger.

Two weeks ago, Little Seany Spicer, nine years old, was forced out of his position as Mr. PotatoHead at the Ministry of Enlightenment and Propaganda, and replaced by that peevish Middle School teacher in a Wal-Mart sack dress, Miss Sarah. Then, we were introduced to the new White House Communications Director.

Anthony Scaramucci was already a curious figure in American business: a hedge-fund manager who built his own trading house, a known GOP fund-raiser (who once called Trump "a hack" and "a mouth") who sold his stake in his company to a Chinese consortium, expecting he would aber natürlich be brought into the new administration -- after all, he was The Mooch. That didn't happen, and Tiny Tony was at loose ends. 

I'm not the first person to use this turn of phrase to describe the man -- but from the moment Scaramucci appeared in the White House Press Room, he seemed the personification of the Trump regime -- baseless self-confidence; foul-mouthed, bullying; not a person adding clarity to our experience of life, but an obfuscator -- a person who tells lies or half-lies to hold an advantage.

The Mooch (a Nick that encapsulated him, both alliteratively and specifically) was another despicable, tiny, tiny, tiny man -- like his good buddy, who got him that gig. This was the public face of Trumplandia -- this figure out of a Renaissance Commedia del arte?

It's taken just seven months for this Clown Car government to drag most Americans down to a level of cynicism which past presidencies have taken well over a year to achieve. Even Trump's supporters expect that cronyism and nepotism is normal, here in Trumplandia -- as in any corporate Oligarchia.

Then, Reince ("Nancy") Priebus was out the door. The Mooch claimed he was behind it, of course, hinting that he believed Priebus was a "leaker" within the administration. After a dinner with Trump at the White House, The Mooch made an evening phone call to New Yorker journalist Ryan Lizza, whom Mooch believed used Priebus as a White House source.

It was a foul-mouthed, bullying conversation, full of threats and grandiosity. However, Da Mooch neglected to advise Lizza that his excess of Self was all Off The Record -- and so the following day, the New Yorker ran an online article by Lizza, to share the Plaint Of Tiny Tony, a man in full (and later, releasing an audio recording of the call).

In short order, Trump announced he had chosen current Homeland Security Director and former Marine Corps General James Kelly as his new Chief of Staff. One of Kelly's first acts was to demand Tiny Tony be fired; as reported by CNN, Tony was escorted from the White House. At almost the same time, his wife of three years filed for divorce, having just given birth to their child.

If Past is indeed Prologue, I'm expecting Kim Kardashian to become our first female president in 2020. And, given the general tone and tenor of these United States, she'll probably win -- on a platform of "Gettin' that, you know -- good stuff" for all Americans.

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Und Sie, Meine Deutscher Jugend

My German youth.
-- Hitler, Speaking To Mass Hitlerjugend, 1938 Nuremberg Rally

The day before Da Mooch was frog-marched from the building, Trump appeared at the annual National Jamboree of the Boy Scouts of America.

(1)  During the 2016 election season, Trump had appeared at the traditional Al Smith dinner, "where presidential candidates roast their rivals and themselves every four years", per the Atlantic Monthly -- an opportunity to show graciousness and humor even in the middle of tough and even dirty political campaigning. While Clinton sat and watched him, Trump called the U.S. media "Hillary's team", referred to her questioning by the FBI over the then-present Emailgate -- then said with a trademark Hey-Whadya-Whadya shrug, "Hillary is so... corrupt!" The audience was stunned. In retrospect, they shouldn't have been.

( 2 )  Within days after his election, and after publicly railing against America's intelligence community during the campaign, Trump appeared at CIA headquarters in Langley, Virginia, and -- standing in the building's lobby before the marble Memorial Wall, marked by 125 incised stars, representing intelligence agents killed in the line of duty -- "stunned CIA employees by delivering a campaign-style speech".

( 3 )  Two days before his appearance at the Boy Scouts' conclave, Trump appeared at the commissioning of the USS Gerald R. Ford, and surprised -- well, some people, I suppose -- by asking the crowd of soldiers and sailors to support his agenda, which increases defense spending at the expense of other domestic priorities. “I don’t mind getting a little hand," Trump said, "so call that congressman and call that senator and make sure you get it." Then he added, “And by the way, you can also call those senators to make sure you get health care.”

( 4 )  Appearing before a crowd of police and other law enforcement officials in Brentwood, New York on July 28, Trump spoke about the brutal reality of a specific Latino gang, MS-13, and urged police to go ahead and "treat 'em rough... Don't be too nice... Like when you guys put somebody in the car? And you're protecting their head, you know, the way you put [your] hand over [the top of their heads]. Like, 'don't hit their head' -- and they've just killed somebody... I said, 'you can take the hand away;' OK?"

So when Our Oligarch appeared at the Jamboree, everyone should have seen it coming. In a rambling, disjointed, 38-minute speech, he spoke little of community service or the scouting tradition; instead, Trump referred to that favored topic -- himself.

Washington is "a cesspool... a sewer," Trump told the Scouts. He recalled the "beautiful date" of November 8: "Do we remember that date?" he asked, to applause. Reporting the progress of the election that evening, Trump described television network "maps were so red [for Republican victories in various states]... it was unbelievable."

Trump told the assembled Scouts his election was "an unbelievable tribute" to those who voted for him "to 'Make America Great Again'." He referred to his secretary of Health and Human Services, Tom Price, and said that if the secretary couldn't obtain the votes to kill "this horrible thing known as Obamacare," that perhaps he would fire him.

Trump also mentioned the Republican Senator from West Virginia, Shelley Moore Capito, who had openly criticized previous versions of the GOP healthcare legislation. Reflecting on the word 'loyal' in reference to the Scouts, Trump quipped, "We could use some more loyalty, I will tell you that." 

The first National Jamboree was held in 1937. It was attended by President Franklin D. Roosevelt, who told the assembled scouts, "When you go out into life, you come to understand that the individual in your community ... who by inaction or opposition slows up honest, practical, far-seeing community effort, is the fellow who is holding back civilization and holding back the objectives of the Constitution of the United States."

The remark absolutely had a political reference. Despite an easy reelection in 1936, FDR found his New Deal stymied by Republicans and declared unconstitutional by a Supreme Court dominated by conservatives, and he was deeply frustrated. But his comment was an oblique reference -- FDR's speech that day was about public service, and the values Scouting was supposed to foster. It wasn't a self-referential rant by a low-class, narcissistic opportunist. Trump's speech could just as easily have been delivered by Recep ('Kiki') Erdogan.

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 Song Of The Volga Boatmen

...Why won't you go away?
-- Randy Newman, "I'm Dead But I Don't Know It"; Bad Love (1999)

The Trump - Russia connection will not fade away. Even former CIA officers, old Russia hands, believe that based on the evidence and their own experience of how Russian intelligence runs an operation, there is some kind of fire beneath all the smoke.

This past week, Reuters broke the story that Trump Jr.'s initial statement about his 2016 meeting with Russian attorney Natalia Veselnitskaya had ben dictated by his father, aboard Air Force One while returning to the U.S. from the G20 summit when the initial story was reported in the New York Times on July 10.  Missy Sarah, when asked about this by the hated fake media, did not deny it, saying only that Trump Sr. had done "what any father would do."

The statement dictated by Trump Sr. claimed the meeting with the Russians was "short", that Trump Jr. had "asked Jared [Kushner] and Paul [Manafort] to stop by. We primarily discussed a program about the adoption of Russian children that was active and popular with American families years ago and was since ended by the Russian government, but it was not a campaign issue at the time and there was no follow up.

"I was asked to attend the meeting by an acquaintance," Trump Sr. dictated while in flight, "but was not told the name of the person I would be meeting with beforehand."

This initial statement was so vague, and contradicted by other reported details, that Trump Jr. was forced to issue a 'clarification' which amounted to a contradiction. Additional details to come out after that second statement even threw its accuracy into doubt. All any one could say was, there's a great deal of smoke.

The immediate view by a number of opinion commentators and news journalists was, even if Trump Sr. were responding as a father, crafting an inaccurate and/or incomplete statement about l'affaire Veselnitskaya, from an investigative perspective at least, gives the appearance of an act in furtherance of covering up a crime, an obstruction of justice. Unless he already knew about the meeting (which raises additional questions), Trump Sr. could not write even an inaccurate statement without talking to others who did know what happened, when, and why.

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More important, it was revealed yesterday to the public (not a surprise for the Trump legal team, surely) that Special Counsel Robert Mueller had been dealing with not one but two Federal Grand Juries to hear evidence in two separate matters.

Trump characterizes this kind of activity as a "witch hunt," that it's all about Democrats being sore losers. Most news commentators have said grand juries are a normal occurrence, not anything particularly notable -- but as an ex-investigative Dog at the Federal level, let me observe: that's not entirely true.

Federal Grand Juries aren't empaneled unless sufficient grounds exist to suspect a breach of Federal law. While they have a large amount of power to direct the inquiries themselves, through their Forepersons, Grand Juries rarely do so -- the old adage about a Grand Jury being something a District Attorney or United States Attorney can play like a piano is often the case  Their members are primarily retirees who have the kind of free time needed to sit on a jury and hear evidence, often for months. 

Grand Juries exist to compel production of documents, and the testimony of witnesses. And, Grand Juries cost money. There is no guarantee they'll find in favor of handing down a criminal indictment -- but they aren't convened for no reason. And Robert Mueller has apparently been managing two separate juries, dealing with two separate lines of inquiry. 

But it's early days; many a slip 'twixt the cup and the lip, and all that. Still, small wonder everyone on Team Trump is lawyering up, including the Vice President.

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Public Trump = Private Trump, And No One Is Surprised

Yesterday, transcripts prepared by the White House but not released were published by The Washington Post of telephone conversations between Trump and the Australian Prime Minister, and the President of Mexico, shortly after his inauguration.

With the Mexican President, Pena Nieto -- whom he kept calling 'Enrique' -- Trump alternately threatened and flattered him, and then said Mexico had to pay for construction of a border wall with the United States. Because. 

>> TRUMP:  The only thing I will ask you though is on the wall ... I have to have Mexico pay for the wall – I have to. I have been talking about it for a two year period, and the reason I say they are going to pay for the wall is because Mexico has made a fortune out of the stupidity of U.S. trade representatives. They are beating us at trade and they are beating us at the border, and they are killing us with drugs... 

>> NIETO:  ...But my position has been and will continue to be very firm saying that Mexico cannot pay for that wall. 

>> TRUMP:  But you cannot say that to the press. The press is going to go with that and I cannot live with that...

Australian Prime Minister Malcolm Turnbull (whom he insisted on calling Malcom) had reached an agreement with President Obama to resettle 1,250 Syrian refugees in the U.S., initially taken in by the Aussies. Trump was on record as saying the deal was bad, and used a blend of self-pity and begging to get Turnbull to agree not to send the refugees, to no avail. 

>> TRUMP:  Malcom [sic]... This is going to kill me. I am the world’s greatest person that does not want to let people into the country. And now I am agreeing to take 2,000 people and I agree I can vet them, but that puts me in a bad position. It makes me look so bad and I have only been here a week. 

>> TURNBULL:  With great respect, that is not right – It is not 2,000... The given number in the agreement is 1,250 and it is entirely a matter of your vetting... 

>> TRUMP:  Look, I do not know how you got them to sign a deal like this, but that is how they lost the election. They said I had no way to 270 and I got 306. That is why they lost the election, because of stupid deals like this. You have brokered many a stupid deal in business and I respect you, but I guarantee that you broke many a stupid deal. This is a stupid deal. This deal will make me look terrible... 

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Finally, in a related item, Federal prosecutors in New York are issuing subpoenas, looking into the propriety of a Kushner family project -- selling EB5 visas, allowing immigration into the U.S. for (principally Chinese) investors who pay $500K to support real estate projects which claim to hire construction crews from the neighborhoods where the building takes place. This, at the same time his father-in-law supports restricting any legal immigration to half of its current annual level.

Woof.

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But I feel like a stranger
Feel like a stranger
You know it keeps getting stranger and stranger
If it's love then how would I know?

Yes and it's gonna get stranger
Some things you just know

If this were love then how would I know
(Feel like a stranger)
(Feel like a stranger)
Feel like a stranger
(Feel like a stranger)
It's gonna be a long hot crazy night
It's gonna be a long long crazy crazy night
Yeah crazy night
Silky silky, crazy crazy night

--  Grateful Dead (Weir/Barlow), "Feel Like A Stranger"; Go To Heaven (1980)

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Pardon Me

Same As It Never Was

While all agree the U.S. president has the complete power to pardon, why think of that when only crime so far is LEAKS against us.  FAKE NEWS
Trump / Twitter, July 22, 2017

Donald Trump is a pivotal historical figure. He'd like hearing that, but not for the reasons it's true.

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Trump is an Oligarch, the first of his ilk elected to national office in America, the culmination of a long string of compromises, inertia, and bad choices in our history and politics. Trump came to power in an alliance with opportunistic associates, the best political con artists of the early 21st century; and voters loosely described as Tea Party and Alt-Right, who have unquestioningly accepted 30 years of indoctrination in the alternate reality of the Right's echo chamber.

The image of a corrupt, bombastic national leader is one Americans have always used, with a smirk, to dismiss the problems of 'somewhere else': the behavior of a Berlusconi, a Mugabe; a Ghaddafi, a Middle Eastern prince; or the leader of a 'Banana Republic'. Now, America has just such a leader.

Nine months after the election, it's fair to say the majority of Americans do not understand how this could have happened, are frightened of what will happen next, and don't know what to do about it.

Far from being steward of a nation of some 400 million people, Trump sees the presidency as an extension of his own person, a grand stage on which to strut and preen and demand validation, over and over. He personifies what American culture holds out to the world as the apex of success and fulfillment in life -- being a billionaire business 'leader', wielding power, able to afford a wonderful life, with treats, and a separate system of taxation and justice.

Trump has no real political agenda, because the presidency of the United States is just his latest acquisition. It's a sweet little property, a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to the kind of access needed to work deals so 'big', so 'huge', that they will elevate him and his family into world-class Oligarchs. 

His administration may not last another twelve months, but his becoming president is one symptom of a metastatic disease within America's political structure. And like the towering rages he treats his subordinates and family to, as Trump leaves the presidency, thwarted by a liberal conspiracy, his greatness stolen by a fake-news media, Trump will urinate in the Lincoln Bedroom, set fire to furniture, spray-paint obscenities on the Roosevelt Room walls and cut paintings out of their frames on his way to the helicopter.

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A little speculation: Trump was determined to be president. He saw no difference between "winning" a national election and making any other successful corporate power play -- you pull out all the stops, play rough; even play dirty if it will gain an advantage. In that context, it's very believable that Trump would see back channel help from a foreign government in winning that election to be no different than approaching a business associate for assistance in closing a deal. 

And why not accept some help? Trump has what we now know are thirty years' worth of business and personal connections with Russia -- and at least a handshake relationship with its ruler, Vladimir Putin, whom Trump respects and believes he understands. During the campaign, Trump sent signals in the many complimentary things he said about Putin. He praised the Russian president in terms Trump likes to use to describe himself -- tough, rich, uncompromising; a Player. 

But Trump wanted to win. And he may have considered that if he became president, Russia could become an ally to fight ISIS, possibly even a partner to help broker peace in the Middle East, instead of an adversary. It's a bit of a stretch -- but an alliance-in-all-but-name with Russia would remake the balance of world politics overnight. It's the sort of game-changing strike without warning which Trump and his principal strategist, Steve Bannon, are fond of.

There would be skeptics in the GOP like Graham and McCain, who mistrust the Russians; and among Europeans, who are closer geographically to Russia than we are. The Chinese wouldn't like it. But somehow, Trump might believe -- if he could just become president -- it would work. And, a political fait accompli would tend to obscure any Russian hacking that might happen before the election, which was already obvious to U.S. intelligence and then-President Obama. Any investigation of that activity would be buried, because Trump would be in charge.

After, Trump just knew he would be covered in glory, with huge, big, big, big; hugely big approval ratings -- proving to everyone that he was loved and adored (no, worshiped) as no American Leader before him had been. Craving uncritical adulation appears to be one of Trump's principal motivations. It may be the only one.

Trump would then have all the domestic political capital with a Republican-controlled Congress he needed to build border walls, deport people he doesn't like; repeal Obamacare. Easily elected to a second term, he would continue to encourage his surrogates and camp followers to realize the fevered, wet dreams of power, domination and punishment which America's political Right has nurtured for generations.

So, in this consideration, help was offered and/or asked for, and was delivered. If that sounds like a bridge too far, here's a question: Why was there so much attention focused on Russia, and contacts with Russians that have direct connections to Putin, by Trump and his coterie of advisors both before and after the election? What was the reason?

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You have to wonder how Putin viewed Trump's becoming president. Financial sanctions levied against Russia by the Obama administration hurt Putin (and his associate)s' ability to more efficiently skim off the top and launder the proceeds, and he had no intention of taking it lying down.

The cyberarm of the GRU (Russian military intelligence) has been probing American governmental and commercial systems for over twenty years. Their goal has never been to run scams like Ransomware, or weaponize software code in something like Stuxnet -- but in developing the ability to use cyberwarfare as one part of an asymetric attack on a target; in this case, the United States.

Putin's KGB career involved analyzing American culture and intentions, and it's likely he understands roughly a quarter of the adult U.S. population has swallowed thirty years of right-wing codswallop, which always ends with a Federal government determined to sell America out to a one-world, globalist liberal conspiracy.

America is full of fault lines, primarily involving race and wealth inequality. Russians view even the flawed diversity and democracy in the U.S. as expressions of weakness, especially when compared with their own nationalist, authoritarian government. Putin wants to diminish U.S. influence in the world, and anything which exploits America's partisan divide against itself gives Russia more advantage -- in Syria; in Ukraine; and in offshore accounts.

A straight hack of the DNC to obtain more raw intelligence about the organization of a major American political party is one thing. But hacking to obtain information, and then using the product to tip the scales of a U.S. national election is something else. Trump presented the Russians with an irresistible opportunity: all hackers are Geeks with Kung-Fu powers; there's a lot of juice in just pulling the hack off successfully. 

The product of the GRU's hacks, used properly, could destabilize the United States -- not in an obvious way that could be seen as an act of war (e.g., bringing down the electrical grid or disrupting the banking system), but by kicking the confidence of Americans in its government and basic democratic institutions further to the curb.

Trump's election would leave the U.S. further divided and uncertain, its government distracted, its president a weak, bombastic narcissist who only accepts advice from a tiny circle of family or uncritical 'alternative' advisors. If even a part of that could be achieved, with a minimum of resources and effort, Putin might consider it an exquisite kind of payback.

Putin knew Trump might expect an America under his leadership becoming a closer partner with Russia. Publicly, Vlad said he welcomes closer relations. He would like the sanctions against Russian individuals and its banks lifted -- but it is certainly advantageous to Russia if America is kept off-balance and distracted. So, Putin could suggest the possibility of A Great New Friendship... but it will always remain just out of Trump's reach, so long as Vlad wants it that way. Bizarrely, Trump needs Putin more than the reverse is true.

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So, very possibly, Trump accepted assistance offered by intermediaries from Putin. He saw the Russian hacks and release of the product as right, a necessary edge in an election against a hated liberal icon, sowing confusion and discord in a political structure that the outsider Trump claimed to detest.

Crooked Hillary, the Fake News conspiracy against him, would be outmaneuvered. He would fight and fight and fight -- and win, because he was Donald Trump; and all would love him.

That's all that mattered.

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I keep hearing conversations with some variation on If only this turd were swept out of power, everything could go back to normal. This perception is a mistake. Mike Pence in the Oval Office might seem more socially acceptable; we could pretend everything was The Same As It Ever Was. But Trump's fall means elevating a religious fundamentalist to the presidency, and even though Pence outwardly appears to be 'normal' (relative to Trump), he is equally as threatening and destabilizing. Look at his record.

Pence aside, the damage has already been done. There is no viable alternative to the continued rule of America by the individuals who crawled in behind Trump as he was inaugurated. Their goal is to continue dismantling the social contract between government and citizen that was the cornerstone of FDR's New Deal. And they will not cease, unless someone stops them.

And by that I mean a Poland-style, hundreds of thousands in the streets, saying No Pasaran stopping them. But with few exceptions (in particular people who already know what the score is and are so full of rage they feel they have little to lose), everyone just wants it to be The Same As It Ever Was.  

But who or what will offer a change? The Democratic party appears rudderless. The same neoliberal PTB who wanted Hill-O as Leader seem still to be in charge -- and their message isn't about Resistance. It's about connecting with the people they believe voted Trump into office; feeling the pain of ordinary Americans.  It's about playing a longer strategic game.

Yesterday, Senator Chuck Schumer, Representative Nancy Pelosi and DNC Chair Tom Perez announced the 2018 campaign direction for their party. Reduced to it's essence, their 'answer to America's working families', is the same as Michael Dukakis' during the 1988 presidential election -- "good jobs at good wages" -- meaning they would focus on addressing basic economic issues, in order to define the Democratic party as being more than "just against Donald Trump".

It's easy to see the decision behind this rebranding, but it doesn't encourage standing up, or fighting back. It's like handing an aspirin to a person slowly being crushed to death, and touching their hand -- tenderly, and with love. Under the circumstances, this kind of response is inadequate.

Something more active needs to be done. But given the lack of response from the population and Left politicians, how much worse will it need to become before a larger number of people act? 

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Trump has gotten what he wanted -- the limelight of history: Top of the world, Ma! In what happens next, he is a pivotal figure, a cause utterly out of proportion with the effect he will have on our lives. That anyone suffers because of this Clown is tragic, and ironic. Chickens, home to roost. Somewhere the gods are laughing, fit to bust -- and Vladimir Putin, of course.

The ascension to the presidency of a right-wing buffoon with limited impulse control is bad: The Past Is Prologue; just look at what's happened in seven months. The buffoon made Leader at the same time the Congress is dominated by Republicans, with a probable conservative bias in the Supreme Court, is very bad.

If it's determined the buffoon president solicited or agreed to assistance from a foreign power, in order to affect the election which barely gave him a victory, it's not just extremely bad for America -- it's an unprecedented Constitutional crisis.

And Trump is only a symptom. All this, The fact that he is where he is, makes obvious our political structure is dysfunctional and schizophrenic. That we're becoming a culture where the needs of Americans -- employment; housing; safe water and air and food; medical care; one system of justice -- won't be addressed unless they can pay for them. That we all feel something is out of control, getting perilously close to an edge. That things can't go on like this.

As if it wasn't obvious. As if anyone had to actually say so.  But we do. We need to say it publicly, loudly, and often, until we believe it.  Because at the moment, a majority of Americans are still betting that Same As It Ever Was is still a possible future.

______________________________

MEHR, MIT DAS TIERLIEBE: 

______________________________

Can't You See That I Am Not Afraid

C'mon C'mon C'mon C'mon C'mon Touch Me Babe

 

__________________________________

MEHR; MIT DER BOOM, UND DER BING, 

UND DER BING BING BOOM BOOM BANG:

 _____________________________________

Make It Fun

Don't Drive Angry

Be The Hat.  Be The Hat.

Puxatawney Phil, The Groundhog, saw his shadow today in Blegsylvania. We therefore have three years, and three hundred fifty-three more days of bottom-feeding Fascisti to go.

It beats having to experience this day in Murrikan history, over and over and over. And over. With Little Jeffy Spicer, Mr PotatoHead, lecturing the whole Earth about how bad and wrong, and wrong and bad, it and everyone in it, is.

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Friday We Went Into The Night And The Gnashing Of Mandibles

Hope You're Not Expecting Profundity, Or Good Government.

At the end of another week I remind myself:  We don't have it that bad, relative to... a whole lot.

Huh? You want the list, Yo? Well, to start with --- we didn't have to endure physical torture (though watching Il Duce's minions in confirmation hearings on CSPAN2 is pretty close); we didn't have to survive a Russian airstrike; we didn't have to wander in -20 F temperatures outside Belgrade; we aren't dropping to the living room floor whenever we hear popping we know is gunfire. We have enough money to buy things we do not need (as we are compelled to do by training which begins in infancy), and enough food to be overweight (Mildly. Let's not get carried away here).

We're fairly safe; live in neighborhoods where there are over ten different varieties of honey for sale, for fuck's sake; and we don't have to pay the police to leave us alone.  It's a good bet our children, if they commute home from school, will actually get there alive and unmolested. And when The Dear Leader To Come appears on teevee -- tubby, bloated, "Huge" -- we can shut the fucking thing off and not be compelled to perform some act of obeisance.

Yes; there's much I personally do not have.  But because of all the above, I am grateful. Really.

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Photo Of Stunning Flight Attendant

For Absolutely No Goddamn Reason

No idea what airline this person is connected with. Doesn't matter. (Associated Press)
[ The Googlegerät advises it's UAE's Eithad Airways.] 

Back at the Place O' Witless Labor. Thinking about the transience of all things; listening to Avro Pärt's Spiegel Im Spiegel. Pausing to note that Mariah Carey is very close to being officially fat, and that Il Duce ! is not just tubby but putrescently podgy and blubbery in a way only Oligarchs can be.

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And with this post, we here at BeforeNine inaugurate yet another unnecessary Blog category: For Absolutely No Goddamn Reason, as indicated above.  

This relates to an image which appeared in the very top strip of the banner on a print version of The Onion, distributed circa 2010 in Kiddietown before it became Kiddietown, which showed a small photo of a Lemur with the caption, "Picture of Lemur shown for absolutely no goddamned reason". 

Just to be clear, the image above is not a photo of a Lemur. Thank you.

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Ruh-Roh

Who Cares 

 Oh Get Real: Na Gah Happn

Apparently, She, The Expected One, has a new teensy email problem. More information as events warrant,  but it's doubtful it will have any affect on the manufactured outcome of this Thing we're involved in (oh; choosing the Emptysuit.  Got it).

Ironically enough,  this new fresh crisis for Hill-o resulted from an investigation into the cybersexual escapades of Herr Wiener,  husband to Huma Abedin, one of Hill-o's top aides: apparently some emails from She related to the investigation into HC's private email server were found on Abedin's laptop. 

However, reality asserts itself. Let's face it; unless She has been forwarding copies of the Single Integrated Operational Defense Plan for North America to Kim Jong Fatboy, or the lurking ChiCom menace, the bad bad Iranians or even Sad Vlad, The Putin; or unless she's been moving tons of Blow and scores of underage Hoors around on military air transport, She has it in the bag.  She has for months.

Whew. For a moment there, I thought, you know, this was real news. But that would mean if there was any violation of law there would have to be, you know, real consequences.

(This would be a nice moment to put on the "Passerella Di Addio" by Nino Rota, the theme to Fellini's  8 1/2, a musical interpretation of humanity's ultimately absurd and overblown sense of itself.)

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MEHR MIT EINEM NEUES GEDENKEN: What if it's just a false-flag? A moment of panic for those who believe that Trump has any chance whatsoever.  A late change to the script.

This is Theater, folks. This is Caramel Popcorn level teevee. This is the change in the middle of the third reel, when the heroine is gravely threatened ("Like an 18-wheeler smacking into us!").  And, in keeping with the National Narrative, Little Hillary will push on bravely, fighting the Good Fight against the evil the evil the evil who have always had it in for herself and her Saintly Bill-o. 

And, She will triumph, going On To Greater Glory and to become Our Leader.  Her victory, just that much sweeter. And all America will go Yay! Party!  Roll credits. Buy a T-Shirt on the way out of the theater.

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MEHR, MIT DER POLIZEI: Hill-o has responded this new news by demanding that the FBI reveal all: "Come and get me, Coppers!!"  Apparently, DOJ officials warned FBI Director James Comey not to send a letter to Congress announcing news of the Abdein emails, and the Campaign of She has trumpeted that Comey, a conservative Republican, is attempting to influence the election by doing so.

Comey had apparently told Congress in July when delivering testimony that he would keep them informed of any new developments and so (at least according to the Politico reporter who just appeared on PBS' Weekend News Hour) was compelled to send the letter (earlier, I'd said he was not; silly Pooch, me). 

But if I could ask Comey a question, it would be: What is the point of this, Stupidhead?? Donald Trump is not going to win. He never was. The election is over, already.

Turn up the Nino Rota, please.

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The World You Wish For Is Already Irrelevant

Not Even Close

fivethirtyeightdotcom's current analysis of polling data says She will sweep to victory with more than 70% (or 305 Electoral votes).

I never met a girl who makes me feel the way that you do (You're alright)
Whenever I'm asked who makes my dreams real, 

I say that you do (You're outta sight)

So, fee-fi-fo-fum
Look out baby, 'cause here I come.

And I'm bringing you a love that's true.
So get ready, 

get ready.

I'm gonna try to make you love me too.
So get ready, so get ready 

'cause here I come.

I'm on my way.

Get ready 'cause here I come

Get ready 'cause here I come

---  Smokey Robinson, "Get Ready"; The Temptations, 1966

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Our Future Leader Is The Best

Head And Shoulders Above The Rest, Or Not

Yes; the original image was run through the Photoshop Machine -- but not by much.

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It's All One Ghetto, Man

Russ Cohle Breaks It Down For Us 
(No. 1 In A Series)

It's all one ghetto, man -- giant gutter in outer space.
-- Det. Rust Cohle (Michael McConaughey; True Detective (2014), Episode One / written by Nick Pizzalatto)

HART: So what's with the crucifix on your wall?
COHLE:  It's a form of meditation. I contemplate the moment in the garden -- the idea of allowing your own crucifixion.
HART:  But you're not a christian.
COHLE: I consider myself a realist; in philosophic terms, I'm a pessimist. Means I'm bad at parties.
HART: Let me tell ya -- you're not too good outside o' parties.
COHLE: ... I think human consciousness is a tragic misstep in evolution. We became too self-aware. Nature created an aspect of nature, separate from itself; we are creatures that should not exist by natural law. We are things that labor under the delusion of having a self, an accretion of sensory experience and feeling, programmed with total assurance that we are each some body -- when in fact, everybody's nobody.
HART: Well, that makes me feel a whole lot better, Russ.
COHLE: I think the honorable thing for our species to do is deny our own programming. Stop reproducing. One last midnight -- hand in hand into extinction; brothers and sisters, opting out of a raw deal.
HART: You know what? Don't say that shit to anybody else. People around here don't think like that.
COHLE: ... Look: as sentient meat, however illusory our identities are, we craft those identities by making value judgements. Everybody does it, all the time. If you've got a problem with that, you're livin' wrong.

 Obligatory Cute Mongo Photo at End Of Blog Downer

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Better Than The Pokey-Go Stuff

The Epic Battle Continues

She, On The Hustings

After the less-than-Democratic convention (the structure of which was based on an extended Amway commercial), She has received the Expected Bounce -- yet, people still do not like her. Gosh.

Trumpwarbler. Doubling Down

Meanwhile, Trumpolina continues to inflame everything, and to preen in public. There are articles issuing from every online, print and teevee news organization about Trump's past, his messy present; his murky future. Even the current Pestident, champion of PTT, has stepped up and said in measured tones that Trump is a wart, a carbuncle, and unfit to be himself.

(That's all true, as far as it goes. But all kidding aside, sitting Presidents are the de facto head of their political party -- but in my long Dog's memory, I can't recall any Pres making the kind of flat declaration which Obama made yesterday.)

I understand that Trump is a buffoon and his chances of winning the general election are little better than 30 per cent -- but at this point, the number and the scope of the anti-Trump attacks seem a bit like beating up a loud, obnoxious drunk who has defecated on himself... just because they're loud, obnoxious, and have defecated on themselves. Even narcissistic billionaires, if they're beaten enough in public, can make their opponents appear the bullies.

But, as I keep barking, this Bozo is his own worst enemy and will not, cannot win the general election. And the campaign continues, because it must: ninety-plus days of Night, an amazing spectacle which we must endure (because America is the land of the strong), and which will have all the allure of drinking an entire bottle of Ipecac enrapture the nation.

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MEHR, MIT GRUNKA-LUNGAS:  ... and the official tracking now rates Il Duce's chances of winning at below ninteen per cent.

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Torn From Today's Headliners

No Harrassing Ex-Fox News Charges In Roger Ailes' Mishandling Of Clinton Sexual FBI Emails 

After a subheading like that, you're expecting text?

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Random Barking: A Walk Into The Mime Field

No Big Apple Big Hug Mug For You

Oddly Familiar

(New York Times Online) For years, Jermaine Himmelstein, 24, has held a sign offering “Free Hugs” in public places like Times Square and Washington Square Park, a seemingly kind offer that could brighten the days of tourists and lunch-breakers.

For years, it hasn’t worked like that. The sign is a lie; Mr. Himmelstein has frequently accosted people who don’t tip him, in some cases assaulting them. Far from spreading joy, he was described in a 2013 profile in The New York Times as “a creepy legend.”

On Thursday, he was arrested and charged with robbery after punching a 22-year-old Canadian tourist, a woman, in the face at 46th Street and Broadway in Times Square, sending her to a hospital with severe swelling to her face... She had taken a photo with Mr. Himmelstein and refused his demands to pay him, the police said.

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Get Busy Livin' Or Get Busy Dyin'

Form And Void
 

RUSS COHLE:  I tell ya, Marty -- I been up in that room, lookin' out them windows, thinkin' -- it's just one story. The oldest. 
MARTY HART: What's that? 
COHLE: Light versus dark. 
HART: Well...  I know we ain't in Alaska, but (looks up at the night sky) -- it appears to me the dark has a lot more territory. 
COHLE:  Yeah, you're right about that... but you're lookin' at it wrong.  
HART: How's that? 
COHLE: Once, there was only dark... You ask me, the light's winnin'.

-- Matthew McConaughey, Woody Harrelson / True Detective (Season One, 2014)

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Yes; recently went through a True Detective / Season 1 marathon (which explains the previous post, too, also). Days like these: Work = bad; experience of daily living = not a great deal better -- and I find myself drawn back to the lines Nic Pizzolatto had written for the character of Rustin Cohle as delivered by Matthew McConaughey: Existence as bearing witness to the Unsolvable, the bottomless and apparently no-limit ability of humans to fuck with each other; the unfathomable What of all and everything. Let's just say it's not a period when I choose to watch musical comedies.

(One of my favorite quotes: Episode 7, 'After You've Gone'; Hart and Cohle interview an older black woman who winds up spouting about Carcosa and death is not the end, another link in the investigative chain leading them on, upriver, looking for Kurtz, madness hiding in the Bayou.

(McConaughey lights a cigarette, looks off into some far distance and says to Harrelson, "Sure hope that old lady's wrong."  Puzzled, Harrelson asks, "About what?"   " 'bout death not being the end," McConaughey replies.)
 

McConaughey's character looks at the Daily Monster and doesn't flinch; he wants, and doesn't want, an answer to the What question (an old Suicide Club acquaintance once said, preparing to do a handstand on the summit of the west tower of the Bay Bridge, an age ago, now: "You're scared but you do it anyway"). In the end, he has an epiphany of a kind -- in my imagination he comes to some understanding that some days the universe is that bottomless, reductive, time-in-a-circle-eternal-recurrence, Dantean pit. Others, it isn't.

And that line penned by another writer, Frank Darabont (yes, he of TWD), keeps resonating, too: Get busy livin', or get busy dyin'. That's absolutely goddamn right.

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A Kid Can Dream

Role Model

(Mr Fish, 2016)

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MEHR, MIT GELD:

In The Land Of Smiles

The Insufficiently Cheerful Shall Be Punished

Over at the Soul of America is a link to the Tomclarkblog, which had many photos (as it tends to) showing aspects of this world, and (if you've been good) a poem.

Because I'm a Dog with the digital equivalent of crayons, I get to play with these pictures because Photoshop Ist Meine Besser Freund, and because I can.  Don't like? Tell it to the Grand Theft Auto Deer.

And there are also a few other things I've found and brought back from the Intertubes for you.  Enjoy.

Herr Trumpo's appearance at a Based Ball game causes certain reactions from those in the immediate vicinity.  (Original photo:  Rick Scuteri / USA Today / Reuters)

Once upon a Tyme, when the world allowed their love.

"That's  'Yes, Mistress', slave !!" (Mr Fish)

Die Polizei are people, too, also, and workers . And a trip to the bathroom after being strapped into Tac gear isn't a picnic. And those Balaclava masks itch. (Original photo:  Christian Hartmann / Reuters)

Letting Pandas hang out with stuffed, fake bears presents certain existential issues.

(Original photo:  Joshua Paul / AP)

 Grand Theft Auto Deer vs. Gangbangers. 
The 'Bangers don't stand a chance:  Deer gonna Fuck You Up (NYT Online)

You will need to read Japanese, and upside down, to wrest the full Yucks from this picture.

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(Photo: Gemunu Amarasinghe / AP)

I meant to end with this image, which Mr Clark used to end his own post. He had opened it with photos of the partially sand-buried bodies of migrants from the Middle East, washed ashore on a beach near Tripoli, Libya -- this is a photo of a person in a small boat, rowing on Inva Lake near Yangon, Myanmar (Burma) in late February.

It's a reminder: even with all the most terrible things imaginable happening in the world, the Earth abides. We may be on our way out as a species; it may not abide for us. But scenes like this are part of the world we inhabit, now, and will continue, misty and calm, whether we're there to witness them or not.

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Life As Candyhole

Training Module 1 : Your Day One

Welcome to a mini-training module in how to conduct yourself as part of an organization.

Join Sparky and Blabber as they report for their first day in a new assignment -- there will be fun, and challenges, and new opportunities for growth as we learn how to cooperate and "play to strengths" in reaching collective goals, while maintaining a healthy appetite for competition!

             

Highlights of today's module:

(1) General ethics in the workplace ("What's In It For Me?")
(2) Goals and Objectives (Immediate Gratification vs. Long-Term Planning)
(3) Cooperative, Team-Building Behaviors (Cooperation Is Sharing!)

Thank you for your time and attention!   Be sure and see our mini-modules on Executive Behaviors (or, "So You Want To Be A Manager") and Challenges In The Workplace: Reaching Your Personal Goals.

For the committed overachiever those who want to know more, all six training modules can be reviewed here.  If you have any additional questions, please contact your manager or compliance officer.

Please accept a free motivational image for your PC desktop as a reminder of the useful information in today's mini-module:

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Candyhole© is a creation of the very talented Brian Frisk.
(Marvin The Shark told us to say that.)

We're All Good

Liveblogging The STFU

You've Been A Tough House; G'Night !

 Ah, another year passes us by, and already it's nearly time for the Pepsodent to deliver the annual 'Feel Good About Ourselves' speech, the State Of The Union, which I refer to as the STFU. And we will be performing our little Dadaist liveblogging as we go with Nopence, rolling, rolling home (poor wife).

It was established in the Constitution that the Prestident would, from time to time, show up and report out on how everything is in This Great Land Of Ours. And we will be there, listening to Herr Obama's last speech in The Big House, and watching the capering antics of  Rethugpublicans and Der Amerikanischer Tea Partei in this, an elective year.  And there will be a Rethuglican Response to the STFU! Americans are so cruel. And fortunate.

We want you to know that watching the STFU has resulted in animal behaviors, which  may include dry mouth, rapid barking; sudden and irreversible loss of bowel and bladder control; the temporary inability to move. But it's delicious and keeps you in balance through new Eco-Boost technology. Check with your Doktor before STFU.

Ooops; sorry -- I'm already liveblogging the commercials. As usual, we're tuned to CBS, the network of Uncle Walter, and Eric, and Dan What's The Frequency. It makes me feel happy but at the same time not so happy because we are proud -- the key is to change how people see us. And Thus the STFU will be America's best-selling brand and only at your Ford dealer. It's all theater, man. All In The Game, Yo.

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6:03 PM:  John Dickerson and Norah O'Donnell of CBS tells Scott Pelley everything. This is about larger ideas in a circle, and this is an early STFU because of elections and the Pestident wants to put on Trump's cap.  Margaret Brennan has been at the White House all day and is tired but still they pester her with questions. Scotty is so cruel.

Little Paulie Ryan is the new Speaker-To-Animals, and took a dim view of this STFU. He just wants to tell the Poptent to STFU already.

6:06 PM:  The Sargent At Arms is bellowing; the Perterdunt is marching, marching down the aisle; yes we see him, blocked by a man with a camera. Camera Persons are so cruel. The Punterdant is slapping shoulders in manly fashion. As in past STFU's, man Republigan members (read: Dicks) are dressed in windbreakers and jeans, as if they have somewhere else to be that involves housecleaning or barbecue. Clearly their focus is elsewhere.

Herr Obama has offered an Olive Branch to Paulie Ryan, and is giving his speech to people now. Not as cool as getting a nice book of porno, but Paulie gets to say he has a rare privilege and here's That Guy.

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6:11 PM:  I understand that because it's an election season, it will be constructive, and I'm hoping we can work on some bipartisan priorities, like helping people battle each other and  -- who knows! We may go easy on the year ahead. Don't worry, I have plenty and the progress we make will be about fixing, protecting, equality, and raising the minimum things that matter to hard-working families. I want to get 'em done.  And terrarists plotting a half a world away.

America has been before. Each time, we have been afeared of people who just got something that threatened to take America out of control. In the words of Lincoln, We Fought A Gnu; We acted Like A Gnu. And because we did -- the opportunity made us better than before, with horns.

The Gnu, Which We Fought, And Became.

6:16 PM:  What was true then could be true now -- because we are unique and separate from history, discovering adversity and committed to ruling law, and will secure prosperity forever.  That's how we recovered from The Great Crash (Applause, from Democrats -- Little Paule Ryan is sitting behind Herr Obama like a mannequin).

Will we face the future with calluses and be better, or talk about the future?  There are Four Big Questions, regardless of whether Donald Trump paints the White House Puce.  (1)How Do We? and (2)How Do We?  (3)How Do We? And Finally, How Do We?

6:22 PM: There is a basic fact about the economy -- We have  the most virile economy in the world; we have a giant member. More than 14,000,000 feet long, all grown within the year. It's just part of a surge that has been done on the cheap. Anyone who says America's economy is in decline is Battling A Giant Fiction. You've seen them in Hollywood movies; they're Big Fictions.

But because corporations are disloyal and can do whatever they want, America's workers work hard and shake themselves fairly, but are concerned. We make progress out of thin air, and need to make more.

Americans, Broads or No, agree they need to be trained. No Child Left Behind was sadly abandoned somewhere but we made it do a Thing it could not do (Applause). Every student was offered hands to be on with their teachers, and there were laws.

We have to make every American affordable (Applause).

All of us here in this Chamber are doin' great (Laughter). But everybody else in Murrika needs to spend time and effort to retrain, whether they want to or not.  It's the new digital economy that will be here now, and we must train, train or not eat.

Let us strengthen Social Security (All Rethuglicans sit, hands folded, sour faces: Death To Grandma and Grandpa! Useless Eaters !  Free Markets Will Lift Or Sink Their Boats!)  I guess we won't agree on Health Care, and you laugh out there -- but there are other ways we can work hard to make sure that a person who loses a job can still pay his bills; and that's how we make the economy better.

Speaker To Animals Ryan has said things (Applause).  But there are some areas which we have found in seven years -- it's an honest disagreement; Paulie wants big bloated corporations to do whatever they want and I just want the red tape to go away (Applause).

6:30 PM:  But working families will allow big banks and oil companies to do what they want. Food Stamp recipients didn't cause Wall Street; those decisions were made by average families who sit in Board Rooms. Workers need more, not less. Rules should work for them or be fired. I want to spread Best Practices, like Best Foods, across America with a giant Best-Spreader.

How do we ignite things sixty years ago? America is every immigrant racer in Silicon Valley; that's who we are. More low-income students and online tools will be brought together, but we can do so much more. Vice-President Biden worked with the National Science Guys to do things to cure cancer.

(Applause for Joe, whose son died from cancer -- but not from Little Paulie, sitting right next to him.  Inhuman Stupid Fucker = cruel).

6:35 PM:  Ever if the planet was 2014, even if it wasn't Global Warm 'n Toasty, would you pass up the chance to make a buck off of it? (Applause) Seven years ago we made investments in fields, and on rooftops and in jobs that, by the way, environmentalists and Tea Parteigenossen have come together to support (Applause).

Now we must accelerate, especially in communities that are fossilized. That's why I will push to reflect taxpayers, putting money and workers in those communities (Applause, but never from the Thugs). The planet, we will preserve, and that's for our kids. How am I doin'?

6:40 PM:  All the rhetoric about our enemies getting stronger? The United States Of America Has the biggest Dick in the Universe (Applause) We spend more on our military, our troops have all the Morse in the history of the world;  nobody fucks with us because they know they don't call Bejing or Moscow, people call us. It's useful, because it's a dangerous time.

The Middle East dates back to economic headwinds in China that are contracting in Russia or Ukraine, and slipping away. The international system built after WW2 won't keep pace with us. We have to remake that system, with priorities.

(1)Protecting America's networks. Both Al-Kiadea and Eyesil use the Internet, and we have to focus on destroying them, but its not WW3. Guys on the back of pickup trucks? They're not a threat to our national existence. They don't represent Islam (Applause, but not from the Rethugs). We have to be rooted out. (Applause)

6:45 PM:  If you people are serious about taking out ISIL, vote for it. The American people should know that justice can be done -- just ask any of the people we've taken out in drone strikes.  We remember stuff and we'll just wait for you. Our foreign policy is focused on the threat of Eyesil, everywhere; many places may become new safe havens for The Bad. The world will look to us to solve everything.

Fortunately, there is a smarter approach; America will always act -- it's why we have Hollywood. That's our approach to places like Syria, where we can't seem to pull a coalition together;  but look at Iran -- where we asked them not to build a bomb but they can jack up our navy as if they were North Korea and we will let them because Freedom.

The Pacific Trade Agreement is the right thing because so many Rich People want it. It will mean Good Jobs at Good Wages. Pass it, like a kidney stone. Call for a vote on the environment if you're so tough. The point is, American leadership is not where we kill terrorists or occupy things. It means around the world that we see our national security is in leaving nearly 200 nations to themselves.

The power of example is American leadership, rejecting any policies that targets people because of race or religion (Applause, but -- you know. Fuck these people). The world respects us for our diversity. Pope Francis told us that imitating murderers is the best way to take their place. When Mosques are vandalized, we aren't safer  -- here, anyway.  It betrays who we are as a country (Little Paulie refuses to applaud).

We The People -- our Constitution, we recognize as insisting we rise and fall together, so we can perfect our nation. So here's number 4:  The future, all of it, in it's glowing and pustulent glory, is within our reach, but it will only happen -- and I'm on a roll, preacher-style, now -- if a better politics is needed. I'll try to be better, my fellow Murikans.

7:00 PM:  Good people in this chamber want things to be elevated but feel trapped by the noise comin' out of your face. It's the worst-kept secret in Washington. But if we want better politics, it isn't enough to change our leaders, we need to change the system (Democratic applause). At least nobody is yelling, "You Lie!" at me this time.

This is America (looks around, as if unsure). But changes in our political process aren't just Who gets elected, but how, and when the American people demand it.

The problem is, all the folks who were elected believe our actions and words don't matter. People with money and power want greater control. And as frustration grows, voices will urge us to become tribal, and we can't afford it because the economy contradicts everything that makes us who we are. Whether you supported my agenda or not, our collective futures count on you to stand up for the weak. Somebody, somewhere, stood up for us.

7:05 PM: When I am no longer in this office, I will have traveled so far.  I will hear the voices -- immigrant, straight, native born gay, and Doctor King -- they don't have a lot of potential, they don't say a lot, but I hear them. All the time. In daily acts of citizenship.  I see the worker clocking, the boss paying, and the dreamer who stays up late. And the early teacher, because she knows a grrl may cure a disease. The brave, private work of keeping us safe.

I see us all. None of them understand that elections have been bought out from under them, but that's the America I know.  Unconditional -- because I believe in the American people. I am as confident that I am, God bless you.

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Little Norah O'Donnell reminds us that Herr Obama "seemed defensive at many points", and has an overall approval rating of 45% (Norah's overall approval rating is 10, but we're not here for that). So cruel, Little Norah.

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The Rethug Response
 

(The Reptilian response was delivered by Governor Nikki Haley of South Carolina, a god-fearing, non-Caucasian female.)

Good evening. I am from a capitol of our state. It's rich, and in just a minute I want to say just a few words about Barack Obama. They may be bad words. He inspired millions, just as Herr Hilter did, and he had respect, but sadly the Prestident's office feels the squeeze of health care and crushing debt, and chaotic unrest. Even worse, we are facing a terratrist threat he is unable or unwilling to dealt with. No one can keep you safe but paid killers, those without principle or moral order. So thank god you have Repustlicans then.

Now let's talk about the future, and neither am I. You and I are frustrated, and it has built up year after year. We need to be honest -- Democrats bear all the responsibility, but so do others, though I don't say who, though I mean Trumpolina.

We need to accept erosion, and in the foundation of America, which never went anywhere. It's right here. I am the proud owner of living in this country, growing up a Foreign Darkie in the rural South, as long as we were willing to work for it. And we had each other or else.

Our shores have been here for generations for people, time and again. Today, we have recent memory. In ancient times, we resisted the temptation to allow our tradition to open our borders. We can't allow immigrants -- and I am kind of an immigrant, telling you -- we must stop it, and welcome the legal people. I have no doubt we can protect our sentinels, all true to America's noblest something.

On an ordinary Wednesday evening, people came and joined us. They didn't sound like us or look like us but were pregnant and what happened after the tragedy we must remember. Our people had violence, but had vigilance because we turned towards god -- the things that divide us. The hate that filled up. God of money, god of vengeance.

In many parts of society, the media has a tendency to think some people must be the loudest voice to make a difference. And it can make a world of difference. Republicans will stand up loudly in the room, for our beliefs. We will be heard, and all about America. We will do everything, as we have always said we would -- but this time, we are actually letting you keep your dog.

As a cornerstone of our Democracy, again, we have a Second Amendment celebrated, and not the other way around. An armed country will make others think twice. We would actually strengthen our military. Because when we fight, we win, except for Vietnam and Iraq and Afghanistan and Kent State.

Our forefathers weighed us. America; the finest country for men -- and women !

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And for all the rest of us -- The Smell Of Inevitability is ahead.  Fasten your seat belts:

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