Monday, September 20, 2010

Recession Ends; No One Notices

WASHINGTON D.C. The National Bureau Of Economic Research (NBER)'s Business Cycle Dating Committee held a meeting yesterday, and agreed that the Great Recession, which started in the Fall of 2007, actually ended in June of 2009, or the end of Second Quarter.

There was little hoopla. The news was greeted with silence and laconic stares from passersby (a neat trick, as the meeting was conducted by phone).

"It was over a year ago?" Said Anna Loftgren, a mother of three who has been unemployed for 87 weeks and currently living in a friends' lawn mower shed. "I don't see there's any difference." Ms. Loftgren recently sold her children as test subjects in the cosmetics industry to pay down her credit card debt.

At the conclusion of the meeting, Robert Hall, Stanford University economist and Chairman of the NBER's Business Cycle Dating Committee, announced to the other members that he was very sorry, but that the NBER had considered various consolidation and reduction-in-force plans, and determined that they would all have to be let go.