Silvio!! On The Comeback Trail
Little Silvio Berlusconi -- Oligarch;
lover of women Horndog; corrupt politician (who last week described bribes as just a cost of doing business; what's the big deal?) -- is attempting to push his Italian
Pene del Europa Party (or whatever it's called) back into power in Italian elections held this past weekend.
You need to understand: Berlusconi's return into Italian politics after being indicted on charges of bribery and misuse of office is the functional equivalent of squeezing Elliot Spitzer, Robin Williams and Richard Nixon together in one pint-sized package.
Load him up with hormone treatments, hair plugs and plastic surgery, and you have Silvio Berlusconi. Put
Silvio!! in office as the Prime Minister of Italy and you get an EU Clown Show, coupled with the highest official in the nation treating Italy as an extension of his personal business empire.
At the moment, the election returns reported give Italy's Center-Left parties a five- or six-per-cent edge over Berlusconi's Rightist party -- so the
Return Of The European Horndog may be postponed until his political allies in the Italian Parliament can provoke a new election cycle.
Here are a couple of items from the past to provide some context for the Freakshow we may have to witness:
__________________________________________________________________________
Berlusconi Attacked By Cathedral
(December 13, 2009)
No; It's Not Simon Pegg In
Star Trek (A Bit Old, For Simon)
-- It's The
Capo d'Buffoono Capo! (
UK Mirror, 11/13/09)
Earlier
today (tonight, in Italy), Silvio Berlusconi, 73-year-old Prime
Minister of the Republic of Italy and Chief Clown of the European Union,
appeared at a political rally in Milan when he was struck by the Duomo
Cathedral which borders the square where the rally took place.
Milan's Duomo Cathedral Of The Maria Bambina, Which Is Being
Held For Questioning By Italian Police After The Surprise Assault
Berlusconi, whose reign as
Primo Penis L'Italia
has been threatened by a series of sex scandals, alleged mafia
connections and criminal charges of bribery and money laundering, had
appeared at the rally in a local hotel, but was continually heckled by
onlookers. Even though he was the only person in the room who happened
to have a microphone and a really large public-address system,
Silvio! had to spend some time shouting them down.
While exiting the building, Berlusconi had been slowed,
walking through a crowd of people,
shaking hands (for any other head of state, taking that kind of risk is
unheard of), when he was attacked. Obviously bleeding, he was whisked
to a local hospital, reportedly having suffered broken teeth, a
fractured nose, and various contusions and cuts, but was otherwise still
able to have sex (after a fashion) with women forty-five years younger
than himself.
(Screencaptures:
BBC Video Footage, December 13, 2009)
The 623-year-old Cathedral which struck the Prime Minister was thrown by Massimo Tartaglia, who had gotten close enough to the
Capo de Tutti Frutti
in the crowd as he left the rally. That Tartaglia (who reportedly "has a
history of mental problems") was able to get so close to a major
European political figure to carry out the assault is troubling to
Italian authorities.
But, even more astounding is how
Tartaglia was able to reduce a gigantic, Gothic-style building to the
size of a paperweight, and throw it, striking Berlusconi in the snout
(probably had been
between the thighs of some-a young girl not long before, eh?).
How
the huge stone building was then returned to its normal size and
position without being seen by anyone is unknown, as Tartagliga was
immediately seized -- which raises the spectre of a wide conspiracy.
Italian Authorities Consider A Connection Between The Cathedral,
And Another Architectural Feature With Time-Travel Capabilities
"We
have not ruled out aliens from space, or time travelers, using
futuristic technology to injure our beloved Silvio," an anonymous source
in Berlusconi's security detail told the BBC.
It is also not known whether Massimo is related to the Tattaglias in the
Godfather
saga ("Sonny hit Bruno Tattaglia at three o'clock this morning"), and
what this may mean for Diane Keaton, James Caan and Al Pacino.
Bruno Tattaglia: "Scotch? Pre-War -- Or, A Little Strangling?"
The
Duomo was ordered by Italian police to remain in place in Milan and not
to attempt to leave the city. In an exclusive interview with the BBC,
the Duomo claimed it had never met Tartaglia before and that it had been
quietly hosting an evening Mass when it was picked up and swung at the
Prime Minister.
"I am innocent", the Cathedral told
the BBC. "It's true -- I don't like the immoral and disgusting acts by
which the Prime Minister has besmirched his office. But I have never,
ever caused harm to anyone, except witches, and Protestants, and a whole
bunch of Jews." The Duomo has asked for Papal lawyers from Rome to be
present during further questioning.
Silvio's Own Television Network In Italy, Providing Unbiased
Coverage Of The Prime Minister's Glorious Reign Over What's Now
The Theater Capital Of Europe (Photo:
UK Guardian 11/09)
[Okay; if you haven't figured it out, or don't follow the links I
handed
to you: Tartaglia allegedly struck Berlusconi in the face with a
souvenir model of the Duomo cathedral. The symbolism is obvious and even
amusing -- and no, I'm not going to explain it to you.]
While
his popularity ratings remain above 50 per cent, Berlusconi's hold over
his office may slip as the result of poor life choices and too much
bouncy-bouncy. Dogged by rumors of connections with the mafia as a
Billionaire oligarch; publicly romping with women (which led to a messy,
continuing public divorce from his second wife); and after a law
granting him immunity from prosecution as Prime Minister was overturned
earlier this year,
Silvio! may be the first leader of Italy in several generations to be convicted of criminal acts while in office.
Silvio's
own television network and newspapers continue to broadcast a campaign
of positive reports about him (he is reported to like dogs and enjoy
life), but many Italians dismiss them as obvious propaganda.
Basta!
Then, there is Berlusconi's former pay-for-play mistress, Patrizia D'Addario,
who recently published a tell-all autobiography about the
Buffoono's inner circle, and their sex life, entitled "What You Require, Mr. Prime Minister".
The
Oligarch Minister and a Simple Italian
Prostitute Girl
It seems that she saw her chance for opportunities, attention, money, and more money in her relationship with
Silvio!;
but even if some of her alleged details are incorrect, he is still the
married head of the Italian government and was still committing adultery
with (at least) D'Addario in a relatively public fashion -- not to
mention
whispers about the 18-year-old Silvio was seen hanging with after D'Addario smeared him in the press, which seemed one way to thumb his nose at the world (
I don't give a rat's ass what you think!) -- ho ho ho;
that Silvio!!.
Even his own handlers are stumped by what to say about the public backlash towards their
Capo's
antics. Asked about the assault, Berlusconi spokesman Paolo Buonaiuti
told CNN, "There has been such a buildup of hatred toward the premier,
and this is not good... This campaign of hatred has been building quite
rapidly recently, and I am not surprised that what happened tonight took
place."
Doctors at the hospital in Milan have
indicated that CAT scans of Berlusconi's head show no abnormalities, but
want to perform additional tests to be certain.
Silvio's! Physicians: Shocked by the assault -- except
Dottore Tano
Carridi (At Right), CAT scan director, who wanted extra Pet Treats.
The physicians also agreed that he has
Un Poco Pene, then showed scans to reporters and cleaning women on the night staff before blowing off the remainder of their shift to eat
Pasta Pesto, or play with catnip bags in the shape of the Pope.
__________________________________________________________________________
See Naples And Divorce
(May 9, 2009)
73-year-old Silvio Berlusconi (
Silvio!! ) is a flamboyant,
corrupt mover and shaker who has been able to control most of Italy's
major media, its largest banking and insurance group, and a major soccer
team, and to operate an investment company whose funding sources are
impossible to trace; there have been allegations of drug-money
laundering and Mafia connections.
And
Silvio has become the country's Prime Minister. Three times. He's worth
some $9 Billion US, and has his own Center-Right political party, "The
People Of Freedom". Berlusconi pushed his way into Italy's political
scene and was successful only because he's been able to create a
Center-Right (mostly Right-wing) coalition to run the country. Italy is a
Parliamentary system, with Silvio forming a majority coalition to run
the nation from the fractious jumble of its political parties.
The country has had
over 50 governments since 1945.
It's hard for a Parliament to accomplish anything for The People when
the central government goes into the food processor every six months or a
year -- and anyone who can form a relatively stable governing coalition
can be a very powerful figure. Silvio knows it. And, like any
egotistical greedhead
global businessperson, he's going to take advantage of his position,
and of the country's potential for instability, to increase his
personal, uh, 'leverage'.
Hey; it's a dog-eat-dog world, right? (As a dog, I take real exception to that, but we'll let it go.)
Italy
is also a nation which has included Mussolini's daughter and several
Porn starlets as members of its Parliament (most famously,
La Ciccolina,
former wife of [con] artist Jeff Koons), and which has theme
restaruants and unrepentant speakers trumpeting the good old days of
fascism. But for Berlusconi, beyond government, Italy apparently exists
to provide him with many personal financial opportunities, fine living,
and babes.
Oh, that Silvio!
Silvio's second
wife, 43-year-old former actress Veronica Lario, has had enough and
wants a divorce. They've been married 19 years, since Silvio divorced
his first wife to marry Veronica after seeing her (then a 24-year-old
performing on stage) for an hour one night.
"It was love at first sight," Silvio said. "[Veronica] has been a perfect wife. She's never embarrassed me."
La Fascisti Silvio! and Lil' Boots toast
La Dolce Vita
Pity the reverse isn't true, but so what; who cares? He's
Silvio!
The past ten years have seen a number of pathetically typical scenes,
where Berlusconi publicly parades and spends private bouncy-bouncy time
with leggy supermodels. He even installed two of them as Cabinet
ministers in his government.
Ah, that Silvio!
After
the last of these, Veronica demanded Berlusconi publicly apologize. He
did -- and it was a stage-managed publicity event spun by the media he
owns. Not bad, eh? Humiliate your wife, and turn it all to a political
advantage!
Ha ha ha -- Silvio!!!
What put
Veronica over the top was Silvio's recent attendance at a girl's 18th
birthday party in Naples -- the daughter of a friend; his attentions --
not altogether neutral or paternal -- gave some the impression that Mt.
Vesuvius wasn't the only thing smoldering.
Italians
shrug and wave a hand; it's what happens. Aah, so what? It's such good
theatre; it's got everything -- operatic passions, greed, envy, the
wealthy lusting after barely legal teenagers. Not like he can't afford
to buy a few Indulgences, eh? The Pope is a bastard
Tedeski, it's true, but those Germans are practical, and Silvio can charm fish from the ocean, that one.
But, let's not be so hard; he's
Silvio!!.
A buffoon with cash; one of the super-wealthy who happen to be the head
of state -- and see nothing wrong with boffing a few young women,
bending his country's laws (easier to do when you run the country) so he
can
wet his beak a little, eh? And a few bribes, some threats;
hey, you can't make an empire without spilling a little red wine. Life's
a banquet, and Silvio is right there, cutting in line and elbowing
others out of the way to get a little more.
Berlusconi
is what happens when people, cynical and disgusted with the antics of
their politicians, lose any real interest in government.
They're all corrupt; they're all inefficent; you can't fight Tammany Hall.
Ultimately, someone like a Berlusconi appears -- flamboyant, voluble;
tough-minded, who enjoys the pursuits of a man. Huey Long meets the
Emperor Augustus.
The
Leader both plays off the People's cynicism, and feeds it. They claim
to be a fresh wind of change who speak for The Little People; at the
same time they treat the country as a private feeding trough, which only
reinforces the idea that Government is unreliable. Ideals? Just
advertising slogans. They dye their hair in what (for a 73-year-old) is
an impossibly dark shade and parade with women a quarter of their age to
prove to anyone they are potent and powerful.
This
formula of crony patronage and power is older than recorded history, a
country kept in constant political turmoil while its assets are
acquired, traded, sold or leased. And as the one at the top of that
small crowd of oligarchs who benefit, the Leader,
Capo tutti del Capo,
enjoys his relatively brief time at the top of the pyramid. Because
those persons almost exclusively focused on the acquisition of power and
material possession are, of course, the highest expression of the human
species.
__________________________________________________________________________
Silvio !! Chapter MCMXXXXXXLVII: The State Is ME!
(October 14, 2011)
Government By Commedia del Arte
 |
| Silvio! Salutes -- Himself, Of Course |
To me -- and I don't think I'm alone -- one hallmark of These Days™ we're living through is the
slow, steady erosion of things based on illusion, and lies.
The
financial Bubble was spun out of caviar wishes and champagne dreams; it
was a manipulation of each stage of the process from real estate sales
to loan origination to the packaging of CDOs and pushing them on
investors, by
rentiers -- persons who
play no
productive role in the economy themselves but who monopolize the access
to physical assets, financial assets and technologies. They make money
not from producing anything new themselves, but purely from [possession]
of property (which provides a claim to a revenue stream)... (Wikipedia).
For
the past three years, for some, this has become clearer. To other
people, that same dawning clarity is threatening on a visceral level, an
aberration.
This has been a global game, and in
Europe, the results are the same -- political, corporate and financial
illusions are beginning to come apart like the legendary cheap suit. And
nowhere has the Illusory State been more pronounced than Italy, where a
working Center-Right coalition in its Parliament has given the country
its longest-lasting, most stable government in fifty years.
However, "stable" is a relative term.
Silvio !'s
government has been marred by accusations of corruption (expected in
Italy, which has been a Kleptocracy on some level for centuries) and
mismanagement, which Berlusconi's coalition was supposed to change.
Unfortunately, that coalition was brokered by a
narcissistic Oligarch, pompous and vainglorious -- the Latin version of Sad Vlad The Putin:
Silvio!
And
unfortunately for Little Silvio, after besting his detractors and
enemies and remaining the Prime Minister of that near-failed state, now
the world's financial crisis is coming home -- to live with his people.
Not Silvio -- he's a
bunga-bunga
billionaire; personally, he'll be very comfortable. The Italian people?
Not so much. And that could spell the end for Little Silvio's reign as
the
Clown Prince Of the European Union.
From today's
New York Times:
In
his narrowest escape yet, Prime Minister Silvio Berlusconi barely
survived a confidence vote on Friday, saving his government from
collapse but leaving it all but incapable of legislating effectively.
With
316 votes for and 301 votes against, Mr. Berlusconi’s center-right
coalition won the vote. But it failed to secure a solid majority, making
it increasingly difficult for him to pass legislation aimed at
protecting Italy from Europe’s sovereign debt crisis. Had he lost, Mr.
Berlusconi would have had to resign, marking the end of an 18-year
political era in which the billionaire businessman shaped Italian
politics in his own image, entwining the country’s fate with his own.
...the
Berlusconi government was now hanging by a thread and could fall at the
next bump in the road — when enough disgruntled lawmakers from within
Mr. Berlusconi’s coalition calculate that they would be safer jumping
off a sinking ship rather than staying aboard and risking drowning...
Since
2009, the European debt crisis has felled governments in Ireland,
Portugal and Slovakia, led to early elections in Spain and a cabinet
reshuffle in Greece. So far, Mr. Berlusconi has proven to be a tough
outlier — not least because the European Central Bank in August agreed
to buy Italian debt. But the bank did this in exchange for promised
structural changes that the government has not yet carried out, a mix of
tax increases and changes to the pension system...
This
week, opposition leaders — and the president of Italy, in an unusually
strong statement — told Mr. Berlusconi that surviving a confidence vote
was not the same as governing... the center-left opposition has
repeatedly called on Mr. Berlusconi to step down.. [and] repeatedly
accused Mr. Berlusconi of buying the votes of would-be dissidents within
his own center-right coalition.
On Friday, Mr.
Berlusconi was saved by loyalists who prefer to have the government limp
along rather than fall and potentially be replaced by a group of
nonpolitical technocrats with a mandate to carry out the structural
changes including tax increases, changes to the pension system and a
growth stimulus bill now deadlocked in Parliament.
Foreign
investors and many of Italy’s business leaders hope for such a
technical government, but lawmakers have resisted out of fears of losing
power.
