Monday, August 2, 2010

Triumph Of The Shill


(Art By Mongo)

Little Rupert Murdoch, ten years old, watches his favourite film for the 5,432nd time: Leni Reifenstahl's Triumph Of The Will. And every morning, Little Rupert wishes he he had been born as Joey Goebbels.

But that's okay. He believes Joey was, at heart, just a businessman -- just as Little Rupert, in his heart, is... something else.


Friday, July 30, 2010

Unspeakable

Packaging The Crazy



Yes, Virginia; there are sandwiches in a can -- joining the noble canned ham, the Schlitz and Rolling Rock and Budweiser; the deviled ham, and even the little Sardine as items sealed with a shelf life for future generations to wonder at, and bring to Antiques Roadshow.



EXPERT: Well, what you've got here is, obviously, an item known as a 'Candwich', manufactured at the beginning of the century and is -- well, it's a sandwich, in a can. What can you tell me about it?

WOMAN: My father received this in exchange for some work he did during, you know -- 'The Unpleasantness' -- right before the aliens and all that. I don't remember it very well, but when the government came through during the mutant roundups, my father was taken away and we kept his belongings but never looked through them.

EXPERT: So you've had it all this time?

WOMAN: Yes. And we don't do anything with it except sniff it a little.

EXPERT: Okay. Well, this is really quite an item -- I was showing this to some of my Roadshow colleagues, and we were all quite excited. Most material manufactured prior to the alien incursion and the mutant wars either didn't survive, or was heavily contaminated and had to be destroyed. But this one stayed in your family's possession, and we have to presume you were in a Federal shelter? And it was scanned, of course.

WOMAN: Oh, yes.

EXPERT: So this one is quite safe to bring to the Roadshow. And in almost pristine condition -- a little oxidation there around the top, but that's normal; it doesn't affect the value, and we wouldn't recommend cleaning it. The colors are bright and clear; a few, small dents on the rear near the bottom -- but, again, for something this unusual, that's not an issue. We were shaking it carefully a little while ago, weren't we, and --

WOMAN: We could hear the sandwich inside!

EXPERT: Yes, we could! (Laughs) I wouldn't want to eat it, though. So, do you have any idea of its value? Have you ever had it appraised?

WOMAN: No, not really. My sister thought we should have it placed in one of the memorial ships that are fired into the Sun, but we never did.

EXPERT: Probably a good idea that you didn't. Now, I know of only three Candwich cans in existence -- and only one of them still has the sandwich inside! Another thing is that this appears to be the only Peanut-Butter-And-Strawberry Jelly Candwich anyone has ever seen.

WOMAN: My Beck! For fun, now; no; really?

EXPERT: Really really. Two of the three sandwiches in a can are in museums in Paris and Jerusalem, and the third was sold at auction just after the 25th of Cunegonda this breeding period -- for six point eight Trillion Quatloos!

WOMAN: Oh! Oh! Oh!

EXPERT: Yes; and I would estimate this, in a retail setting, if it were sold, to be worth at least that much, probably closer to nine or even ten Trillion. I would use that figure for insurance purposes, and it easily qualifies for Class Two security coverage as a cultural relic.

WOMAN: I'm just so thrilled. I had no idea.

EXPERT: Yes. Not every day you find out you could buy yourself whaling rights in the Sea Of Japan, eh? Well, we're just so happy you brought this to the Roadshow. We'll provide you with an armored car to take this back to your breeding compound.

WOMAN: Thank you; now I can buy my sister back. All praise to the Leader!

EXPERT: All praise to the Leader.


Thursday, July 29, 2010

Addicted


I See... _______ Pitifully Stupid People; All The Time

Why wouldn't you be addicted to an episodic television program that presents people, trying to help other human beings, which has a serious focus around one brilliant, sarcastic (even occasionally abusive), complicated, but ultimately endearing character -- one who believes those other human beings are worth saving.

Not because of any warm and compassionate expression of the Buddha nature; but because life is weird, and hard enough; and people lie their asses off just because that's their nature -- and saving them is work.



And, I admit some similarities between Gregory House's character and personality and my own: We're both intelligent, funny in an offbeat way, and either leave 'em laughing, slightly amazed, or appalled. But, I don't get to pop Vicodin and use a cane -- though I did lose sensation in a good bit of my right leg after an attack of sciatica three years ago; it's permanent, and I can get a fine limp going after an hour or so walking, which is something I like to do. But no cane, though I own one.

Anyway, I started watching House, MD on an on-again, off-again basis -- earlier episodes, in syndication (I won't watch Fox on principle). But, like so many other programs I never watched when they were on air, I've missed a good deal of the series to date. And now, I'm as addicted to it as House is to the Vicodin.


The Whole Sick Crew, January, 2009, Left To Right: Omar Epps,
Olivia Wilde; Jennifer Morrison; Jesse Spencer; Hugh Laurie;
Lisa Edelstein; Peter Jacobsen, Before The SAG Awards

Luckily, I'm still employed; live alone with my rug and dog bowl by the heater; and have disposable income... to buy the collected Seasons of the program to date, so that I can catch up to where the series is now, which I will begin to watch on Fox just as soon as Little Rupert chokes on one of his wife's thongs.

I like it. You may like drinking beer until you pass out. Or, going to monster truck rallies (House does). And, ultimately, the show is about people working together, their relationships and personalities -- and that's what life is ultimately all about. Maybe.




Our House Is A Very Very Very Large House


(NYT Chart © 2006; Additions By Steve Barry via TBP, 2010)

A nice graphic (originally authored by Bill Marsh of the New York Times online), provided by The Big Picture, about housing prices in the United States over 120 years.

What does this chart say? That A) Median prices for homes in America skyrocketed, beginning in 1997, relative to the previous 100+ years of housing price data; and B) Why the _______ ____ did that happen?; and finally, C) Whatever the reason (You knew this already), someone was making all kinds of money.

Follow the link and read. You might learn something -- though I'm listening to Bernard Herrmann's soundtrack to the film, "The Five Fingers" right now. Don't bother me unless there's a war. Well, I mean another war.


Wednesday, July 28, 2010

Tuesday, July 27, 2010

Pretty Soon It Adds Up To Real Money


(Treemap: David McCandless, Information Is Beautiful)

The good folks at Information Is Beautiful have created an infographic (this particular style of presentation is called a treemap) showing the relative costs and value of things in calendar 2009.

(If you're a real infoporn Wonk -- god knows, I love you as only a Dog can. Go right here and connect with a spreadsheet that has all the Costing Subjects, Sourcing for each dollar amount, and of course the data. Splice and Dice! Woo Hoo!)

The top section shows such items as the annual Defense budget of the United States; the market value of Apple; the earnings made by OPEC nations from sale of their oil; the amount that Little Bernie Madoff took from his clients; and the amount men spent on ED drugs in America.

(Oh, and the full cost of the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan, so far [as of 2009]. Remember when we were told by Lil' Boots and his BFFs that it was all good, and would all be very cheap (few dollars, few lives), and besides, you can't put a price tag on Freedom? Good Times...)

The lower section, all one color, shows the worldwide cost (as of 2009 -- remember, there's been lots more fun since then) of the "Made-In-USA" worldwide financial crisis.

Hey -- enjoy!


Monday, July 26, 2010

Tickle Me Hellmo (Clean American Version)


You Can't See The Sky From There, Ya Little Freak!!

This is for my friend Kim, who enjoys Elmo as much as I do.

Look, boys 'n girls: I've watched Elmo. When this little dude is in his 'room' -- is he actually in a room? No. It's a series of crayon drawings -- as if they were just figments of that plush red-orange paranoid-schizophrenic's imagination.

Occasionally, there's an actual piece of furniture; but when he takes us to his 'computer' (another crayon drawing), and ties to operate it... aw, C'mon. He's been drinking Sterno, or doing PCP. And look at the things he talks to. You think they actually exist?

And then there's all that crazy stuff he comes out with; it's like he ate a copy of Gravity's Rainbow or something. Where does he get that? And that affected, high-pitched laugh? Creeps me out.

Better be happy Elmo isn't running the country -- but, given the state of things, who can tell?

In another work life, I would have watched him wind himself up and run for about thirty seconds, before I went to a pat search -- that's all the Probable Cause I'd need. Little freak has H&S Code violation written all over him. He's got a plastic bag of Meth in his pocket (assuming he has one); I know it...


Sunday, July 25, 2010

The Afghanistan Papers

There are two main stories in the New York Times today which are important enough to spend time reading, and considering: The first is Pakistan Aids Insurgency in Afghanistan, Reports Assert; and the second, Inside the Fog of War: Reports From the Ground in Afghanistan.

Both NYT reports are the result of approximately 90,000 items of classified material (roughly, two hundred thousand pages) about America's war in Afghanistan -- documentation made available through Wikileaks, the accountability organization based in Sweden. As the NYT reported, it was given access, along with the UK Guardian and the German magazine Der Spiegel, to the records several weeks ago on condition that they not publish any articles about them before today.

The Guardian referred to the release as "a devastating portrait of the failing war in Afghanistan, revealing how coalition forces have killed hundreds of civilians in unreported incidents, Taliban attacks have soared and NATO commanders fear neighboring Pakistan and Iran are fueling the insurgency."

Man; tell us something we didn't know, already.

But, before you start yawning and click away to eBay or Amazon -- this event is extremely important. What the meaning of 'National Security' truly is; how our country has remained willfully ignorant and apathetic about what has been happening in West Asia since 2001; and how governments manipulate public opinion and hide the effects of policy and strategy are only a few of the reasons.

Wikileak's release, which covers the period 2004 - 2009, is easily comparable to that of the Pentagon Papers in 1971, which revealed parts of the secret history of the Vietnam war.

Glenn Greenwald at Salon notes that

The White House has swiftly vowed to continue the war and predictably condemned WikiLeaks rather harshly. It will be most interesting to see how many Democrats -- who claim to find Daniel Ellsberg heroic and the Pentagon Papers leak to be unambiguously justified -- follow the White House's lead in that regard... It's not difficult to foresee, as Atrios predicted, that media "coverage of [the] latest [leak] will be about whether or not it should have been published," rather than about what these documents reveal about the war effort and the government and military leaders prosecuting it...

Note how obviously lame is the White House's prime tactic thus far for dismissing the importance of the leak: that the documents only go through December, 2009, the month when Obama ordered his "surge," as though that timeline leaves these documents without any current relevance. The Pentagon Papers only went up through 1968 and were not released until 3 years later (in 1971), yet having the public behold the dishonesty about the war had a significant effect on public opinion, as well as their willingness to trust future government pronouncements. At the very least, it's difficult to imagine this leak not having the same effect. Then again... it's possible that the public will remain largely apathetic ...


The first story details something anyone with half a brain who had been paying attention to events in West Asia since 1998 or so would know -- that Pakistan's intelligence service, the ISI, operated by the Pakistani military, had been secretly supporting the Taliban by providing active intelligence against American forces for almost a decade.

The ISI has also been implicated in assisting Pakistan's Dr. Strangelove, A.Q. Khan, to disseminate nuclear weapons technology to North Korea, Libya, and god knows where else.

The second story covers a five-year period of the Afghan war, from 2004 until December, 2009. The image is of a war that was essentially ignored by the Bush administration, run on a shoestring, and all but 'set up to fail'; promising the Kharzai government support in Afghanistan (which we never delivered), and ignoring the Islamic radical elements of the Musharraf regime in Pakistan. Lil' Boots believed the war in Iraq would end and the nation stabilized shortly after the March, 2003 invasion, and then the United States would mop up the Taliban and Al-Qaeda.

What happened instead was an utter and complete EPIC FAIL, like something out of Tolkein or Tolstoy. Iraq turned into a quagmire. In Afghanistan and Pakistan, through the labyrinthine nature of West Asian cultures (more about tribal and clan relationships than Western-style politics), the U.S. was subjected to manipulation and deceit by multiple levels of both country's military and political power structures.

It involved not only those countries, but the larger Arabic world, and Iran, and became the 'Death Of A Thousand Cuts' for the United States that's still going on. The Enemy Of My Enemy Is My Friend, in the Muslim world; think of the scenes of the Arab Council, tribes arguing over how Damascus will be governed, at the end of Lawrence Of Arabia.

On one level, we could say that George W. Bush and his pals just... made a bad call when they decided (not even a whole day after Lil' Boots was given his play-inauguration for his make-believe presidency) to invade Iraq. That even after September 11th, and the invasion of Afghanistan, when common sense dictated ignoring Iraq, and destroying Al-Qaeda in the mountains of Tora Bora and the Taliban elsewhere ... they decided not to do that.

On another level, as I've mentioned before, this was a strategic mistake on the order of diverting the 6th Army to take Stalingrad. If an American city is ever lost to an Al-Qaeda-created dirty bomb or worse, it will be on the head of Lil' Boots and his Bright Stars: Oh, well; hey; My Bad! YAAA-HOO! Let's be lovin' some freedom, huh? YAAA-HOO!

What does all this mean for Wikileaks? The organization's directors and membership is essentially anonymous, though it does have public spokespersons -- the most well-known being Julian Assinge, Wikileak's Editor-In-Chief. Hosted through servers in Sweden which allow Wikileaks anonymity and a high level of security, it has been severely criticized by the Obama administration, and in all probability subject to scrutiny by intelligence agencies (and, probably, corporate intelligence groups).

"In August 2009 Kaupthing, a large bank [in Iceland, notes Wikipedia], succeeded in obtaining a court order gagging Iceland’s national broadcaster, RUV, from broadcasting a risk analysis report showing the bank's substantial exposure to debt default risk. This information had been leaked by a whistleblower to Wikileaks... Citizens of Iceland felt outraged that RUV was prevented from broadcasting news of relevance.

"Therefore, Wikileaks has been credited with inspiring the Icelandic Modern Media Initiative, a bill meant to reclaim Iceland's 2007 Reporters Sans Frontieres ranking as first in the world for free speech. It aims to enact a range of protections for sources, journalists, and publishers."

It may not be a good idea to reveal intelligence or proprietary information on public forums. However, governments or corporations appear to make decisions regularly which affect the life of citizens or consumers, and keep information pertaining to those decisions secret. When The Powers That Be eliminate transparency and public review, public debate, about things which affect us, it's just another way of saying Government is too important to be left to the Peasants citizens which it is supposed to serve.

If Wikileaks were just a bunch of twentysomething anarchist hackers, it could be presented by our government and others as something that could be ignored; a fringe anomaly. But it isn't.

And yes, all this will be on the final.


Friday, July 23, 2010

Daniel Schorr (1916 – 2010)


Daniel Louis Schorr (August 31, 1916 – July 23, 2010)

To say that no one will be able to fill Daniel Louis Schorr's place; that today's journalists are, by comparison, people with poor cognitive and analytical abilities, brightly capped teeth, and will blow goats for (a ridiculously low sum of) money... Well, it sounds as if I'm one of those guys -- you know; old, squinting, balding white hair, stooped over a walker; yelling at the neighborhood children: Get Off My Damn Lawn, Ya Goddam Kids!

I'm not. I do remember Schorr as the reporter for CBS News who had developed a strong reputation as an insightful and analytical truth-teller, if not one with a deeply ironic sense of humor. I vaugely remember CBS executives (according to Wikipedia) being angry after Schorr (incorrectly) reported in 1964 that the openly-professed Right-wing GOP nominee for President, Barry Goldwater, was going to "travel to Germany to join-up with the right-wing there," and visit "Hitler's one-time stomping ground" in Berchestgaden.

In 1971, after a dispute with White House aides H.R. Haldeman and John Erlichman, Schorr's friends, neighbors, and co-workers were questioned by the FBI (still run then by J.Edgar Hoover) in a full-scale background investigation. The cover story was that Schorr was under consideration for a high-level government position, which was a lie. During the Watergate hearings, Schorr read Nixon's "Enemies List" list aloud on live TV, and was surprised to find his own name on it. Schorr won Emmys for news reporting in 1972, 1973, and 1974.

However, in 1976 Schorr provoked controversy within CBS when he received and made public the contents of the secret Pike Committee report on illegal CIA and FBI activities during the 1960's and 1970's -- which included illegal spying on American citizens, 'black-bag' jobs and intimidation; and the CIA's infamous Phoenix Program of targeted assassination in Southeast Asia.

Called to testify before Congress, Schorr refused to identify his source on First Amendment grounds, risking imprisonment. While he did not go to jail, executives at CBS wanted him gone -- and Schorr ultimately resigned at age sixty in September of 1976.

In 1979, Ted Turner's cable news CNN, a brand-new concept in American media, hired its first on-camera employee -- Daniel Schorr, who reported news and delivered commentary and news analysis. His contract was not renewed in 1985, one of the two times he stated he had been fired (the other being at CBS in 1976). After that, Schorr moved to National Public Radio as its Senior News Analyst, a position he held for almost twenty-five years until he died today.

Listening to Schorr tell listeners in his slightly froggy, gravelly voice (a cross between a university professor's and a psychoanalyst's) what was what, who was to blame, and what the likely outcomes were in the more serious issues of the day.

Because of his background, I trusted him -- he did what truth-tellers are supposed to do, and was willing to take risks to bring the truth to light. And you knew he was telling the truth, because (like Walter Cronkite, another CBS journalist from the same generation) Schorr never truly exploited his own reputation as a competent professional. He simply reported facts that the three-ring circus media now ignores, or immediately gives a Rightist spin. I looked forward to hearing what he had to say: Oh yeah; Daniel Schorr -- okay, let's listen; what does he think about this?

And if they were uncomfortable facts; if they gave people living in a Republic too much information about what goes on behind the curtains of power... well, too bad. People who don't want to know can always watch the Little Rupert Fun Bundist Network, and get the Võlkischer Beobachter perspective on our times.

It's incredibly validating, empowering, to have someone in an officially-recognized role in the culture saying what many of us recognize but don't believe we have the credibility to say out loud -- because, who the hell are we; and who listens to what we say (as a Dog, I get that all the time).

In ancient cultures, Oracles were given a special place as divinators of the will of the gods, and the meaning of signs or times of apparent miracles and curses -- and where such "interesting times" might take us. The best of them told the truth; the worst used their positions to feed their own vanities and give them more personal influence.

Dan Schorr was clearly among the former -- just as clearly as the Hannitys and Becks and Lard Boys, the bright and happy know-nothing talking heads which bring us the nightly, corporate consensus that passes for news are clumped among the latter. I'll miss him.

And, get off my teevee, ya goddam kids.


Thursday, July 22, 2010

Look Up, Not Down


(Photo: AFP / Getty Images)

The Summer Solstice at Stonehenge, June 21, 2010.