Thursday, July 22, 2010
More Fun For You
A self-explanatory graphic, courtesy of The Wall Street Cheat Sheet, regarding business closings across the United States since The Crash: Where, but more importantly, why...
Run For Your F______ Lives
This little video has been making the rounds:
It was made by those Grand Folks at The Onion, and purports to be a member of Congress reading a law which allows bizarre forms of martial law in the case of a Classified virus outbreak leading to [Classified] and eating of human brains [Classified].
Aside from the reminder that we're always one announcement away from a christian fundamentalist theocracy that would make Ceauşescu's Romania look like Disneyland, I'm almost sorry it's not real because the production values are so high. The actor they hired to portray "Representative John Haller" is spot-on.
Another reason I'm sorry it's not real: Back in my child-time, the original Outer Limits series debuted in 1964. An episode that caught my attention was "The Architects Of Fear", which starred a young Robert Culp (about to hit stardom with Bill Cosby in the teevee series, I Spy) as a scientist-member of a group who believe Earth's warring humans would unite -- if faced with the threat of an alien invasion.
When the group decides they will create their own alien and have it appear with murderous intent, Culp pulls the short straw (literally), and is slowly transformed, physically, into a hideous mound of latex and paper-mache. His mission is to crash-land a spacecraft on the mall in front of the United Nations building and make people believe he is just the first -- sort of an uglier, more ill-tempered Klaatu.
Robert Culp, Hoping For Better Roles, 1964.
Sadly, he misses his mark and ends up crashing in a swamp not far from his own home (What are the odds? Outer Limits was always doing this kind of thing), and his wife rushes to find him... Hey, buy the video if you want to know how it ends.
But, watching The Onion's creation, I begin to wonder if it wouldn't take something like an alien invasion, or a zombie infestation, to get people to pay attention to our common humanity and leave the past behind, or else get eaten. Just Sayin'.
It was made by those Grand Folks at The Onion, and purports to be a member of Congress reading a law which allows bizarre forms of martial law in the case of a Classified virus outbreak leading to [Classified] and eating of human brains [Classified].
Aside from the reminder that we're always one announcement away from a christian fundamentalist theocracy that would make Ceauşescu's Romania look like Disneyland, I'm almost sorry it's not real because the production values are so high. The actor they hired to portray "Representative John Haller" is spot-on.
Another reason I'm sorry it's not real: Back in my child-time, the original Outer Limits series debuted in 1964. An episode that caught my attention was "The Architects Of Fear", which starred a young Robert Culp (about to hit stardom with Bill Cosby in the teevee series, I Spy) as a scientist-member of a group who believe Earth's warring humans would unite -- if faced with the threat of an alien invasion.
When the group decides they will create their own alien and have it appear with murderous intent, Culp pulls the short straw (literally), and is slowly transformed, physically, into a hideous mound of latex and paper-mache. His mission is to crash-land a spacecraft on the mall in front of the United Nations building and make people believe he is just the first -- sort of an uglier, more ill-tempered Klaatu.
Robert Culp, Hoping For Better Roles, 1964.
Sadly, he misses his mark and ends up crashing in a swamp not far from his own home (What are the odds? Outer Limits was always doing this kind of thing), and his wife rushes to find him... Hey, buy the video if you want to know how it ends.
But, watching The Onion's creation, I begin to wonder if it wouldn't take something like an alien invasion, or a zombie infestation, to get people to pay attention to our common humanity and leave the past behind, or else get eaten. Just Sayin'.
Monday, July 19, 2010
Salon's Top 10 Internet-Fueled Conspiracy Theories
You Like The Konspiratoria? We Make For You.
By I. Rabschinski
Hokay; Listen what I am telling you: Salon, magazine for Internet I am looking at, has posted article they are calling 'Top Ten Internet-Fueled Conspiracies'.
You should also be paying money to these people. They do The Good. But it is like some much else in The Life: You have the money, you have nice little hot towels with dinner and the better waitress. For Salon, you pay the special membership and you do not see all the Advertising.
I have boil on bottom of foot about advertising on Internet. It is like someone talk behind you at the movies! You want to make empty the container of popcorn, roll cardboard box in tube, and shove tube in place that makes total jerkhead idiot behind you speak language which is not the Human. But, you do this and the Polizia will ask you give them your belt and shoelaces. But.
What the Salon says is Internet was The Good for the Konspiratoria -- you have crazy idea? Good for you. Put on Internet! Proof, you don't need. They are also saying that big-time Konspiratu gets to live again on Internet and never die. Like my Uncle Yehudi, who likes you to hit him with heavy book until he does not stand up. But still we love him.
Well; I am thinking, I have my own idea of The Big Konspiratu, and also thinking I would tell you, maybe, because this is new week to make working, and is mid-cykle election thing ho boy I don't care, and second decade of new Century, and time to wash clothing also. What else we going to do? Win Lotto? Work with actual adult thinking guy? Believe me; this is not your fate in the life.
So, listen up, Bubchick: here is being The Big Konspiratoriskaya. All for you. Read; you will learn things. Or, maybe not learning; I don't care.
Big Konspiratoriskaya Theory Nr. 1:
Assassination Of The JFK, November 22, 1963
John F. Kennedy, Tells Assassins: Shoot, And You Get Bush Guy
(Original Photo: Reuters)
This is big, big, big Konspiratorskaya. This is like Juice Glass Of The Jesus Guy for the people looking in the Konspiracy, you know?
Basically, everybody knows of this unless they are dead or from the Uzbekistan (Also couple guys from the Moldova who live down street to me, but to be fair I am thinking they might know): Amerikanyets Guy, President Kennedy Guy -- Goot Guy; Nize Guy -- is travelling to the Dallas of Texas and boom boom boom, is dead Guy.
Look, Amerikan people: No way this is happening without lots of people being guilty also. Lots and lots. You are thinking Amerika is this new place, where everything different and is not like the old Europe with powerful Guys who kill the king when they don't like. Amerika is The Good; and everybody gets to drive the Buik, and be eating chicken head on the cob and the Pone of Corn, and be in the Beaver House with the Wally and Wife of the Cleaver and live forever.
Sorry my friend, but No Way is like this. You have been wearing the mustard stain from big non-Kosher hot dog your whole life, and now, rest of the Planet tells you Wake up, idiot! Be Guy -- Don't Be That Guy!. Oh, and there is also no Tooth Fairy or Golem. But I tell you, Amerika is place where they can shoot you if They don't like, even if you are President Guy, and only with big Konspiratu can this happen. More than one guy be killing JFK, you bet.
Everybody on entire planet (except for people I mention) knows big Konspiratu happened to kill this Guy -- but if you are admitting this, and saying Yes! Big Amerikanyets CIA Guys and Big Money Rich People says this guy is dead, so he is. What happens in Amerika? You think Stock Market goes up, maybe? Not even, buddih! People would know U.S.A. history even before 1963 is big sack of bad corn flakes everybody has been forced to eat.
They would feel lied to, like someone is Cheating them for fifty years -- kill President Guy and get away with it. And maybe people decide, then, is time for the Revolutsyia and everything is big mess for like years. Believing me, we know about this.
However, there are people who have made up the Konspiratu of their own about this, understand? They have President Kennedy Guy being killed by the space alien, by the Elvis; or Gremlin From The Kremlin But Coming From The Cuba. The Internets make it possible you can read any of these, but don't waste time -- I can show you who is second gun guy from Grassy Hill Place. Look:
Total Honest Untouching The Photo Of Grassy Hill Place
Immediately After Boom Boom In The Dallas, Texas, 1963
See? Now there is whole new Konspiracy, with JFK Guy killed by fake advertising food selling Guy. And that is how Internets work.
Big Konspiratoriskaya Theory Nr. 2:
Amerikanyets Guys Go To Place Of Moon, July, 1969
So You Want To Go To Moon, Or Maybe Warehouse In The Ohio --
Neil Armstrong Guy And Actual Flag He Takes To Moon
(Original Photo: NASA)
This Konspiratu is like piece of truth, and big crap taken by donkey; understand what I am saying?
So, like in summertime these Amerikanyets Astronaut Guys get in big tube, and are travelling to actual Moon. When they are going there, they land and shake the hand and maybe sleep, maybe go to bathroom and read the newspaper. Then, two of Astronaut Guy get out, and are stepping down to Moon, while third Guy stays in the tube with microphone turned off so entire planet does not hear him crying like small girl.
So the first Guy walking on actual Moon, Astronaut Neil Armstrong Guy ("This is being little walk for human, and big marathon type thing for everybody; okay"), is also member of the Masonic Guys, being this secret club -- like having subscription to magazine of the special porno, or having the black Amerikanyets Express card and sitting in The Good Chairs at airport. And, this Neil Armstrong brings with him to Moon a flag of these Masonic Guys, and he puts it up on Moon also. Then, he folds up and brings back for his pals, who make big dinner and give him the secret head-rub.
Where is problem? So, he takes flag with big chicken; Mason Guys so happy. So what? Well, Mason Guys are big Konspirator, secret guys who are Kombinator, you know? Guys who have the control of world from the Secret Places. So Neil Armstrong is making the secret claim of Moon for Masonic Guys.
There is also another Konspiratu from before, which is saying Astronaut Guys never go to real actual Moon, that whole thing is put-on, Hollywood Avatar James Cameron kind of thing made in same airport hangar where they keep animal balloon from Macy parade. And -- like always, these people -- they gots plenty of the proof.
Gottenu; Please. I need bucket for the vomiting. These people need to make the life, go on date with girl, or worry about The Global Heating. Even my uncle Yehudi understands that if there is big Konspiratskaya, is not guys with secret head-rub.
Big Konspiratoriskaya Theory Nr. 3:
Good-By Super Big 9-11 Buildings In The New York
Wave To Mama: Fake Foto Of The 9-11, All Over Internets
Okay. This is simple, and all people not part of the Al-Kada know this: September the 11, 2001, HAL9000 computer did not go Ape and try to ruin Jupiter mission to meet the big black box that United Nations building came in. Instead bunch of Very Bad Guys who are hating most of Earth get planes and run them into World Trade Center Place. Both places fall down, big big big mess.
Oh, and Small Boots Guy, Bush President, suddenly is big leader with large penis, and soon will invade the Iraq and hoo boy, next thing you know, we are living in Sick Animal Dizneyland with the Sarah Palin and more than 9% unemployment, and Obama President Guy looks like he has Made Sex With The Dog. Or, Screwed Pooch, maybe.
Sadly, that is not the Konspiratu. People on Internets (and that is where this big story is different from other Konspiracy) say that whole thing is fake; World Trade Buildings are wired up with bombs to make collapsing; people on planes were taken to the secret place and nobody has died. And they have all kinds of the video and photos to prove. Lots and lots. However, this proves very little to families of all the people who jumped out of big 9-11 buildings.
Problem -- these Konspiracy people have not gone to bathroom since 2003, and so cannot make clear thinking.
Big Konspiratoriskaya Theory Nr. 4:
Current President Guy Is Really Secret Muslim Foreign Guy
(Photo: Productshopnyc)
Hoo Boy: Obama, President Guy Of U.S., is really born in Africa, and there is big covering up of this fact.
So he is an illegal President Guy, and so people playing with teabags and guys who like the gunz can make war on this illegal government Presidental Guy.
My only big surprise is that these people with the gun and playing with their bags are not also somehow claiming also is Konspiratu made by the Jews. But, I am sure, they will be doing this sooner or later. Always, they do.
Please, bring bucket again.
Big Konspiratoriskaya Theory Nr. 5:
Big Queen Family Of The Britain Is Murdering Tall Blonde Girl
French Friends Letting Other French Friends Drive Drunk
This one? Simple. Royal Kind Of The England People, like the Tsar before Soviet Guys shot him and threw him into mine shaft (weird, because they are related to Tsar), did not like the Princess Diana, mother of boy who will maybe be King of the England, to be having the bouncy sex with Egyptian Dodi Guy. So, they chase car with her inside and force to crash; boom boom, no more Diana.
Ahh; I have pain in my personal ass with this: Driver of car, French Guy, had sucked up enough alkohol to knock out half of Red Army Chorus and Band (and that is big doing, Buddih, let me tell you). I mean, look: There is all kinds video this French driver Guy doing like Tequila shooters or something before he goes to make driving.
He was driving because he was stupid asshole driver of stupid rich Guy, and crashed because he was drunk like three guys. Simple, but sad also.
But sometime you know, simple is what you get. Not big Konspiacy.
Big Konspiratoriskaya Theory Nr. 6:
Gremlins From Da Kremlin
You know, everybody wants the Aliens. If aliens bring spaceship to some place, and say, 'We must talk to President Guy' -- well, how can life be always the same afterwards? Maybe we get nicer with each other and do not make the Bullshit so often. We ask them nice, "Mister Alien Guy, could you maybe to help us save the Planet from the Global Heating?" And they will say, 'Yes Earth people; we have always like your television'.
Probably, saucers will fly from my butt before that will happen. More, I think, maybe we just try and kill Aliens because they are not like us -- only after we take from them the Tekno things they have, so we can build death ray to kill all the Enemy, or something. You know how the Earth people are.
But, everybody is agreeing: Aliens have come to this place, and They are like meeting in secret and planning to enslave world -- and there is actual Guy in the England who says all world leaders are really seven-foot-tall Reptilian Alien Guys (Sad Vlad The Putin is Reptile? Yes; this I can believe. Angela Merkle? Viktor Sarkozy Guy? Ha ha ha ha; no way, buddih). They give us little bit of the Tekno stuff, and we give them planet -- and they have known all of this since the Roswell.
This is the other Jesus Juice Glass for the Konspiratskaya: In some time the 1947, New Mexico place in U.S.A., alien flying saucer is crashing on land of some ranch Guy near little town of Roswell. There is Air Force of the U.S.A. base not far away, and they come to look. And they take pieces of spaceship -- one Air Force Guy takes them to his house, and his son remembers things about them. Air Force Guys even tell local reporting newspaper Guy from the Roswell about "Flying Saucer" crashing.
Also, there were the dead aliens. Maybe one, maybe three; also story that another one is still alive when they find. But they are what everybody like to call now The Greys -- little grey bodies with big head and big black eyes like Trick Owl From The Bad Film.
This is kind of like any of the Konspiracy -- you want, you don't want. Depends on how bad you wish to believe about aliens.
I ask my uncle Yehudi about Aliens. You think? I ask him. He says, "It explains why the civilization of Humans has become bad after canceling television show, 'The Mister Ed'" But wait -- this happens forty years ago, I tell him. "Exactly!" he says.
Wilbur Channels The Bob Newheart: Uncle Yehudi Likes
(Photo: The Weekly Telegraph Online)
And -- the U.S. of A. Air Force waits thirty kind of years to release report which says, Hey, this was only big weather balloon (funny; this is exactly what they say in the 1947) -- but was part of secret project to do something to Soviet people. I am thinking this smells like bad food or good cheese. Whole thing, all this Tsursis, for weather ballooning? For Cold War Good Red Is Dead Red kind of time?
Maybe. Me, I'm still kind of wondering so much. One thing I tell you: Those lights that make funny kind of hovering flying around, where people can see? Coming from the Area 51? The Tekno in those flying kind of things comes from the someplace. I am thinking not Odessa.
Big Konspiratoriskaya Theory Nr. 7:
We Gots Lot Of Oil -- AHH! No, We Don't
The Peak Oil: Walking Is Good For You
(Photo: The Big Picture, 2008)
There is theory, saying that oil -- made from retired dinosaurs who gave their lives for world auto industry -- is going away. You know that place, when you drink the really good milkshake, like Malted (Oh, the creamy; so good. You want one. Go, now); and there is this moment when you realize more than half this Malted is gone?
And you can imagine what it will be like when you have sucked up all this Malted and there is no more? And all The Good, the creamy, is just memory? So it gets hard to enjoy last half of Malted when you realize it cannot be Malted Milk forever?
This is what is the Peak Oil. Is truth? Is made-up story by Big Oil Companies? What; you think I am knowing this? Eat your lunch and shut up.
Big Konspiratoriskaya Theory Nr. 8:
You Make Money From This Jesus Guy? Goot Boy; Nize Boy
Code Brown! (Photo: Reuters / Alessia Pierdomenico via Salon)
This one is good one, the Konspiratu, because it makes the Konspiracy inside other Konspiracy. You cannot prove one without prove the other. Tricky!
Okay; Long time ago, in the galaxy far, far in some other plaze, there was this Jesus Guy. Not The Messiah, but probably way up there. And as the usual, add bunch of arabs, and Romans, plus the Politik (always, the f______ politik), and boom boom boom, Jesus Guy gets crucified. Or maybe not. And he maybe had girlfriend who had been the Big-Time Ho. Or maybe not. And she is being pregnant, and goes on big boat to South of France (very Nize For Her, the vacation), where is born Son Of The Jesus™.
(I am waiting for movie version: Son Of The Jesus: Part III -- The Revenge. Better than "Despicable Me!" I would bet.)
So, this is big-time secret. If true, then whole christian religion thing starts to look like just Business thing cooked up to make the power and little German guys get to wear the special white Yarmulke of the Pope Guy. More bad bags of the corn flakes we are forced to eat, I am thinking.
So couple British Guy write book in 1980's about this big secret -- later, other people show is put-on, but for a while, these Guys make the money. Then comes this Dan Brown Guy, who writes like the smell from tail of Donkey, this other book, The DaVinci Code, which is like the big-seller and makes him richer than J.K. Rowling, even. Then there is movie with the Tom Hanks, who has lost hair and makes the fat now.
Only Konspiratu here is the one made by the Dan Brown and people who print his books -- is conspiracy to take your money, give you handfull of crap; joke is on you, Clown-Boy. Dan Brown Guy gets lots of money, and in ten years his books is taking up space in the landfill in Singapore.
The rest of the Konspiratskaya I will be adding shortly.
I, Rabschinski, say this -- to Moldavish Guy; you also.
By I. Rabschinski
Hokay; Listen what I am telling you: Salon, magazine for Internet I am looking at, has posted article they are calling 'Top Ten Internet-Fueled Conspiracies'.
You should also be paying money to these people. They do The Good. But it is like some much else in The Life: You have the money, you have nice little hot towels with dinner and the better waitress. For Salon, you pay the special membership and you do not see all the Advertising.
I have boil on bottom of foot about advertising on Internet. It is like someone talk behind you at the movies! You want to make empty the container of popcorn, roll cardboard box in tube, and shove tube in place that makes total jerkhead idiot behind you speak language which is not the Human. But, you do this and the Polizia will ask you give them your belt and shoelaces. But.
What the Salon says is Internet was The Good for the Konspiratoria -- you have crazy idea? Good for you. Put on Internet! Proof, you don't need. They are also saying that big-time Konspiratu gets to live again on Internet and never die. Like my Uncle Yehudi, who likes you to hit him with heavy book until he does not stand up. But still we love him.
Well; I am thinking, I have my own idea of The Big Konspiratu, and also thinking I would tell you, maybe, because this is new week to make working, and is mid-cykle election thing ho boy I don't care, and second decade of new Century, and time to wash clothing also. What else we going to do? Win Lotto? Work with actual adult thinking guy? Believe me; this is not your fate in the life.
So, listen up, Bubchick: here is being The Big Konspiratoriskaya. All for you. Read; you will learn things. Or, maybe not learning; I don't care.
Big Konspiratoriskaya Theory Nr. 1:
Assassination Of The JFK, November 22, 1963
John F. Kennedy, Tells Assassins: Shoot, And You Get Bush Guy
(Original Photo: Reuters)
This is big, big, big Konspiratorskaya. This is like Juice Glass Of The Jesus Guy for the people looking in the Konspiracy, you know?
Basically, everybody knows of this unless they are dead or from the Uzbekistan (Also couple guys from the Moldova who live down street to me, but to be fair I am thinking they might know): Amerikanyets Guy, President Kennedy Guy -- Goot Guy; Nize Guy -- is travelling to the Dallas of Texas and boom boom boom, is dead Guy.
Look, Amerikan people: No way this is happening without lots of people being guilty also. Lots and lots. You are thinking Amerika is this new place, where everything different and is not like the old Europe with powerful Guys who kill the king when they don't like. Amerika is The Good; and everybody gets to drive the Buik, and be eating chicken head on the cob and the Pone of Corn, and be in the Beaver House with the Wally and Wife of the Cleaver and live forever.
Sorry my friend, but No Way is like this. You have been wearing the mustard stain from big non-Kosher hot dog your whole life, and now, rest of the Planet tells you Wake up, idiot! Be Guy -- Don't Be That Guy!. Oh, and there is also no Tooth Fairy or Golem. But I tell you, Amerika is place where they can shoot you if They don't like, even if you are President Guy, and only with big Konspiratu can this happen. More than one guy be killing JFK, you bet.
Everybody on entire planet (except for people I mention) knows big Konspiratu happened to kill this Guy -- but if you are admitting this, and saying Yes! Big Amerikanyets CIA Guys and Big Money Rich People says this guy is dead, so he is. What happens in Amerika? You think Stock Market goes up, maybe? Not even, buddih! People would know U.S.A. history even before 1963 is big sack of bad corn flakes everybody has been forced to eat.
They would feel lied to, like someone is Cheating them for fifty years -- kill President Guy and get away with it. And maybe people decide, then, is time for the Revolutsyia and everything is big mess for like years. Believing me, we know about this.
However, there are people who have made up the Konspiratu of their own about this, understand? They have President Kennedy Guy being killed by the space alien, by the Elvis; or Gremlin From The Kremlin But Coming From The Cuba. The Internets make it possible you can read any of these, but don't waste time -- I can show you who is second gun guy from Grassy Hill Place. Look:
Total Honest Untouching The Photo Of Grassy Hill Place
Immediately After Boom Boom In The Dallas, Texas, 1963
See? Now there is whole new Konspiracy, with JFK Guy killed by fake advertising food selling Guy. And that is how Internets work.
Big Konspiratoriskaya Theory Nr. 2:
Amerikanyets Guys Go To Place Of Moon, July, 1969
So You Want To Go To Moon, Or Maybe Warehouse In The Ohio --
Neil Armstrong Guy And Actual Flag He Takes To Moon
(Original Photo: NASA)
This Konspiratu is like piece of truth, and big crap taken by donkey; understand what I am saying?
So, like in summertime these Amerikanyets Astronaut Guys get in big tube, and are travelling to actual Moon. When they are going there, they land and shake the hand and maybe sleep, maybe go to bathroom and read the newspaper. Then, two of Astronaut Guy get out, and are stepping down to Moon, while third Guy stays in the tube with microphone turned off so entire planet does not hear him crying like small girl.
So the first Guy walking on actual Moon, Astronaut Neil Armstrong Guy ("This is being little walk for human, and big marathon type thing for everybody; okay"), is also member of the Masonic Guys, being this secret club -- like having subscription to magazine of the special porno, or having the black Amerikanyets Express card and sitting in The Good Chairs at airport. And, this Neil Armstrong brings with him to Moon a flag of these Masonic Guys, and he puts it up on Moon also. Then, he folds up and brings back for his pals, who make big dinner and give him the secret head-rub.
Where is problem? So, he takes flag with big chicken; Mason Guys so happy. So what? Well, Mason Guys are big Konspirator, secret guys who are Kombinator, you know? Guys who have the control of world from the Secret Places. So Neil Armstrong is making the secret claim of Moon for Masonic Guys.
There is also another Konspiratu from before, which is saying Astronaut Guys never go to real actual Moon, that whole thing is put-on, Hollywood Avatar James Cameron kind of thing made in same airport hangar where they keep animal balloon from Macy parade. And -- like always, these people -- they gots plenty of the proof.
Gottenu; Please. I need bucket for the vomiting. These people need to make the life, go on date with girl, or worry about The Global Heating. Even my uncle Yehudi understands that if there is big Konspiratskaya, is not guys with secret head-rub.
Big Konspiratoriskaya Theory Nr. 3:
Good-By Super Big 9-11 Buildings In The New York
Wave To Mama: Fake Foto Of The 9-11, All Over Internets
Okay. This is simple, and all people not part of the Al-Kada know this: September the 11, 2001, HAL9000 computer did not go Ape and try to ruin Jupiter mission to meet the big black box that United Nations building came in. Instead bunch of Very Bad Guys who are hating most of Earth get planes and run them into World Trade Center Place. Both places fall down, big big big mess.
Oh, and Small Boots Guy, Bush President, suddenly is big leader with large penis, and soon will invade the Iraq and hoo boy, next thing you know, we are living in Sick Animal Dizneyland with the Sarah Palin and more than 9% unemployment, and Obama President Guy looks like he has Made Sex With The Dog. Or, Screwed Pooch, maybe.
Sadly, that is not the Konspiratu. People on Internets (and that is where this big story is different from other Konspiracy) say that whole thing is fake; World Trade Buildings are wired up with bombs to make collapsing; people on planes were taken to the secret place and nobody has died. And they have all kinds of the video and photos to prove. Lots and lots. However, this proves very little to families of all the people who jumped out of big 9-11 buildings.
Problem -- these Konspiracy people have not gone to bathroom since 2003, and so cannot make clear thinking.
Big Konspiratoriskaya Theory Nr. 4:
Current President Guy Is Really Secret Muslim Foreign Guy
(Photo: Productshopnyc)
Hoo Boy: Obama, President Guy Of U.S., is really born in Africa, and there is big covering up of this fact.
So he is an illegal President Guy, and so people playing with teabags and guys who like the gunz can make war on this illegal government Presidental Guy.
My only big surprise is that these people with the gun and playing with their bags are not also somehow claiming also is Konspiratu made by the Jews. But, I am sure, they will be doing this sooner or later. Always, they do.
Please, bring bucket again.
Big Konspiratoriskaya Theory Nr. 5:
Big Queen Family Of The Britain Is Murdering Tall Blonde Girl
French Friends Letting Other French Friends Drive Drunk
This one? Simple. Royal Kind Of The England People, like the Tsar before Soviet Guys shot him and threw him into mine shaft (weird, because they are related to Tsar), did not like the Princess Diana, mother of boy who will maybe be King of the England, to be having the bouncy sex with Egyptian Dodi Guy. So, they chase car with her inside and force to crash; boom boom, no more Diana.
Ahh; I have pain in my personal ass with this: Driver of car, French Guy, had sucked up enough alkohol to knock out half of Red Army Chorus and Band (and that is big doing, Buddih, let me tell you). I mean, look: There is all kinds video this French driver Guy doing like Tequila shooters or something before he goes to make driving.
He was driving because he was stupid asshole driver of stupid rich Guy, and crashed because he was drunk like three guys. Simple, but sad also.
But sometime you know, simple is what you get. Not big Konspiacy.
Big Konspiratoriskaya Theory Nr. 6:
Gremlins From Da Kremlin
You know, everybody wants the Aliens. If aliens bring spaceship to some place, and say, 'We must talk to President Guy' -- well, how can life be always the same afterwards? Maybe we get nicer with each other and do not make the Bullshit so often. We ask them nice, "Mister Alien Guy, could you maybe to help us save the Planet from the Global Heating?" And they will say, 'Yes Earth people; we have always like your television'.
Probably, saucers will fly from my butt before that will happen. More, I think, maybe we just try and kill Aliens because they are not like us -- only after we take from them the Tekno things they have, so we can build death ray to kill all the Enemy, or something. You know how the Earth people are.
But, everybody is agreeing: Aliens have come to this place, and They are like meeting in secret and planning to enslave world -- and there is actual Guy in the England who says all world leaders are really seven-foot-tall Reptilian Alien Guys (Sad Vlad The Putin is Reptile? Yes; this I can believe. Angela Merkle? Viktor Sarkozy Guy? Ha ha ha ha; no way, buddih). They give us little bit of the Tekno stuff, and we give them planet -- and they have known all of this since the Roswell.
This is the other Jesus Juice Glass for the Konspiratskaya: In some time the 1947, New Mexico place in U.S.A., alien flying saucer is crashing on land of some ranch Guy near little town of Roswell. There is Air Force of the U.S.A. base not far away, and they come to look. And they take pieces of spaceship -- one Air Force Guy takes them to his house, and his son remembers things about them. Air Force Guys even tell local reporting newspaper Guy from the Roswell about "Flying Saucer" crashing.
Also, there were the dead aliens. Maybe one, maybe three; also story that another one is still alive when they find. But they are what everybody like to call now The Greys -- little grey bodies with big head and big black eyes like Trick Owl From The Bad Film.
This is kind of like any of the Konspiracy -- you want, you don't want. Depends on how bad you wish to believe about aliens.
I ask my uncle Yehudi about Aliens. You think? I ask him. He says, "It explains why the civilization of Humans has become bad after canceling television show, 'The Mister Ed'" But wait -- this happens forty years ago, I tell him. "Exactly!" he says.
Wilbur Channels The Bob Newheart: Uncle Yehudi Likes
(Photo: The Weekly Telegraph Online)
And -- the U.S. of A. Air Force waits thirty kind of years to release report which says, Hey, this was only big weather balloon (funny; this is exactly what they say in the 1947) -- but was part of secret project to do something to Soviet people. I am thinking this smells like bad food or good cheese. Whole thing, all this Tsursis, for weather ballooning? For Cold War Good Red Is Dead Red kind of time?
Maybe. Me, I'm still kind of wondering so much. One thing I tell you: Those lights that make funny kind of hovering flying around, where people can see? Coming from the Area 51? The Tekno in those flying kind of things comes from the someplace. I am thinking not Odessa.
Big Konspiratoriskaya Theory Nr. 7:
We Gots Lot Of Oil -- AHH! No, We Don't
The Peak Oil: Walking Is Good For You
(Photo: The Big Picture, 2008)
There is theory, saying that oil -- made from retired dinosaurs who gave their lives for world auto industry -- is going away. You know that place, when you drink the really good milkshake, like Malted (Oh, the creamy; so good. You want one. Go, now); and there is this moment when you realize more than half this Malted is gone?
And you can imagine what it will be like when you have sucked up all this Malted and there is no more? And all The Good, the creamy, is just memory? So it gets hard to enjoy last half of Malted when you realize it cannot be Malted Milk forever?
This is what is the Peak Oil. Is truth? Is made-up story by Big Oil Companies? What; you think I am knowing this? Eat your lunch and shut up.
Big Konspiratoriskaya Theory Nr. 8:
You Make Money From This Jesus Guy? Goot Boy; Nize Boy
Code Brown! (Photo: Reuters / Alessia Pierdomenico via Salon)
This one is good one, the Konspiratu, because it makes the Konspiracy inside other Konspiracy. You cannot prove one without prove the other. Tricky!
Okay; Long time ago, in the galaxy far, far in some other plaze, there was this Jesus Guy. Not The Messiah, but probably way up there. And as the usual, add bunch of arabs, and Romans, plus the Politik (always, the f______ politik), and boom boom boom, Jesus Guy gets crucified. Or maybe not. And he maybe had girlfriend who had been the Big-Time Ho. Or maybe not. And she is being pregnant, and goes on big boat to South of France (very Nize For Her, the vacation), where is born Son Of The Jesus™.
(I am waiting for movie version: Son Of The Jesus: Part III -- The Revenge. Better than "Despicable Me!" I would bet.)
So, this is big-time secret. If true, then whole christian religion thing starts to look like just Business thing cooked up to make the power and little German guys get to wear the special white Yarmulke of the Pope Guy. More bad bags of the corn flakes we are forced to eat, I am thinking.
So couple British Guy write book in 1980's about this big secret -- later, other people show is put-on, but for a while, these Guys make the money. Then comes this Dan Brown Guy, who writes like the smell from tail of Donkey, this other book, The DaVinci Code, which is like the big-seller and makes him richer than J.K. Rowling, even. Then there is movie with the Tom Hanks, who has lost hair and makes the fat now.
Only Konspiratu here is the one made by the Dan Brown and people who print his books -- is conspiracy to take your money, give you handfull of crap; joke is on you, Clown-Boy. Dan Brown Guy gets lots of money, and in ten years his books is taking up space in the landfill in Singapore.
The rest of the Konspiratskaya I will be adding shortly.
I, Rabschinski, say this -- to Moldavish Guy; you also.
Friday, July 16, 2010
More Random Barking Weekly Roundup
- Remember -- the Cossacks work for the Tsar.
-- Paul Krugman; Nobel Laureate, Economics, and You're Not - Timmeh !! and Tubby Larry !! Really do Care About You. (Snicker)
- Harvey Peckar, Artist and Human Being, passed away this week.
- Robots Do What Robots Do, Far Beneath The Sea.
- Lindsay Lohan, Girl and Semi-Pro Alcoholic, is going to jail (Yawn).
- Goldman-Sachs, The Vampire Squid of the Wall Street investment world, agreed to pay a half-billion-dollar settlement to the U.S. government and the SEC in the civil fraud case filed a month ago.
Thursday, July 15, 2010
Random Barking
The Catfood Commission
It just struck me this morning: There's a Commission organized by the President to cut the Federal deficit. It's co-chairmen are former Republican Senator Alan Simpson from Wyoming, and Erskine Bowles, still a Director at Morgan Stanley, a Wall Street investment firm.
Other members are, well, from the Financial community -- the same sad sack of loser banks and investment firms which were handed free money to remain afloat after the Crash in October of 2008. Like Morgan Stanley.
Erskine Bowles, Member Of An Old-Money Family, And Friend
They're recommending a number of things be done to reduce the deficit, which increases the size of the real Monster In The Closet, the National Debt (not having invaded Iraq would have been a good place to start -- Ooopsie; Lil' Boots already snuck that one in, didn't he? Bless his tiny white cotton socks).
The concern among some is that the "changes" they recommend are all aimed at making ordinary people pay for the -- the American form of the "new Austerity" measures which European governments are placing on their own citizens.
Among the things being considered are "changes" to the Social Security system, which amount to cutting or otherwise limiting benefits. A number of commentators have dubbed Little Erskine and Alan's advisory group the "Catfood Commission" -- a metaphor for penury and poverty, because the end result of reducing Social Security benefits to many current and future Seniors, and those on SSI disability, will be to force them to eat cat food: Their Social Security checks won't allow them to buy real meat or fish.
The thought struck me... The President has, in sum, done a less than stellar job with the Economy. The Rightists and Democrats in Congress (more members of the Little Village On The Potomac than representatives of the People) have dithered and made deals and dithered some more.
The end result is that Obama's administration may have screwed the Democrats' chances to hold on to both Houses of Congress -- meaning he may be a one-term President. Hope? Who knows what that was; just another failed dream.
The country, with the help of the Little Rupert Fun Truth Jesus Network; Little Glenn Beck, five years old; Lard Boy, and the screeching Teabag minority, will eventually be handed back to the Rightists.
You thought we had fun during the Go-Go, Lil' Boots Bush years? Wait until you see the America of President Palin. Or President Huckabee. Or President Gingrich. There'll be so much more fun to come. Wonder who we'll invade then? North Korea? Yeah; that'll show those Red Chinese who's boss...
If you elect politicians who are stupid, who are ideologues, who talk not with restraint and reason but the passion and certainty of the fundamentalist -- then you get a government that rules from ignorance, "purity" and "faith". We just had a decade of that.
It just struck me this morning: There's a Commission organized by the President to cut the Federal deficit. It's co-chairmen are former Republican Senator Alan Simpson from Wyoming, and Erskine Bowles, still a Director at Morgan Stanley, a Wall Street investment firm.
Other members are, well, from the Financial community -- the same sad sack of loser banks and investment firms which were handed free money to remain afloat after the Crash in October of 2008. Like Morgan Stanley.
Erskine Bowles, Member Of An Old-Money Family, And Friend
They're recommending a number of things be done to reduce the deficit, which increases the size of the real Monster In The Closet, the National Debt (not having invaded Iraq would have been a good place to start -- Ooopsie; Lil' Boots already snuck that one in, didn't he? Bless his tiny white cotton socks).
The concern among some is that the "changes" they recommend are all aimed at making ordinary people pay for the -- the American form of the "new Austerity" measures which European governments are placing on their own citizens.
Among the things being considered are "changes" to the Social Security system, which amount to cutting or otherwise limiting benefits. A number of commentators have dubbed Little Erskine and Alan's advisory group the "Catfood Commission" -- a metaphor for penury and poverty, because the end result of reducing Social Security benefits to many current and future Seniors, and those on SSI disability, will be to force them to eat cat food: Their Social Security checks won't allow them to buy real meat or fish.
The thought struck me... The President has, in sum, done a less than stellar job with the Economy. The Rightists and Democrats in Congress (more members of the Little Village On The Potomac than representatives of the People) have dithered and made deals and dithered some more.
The end result is that Obama's administration may have screwed the Democrats' chances to hold on to both Houses of Congress -- meaning he may be a one-term President. Hope? Who knows what that was; just another failed dream.
The country, with the help of the Little Rupert Fun Truth Jesus Network; Little Glenn Beck, five years old; Lard Boy, and the screeching Teabag minority, will eventually be handed back to the Rightists.
You thought we had fun during the Go-Go, Lil' Boots Bush years? Wait until you see the America of President Palin. Or President Huckabee. Or President Gingrich. There'll be so much more fun to come. Wonder who we'll invade then? North Korea? Yeah; that'll show those Red Chinese who's boss...
If you elect politicians who are stupid, who are ideologues, who talk not with restraint and reason but the passion and certainty of the fundamentalist -- then you get a government that rules from ignorance, "purity" and "faith". We just had a decade of that.
Saturday, July 10, 2010
Our Lords At Play In The Fields
How Brightly They Do Shine
I've never been able to figure out what prompts him to gravitate in one direction or another, but I think the idea is that in his universe, it's no sin to be rich -- but it is if you were dishonest and rapacious about it.
If the quote above, gracing Barry's website this morning, was posed to him as a choice, Barry wouldn't be voting for Poverty. Quite the opposite. Neither would the poor little guy above (How's Poverty working out for him, by the way?). The happy people above don't have to choose wealth; they're too busy shopping.
While that kind of choice would hardly be news (most persons would choose physical comfort over penury), for the kind of world he lives in, Barry understands it's those with money to invest who butter his bread. Just something to keep in mind.
Barry Ritholtz: Good Head For Da Numbers, Dis Guy
Barry's a smart guy, believes as strongly in free-trade capitalism as one can, believes that business is about psychology and competition; and feels that predicting in advance the tidal shifts of money washing around in the markets is The Great Game, and it's all about Making The Right Call, because that's what other people pay him for: He's a principal in a modestly-sized investment advisory business in New York, and he blogs about the kinds of data, the solid (and suspect) numbers, and utterances and divinations of Big Names in the financial world.
Apparently, Barry and his Firm do rather well (God forbid it should be otherwise), and while I don't like the fish tank Barry's chosen to swim in or many of its other creatures, as a former financial analyst Dog, I can appreciate the idea of making decisions based on the most reliable data, and because he seems more fact-based than not I at least pay attention to his take on things.
It's my guess that Ritholtz feels too much of the Free Markets' decision-making is based on misleading interpretation of data provided by government and business, and poor analysis of the real data that is available -- all of which obscures what is really going on behind the curtain. I can appreciate that.
And, he's been critical of the greed and excess that effectively destroyed America's Middle Class, and has so heavily weighted The Game in favor of our Masters Of The Universe©. Barry was sounding skepticism, and then an an alarm, about the Markets and the underlying derivative/real estate Mambo long before the crash.
He's even written a book about it, Bailout Nation. It's a good book, and I recommend it. It's not a Manifesto, and it focuses on what happened in the last days of the Lil-Boots Bush regime, and the early days of Obama's administration -- and how the U.S. Government has effectively paid taxpayer's money to save failed financial organizations led by greedy, sociopathic losers; hence, the 'Bailout' in the title.
[Please Note: Those are my characterizations of the times and events, by the way, not Ritholtz's. His research is solid and his occasionally acerbic observations are worth the price of admission. Buy the book; you'll learn things.]
Cover Of Bailout Nation (via SamSederShow)
To sum up: I appreciate Ritzholtz' drive for accuracy, and seeking better fact-based methodologies for sussing out market trends: Again, it's what he's paid for. At the same time, I don't much care for the industry he's a part of; it's my right to wrinkle my nose and growl at it, deep in my throat, as much as it's his right to jump in his particular tank and swim.
Barry and his family are in The Hamptons for their Summer vacation. The fact that you may not know or care where the Hamptons are is an indication of your Wal-Mart-shopping, Beer-Swilling, Mall-trolling, Fox-News-believing, worker-bee, Drone-peasant status.
For You: Trip To Cardiovascular Surgeon You Can't Afford
Is Not Included
The Hamptons are an area that encompasses the eastern end of New York's Long Island, and above that, across the Long Island Sound, the south shore of Connecticut. It's a fabled place of summer fun for the wealthy, and a tradition for the East Coast's Hereditary (and Noveau) Rich -- just like Taking That Second Job, and Wondering How To Tell The Kids We're Losing Our Home are for the rest of us.
The actual Wealthy -- Old-Money Bluebloods and the Mega-Noveau Riche Hedge Fund Managers, Pop-Rock Starz Of The Moment, and Hollywood Mega-producers -- own homes there. There are no McMansions for these people,who manage the architects and designers they hire, and are concerned with "getting it right". They don't have to live within a construction budget imposed on them by a loan officer, and don't have to (Ca-Ching!) refinance to upgrade. They can afford what they want, right away.
The Bright Spot: Global Warming's Rising Sea Levels Will Put
All These Places Underwater In The Next Few Decades, Or Sooner
The less (but still respectably) rich who can't afford a Second Residence (not yet; but we have hopes for them; yes, we do) can lease a home in the area for the three-month Season (for some high-end properties, the cost is over $100K per month), then return to their co-op apartments in the West Seventies or trendy lofts in Soho and TriBeca.
Rich Hamptons Girlz, Partying With Their Kind Until Dawn
And, Barry is there, in the thick of it all. He blogs about it -- as much to proudly announce Je sui Arriveste!, as to report the season's activity an indicator that America's Elders and Betters have started 'living large' once again. The fear of appearing to be too conspicuous in their consumption -- of being heard to grunt too loudly at the trough -- seems to have abated since the 'unpleasantness' of 2008.
Out here in the playground of the rich and famous [Barry tells us], the schism between the two Americas is about as clear as one can ever see.
[Please Note: The photos below are not part of Ritzholtz' blog post. They, and their captions, are part of Before Nine and added as visual counterpoints.]
"It is pretty hard to tell what does bring happiness; poverty and wealth have both failed." —Kin Hubbard, Offered As The "Quote Of The Day" On The Big Picture Website, July 10, 2010Barry Ritholtz, whose blog I look at frequently, is an investment advisor whose take on America's class of super-rich occasionally rotates between gently mocking derision and moderate envy.
I've never been able to figure out what prompts him to gravitate in one direction or another, but I think the idea is that in his universe, it's no sin to be rich -- but it is if you were dishonest and rapacious about it.
If the quote above, gracing Barry's website this morning, was posed to him as a choice, Barry wouldn't be voting for Poverty. Quite the opposite. Neither would the poor little guy above (How's Poverty working out for him, by the way?). The happy people above don't have to choose wealth; they're too busy shopping.
While that kind of choice would hardly be news (most persons would choose physical comfort over penury), for the kind of world he lives in, Barry understands it's those with money to invest who butter his bread. Just something to keep in mind.
Barry Ritholtz: Good Head For Da Numbers, Dis Guy
Barry's a smart guy, believes as strongly in free-trade capitalism as one can, believes that business is about psychology and competition; and feels that predicting in advance the tidal shifts of money washing around in the markets is The Great Game, and it's all about Making The Right Call, because that's what other people pay him for: He's a principal in a modestly-sized investment advisory business in New York, and he blogs about the kinds of data, the solid (and suspect) numbers, and utterances and divinations of Big Names in the financial world.
Apparently, Barry and his Firm do rather well (God forbid it should be otherwise), and while I don't like the fish tank Barry's chosen to swim in or many of its other creatures, as a former financial analyst Dog, I can appreciate the idea of making decisions based on the most reliable data, and because he seems more fact-based than not I at least pay attention to his take on things.
It's my guess that Ritholtz feels too much of the Free Markets' decision-making is based on misleading interpretation of data provided by government and business, and poor analysis of the real data that is available -- all of which obscures what is really going on behind the curtain. I can appreciate that.
And, he's been critical of the greed and excess that effectively destroyed America's Middle Class, and has so heavily weighted The Game in favor of our Masters Of The Universe©. Barry was sounding skepticism, and then an an alarm, about the Markets and the underlying derivative/real estate Mambo long before the crash.
He's even written a book about it, Bailout Nation. It's a good book, and I recommend it. It's not a Manifesto, and it focuses on what happened in the last days of the Lil-Boots Bush regime, and the early days of Obama's administration -- and how the U.S. Government has effectively paid taxpayer's money to save failed financial organizations led by greedy, sociopathic losers; hence, the 'Bailout' in the title.
[Please Note: Those are my characterizations of the times and events, by the way, not Ritholtz's. His research is solid and his occasionally acerbic observations are worth the price of admission. Buy the book; you'll learn things.]
Cover Of Bailout Nation (via SamSederShow)
To sum up: I appreciate Ritzholtz' drive for accuracy, and seeking better fact-based methodologies for sussing out market trends: Again, it's what he's paid for. At the same time, I don't much care for the industry he's a part of; it's my right to wrinkle my nose and growl at it, deep in my throat, as much as it's his right to jump in his particular tank and swim.
Barry and his family are in The Hamptons for their Summer vacation. The fact that you may not know or care where the Hamptons are is an indication of your Wal-Mart-shopping, Beer-Swilling, Mall-trolling, Fox-News-believing, worker-bee, Drone-peasant status.
For You: Trip To Cardiovascular Surgeon You Can't Afford
Is Not Included
The Hamptons are an area that encompasses the eastern end of New York's Long Island, and above that, across the Long Island Sound, the south shore of Connecticut. It's a fabled place of summer fun for the wealthy, and a tradition for the East Coast's Hereditary (and Noveau) Rich -- just like Taking That Second Job, and Wondering How To Tell The Kids We're Losing Our Home are for the rest of us.
The actual Wealthy -- Old-Money Bluebloods and the Mega-Noveau Riche Hedge Fund Managers, Pop-Rock Starz Of The Moment, and Hollywood Mega-producers -- own homes there. There are no McMansions for these people,who manage the architects and designers they hire, and are concerned with "getting it right". They don't have to live within a construction budget imposed on them by a loan officer, and don't have to (Ca-Ching!) refinance to upgrade. They can afford what they want, right away.
The Bright Spot: Global Warming's Rising Sea Levels Will Put
All These Places Underwater In The Next Few Decades, Or Sooner
The less (but still respectably) rich who can't afford a Second Residence (not yet; but we have hopes for them; yes, we do) can lease a home in the area for the three-month Season (for some high-end properties, the cost is over $100K per month), then return to their co-op apartments in the West Seventies or trendy lofts in Soho and TriBeca.
Rich Hamptons Girlz, Partying With Their Kind Until Dawn
And, Barry is there, in the thick of it all. He blogs about it -- as much to proudly announce Je sui Arriveste!, as to report the season's activity an indicator that America's Elders and Betters have started 'living large' once again. The fear of appearing to be too conspicuous in their consumption -- of being heard to grunt too loudly at the trough -- seems to have abated since the 'unpleasantness' of 2008.
Out here in the playground of the rich and famous [Barry tells us], the schism between the two Americas is about as clear as one can ever see.
[Please Note: The photos below are not part of Ritzholtz' blog post. They, and their captions, are part of Before Nine and added as visual counterpoints.]
The slowing economic growth may be what most people are focusing on, but the brutally apparent trend here is on luxe spending. Conspicuous consumption may have had its setbacks the past few years, but it's on full display out here.We're defined by our choices and actions. I guess, with all due respect, we choose to invest our lives in what we believe most important -- the wealthy (certainly, those Ritholtz describes) have already done that. It's about, you know -- bread, and butter, and all that.
For Them: So Pretty, And Softshell Crabs A La Stone Creek;
And, The Best Cardiovascular Surgeons Money Can Buy
We went to several very nice, quite pricey restaurants. In Quogue, the Stone Creek Inn on Tuesday night at 8:30 was jammed. The parking lot was a teenage boy’s wet dream: Bentley GTs, Maserati Quattroportes, Ferrari SuperAmerica (dude, what was with that ugly gray?). Out here, 911s are de rigeur, and MB S550s are cars you give the nannies; they all get parked in the back. The restaurant was filled with beautiful people wearing designer clothes, oodles of jewelry (middle aged white guys should never use the word bling).
Oh, and way too much plastic surgery — everyone had a kinda surprised look on their faces.
2009 Maserati Quattroporte (Top); 2009 Bentley Continental
GT (Bottom);Barely LegalMistresses, Always Optional
On Wednesday night, Starr Boggs in Westhampton Beach was jammed. It was a different crowd — more family, less “fabulousness.” Perhaps it had something to do with their prix fixe only menu (Sun, Tue, Wed) — both joints are 5 stars, but Starr Boggs cost about half of Stone Creek, where I didn’t get the sense that anyone ordered from the prix fixe menu.
...I found it particularly notable that the mid-line restaurants were only half filled; the action was all higher end places...
At East End Jet Ski, the girl who worked there said they had been reasonably busy. BTW, if you are thinking about dropping $5,000 on a waverunner, spend $75. Its great fun for a half hour, but I am less sure I would want to spend a summer on one . . .
Regardless, whatever disinclination to spend the wealthy may have had in 2008 and early 2009, it has been banished here.
Wednesday, July 7, 2010
Art In The Service Of... Well, Something
A Teaching Moment About Business And Life
(Anthony Meek / Acme Illustrators)
Acme Illustrators (shown via The Big Picture) is a business doing, well, illustration.
Acme Sez, This Ain't 1933: Government Is Not Your Friend
Anthony Freda, the individual who created the Trompe l'oil chalkboard at the top, recently had a show at the Trifecta Gallery in Las Vegas, entitled "Work Makes You Free". I'm not sure whether this is an ironic title or not, but Freda has a good technique.
Much of Acme's current work for publications and websites appears to support the various themes which Business so dearly loves to believe: It's a Hard World; When The Going Gets Tough; If You Can't Stand The Heat; Save Your Pennies (And Give Them All To Us).
As an artist, I can understand doing things necessary to keep the lights on, but I'm always reminded of the work of some Italian and German designers during the mid-1930's, and the beautiful covers of Forbes, the Free Market's brochure magazine during the same period: Great work, but in service of what?
Just So You Understand
Robert Reich -- former Secretary of Labor in the Clinton Administration, former Wall Street Executive and not without his detractors for being too cozy with the Masters Of The Universe -- wrote a column recently which noted that the chances we have begun the second fall of a 'Double-Dip' Recession is very likely.
Then, Bob added, Wall Street and the other biggest global banks, meanwhile, are making piles of money betting against government debt all over the world. These were the same banks and financiers, remember, that were bailed out by government not long ago. But now they're demanding fiscal austerity, and politicians are once again doing their bidding - cutting deficits in every rich economy that should now be doing the reverse.
What he's saying is, the same financial institutions which nearly created a Second Great Depression are doing the same thing Goldman-Sachs did: Betting government efforts at Recovery will fail, and the Markets will fall. When they do, huge sums of money -- more money; always more and more -- can be made in both short-selling stocks, and the buying them when their prices drop low enough.
Now, the same financial institutions and global banks are demanding that governments follow policies of austerity -- cut spending, cut support to its citizens; reduce budget deficits. But this isn't prudence, which I could agree with -- it's like keeping medicine from the sick; it's stupid, and benefits only a small number of people. Natürlich; doch immer aber natürlich.
Those same financial institutions and global banks, saved from imploding and closing their doors by U.S. and European government intervention (though the configuration in the EU is a bit different) are creating exactly the climate for markets, and stock prices, to fall, so they can reap future profit, unfortunately by limiting government support and stimulus (jn the form of things like extending unemployment benefits) just when people -- human beings -- most need it.
And in an election year, it's advantageous for the Right to make Democrats appear to be even bigger failures than they are -- right or wrong, accepted wisdom is that a failing economy is always blamed on the Party In Power. A hard choice, to force Americans to suffer; but it's all in the cause of bringing the Republicans back into prominence, so I guess that's okay, then.
This wasn't how the Great Depression was managed. In fact, economists and financial analysts like Reich, Ritholtz and even Paul Krugman are beginning to say that, catastrophic as the Great Depression was, the fact that it was so bad guaranteed enacting a set of banking and financial reforms that limited the greed and manipulation of the Banksters and their buddies which had created the Crash.
What they're saying is, maybe it would have been worth it, to have had a second Great Depression -- just to gain control over the Big Boyz again, and achieve a few more generations of peace. I'm not sure -- but I understand the sentiment that made them say it.
The Bailout kept another Depression from occurring -- but it only pushed the debt which created it a bit further into the future. The Banksters learned nothing. And all this ain't over, in case you haven't guessed.
As Barry Ritholtz noted recently, in the Crash of September and October, 2008, "Banks were not allowed to suffer the fate that all insolvent businesses are supposed to. This was a terrible error, the greatest financial tragedy of the 21st century. That they were allowed to survive mostly intact is the result of the excess influence they have on a corruptible congress and a misguided Federal Reserve."
P.S.
Did you know that over half of all the Federal U.S. currency ever printed and placed in circulation was created since Mr. Bernanke became Cairman of the Federal Reserve? I didn't.
In June the nation added fewer jobs than necessary merely to keep up with population growth (private hiring rose by 83,000 after adding only 33,000 jobs in May). The typical workweek declined. Average earnings dropped. Home sales are down. Retail sales are down. Factory orders in May suffered their biggest tumble since March of last year.
So what are we doing about it? Less than nothing. The states are running an anti-stimulus program (raising taxes, cutting services, laying off teachers, firefighters, police and other employees) that's now bigger than the federal stimulus program. That federal stimulus is 75 percent gone anyway. And the House and Senate refuse to pass another one. (The Senate left Washington for the July 4th weekend without even extending unemployment benefits for millions of jobless Americans now running out.)
Then, Bob added, Wall Street and the other biggest global banks, meanwhile, are making piles of money betting against government debt all over the world. These were the same banks and financiers, remember, that were bailed out by government not long ago. But now they're demanding fiscal austerity, and politicians are once again doing their bidding - cutting deficits in every rich economy that should now be doing the reverse.
What he's saying is, the same financial institutions which nearly created a Second Great Depression are doing the same thing Goldman-Sachs did: Betting government efforts at Recovery will fail, and the Markets will fall. When they do, huge sums of money -- more money; always more and more -- can be made in both short-selling stocks, and the buying them when their prices drop low enough.
Now, the same financial institutions and global banks are demanding that governments follow policies of austerity -- cut spending, cut support to its citizens; reduce budget deficits. But this isn't prudence, which I could agree with -- it's like keeping medicine from the sick; it's stupid, and benefits only a small number of people. Natürlich; doch immer aber natürlich.
Those same financial institutions and global banks, saved from imploding and closing their doors by U.S. and European government intervention (though the configuration in the EU is a bit different) are creating exactly the climate for markets, and stock prices, to fall, so they can reap future profit, unfortunately by limiting government support and stimulus (jn the form of things like extending unemployment benefits) just when people -- human beings -- most need it.
And in an election year, it's advantageous for the Right to make Democrats appear to be even bigger failures than they are -- right or wrong, accepted wisdom is that a failing economy is always blamed on the Party In Power. A hard choice, to force Americans to suffer; but it's all in the cause of bringing the Republicans back into prominence, so I guess that's okay, then.
This wasn't how the Great Depression was managed. In fact, economists and financial analysts like Reich, Ritholtz and even Paul Krugman are beginning to say that, catastrophic as the Great Depression was, the fact that it was so bad guaranteed enacting a set of banking and financial reforms that limited the greed and manipulation of the Banksters and their buddies which had created the Crash.
What they're saying is, maybe it would have been worth it, to have had a second Great Depression -- just to gain control over the Big Boyz again, and achieve a few more generations of peace. I'm not sure -- but I understand the sentiment that made them say it.
The Bailout kept another Depression from occurring -- but it only pushed the debt which created it a bit further into the future. The Banksters learned nothing. And all this ain't over, in case you haven't guessed.
As Barry Ritholtz noted recently, in the Crash of September and October, 2008, "Banks were not allowed to suffer the fate that all insolvent businesses are supposed to. This was a terrible error, the greatest financial tragedy of the 21st century. That they were allowed to survive mostly intact is the result of the excess influence they have on a corruptible congress and a misguided Federal Reserve."
P.S.
Did you know that over half of all the Federal U.S. currency ever printed and placed in circulation was created since Mr. Bernanke became Cairman of the Federal Reserve? I didn't.
Friday, July 2, 2010
Youth Conservatives Rage Against The Machine
Elena Kagan; First Day Of Confirmation Hearings
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- At the U.S. Capitol yesterday, some fifty self-described D.C. "youth conservatives" protested against the nomination of Elena Kagan to the United States Supreme Court.
"We're, like, just very upset that this kind of person is, like, going to be on the Supreme Court?" said Britney Hollingsworth, 20, a student at Georgetown University and president of its local chapter of Campus Young Republicans. "I mean, oh-kay; Hell-o?? I mean just, like, you know, look at this person. She's just won't do, at all."
Some Of Fifty Young Conservatives, At The Capitol
"Most of these, uh, kind of people, you know?" added Caroline Wilksberry, a 19-year-old Freshman at Brown University, "They just don't represent us, you know, mainstream Americans? I had my driver bring me down here today, you know? Because I saw her [Kagan] on television and just thought, you know, 'Ugh'. I mean, she's so tacky. Plus, she's part of a liberal conspiracy to make us all, just-- " Wilksberry waved one hand in the air -- "like, peasants!"
"Rully, rully true," Hollingsworth said. "I mean, I don't want this Kagan person on my Supreme Court. Let's just, you know, like -- put it right out there, you know? Let's just 'speak truth to power', okay? She's, like, not like Chief Justice Roberts, or Justice Kennedy, or even Justice Scalia or Justice Alito. I mean, they're Catholics and all, but they're on the right side. Kagan's just not, you know, 'batting for the team'."
At George Will's House In Georgetown
For The Protest After-Party
"Not the actual girls' team, added Wilkesberry.
Were the protesters implying that Kagan was gay? "Oh, dear; I wouldn't know about that," Hollingsworth responded. "I think Carrie -- and don't let me, like, put words in your mouth, or anything -- what she means is that Kagan's, like, you know -- like, 'not mainstream'."
Then, were they commenting on the fact that Kagan, 50, is Jewish? Both young women responded in the negative.
"That's just so unfair, you know? What an awful question," Hollingsworth said. "We, like, have tons of Jewish friends and stuff. My father's accountant is Jewish; I mean, they're like, fine, okay? I've even been to that thing they have at Easter, which isn't Easter. I was in Tel Aviv -- okay, just to change planes; but, I mean, still."
"Me too," added Wilksberry. "I've changed planes there."
"Was that when you and Kiki went to Davos?" Hollingsworth asked.
Other Youth Conservatives Relax In New York City
"No, that was that 'Spring Arab Thing'," Wilksberry responded with a giggle. "Anyway -- we just think Kagan is a tacky socalist. They need a lot more spa days -- and Kagan could stand some exercise -- 'Boot camp for you, girl!' And she was the legal-something for Harvard; I know, but it wasn't like she went there, but because they hired her, okay? Hell-o? And she denied the military to do its constitutional duty to serve and protect, you know; or whatever that scandal was that she did. Plus -- oh! oh! Here's something --"
"I so totally know what you're gonna say!" Hollingsworth added.
"Totally," Wilksberry said. "Okay. Okay -- I know, okay; I know a guy at Yale whose family's groundskeeper was, like, some Communist? Or who went to some twelve-step program they have for Communism, or something? And he told this guy I know that he had seen Kagan in, like, Nicaragua or Cuba or someplace, in 1970!!" Wilksberry paused, smiling. "I mean, there you are!"
"They should, like, be asking her about that in there," Hollingsworth said, pointing in the general direction of the Capitol.
Steven Prescott Kingsford VI, Near The National Mall
When it was pointed out that Kagan would have been nine years old in 1970, the two women, and a number of other Youth Conservatives in earshot, gave hoots of derision.
"Hoot! Hoot! That's the liberal media for you," said Steven Prescott Kingsford the Sixth, a Sophomore at Princeton. "If you do an analysis of every legal interpretation Kagan has ever made, you can see she quotes radical extremists and Communists. And if things go much further this way in America, I guess we'll just have to hire a bunch of these fundamentalists to run things for a while and get people like Kagan off our backs."
"Hoot!" added Edward Biddle Barrows, who accompanied Kingsford from Princeton, where both are on the university's Lacrosse team. "The ladies here," Barrows said, gesturing at Hollingsworth and Wilksberry, "Are perhaps too polite to say; but, Kagan just doesn't measure up to service on the high court. Not in any way."
Barrows, And Friends, In George Will's Basement At The
Protest After-Party
"It's like promoting your cook to become your business manager," Hollingsworth said. "Not that such people like that can't, you know -- whip up one hell of a meal on short notice. But to do an investment analysis, or make a decision involving, like, you know -- big stuff? Well, they're just not up to it." Flipping her blonde hair fetchingly, Hollingsworth smiled. "Kagan should just realize her limitations."
"When you have to hire persons," Kingsford added, "they have to be adequately trained; have some seasoning. They have to be -- the right sort. Kagan isn't; not trained, not seasoned, and not right."
"That is so right on," Wilkesberry said. "I'm not going to stand by and watch the interests of people who matter in this country be compromised by a woman who dresses like a Sunday school teacher in Bar Harbor."
"Decide Between Buying 200,000 Forested Acres In Western
Canada,
And Investing In Bonds? Above Her Pay Grade!"
"Sweetie, she couldn't teach Sunday school," Holligsworth responded, and the party of Youth Conservatives laughed before going off, as they noted, "for cocktails". A protest after-party was held at George Will's Georgetown home, where the Youth mingled with the likes of Will, Red State's Erik Erikson, newly-married Megan McArdle (trailed by son, Megalon, and his wranglers), and a special-surprise guest appearance by Charles Krauthammer's hair colorist.
Kagan completed her questioning by Senators as to her qualifications for a position in helping to shape the legal basis for American society. Red State later claimed Kagan had been seen buying a book on Marxist political theory in the "Gay and Lesbian" interest section of a local McBorders.
In fairness, it should be pointed out that Red State also believes Jonah Goldberg's tome, Liberal Fascism, is as important a book as Rand's The Fountainhead, or the two metric tons of Ezra Pound's unpublished anti-Semitic writings.
Sunday, June 27, 2010
Move Along; Nothing To See Here
Cartoon By Mr Fish (Harper's Magazine Online, August 7, 2009)
MSNBC's Economics reporter Dylan Ratigan occasionally posts at The Big Picture, the market / financial blog operated by Barry Ritholtz.
Ratigan effectively stood beside the shiny, new Financial 'Reform' legislation and lifted his hind leg in an Op-Ed piece on Ritholtz' blog, entitled "Wall Street Reform: Politicians Lie, Media Applauds, America Suffers":
It means that the same people who brought you these horrible changes — rising wealth discrepancy, massive unemployment and a crumbling infrastructure – have now further institutionalized the policies that will keep the causes of these problems firmly in place.
Meanwhile, all involved in the facade try to pretend that this should be considered a success because, gosh, real financial reform is just too hard and those crafty banksters will just outsmart us anyhow... Real and lasting financial reform is actually quite easy to implement — and the last time we had a crisis of this magnitude, we kept the banksters in check for 70 years.
And I believe as we head towards election time with leaders whose only plan for creating new jobs is a few more workers manicuring soon-to-be even bigger Bankster bonus-fueled estates coupled with a few more government handouts, this lesson will be learned once again.
At the same time, Economist Paul Krugman writes in the New York Times that the central bankers of today are getting it terribly wrong -- and that the result will be to drag out the legacy of the Go-Go, 'Lil' Boots' Bush years (i.e., the slow destruction of what's left of America's Middle Class) for another decade.
In 2008 and 2009, it seemed as if we might have learned from history. Unlike their predecessors, who raised interest rates in the face of financial crisis, the current leaders of the Federal Reserve and the European Central Bank slashed rates and moved to support credit markets. Unlike governments of the past, which tried to balance budgets in the face of a plunging economy, today’s governments allowed deficits to rise. And better policies helped the world avoid complete collapse: the recession brought on by the financial crisis arguably ended last summer.
But future historians will tell us that this wasn’t the end of the third depression, just as the business upturn that began in 1933 wasn’t the end of the Great Depression. After all, unemployment — especially long-term unemployment — remains at levels that would have been considered catastrophic not long ago, and shows no sign of coming down rapidly. And both the United States and Europe are well on their way toward Japan-style deflationary traps.
In the face of this grim picture, you might have expected policy makers to realize that they haven’t yet done enough to promote recovery. But no: over the last few months there has been a stunning resurgence of hard-money and balanced-budget orthodoxy.
Krugman noted in another column this past Friday that central bankers and conservative politicians (primarily in Britain and Germany), determined to create long-term stability by reducing budget deficits, to cut government spending and to reduce stimulus to their economies; are short-sighted and foolish.
...So saying that we need to focus on the long term, and not worry our little heads about trivial short-term issues like the highest long-term unemployment rate since the Great Depression, may sound like wisdom — but it’s actually folly...
[John Maynard] Keynes had it right:
But this long run is a misleading guide to current affairs. In the long run we are all dead. Economists set themselves too easy, too useless a task if in tempestuous seasons they can only tell us that, when the storm is long past, the ocean is flat again.
The future will probably be composed of (1) high unemployment; (2) home prices continuing to decline as their value "resets"; (2) tight credit; (5) wages are flat for those who have jobs -- expect 2-3% increases at best for up to ten years.
And, unless no one notices, in the wake of financial uncertainty, no money to spend on public projects to replace infrastructure, climate-related shortages in power and water, comes political instability -- abroad, certainly, but here in America as well.
And when the gap between those who did so well, and those who continue to suffer is large enough, there's a lot that can happen.
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