Wednesday, November 11, 2009

Housekeeping

It's turned out to be that kind of week already.

Family Guy, Season Six, Episode 6; "Padre De Familia": After the cliffhangers of Episode 4 ("Stewie Kills Lois") and Episode 5 ("Lois Kills Stewie"), Peter opens the show by, in his normal fashion, by becoming enraged and self-righteous... this time, towards any immigrant in America. Peter begins organizing a campaign at the Pawtucket Brewery to uncover and fire any undocumented aliens who might be working there. This makes Peter (as usual) a mildly humorous, self-focused, insufferable prick.


BRIAN: Why did you have my acupuncturist arrested??
PETER: Because he was a terrorist.
BRIAN: He's an eighty-five-year-old Buddhist!
PETER: Or is he the secret head of Al-Qaeda? I guess time will tell.

Visiting his mother (Voice: Phyllis Diller), Peter learns that he was born in Mexico after several (disgusting) attempts by his mother to induce a miscarriage -- but she never registered Peter's birth after returning to the 'Murrika. "As far as the U.S. government is concerned," she tells Peter, "You're an illegal, Mexican alien."

Newly-illegal immigrant Peter comes home to tell Lois that he was fired from his job because of his undocumented status. Lois takes it well (given that she's taken everything, including sex with Peter, fairly well); Peter wonders what kind of work he might do next as an illegal -- possibly, a hotel job.

This bit has been going through my head in an unending loop, all day:

PETER: ...'Housekeeping Wanted'. Aw, sweet! I could do that!

(Cut To: Medium Close-Up Shot, Exterior, Day); PETER, dressed in a blue domestic maid's dress, pushing a cart with cleaning supplies on the upper deck of a motel; he stops in front of room 105 and knocks on the door.)

PETER (Strange Accent): Housekeeping. (Pauses; knocks again) Housekeeping.
MAN'S VOICE INSIDE ROOM: Come back later, please!
PETER: Housekeeping.
VOICE: Not now!
PETER: (Frowns) Housekeeping.
VOICE: Go away!
PETER: I come in anyway?
VOICE: No; go away!
PETER: (Pause) I come in anyway.
(Takes keys and opens door)



(Cut To: Medium Long Shot, Interior, Day); PETER, entering the motel room at Left; a man and a woman are in bed at Right and who sit up, shocked, clearly interrupted in the midst of having sex.)

GIRL: Oh, my God!!
MAN: I said, 'No'!!
PETER: Okay I clean?
MAN: No! Get outta here!
PETER: I clean now?
MAN: No!
PETER: I stay and watch?
MAN: No!
PETER: I get involved?
MAN: --- What?
PETER: I get involved with lady?
MAN: Whu -- Whu -- (Turns to GIRL) What do you think?
GIRL: (To PETER) -- turn around!

(PETER turns around, but, hey; we all know what his physique is like, right?)

GIRL: (To PETER) I don't think so.
PETER: Okay. You lend me money?
MAN: No.
PETER: You drive my grandmother to Doctor's appointment?
MAN: No! No; I'm not doing that.
PETER: I stick my finger in your mouth? (Long pause)
Housekeeping?
MAN: (Sighing) Okay...
PETER: Okay. (Begins picking up clothing thrown on floor)