Thunderstorm Over Berlin, June 29 (Pawel Kopczynski / Reuters)
Click On Image To Expand: Einfach und Spaß!
Thursday, July 12, 2012
Natur
What I'm Missing
Thunderstorm Over Berlin, June 29 (Pawel Kopczynski / Reuters)
Click On Image To Expand: Einfach und Spaß!
Thunderstorm Over Berlin, June 29 (Pawel Kopczynski / Reuters)
Click On Image To Expand: Einfach und Spaß!
Wednesday, July 4, 2012
Elusive Higgs Boson Found, Maybe
Fifty-Year Hunt Comes To Quiet End On A Quiet Street
While you slept, a team of investigators in Switzerland announced that after nearly fifty years, they may have apprehended Higgs Boson, described as "one of the heaviest" and most elusive of figures in the universal underworld.
Higgs Boson In Custody In Geneva; The Unique Fingerprint Which
May Confirm His Identity (Photo: Interpol)
The move was carried out by Switzerland's Criminal Elimination of Robbery and Narcotics unit, or CERN, which had conducted sporadic raids at various locations world-wide for the past decade, seeking information about Boson's whereabouts.
According to CERN chief investigator Rolf-Dieter Heuer, after developing promising leads several years ago the unit had reduced Boson's possible hiding places "down to a narrow range", predominantly in Switzerland, though unconfirmed sightings of Boson had recently occurred in the United States.
Swiss Tactical Polizei Taking Boson Into Custody
(Photo: Neue Züricher Unterwäsche Tagliche Zeitung)
Acting on tips from multiple informants, CERN's investigators determined that Boson was livinging in a specific Geneva address, between numbers 100 and 135 Genvieve-Victoriastrasse. In a pre-dawn raid of the entire street, Boson was found hiding in a bathroom at number 125 Ge-Vc.
"He was sitting on the toilet, drinking coffee and reading a copy of Hello magazine," Heuer said. "He was very calm, very polite. While he would not positively admit to his identity, we're fairly certain -- this is Higgs Boson."
It was further reported that when apprehended, Boson's copy of 'Hello' magazine was open to an article on the recent appearance of talented British classical-pop crossover singer Katherine Jenkins at the recent Epsom Downs Derby Day celebrations.
Alleged Photo Of Boson, 1980; British Mezzo-Soprano
Katherine Jenkins: Did An Obsession With Singer Lead
To Boson's Capture? (Photo: South Wales Evening Post)
Higgs Boson came to the attention of investigators worldwide after a late-night discussion following an Interpol conference in London the early 1960's. "Was there a controlling figure behind other activities we were reporting?" asked T.W.B. Kibble, a retired investigator who attended the meeting. "Some force which had to be considered, causing other parts of the dark universe that lives around us to do as they directed?"
"The Activities Of Higgs Boson Touch Each Of Us At
Our Most Fundamental Level", Say CERN Investigators
The small group of detectives agreed to look in their own areas for evidence of such a figure. "Eventually we had to admit -- such a controlling presence was undeniable", recalled investigator Robert Bout, who also remembered that there was evidence to support their belief, "but whoever this was, their influence was brief, instantaneous. As quickly as they showed up, they disappeared."
Boson apparently began to come to the attention of The London Metropolitan Police with the rise and disappearance of Doug and Dinsdale, the infamous Piranha Brothers. Met Detectives knew "a more sophisticated hand had been put into the glove what was the Piranha Brothers," said retired Met Detective ChiefMurdoch Bagman Inspecting Constable Reginald Prouthee.
Was Higgs Boson The Terrible Force Behind Britian's
Infamous Piranha Brothers? (Photo: Maxine Piranha)
"I mean, you don't walk into a grocier's and threaten to use a tactical nuclear weapon just to get the poor bugger to buy a fruit machine," Prouthee recalled. "That's a bit of overkill, that is, and we all agreed down the Met -- Dougie and Dinsdale weren't that sophisticated and some other bugger's what's behind it all. And that's when we started looking at this Boson chap."
Rare Surveillance Photo Of Younger Boson On London
Street, 1980's (London Met / Rebecca Brooks Division)
Higgs Boson resided primarily in London, "but could have been from anywhere, really," said Gerald Guralnik, another of the early group trying to determine Boson's existence and activities. "All we knew was, he seemed to have his hand in everything, worldwide. He was a pervasive influence."
"If he wants to," Heuer added, "He affects people's kids. He affects their wives, their parents, then he goes after their parent's friends, their businesses. He gets into everything they need or own, or ever will -- and then, like that -- he's gone, like he was never there."
Boson was, they came to believe, more powerful than any Narco-baron. "We're convinced he killed Kaiser Söze," Rolf-Dieter Heuer told reporters in Geneva. "Personally shoved him into a tree-mulcher, feet first. Boson is worse than any Russian mafioso, more heartless than any hedge fund manager or central banker."
Kaiser Söze, Feared Underworld Leader Who Disappeared
Into A Tree Mulcher In The Late 1990's. Did His Interest
In Singer Jenkins Lead To His End? (Photo: Examiner)
Boson's interests, say CERN investigators, run the entire spectrum of activity in the known world. "We have to ask ourselves; what wasn't Higgs Boson involved in?" said Heuer. However, despite his ability to manipulate so much, Boson lived modestly and traveled almost constantly, not usually noticed but accepted at the highest levels of society.
Photo Which Investigators Say Was Emailed Anonymously
To Singer Jenkins: Was Boson Behind The Breakup With
Gethin Jones? (Photo: Rex Features / UK Telegraph)
While the Swiss team is not 100% certain that whom they hold in custody is Higgs Boson, they are confident they will be able to confirm his identity. "It's all a matter of time," says CERN's Heuer. "He hasn't even requested an attorney, yet. All he's asked for is a copy of Hello magazine with Katherine Jenkins' picture in it."
"That's why I think we've got him," Heuer says. "Time will tell."
Why Is Higgs Boson Focused On A British Singer?
Or, Are The Answers To That Question Too Obvious?
While you slept, a team of investigators in Switzerland announced that after nearly fifty years, they may have apprehended Higgs Boson, described as "one of the heaviest" and most elusive of figures in the universal underworld.
Higgs Boson In Custody In Geneva; The Unique Fingerprint Which
May Confirm His Identity (Photo: Interpol)
The move was carried out by Switzerland's Criminal Elimination of Robbery and Narcotics unit, or CERN, which had conducted sporadic raids at various locations world-wide for the past decade, seeking information about Boson's whereabouts.
According to CERN chief investigator Rolf-Dieter Heuer, after developing promising leads several years ago the unit had reduced Boson's possible hiding places "down to a narrow range", predominantly in Switzerland, though unconfirmed sightings of Boson had recently occurred in the United States.
Swiss Tactical Polizei Taking Boson Into Custody
(Photo: Neue Züricher Unterwäsche Tagliche Zeitung)
Acting on tips from multiple informants, CERN's investigators determined that Boson was livinging in a specific Geneva address, between numbers 100 and 135 Genvieve-Victoriastrasse. In a pre-dawn raid of the entire street, Boson was found hiding in a bathroom at number 125 Ge-Vc.
"He was sitting on the toilet, drinking coffee and reading a copy of Hello magazine," Heuer said. "He was very calm, very polite. While he would not positively admit to his identity, we're fairly certain -- this is Higgs Boson."
It was further reported that when apprehended, Boson's copy of 'Hello' magazine was open to an article on the recent appearance of talented British classical-pop crossover singer Katherine Jenkins at the recent Epsom Downs Derby Day celebrations.
Alleged Photo Of Boson, 1980; British Mezzo-Soprano
Katherine Jenkins: Did An Obsession With Singer Lead
To Boson's Capture? (Photo: South Wales Evening Post)
Higgs Boson came to the attention of investigators worldwide after a late-night discussion following an Interpol conference in London the early 1960's. "Was there a controlling figure behind other activities we were reporting?" asked T.W.B. Kibble, a retired investigator who attended the meeting. "Some force which had to be considered, causing other parts of the dark universe that lives around us to do as they directed?"
"The Activities Of Higgs Boson Touch Each Of Us At
Our Most Fundamental Level", Say CERN Investigators
The small group of detectives agreed to look in their own areas for evidence of such a figure. "Eventually we had to admit -- such a controlling presence was undeniable", recalled investigator Robert Bout, who also remembered that there was evidence to support their belief, "but whoever this was, their influence was brief, instantaneous. As quickly as they showed up, they disappeared."
Boson apparently began to come to the attention of The London Metropolitan Police with the rise and disappearance of Doug and Dinsdale, the infamous Piranha Brothers. Met Detectives knew "a more sophisticated hand had been put into the glove what was the Piranha Brothers," said retired Met Detective Chief
Was Higgs Boson The Terrible Force Behind Britian's
Infamous Piranha Brothers? (Photo: Maxine Piranha)
"I mean, you don't walk into a grocier's and threaten to use a tactical nuclear weapon just to get the poor bugger to buy a fruit machine," Prouthee recalled. "That's a bit of overkill, that is, and we all agreed down the Met -- Dougie and Dinsdale weren't that sophisticated and some other bugger's what's behind it all. And that's when we started looking at this Boson chap."
Rare Surveillance Photo Of Younger Boson On London
Street, 1980's (London Met / Rebecca Brooks Division)
Higgs Boson resided primarily in London, "but could have been from anywhere, really," said Gerald Guralnik, another of the early group trying to determine Boson's existence and activities. "All we knew was, he seemed to have his hand in everything, worldwide. He was a pervasive influence."
"If he wants to," Heuer added, "He affects people's kids. He affects their wives, their parents, then he goes after their parent's friends, their businesses. He gets into everything they need or own, or ever will -- and then, like that -- he's gone, like he was never there."
Boson was, they came to believe, more powerful than any Narco-baron. "We're convinced he killed Kaiser Söze," Rolf-Dieter Heuer told reporters in Geneva. "Personally shoved him into a tree-mulcher, feet first. Boson is worse than any Russian mafioso, more heartless than any hedge fund manager or central banker."
Kaiser Söze, Feared Underworld Leader Who Disappeared
Into A Tree Mulcher In The Late 1990's. Did His Interest
In Singer Jenkins Lead To His End? (Photo: Examiner)
Boson's interests, say CERN investigators, run the entire spectrum of activity in the known world. "We have to ask ourselves; what wasn't Higgs Boson involved in?" said Heuer. However, despite his ability to manipulate so much, Boson lived modestly and traveled almost constantly, not usually noticed but accepted at the highest levels of society.
Photo Which Investigators Say Was Emailed Anonymously
To Singer Jenkins: Was Boson Behind The Breakup With
Gethin Jones? (Photo: Rex Features / UK Telegraph)
While the Swiss team is not 100% certain that whom they hold in custody is Higgs Boson, they are confident they will be able to confirm his identity. "It's all a matter of time," says CERN's Heuer. "He hasn't even requested an attorney, yet. All he's asked for is a copy of Hello magazine with Katherine Jenkins' picture in it."
"That's why I think we've got him," Heuer says. "Time will tell."
Why Is Higgs Boson Focused On A British Singer?
Or, Are The Answers To That Question Too Obvious?
Saturday, June 30, 2012
Fish And Mouse
Echoes Of The Air Pirates
"Mr Fish" is possibly the most acerbic and sharp-eyed, brook-no-bullshit editorial cartoonist / artist to appear in the past thirty years. Recently, Da Fish published a panel showing Dumbo, beloved character of the film by the same name, bemoaning his being confused with the symbol of the Republican Party -- which is now a racist, troglodyte political church.
They are the 'party' of hostility to women, minorities, and the poor. The 'ideas' this collective mutant freakshow represents are repression, exploitation, and simple, rapacious greed. They are political surrogates of the rich.
They are, in short, an abomination that should be scraped from the surface of the earth -- and they feel pretty much the same about America's Left and Progressive Dogs like myself.
If I were Dumbo, I'd be unhappy, too. The only group which could be less happy than the Elephant are his owners, the Walt Disney Company, which the character in The Fish cartoon describes as a
Because, Da Mouse got no sense of humor when it comes to 'creative license' with its loveable characters, and there's a bit of history which precedes Mr Fish's action which he's probably aware of. You may not be -- but, luckily, you and three other people and the Parakeet reading this blog also know a talking Dog with a long memory.
Underground Comics in America began in the mid-1960's, as prominent a fixture in popular art as the concert and music posters being created by Alton Kelly, his occasional collaborator Stanley Mouse, Vic Moscoso, Rick Griffin and Wes Wilson. Since 1954, comic books in the United States had been reviewed and approved by the Comics Code Authority, the industry's version of self-censorship which refused to publish depictions of violence, sexuality, drug use and socially relevant content in comics.
In other words, it was perfectly correct to depict American soldiers killing Our Enemies in generic War Against The Reds Comics (whatever they were actually called). It was fine to depict America's teenagers frolicking cleanly in Archie and Jughead. It was acceptable because Badness never wins, and Goodness, American-style, always triumphs in the Land Of The Free.
It was not correct or acceptable to introduce America's Youth to reefers, or to suggest sexual behavior between The Next Generation Of Americans. It was not correct to use profane language, or depict The American Way as ethically ambiguous or, at times, Wrong, or to show crimes committed which did not eventually lead to punishment.
There wereOccupy protestors Al-Qaeda Unions Commies in that world long ago, sworn to subvert our American Way Of Life -- and organizations like the Comics Code Authority or the Catholic Legion Of Decency or the Hays Commission or the House Un-American Activities Committee were there to protect us -- from ourselves. For our own good.
So much of our history, since the turn of the last century, has been wrapped up in the dichotomy between official "truth", and Reality. This disparity has always been true, but with the Civil Rights movement, the assassination of President John F. Kennedy in 1963 and the escalation of war in Southeast Asia less than a year later, more people felt that sense of cognitive dissonance in life; the worm at the heart of the rose.
Some people did something about it; some were musicians, writers and artists: So, a "counterculture". In 'Popular' art there was a literal explosion of 'alternative' cartoons and comics between 1967 and into the Seventies -- it was as if Jules Feiffer and the Free Speech Movement and the Village Voice begat the Berkeley Barb and the L.A Express and, ultimately, Zap Comix.
Issues of comics like Zap, Yellow Dog Comix; Arcade; Bijou Funnies; Wimmens Comix; Mister Natural; Motor City Comix, Junkwaffel and others were risky to print or distribute. Their content made them adults-only publications, and like cigarettes, or liquor (or what was referred to in my child-time as Beaver Magazines), sales to minors were prohibited by law; anyone ignoring that fact could face fines, revocation of a business license, or even jail time.
From the perspective of the early 21st century, the contents of "Comix" from the Sixties seems tame. How could anyone get pushed out of shape by most of this stuff? There is demonstrably worse language, skin and 'deviant behavior' on Cable teevee. Well, you kinda had to be there. . And in order for all that to seem tame, someone had to push the limits of what's considered publicly acceptable artistic expression.
In 1971, a group of cartoonists who had been active for several years creating their own individual work produced two issues of an underground comic called Air Pirates Funnies. Founded by Dan O'Neill (who had a syndicated newspaper comic strip, "Odds Bodkins"), the group included Shary Flenniken, Bobby London ("Dirty Duck"), Gary Hallgren, and Ted Richards. Together, in San Francisco, they constituted the Air Pirates Collective.
(Publishing a counterculture parody using Disney's characters didn't originate with The Air Pirates; In 1967, Lee Krassner's conspiracy-theorist magazine, The Realist, published a cartoon, "The Disneyland Memorial Orgy". The Disney organization was not amused.)
The Air Pirates Collective published a number of works besides the Air Pirates Funnies -- O'Neill released a Comics and Stories issue, a collection of Bobby London' "Dirty Duck" (which began appearing in National Lampoon magazine), among other titles. A Trots and Bonnie issue by Shary Flenniken was announced, but never appeared; Flenniken's work joined London's as a contributor to the Lampoon's comics pages.
By drawing their flagship character as a dope-smoking, profanity-using mouse who literally begs for sex and gets involved in complicated situations, Dan O'Neill knew he was shaking a rag at the Disney Company bull. In fact, he appeared to be spoiling for a First Amendment fight: Again according to Wikipedia, O'Neill arranged for copies of "Air Pirates Funnies" (which had gone through two issues, and a third being readied) to be smuggled into a meeting of the Disney Co. board of directors in mid-1971.
By October of that year, "Disney filed a lawsuit alleging, among other things, copyright infringement, trademark infringement and unfair competition" against O'Neill, London and other members of the Air Pirates collective. Counsel for The Pirates claimed that the Funnies were parody, and legally permitted under the doctrine of fair use.
During all this, O'Neill continued drawing The Mouse in violation of the original 1971 restraining order, publishing a new Mickey Mouse story in publisher Stewart Brand's magazine, CoEvolution Quarterly in 1979. Disney demanded O'Neill be held in contempt of court and jailed, along with Brand.
The opinion over O'Neill's colorful defiance is split: On one side, advocates of free speech, pushing the envelope of artistic expression and sticking it to the Man because "No one can tell me I can't draw a mouse!". On the other are those who believe the lawsuit handed a victory to Disney that set back future attempts to define and expand the limits of parody and fair use.
However, and this is just one Dog's opinion, other artists have expanded on the Air Pirates' parody of Mickey as an opportunity to keep pushing the limits of what constitutes infringement and fair use -- for example, in an episode of "Family Guy" that aired on a local teevee channel this evening ("A Hero Next Door"), Peter walks past his new paraplegic police officer neighbor, looking like a recognizable cartoon character.
But, I'm really reminded of Chris Ware's character, Quimby The Mouse. The idea of using a mouse in a cartoon isn't copyrighted... but in looking at Ware's drawing, it's hard not to see the iconic shadow of our collective childhood at work -- and the history of the Air Pirates' work.
The Air Pirates are still with us. O'Neill is still drawing. So is Shary Flenniken, and Bobby London, Ted Richards and Gary Hallgren. O'Neill is still kicking ass and taking names, in the artistic sense.
I met O'Neill briefly in the early 90's when he was involved in attempting to open a club for politically-motivated standup comedy in San Francisco's North Beach (another local artist set up the meeting to discuss my doing posters promoting the effort). O'Neill and I played a few games of pool; I was impressed by his gentle sense of humor, bracketed by a sharp spirit that brooked no bullshit.
We didn't discuss the Air Pirates or the suit with Disney at that or any other subsequent meetings. Even though O'Neill is one of America's principal comic illustrators of the counterculture era, I never pumped him for reminisinces or details about hanging out and working with the likes of Crumb, London, Flenniken, Green, Shelton, et al. If you ran into Manet, you wouldn't monopolize having a conversation with him by focusing on the controversy around Déjeuner Sur L'herbe.
Mr Fish, in my opinion, is another artist who brooks no bullshit in a similar way. He tells the truth, he pushes the limits of "what is considered acceptable content" in parody or humor. Recently, in Truthdig, he published an article, "Obscenity", recounting a moment in his childhood when certain things about the freedom of expression became clear [paragraphing added for emphasis]:
(Cartoon: Mr Fish, June 18, 2012)
"Mr Fish" is possibly the most acerbic and sharp-eyed, brook-no-bullshit editorial cartoonist / artist to appear in the past thirty years. Recently, Da Fish published a panel showing Dumbo, beloved character of the film by the same name, bemoaning his being confused with the symbol of the Republican Party -- which is now a racist, troglodyte political church.
They are the 'party' of hostility to women, minorities, and the poor. The 'ideas' this collective mutant freakshow represents are repression, exploitation, and simple, rapacious greed. They are political surrogates of the rich.
They are, in short, an abomination that should be scraped from the surface of the earth -- and they feel pretty much the same about America's Left and Progressive Dogs like myself.
If I were Dumbo, I'd be unhappy, too. The only group which could be less happy than the Elephant are his owners, the Walt Disney Company, which the character in The Fish cartoon describes as a
multi-national, multi-gazillion-dollar corporation that promotes sexist and racist and ethnocentric stereotypes, unhealthy body image, unrealistic notions of moral and immoral behavior... the myth that everybody is a hero and that success and happiness happen in direct correlation with the effort a person exerts towards realizing his or her dreams...Now that Herr Fisch has published the cartoon (and it's a good cartoon), he may be waiting for the arrival of The Letter From Counsel For The Mouse. And at that point, I'm sure another thing will happen.
Because, Da Mouse got no sense of humor when it comes to 'creative license' with its loveable characters, and there's a bit of history which precedes Mr Fish's action which he's probably aware of. You may not be -- but, luckily, you and three other people and the Parakeet reading this blog also know a talking Dog with a long memory.
Artist Dan O'Neill, Holding Original 'Air Pirates' Art At Comic-Con
(Photo © Gruntzooki [Cory Doctorow])
Underground Comics in America began in the mid-1960's, as prominent a fixture in popular art as the concert and music posters being created by Alton Kelly, his occasional collaborator Stanley Mouse, Vic Moscoso, Rick Griffin and Wes Wilson. Since 1954, comic books in the United States had been reviewed and approved by the Comics Code Authority, the industry's version of self-censorship which refused to publish depictions of violence, sexuality, drug use and socially relevant content in comics.
In other words, it was perfectly correct to depict American soldiers killing Our Enemies in generic War Against The Reds Comics (whatever they were actually called). It was fine to depict America's teenagers frolicking cleanly in Archie and Jughead. It was acceptable because Badness never wins, and Goodness, American-style, always triumphs in the Land Of The Free.
Approved Comic Images: Manly Heroism, Dead Reds, Homemakers
(Click On Photo For Larger Image; It's Easy And Fun!)
It was not correct or acceptable to introduce America's Youth to reefers, or to suggest sexual behavior between The Next Generation Of Americans. It was not correct to use profane language, or depict The American Way as ethically ambiguous or, at times, Wrong, or to show crimes committed which did not eventually lead to punishment.
There were
Gilbert Shelton, Little Orphan Amphetamine; "Fabulous Furry Freak Brothers"
Comix, 1969. Clearly, Not 'DC Comics Code' Material.
(Click On Photo For Larger Image; Easy And Fun!)
So much of our history, since the turn of the last century, has been wrapped up in the dichotomy between official "truth", and Reality. This disparity has always been true, but with the Civil Rights movement, the assassination of President John F. Kennedy in 1963 and the escalation of war in Southeast Asia less than a year later, more people felt that sense of cognitive dissonance in life; the worm at the heart of the rose.
Some people did something about it; some were musicians, writers and artists: So, a "counterculture". In 'Popular' art there was a literal explosion of 'alternative' cartoons and comics between 1967 and into the Seventies -- it was as if Jules Feiffer and the Free Speech Movement and the Village Voice begat the Berkeley Barb and the L.A Express and, ultimately, Zap Comix.
Issues of comics like Zap, Yellow Dog Comix; Arcade; Bijou Funnies; Wimmens Comix; Mister Natural; Motor City Comix, Junkwaffel and others were risky to print or distribute. Their content made them adults-only publications, and like cigarettes, or liquor (or what was referred to in my child-time as Beaver Magazines), sales to minors were prohibited by law; anyone ignoring that fact could face fines, revocation of a business license, or even jail time.
From the perspective of the early 21st century, the contents of "Comix" from the Sixties seems tame. How could anyone get pushed out of shape by most of this stuff? There is demonstrably worse language, skin and 'deviant behavior' on Cable teevee. Well, you kinda had to be there. . And in order for all that to seem tame, someone had to push the limits of what's considered publicly acceptable artistic expression.
Air Pirates Funnies, Issue No. 1, 1971
In 1971, a group of cartoonists who had been active for several years creating their own individual work produced two issues of an underground comic called Air Pirates Funnies. Founded by Dan O'Neill (who had a syndicated newspaper comic strip, "Odds Bodkins"), the group included Shary Flenniken, Bobby London ("Dirty Duck"), Gary Hallgren, and Ted Richards. Together, in San Francisco, they constituted the Air Pirates Collective.
An Original London's Dirty Duck: Part Groucho, Part Herriman
(Click On Photo For Larger Image; It's Easy! Okay, It's Fun Too!)
© Bobby London
Not The Creature Made In Burbank: O'Neill's Mouse
The Air Pirates intended to push the boundaries of what was considered "fair use" in creating parody in art, and freely used Disney's flagship characters, Mickey and Minnie Mouse; according to Wikipedia, "O'Neill insisted it would dilute the parody to change the names of the characters, so his adventurous mouse ... was called "Mickey". Ted Richards took on the Big Bad Wolf and the Three Little Pigs, opening up a second wave of parody attacking Disney's grab of contemporary American and European folklore." (Publishing a counterculture parody using Disney's characters didn't originate with The Air Pirates; In 1967, Lee Krassner's conspiracy-theorist magazine, The Realist, published a cartoon, "The Disneyland Memorial Orgy". The Disney organization was not amused.)
The Air Pirates Collective published a number of works besides the Air Pirates Funnies -- O'Neill released a Comics and Stories issue, a collection of Bobby London' "Dirty Duck" (which began appearing in National Lampoon magazine), among other titles. A Trots and Bonnie issue by Shary Flenniken was announced, but never appeared; Flenniken's work joined London's as a contributor to the Lampoon's comics pages.
Shary Flenniken's Trots And Bonnie, © Shary Flenniken
(Click On Photo For... You Know The Drill.)
By drawing their flagship character as a dope-smoking, profanity-using mouse who literally begs for sex and gets involved in complicated situations, Dan O'Neill knew he was shaking a rag at the Disney Company bull. In fact, he appeared to be spoiling for a First Amendment fight: Again according to Wikipedia, O'Neill arranged for copies of "Air Pirates Funnies" (which had gone through two issues, and a third being readied) to be smuggled into a meeting of the Disney Co. board of directors in mid-1971.
By October of that year, "Disney filed a lawsuit alleging, among other things, copyright infringement, trademark infringement and unfair competition" against O'Neill, London and other members of the Air Pirates collective. Counsel for The Pirates claimed that the Funnies were parody, and legally permitted under the doctrine of fair use.
Accurately telling the story of Disney's lawsuit against the Air Pirates is difficult, due to the conflicting memories of the litigants; however, it is fair to say that all through the lawsuit, O'Neill was defiant.In 1978, the Federal Ninth Circuit Court Of Appeals in San Francisco ruled 3 - 0 against the Air Pirates for copyright infringement, and the U.S. Supreme Court refused to hear a further, last appeal.
The initial decision by Judge Wollenberg in the California District Court, delivered on July 7, 1972, went against the Air Pirates... During the legal proceedings and in violation of [a] temporary restraining order, the Air Pirates published some of the material intended for the third issue... [which led to 10,000 copies of a comic, "The Tortoise and the Hare" to be] confiscated... In 1975, Disney won a $200,000 preliminary judgement and another restraining order, which O'Neill defied by continuing to draw Disney parodies.
During all this, O'Neill continued drawing The Mouse in violation of the original 1971 restraining order, publishing a new Mickey Mouse story in publisher Stewart Brand's magazine, CoEvolution Quarterly in 1979. Disney demanded O'Neill be held in contempt of court and jailed, along with Brand.
O'Neill delivered [the new Mouse story] in person to the Disney studios, where he posed drawing Mickey Mouse at an animation table and allegedly smoked a joint in the late Walt Disney's office.ONeill abided by this agreement and no further Mickey Mouse stories appeared in print.
In 1980, weighing the unrecoverable $190,000 in damages and $2,000,000 in legal fees against O'Neill's continuing disregard for the court's decisions, the Walt Disney Company settled the case, dropping the contempt charges and promising not to enforce the judgment as long as the Pirates no longer infringed Disney's copyrights.
The opinion over O'Neill's colorful defiance is split: On one side, advocates of free speech, pushing the envelope of artistic expression and sticking it to the Man because "No one can tell me I can't draw a mouse!". On the other are those who believe the lawsuit handed a victory to Disney that set back future attempts to define and expand the limits of parody and fair use.
Peter Griffin Shows His Inner Mickey -- You Don't
See Disney Suing Fox Over This, Do You?
However, and this is just one Dog's opinion, other artists have expanded on the Air Pirates' parody of Mickey as an opportunity to keep pushing the limits of what constitutes infringement and fair use -- for example, in an episode of "Family Guy" that aired on a local teevee channel this evening ("A Hero Next Door"), Peter walks past his new paraplegic police officer neighbor, looking like a recognizable cartoon character.
Chris Ware; Original Art For Quimby The Mouse
(Click On Photo For Larger Image. We Beg You.)
But, I'm really reminded of Chris Ware's character, Quimby The Mouse. The idea of using a mouse in a cartoon isn't copyrighted... but in looking at Ware's drawing, it's hard not to see the iconic shadow of our collective childhood at work -- and the history of the Air Pirates' work.
The Air Pirates are still with us. O'Neill is still drawing. So is Shary Flenniken, and Bobby London, Ted Richards and Gary Hallgren. O'Neill is still kicking ass and taking names, in the artistic sense.
I met O'Neill briefly in the early 90's when he was involved in attempting to open a club for politically-motivated standup comedy in San Francisco's North Beach (another local artist set up the meeting to discuss my doing posters promoting the effort). O'Neill and I played a few games of pool; I was impressed by his gentle sense of humor, bracketed by a sharp spirit that brooked no bullshit.
We didn't discuss the Air Pirates or the suit with Disney at that or any other subsequent meetings. Even though O'Neill is one of America's principal comic illustrators of the counterculture era, I never pumped him for reminisinces or details about hanging out and working with the likes of Crumb, London, Flenniken, Green, Shelton, et al. If you ran into Manet, you wouldn't monopolize having a conversation with him by focusing on the controversy around Déjeuner Sur L'herbe.
Mr Fish, in my opinion, is another artist who brooks no bullshit in a similar way. He tells the truth, he pushes the limits of "what is considered acceptable content" in parody or humor. Recently, in Truthdig, he published an article, "Obscenity", recounting a moment in his childhood when certain things about the freedom of expression became clear [paragraphing added for emphasis]:
The idea to save the world by writing FUCK YOUR ASS on 100 pieces of paper, folding them into airplanes and floating them out my bedroom window like dandelion spores came to me over Memorial Day weekend about 15 minutes after I started horsing around with my older brother Jeff in the back seat of my mother’s station wagon...I have a feeling that O'Neill would agree with that. And, when he sees the cartoon of Dumbo sitting at the bar (something tells me he has), I believe he'll smile: One reason we can laugh at that Disney-character parody is due, in part, to The Air Pirates having already explored that territory, first.
Jeff was trying to wrestle me into a headlock so that he could spit an ice cube down the back of my shirt... when I accidentally kicked him so hard in the nuts that I swear he blacked out for a full 30 seconds.
Ten minutes later I ... explained to my stepfather how I, without provocation, had kicked him in the balls.
“Testicles,” corrected my stepfather, narrowing his eyes like a marine biologist who had just pointed out someone’s misclassification of a dolphin as a porpoise...
“They’re testicles, not balls.”
“Well, aren’t they the same thing?”
“Yeah,” said my stepfather, “of course they are, but just call them testicles. Saying balls upsets your mother.”
...To suddenly realize at age 7 that balls and testicles referred to the same thing was a real eye-opener for me. It meant that the obscenity of the word balls was not intrinsic to the thing that it referred to, but rather to the word itself -- to the physicality of the word, to how it looked and sounded.
How else to explain the acceptability of the word testicles, which referred to the same thing that the word balls did and was not obscene? ...
The debate about the obscenity of words seemed no different to me from the civil rights era debates about what freedom and justice and equality should look like... It was time to demand equal rights for all speech because all speech was connected to all ideas, which were connected to all deeds, which were connected to all acts, which were connected to all hopes and dreams, both realized and not.
Thursday, June 28, 2012
What Dog Is Thinking
Slow News Day
My Cousin Ed, In Southern California, Contemplating Dining
Al Fresco (Don't Worry; Ed's Not Like That. The Kid's Fine)
My Cousin Ed, In Southern California, Contemplating Dining
Al Fresco (Don't Worry; Ed's Not Like That. The Kid's Fine)
Monday, June 25, 2012
Little Johnny's Tree House
Not Worth The Spittle
Today, Little Johnny's Tree House Gang showed us some of the special, super-fun projects they've been working on. Johnny smiled a lot.
"Fat Tony" Scalia and Sammy The Weasel showed us a sign they made, that says Va Fun Kulo Amurika. Johnny smiled some more.
Then Johnny and all his super friends -- Tony, Sammy, Oreo and Billy -- all sang a fun song about how great it was to be king, not a thing that they'd rather be than king, ring-a-ding-ding, and corporations are people, too; so Up WithExceptionally Rich People!
Johnny laughed, and went wee-wee-wee-wee all the way home, where he had roast beef.
The alleged pinnacle of what was once a model of jurisprudence has, again, been turned into an ideological cesspool.
Ashamed to be an American, today. I'll be even more ashamed later in the week.
MEHR: Well, I'm surprised, and not so ashamed: Johnny joined with Justices Ginsburg, Soltero, Kagan and Breyer in upholding the core of the act. Perhaps he felt he had to, given that he and his Tree House Buddies already gave away the store on Citizens United.
Fat Tony, Sammy The Weasel, Billy, and Oreo cried and hurled their minority opinion at the American People, along with some of their own feces.
Well, it was somebody's victory about something, I guess. What happens next? Dunno.
Today, Little Johnny's Tree House Gang showed us some of the special, super-fun projects they've been working on. Johnny smiled a lot.
"Fat Tony" Scalia and Sammy The Weasel showed us a sign they made, that says Va Fun Kulo Amurika. Johnny smiled some more.
Then Johnny and all his super friends -- Tony, Sammy, Oreo and Billy -- all sang a fun song about how great it was to be king, not a thing that they'd rather be than king, ring-a-ding-ding, and corporations are people, too; so Up With
Johnny laughed, and went wee-wee-wee-wee all the way home, where he had roast beef.
The alleged pinnacle of what was once a model of jurisprudence has, again, been turned into an ideological cesspool.
Ashamed to be an American, today. I'll be even more ashamed later in the week.
MEHR: Well, I'm surprised, and not so ashamed: Johnny joined with Justices Ginsburg, Soltero, Kagan and Breyer in upholding the core of the act. Perhaps he felt he had to, given that he and his Tree House Buddies already gave away the store on Citizens United.
Fat Tony, Sammy The Weasel, Billy, and Oreo cried and hurled their minority opinion at the American People, along with some of their own feces.
Well, it was somebody's victory about something, I guess. What happens next? Dunno.
Saturday, June 23, 2012
Legal Closure
Sandusky Convicted On 45 Counts
Yesterday evening, Jerry Sandusky was convicted on the vast majority of 48 counts in the indictment brought against him for child molestation, sodomy, and rape.
I had a much longer version of this post up earlier; there wasn't anything in it, legally or morally, that should make me edit it, since it focused on the investigators and Center County DA's office congratulating themselves on a successful prosecution -- something they should absolutely do. But I went on too long, and overlooked the people whom Sandusky happened to. Which was the whole point of the indictment: There were victims.
For victims of crimes of personal violence, the case isn't over. It will never completely be over. The worst aspect of the trauma which humans inflict upon each other is that it can be triggered and relived, over and over. Events -- whether they're two months or fifty years old -- intrude into present time without warning. That re-experience affects current relationships in their lives; it can stunt a person's ability to experience a life with real safety, trust, or joy, and (particularly for abused children) not being able to shake the sense that bad things happened to them because they deserved it.
That's what Sandusky did to his victims. One way or another, to a greater or lesser degree, they will have to live with the memory of that... individual. And there isn't enough time left in his life for him to suffer as (in my opinion) he should; an effective life sentence isn't serious enough punishment, but I understand that a case where The Punishment Fits The Crime is a rare occurrence. And, that's just me talking.
Yesterday evening, Jerry Sandusky was convicted on the vast majority of 48 counts in the indictment brought against him for child molestation, sodomy, and rape.
I had a much longer version of this post up earlier; there wasn't anything in it, legally or morally, that should make me edit it, since it focused on the investigators and Center County DA's office congratulating themselves on a successful prosecution -- something they should absolutely do. But I went on too long, and overlooked the people whom Sandusky happened to. Which was the whole point of the indictment: There were victims.
For victims of crimes of personal violence, the case isn't over. It will never completely be over. The worst aspect of the trauma which humans inflict upon each other is that it can be triggered and relived, over and over. Events -- whether they're two months or fifty years old -- intrude into present time without warning. That re-experience affects current relationships in their lives; it can stunt a person's ability to experience a life with real safety, trust, or joy, and (particularly for abused children) not being able to shake the sense that bad things happened to them because they deserved it.
That's what Sandusky did to his victims. One way or another, to a greater or lesser degree, they will have to live with the memory of that... individual. And there isn't enough time left in his life for him to suffer as (in my opinion) he should; an effective life sentence isn't serious enough punishment, but I understand that a case where The Punishment Fits The Crime is a rare occurrence. And, that's just me talking.
Tuesday, June 19, 2012
Let's All Get Up And Dance To A Tune
The EU's Gonna Play All The Hits
Via TPM today:
Via TPM today:
Angela Merkel is poised to allow the eurozone’s €750bn bailout fund to buy up the bonds of crisis-hit governments in a desperate effort to drive down borrowing costs for Spain and Italy and prevent the single currency from imploding.And soothing treats for Europe's Banksters, and a partridge in a pear tree.
Germany has long opposed allowing the eurozone’s rescue fund... But Merkel has come under intense pressure as financial markets have pushed up borrowing costs for Spain to levels that many analysts see as unsustainable.
Analysts are likely to see the decision as the first step towards sharing the burden of troubled countries’ debts across the single currency’s 17 members, though it falls short of the “eurobonds” proposed by the European commission president José Manuel Barroso.
The proposal was discussed on the margins of the two-day G20 summit in Los Cabos, Mexico, which has been dominated by the depressing impact of the eurozone crisis on the world economy.
...The [British Chancellor Of The Exchequer], George Osborne, hinted at the possible deal saying the eurozone was inching towards solutions. He said: “I think there are signs that the eurozone are moving towards richer countries standing behind their banks and standing behind the weaker countries.
“There is no doubt that they [the eurozone] realise that individual measures taken in individual countries - like recapitalising Spanish banks and getting a Greek government that is in favour of staying in the euro - are not by themselves enough”
The G20 communique due to be issued later mentions “steps towards greater fiscal and economic integration that lead to sustainable borrowing costs”.
British officials are pleased that the lengthy passage on the eurozone makes specific forward-looking references to improving the functioning of financial markets and breaking the feedback loop between sovereigns and banks.
It also speaks of the need for a more integrated financial architecture encompassing banking supervision and recapitalisation and deposit insurance.
Monday, June 18, 2012
Sunday, June 17, 2012
In Motion
Laughing, Fit To Bust
The Greek drama is more critical to the West. It's a straight up-or-down vote on agreeing to accept Austerity policies which EU fiscal conservatives (and politicians like Angela Merkel, specifically) have imposed on Eurozone countries as the price for receiving billions in loans to prop up their banks and then their economies.
Merkel and other believers in a common vision of a united Europe are committed to Austerity. It's what they believe is the only method to burn away excess debt, balance the books, and come out the other side in better economic condition than any other nations on the planet. They are forced by their own beliefs to double-down; the future of their political parties are at stake, not to mention their own: Angela doesn't want to go the way of Sarkozy, and neither does her CDU Partei want to lose power to the SPD.
However, proof of Austerity's failure won't stop with Greece. Spain, Portugal and Italy are all teetering on the edge (the Spanish have just "accepted" arranging for new loans from the ECB). Each will face new rounds of bank bailouts, new loans to "calm the markets", new loans to support more bond issues. And with each new round, their governments will have to agree to more budget cuts, more control of their national economies handed over to others.
But it won't work. Five years of Austerity has not and will not produce economic growth -- jobs -- which is what's desperately needed to escape what seems fated to occur. The cycle of more loans from the ECB or the European Stability Fund can't continue indefinitely. There just isn't enough money in the world to keep pouring into the black hole of debt.
Some kind of implosion (a shrinking of the Eurozone and the political EU to a few core countries, or the complete collapse of the Euro, followed by an international restructuring of currency exchange and a run on the Markets) is the only probable result. If it isn't triggered as a result of ballot box action in Greece this weekend, it will happen later. And the only question is, How bad will it become?
In Egypt, it's an even more volatile situation. The Revolution that played out (on CNN, the BBC or Al-Jazeera for Americans) in Tarhir Square in Cairo was a mass uprising against decades of corruption and repression. All facets of Egyptian society -- liberal, secular; religious conservatives and fundamentalists -- were united for a time.
That ended when Murbarak left office. Egypt's Military Council is still a caretaker government. The Parliamentary elections from the spring were effectively nullified this past week by the country's Supreme Court, and the voting for President of Egypt this weekend is a Morton's Fork -- a Murbarak appointee on one hand, and an Islamist who is precisely what you think he is on the other.
This election is as much about divisions in the culture being played out as anything, and should the Islamist be elected then Israel has one more serious concern beyond the possibility of a nuclear Iran -- and the rest of the world will be forced to deal with a national government that accepts Al-Qaeda as legitimate spokesmen for a movement to unify the Islamic world. Nothing good will come of that.
But secular liberals feel betrayed as well. What is their choice; to vote for a representative of the deposed, despised regime? Or for someone who they feel will impose Sharia law on the country and roll back decades of democratic process?
What will happen? We'll all get to see. Welcome to living through history -- something we believed we had outdistanced. Our technology, and the belief that we had all learned from the past, that modern politicians were wise and our modern political institutions would prevent financial collapse and regional or world war.
There is no expiration date on human avarice and hubris -- which is why we're here, now -- and no known antidote, either. Shakespeare, Dante, Voltaire and Göethe must be looking down on us and laughing, fit to bust.
MEHR: The Krug Man weighs in:
SKYWALKER: Can You see what will happen to them?When in doubt, quote a hand puppet: Greece and the Egyptians have gone to the polls this week in two sets of circumstances that are pivotal for the regions involved (the Eurozone, and the Middle East), and through them the rest of the world.
YODA: Difficult to say. Always in motion is the future.
Star Wars: "Episode Five; The Empire Strikes Back" (1980)
The Greek drama is more critical to the West. It's a straight up-or-down vote on agreeing to accept Austerity policies which EU fiscal conservatives (and politicians like Angela Merkel, specifically) have imposed on Eurozone countries as the price for receiving billions in loans to prop up their banks and then their economies.
Merkel and other believers in a common vision of a united Europe are committed to Austerity. It's what they believe is the only method to burn away excess debt, balance the books, and come out the other side in better economic condition than any other nations on the planet. They are forced by their own beliefs to double-down; the future of their political parties are at stake, not to mention their own: Angela doesn't want to go the way of Sarkozy, and neither does her CDU Partei want to lose power to the SPD.
However, proof of Austerity's failure won't stop with Greece. Spain, Portugal and Italy are all teetering on the edge (the Spanish have just "accepted" arranging for new loans from the ECB). Each will face new rounds of bank bailouts, new loans to "calm the markets", new loans to support more bond issues. And with each new round, their governments will have to agree to more budget cuts, more control of their national economies handed over to others.
But it won't work. Five years of Austerity has not and will not produce economic growth -- jobs -- which is what's desperately needed to escape what seems fated to occur. The cycle of more loans from the ECB or the European Stability Fund can't continue indefinitely. There just isn't enough money in the world to keep pouring into the black hole of debt.
Some kind of implosion (a shrinking of the Eurozone and the political EU to a few core countries, or the complete collapse of the Euro, followed by an international restructuring of currency exchange and a run on the Markets) is the only probable result. If it isn't triggered as a result of ballot box action in Greece this weekend, it will happen later. And the only question is, How bad will it become?
In Egypt, it's an even more volatile situation. The Revolution that played out (on CNN, the BBC or Al-Jazeera for Americans) in Tarhir Square in Cairo was a mass uprising against decades of corruption and repression. All facets of Egyptian society -- liberal, secular; religious conservatives and fundamentalists -- were united for a time.
That ended when Murbarak left office. Egypt's Military Council is still a caretaker government. The Parliamentary elections from the spring were effectively nullified this past week by the country's Supreme Court, and the voting for President of Egypt this weekend is a Morton's Fork -- a Murbarak appointee on one hand, and an Islamist who is precisely what you think he is on the other.
This election is as much about divisions in the culture being played out as anything, and should the Islamist be elected then Israel has one more serious concern beyond the possibility of a nuclear Iran -- and the rest of the world will be forced to deal with a national government that accepts Al-Qaeda as legitimate spokesmen for a movement to unify the Islamic world. Nothing good will come of that.
But secular liberals feel betrayed as well. What is their choice; to vote for a representative of the deposed, despised regime? Or for someone who they feel will impose Sharia law on the country and roll back decades of democratic process?
What will happen? We'll all get to see. Welcome to living through history -- something we believed we had outdistanced. Our technology, and the belief that we had all learned from the past, that modern politicians were wise and our modern political institutions would prevent financial collapse and regional or world war.
There is no expiration date on human avarice and hubris -- which is why we're here, now -- and no known antidote, either. Shakespeare, Dante, Voltaire and Göethe must be looking down on us and laughing, fit to bust.
MEHR: The Krug Man weighs in:
June 17, 2012, 2:41 pmAny Questions?
And Then What?
So it appears that the governing coalition in Greece has pulled out a narrow victory — winning only a minority of votes, but getting a narrow majority in the parliament thanks to the 50-seat bonus New Democracy gets for coming in first.
So they will now have the ability to continue pursuing an unworkable policy. Yay!
Joe Wiesenthal tells us that there’s a meme in Greece to the effect that Syriza didn’t really want to win, because it would rather see the current government flail some more. Conversely, establishment types should actually be dismayed by this outcome: if current policies fail completely, which seems almost a given, and Greece exits the euro anyway, which seems highly likely, the entire Greek center will end up discredited; better, in a way, to be able to blame the radicals.
And I gather I’m not the only one thinking along these lines...
Saturday, June 16, 2012
Reprint Heaven: Bad, Hot Chicken Does Just What You Like, Baby: B&D Burger King
(This, reprinted from July, 2009: An Item Of Interest for stray readers of IBWMW, and the super-intelligent Parakeet who reads this blog and is reportedly into KFC-Style Porn.)
SUBMIT: Madison Avenue Does You Up Right, Honey
Chicken: Tasty; Breaded -- Spicy... The Kind Men Like.
I don't know what to say about this. It isn't like I haven't gone to those sites, you know, with those girls, doing a 'live show' for an unknown number of men (and women), all online at the same time and all of them doing the same thing. More or less. A large number of people have done so, internationally; whether they'll admit it is another question. But that's nobody's business...
Now, Burger King -- the people who gave you the Plastic King Who Looks Like Lil' Boots Bush, Only With A Beard, present "Chicken The Way You Want It": The Objectivization-Of-Women Chicken, porn-site parody. You navigate from BK's main website by clicking a button, labeled "Subservient Chicken".
[I'm advised that the link to the original site above is broken. It was active two months ago -- meaning that people had continued to dial in and give commands to the big chicken nearly three years after that particular advertising campaign was complete.
[The, uh, flavor of the original site (which tastes just like Chicken) has been preserved for posterity (and the super-intelligent Parakeet), by going right here. Enjoy.]
You're presented with what looks like the standard, Internet-porn 'Live-Hot-Cam-Action' setup: A cheesy living room, bad furniture, tract-home ceilings with sparkly bits in the spray-stucco... and a giant Chicken wearing a garter belt and stockings.
You type in a 'request', enter it, and the Chicken, uh... does what you want it to do. I'm all yours, baby; oh yeah... yeah... Just tell me what you want, sugar; oh, uh-huh; want me to turn around? Like this...? Oooo...
You get the drift. What this has to do with the sale of Chicken Bosom sandwiches is anyone's guess, but it's clear Burger King isn't trying to solicit Camille Paglia's business. And, there's the aspect of linking a recognizable food purveyor with the concept of live internet porn.
I mean, it's conceivable that some dimwit, who spends an inordinate amount of time and money online at Kink watching Mistress Tammy, could become confused (Burger King = Action), which unconsciously prompts an erection every time he goes into their Food Station -- presumably, to eat, which could make for some humorous moments as you're standing in line in front of him. Or, you know, not.
And, If you go to their companion parody on Star Trek, you can attend Starfleet training to prevent Klingons (the Plastic Bush-With-A-Beard Burger King) physically attacking trainees to steal their Star Trek™ collector's glasses.
I got as far as watching the Burger Klingon attempt to give an unsuspecting Starfleet cadet an Atomic Wedgie by putting his hand down the back of the dude's pants, before becoming creeped out in a way you can only describe to your therapist. If you don't have one, when you're done watching you will need to get one. Or, take a quick shower. Trust me.
I've tried to imagine the minds that would dream up this kind of stuff, and have decided it would be -- well, me, given slightly different Life Choices. My other guess is that four 22-year-old guys ("Creative Directors") thought these sites up after doing Tequila body shots off Scarlett Johannsen (hey; she's easy that way. I do that whenever I see her, along with half the guys I know), and reminiscing about how great things were at their Frat during their six years as undergraduates. Maybe seven.
Funny? Well, ha ha; yes. But, together with things like Little Bernie Madoff, it's one more proof that Western Civilization™ as we know it is over. It's Over.
No, no; don't fight it. Here comes the Apocalypse, dude. Just... just turn out the lights; we're done.
And just leave the bucket of KFC extra-crispy. Okay? Bye.
SUBMIT: Madison Avenue Does You Up Right, Honey
Chicken: Tasty; Breaded -- Spicy... The Kind Men Like.
I don't know what to say about this. It isn't like I haven't gone to those sites, you know, with those girls, doing a 'live show' for an unknown number of men (and women), all online at the same time and all of them doing the same thing. More or less. A large number of people have done so, internationally; whether they'll admit it is another question. But that's nobody's business...
Now, Burger King -- the people who gave you the Plastic King Who Looks Like Lil' Boots Bush, Only With A Beard, present "Chicken The Way You Want It": The Objectivization-Of-
[I'm advised that the link to the original site above is broken. It was active two months ago -- meaning that people had continued to dial in and give commands to the big chicken nearly three years after that particular advertising campaign was complete.
[The, uh, flavor of the original site (which tastes just like Chicken) has been preserved for posterity (and the super-intelligent Parakeet), by going right here. Enjoy.]
You're presented with what looks like the standard, Internet-porn 'Live-Hot-Cam-Action' setup: A cheesy living room, bad furniture, tract-home ceilings with sparkly bits in the spray-stucco... and a giant Chicken wearing a garter belt and stockings.
You type in a 'request', enter it, and the Chicken, uh... does what you want it to do. I'm all yours, baby; oh yeah... yeah... Just tell me what you want, sugar; oh, uh-huh; want me to turn around? Like this...? Oooo...
You get the drift. What this has to do with the sale of Chicken Bosom sandwiches is anyone's guess, but it's clear Burger King isn't trying to solicit Camille Paglia's business. And, there's the aspect of linking a recognizable food purveyor with the concept of live internet porn.
I mean, it's conceivable that some dimwit, who spends an inordinate amount of time and money online at Kink watching Mistress Tammy, could become confused (Burger King = Action), which unconsciously prompts an erection every time he goes into their Food Station -- presumably, to eat, which could make for some humorous moments as you're standing in line in front of him. Or, you know, not.
And, If you go to their companion parody on Star Trek, you can attend Starfleet training to prevent Klingons (the Plastic Bush-With-A-Beard Burger King) physically attacking trainees to steal their Star Trek™ collector's glasses.
I got as far as watching the Burger Klingon attempt to give an unsuspecting Starfleet cadet an Atomic Wedgie by putting his hand down the back of the dude's pants, before becoming creeped out in a way you can only describe to your therapist. If you don't have one, when you're done watching you will need to get one. Or, take a quick shower. Trust me.
I've tried to imagine the minds that would dream up this kind of stuff, and have decided it would be -- well, me, given slightly different Life Choices. My other guess is that four 22-year-old guys ("Creative Directors") thought these sites up after doing Tequila body shots off Scarlett Johannsen (hey; she's easy that way. I do that whenever I see her, along with half the guys I know), and reminiscing about how great things were at their Frat during their six years as undergraduates. Maybe seven.
Funny? Well, ha ha; yes. But, together with things like Little Bernie Madoff, it's one more proof that Western Civilization™ as we know it is over. It's Over.
No, no; don't fight it. Here comes the Apocalypse, dude. Just... just turn out the lights; we're done.
And just leave the bucket of KFC extra-crispy. Okay? Bye.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
