Sunday, June 12, 2016

Fear The Hillarump Walking

"Kill The Brain And You Kill The Ghoul"
-- George Romero's Original Night Of The Living Dead (1968)

So it's a Sunday; I've already seen very bad news this morning, and -- like you -- am looking for something, anything for a mindless, momentary distraction.

You found it with this blog; I'll switch on the teevee. Let's see -- politics? That's always good for a distraction, except I can't stomach any Talking Headless programs; I can barely stomach anything political In These Days.

Okay -- set's warming up; I can hear the tubes popping... what's this? Oh, cool -- it's Episode One, Season One, of The Walking Dead! No politics in here...

So, Rick Grimes stops for gasoline at  what's left of an encampment around a gas station somewhere in Georgia...

Wait a minute...  I don't remember this part.  My recollection is that TWD started in 2010... Oh, and check out how crisp and clean Rick's uniform and hat are: After the Apocalypse, laundries and dry cleaners are apparently still in operation. We will run out of food, medicines, gasoline, and televised organized sports or streaming music will disappear, but we'll be well-dressed. 

Zombies, on the other hand, don't care much for fashion or personal grooming. Their hair could use conditioner (or a good combing), the women neglect using even foundation makeup, not to mention eyeliner; and has anyone mentioned to them there are brightening strips for those teeth? I'm sure of all the things that weren't looted from pharmacies and supermarkets, those whitening strips are probably still sitting right on the shelves. 

And most importantly, the Zombies dress in tacky, stained clothing which, you know -- holds odors. Since they'll be wearing those clothes, uh, well, forever -- I'll bet they regret shopping at H&M now, since those items were never meant to last more than one season before falling apart.

All right -- that's just about enough of that. Too predictable.  The last time someone with a blog showed a presidential candydate being placed in harm's way was in 1996 -- the days of The Early Intertubes, when Yahoo! and AOL walked the earth and charged you by the minute for access. When there was dial-up and 33.6 Modems and rendering one frame of CG could take hours. It was before an infrastructure that could support the growth of digital tech. It was before Napster and Twitter, for god's sake. 

Websites were in their infancy, and Adobe Photoshop was still a new(ish) tool.  One enterprising Guy with a sense of humor decided to use a new Photoshop plug-in that someone else had made, which modified a digital photographic image to show people's head's exploding. The Guy decided to modify photos of the presidential candidates in that year, Then-Gropenator Billy Clinton and Senator BobDole, on his (pre-CSS) website.

A large number of people (and Dogs) who have their own Blogs and Sites are 21st century equivalents of the folks who build stuff in their garage and display it at crafts fairs: See what cool / funny / insightful things I made?

In this situation, The Guy thought that his ability with Photoshop Plug-In / Exploding Heads + Photos Of Candydates = Yeah, baby Teh Funny. So, he posted those modified photos of Dole and Clinton, and his friends sent him emails saying how cool it all was. The good time must have lasted all of twenty minutes, because it also earned the website's author an almost instantaneous visit from the Secret Service to "assess" him -- and provide the chilling effect such visits intend; an unspoken threat that anyone else shouldn't do things like that, or else.

So we'll leave the image above, with Hillaryombie charging Rick as he pulls something from a leather receptacle on his belt, alone.  Let's change the channel... gotta be something different out there...

Oh, Holy Mother Of God. What is this, Political Zombie weekend? It's 28 Days Later -- or, some version of it, anyway...


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