Is The Wonderful Is This Life

By I. Rabschinsky


George Bailey Guy Making The Panik

So always in the America there is at this time the fooding, and also the Sports Produkt on the television. Many people filling themselves with Holiday as if they about to be told, "Next year, you cannot eat!". I am thinking they are the hostage of their Hindbrain, which is still Neanderthal and wishes to fight with Mastodon. But, still.

And, I am noticing specific films which is only appearing on Amerikanyets television at these months between like maybe September and the time of your New Year.

My examples: At Passover, some of the television is showing The Ten Super Big Mitzvah Rules, with Charlton Heston Guy -- you know, movie where Moses stop making fooling around to pretend he is Big Guy of the Egypt, and decides to get real job saving People Of Israel.

This requires lots of people walking around, always saying "Oh, Moses, Moses, Moses" -- like, if they say this three times, they will be teleported by magik into better movie. Navarone Kind Of Big Guns, maybe, or Socialist-Colored Panther.


Place Which Is Gone Forever: Amerikanyets Driving To Movies:
"Moses, Moses, Moses -- What is happening with our Drive-Ins?"

At another time in year, they are showing same Heston Guy what is Moses in Big Mitzvah Rules in another movie, Ben Of Her. However this is basically film of Jewish guy who becomes like early Jesus guy, but by accident.

Movie is good; he is Number Forty-One guy in slave ship, rowing like animator for the Disney; there are becoming big boat battle, and he gets to be some kind of honorary Goyim. Later, there is an exciting thing with horses and carts -- but it is not the porn film, so too bad for you. Go to web sites where they have not blocked you.


Charlton Ben Heston Making The Ramming Speed, 1959

At finally, with the Christmas, every year since somebody discover the Secret Of Fire there is this broadcasting this movie, It Is Wonderful This Life, made by Frank Capra Guy in 1947, showing the kind of place which everybody wanted to believe was the Amerika. Small town, everybody knows everybody; values is good and everybody work hard and knows their places.

Just like village in the Moldova, except animals do not leave defecation in the street, everyone is speaking English, and most people have job. Plus concrete used in apartment buildings is better quality.

Every single year they are showing this film. It is now a classic also, like Wizard Of Odd and Potemkin Kind Of Battleship and Mister Hulot Goes To Beach Place. It is as big movie as The Tanks Know The Truth (Very popular Great Patriotic War movie made in the Russia. My Great-Uncle Yehudi claims he is in this film as Extra, but still we love him).


Big Scene From Tanks Knowing The Truth: Are They Knowing?
Well, They Are Tank; You Are Person. You Want To Be That Sure?

It Is Wonderful This Life story is maybe simple: Guy, George Bailey Guy, living in small town wants to die, because he thinks his life is shit. And there are the angels, who show us life of this Guy in the little town, and how he is The Good, and there is the Rich Guy who is The Bad. And George Bailey Guy never gets to do things in the Life because the Fate is not for him.

Then there is mistake with money (a problem made from the Rich Bad Guy), for which he is blamed, and he runs from family and goes to place of Publik Alkohol; finally he goes to bridge to jump in freezing water so his family will get small piece of Insurance money. Very Sad (There is also squirrel in another scene which is sad, but never mind). Also very Petit-Bourgeois.

So, Angel Guy comes to the Earth and shows this George Bailey Guy his life is maybe kind of okay, not so much the shit; and boom boom boom, problem with the money goes away in big scene at end when everyone gives him their money, and everyone sings. So happy, little bells on tree and big bells of church ring; America wins the World War Two and future is filled with television and freeway. The End.

But this is too simple, my friend. No way is actual life like this. So, maybe some of me thinks this is kind of the Propaganda about America, to keep us from seeing the Truth of the Things.

And, there is forbidden version of this film, which is other kind of the Propaganda. Please -- allow me to introduce.

---

борьбе за построение социализма во время Угнетение
(также называется "Любовь и революция" после 1991)
("Love And Revolution", Directed By Frank Kapronovich [1949]; Starring Pytor Chost, Gravnik Bolodorin, Irina Valutin. Special appearances by the Spirit Of Revolution, also Che Guevara, Samuel Beckett, and entire 12th Guards Motorized Infantry Regiment)

SO, movie opens with Guy, Georgi Edwardovich Bailey Guy, at the Bridge. He is unhappy, this Guy; boy oh boy he is like making the panic. He goes to public alkohol place and tries to think, but he only finds himself between the forces of dissent and confusion!


TROTSKYITE GUY: River not so bad, after five minutes.
EXISTENTIAL GUY: Wait, but no one comes. No one cares.

Hoo boy; Georgi is in big fix. This guy has family with SmallChilds, and tiny Policy Insuring The Life -- and he is believing everybody would be better off if he would jump and get it over with, already.


GEORGI: My life is steaming pile of animal things,
because the Rich Guy will always win. Now I am jumping.

But, Georgi is being watched at Bridge. Not by some angel Guy (none of this reliance on things which cannot be proven by good Socialist science!) -- but even better -- is Spirit Of Revolutsya!


(Spirit Of The Revolution Watches Georgi)

And, The Spirit saves Georgi! He takes him to place where they can speak of things, of the Truth -- and slowly, Georgi's eyes are opened to not only the forces of historical determinism, but the inevitability of struggle against the oppressor classes!


GEORGI: So you are saying that when the consciousness
of the People is raised sufficiently, that armed struggle
is not only necessary but inevitable?
SPIRIT: You got it, Comrade.

So, Georgi, now with eyes opened thanks to the words of the kindly Spirit, is seeing that the world is filled with inequality and criminal things so big your head feels like kicked soccer ball. It is like understanding that, not only are you living as Dog, lapping up the vomit of the Rich Guy, but you work in factory to make guns to force others to live like this (Also, the Rich Guy pays you in fake dog vomit and those X-Ray glasses which do not work).

For Georgi, this is whole bunch of dried fish to eat in one night (Like story by that Guy, Dickens Guy, Carol Burnett Christmas, or something). This is the Life? He is asking himself.


A World Of Things For Them, But Not Food For Children


Economy And Bad Fate For Peoples Means Nothing To Them


For Them, The World Is Something To Carve Up, Like Beef


While The Many People Lose Everything To The Illegal Foreclosure

So now Georgi is filled with indignant and bad feeling for The State Of These Things. He feels the pain of the oppressed, working masses, and is being filled with Revolutionary Fervor -- and he goes to talk with the People in his little village, to tell them what the Spirit had revealed to him -- and the Spirit sends along friend, Che Guevara Guy, to help.



GEORGI: We don't have to live under the heel of Potter's boot!
He's just some, bloodsucking animal! Feeding on all of us -- and I'm
tired of living on fake dog vomit! We have to run things!
CHE GUEVARA SPIRIT GUY: Ay, Yi Yi! You listen to this guy.

The People, moved by Georgi's words, march with him to the place of the Bad Rich Guy, to demand Justice, the chance to make something other than guns, and to be paid in actual money instead of rubber dog vomit and X-Ray glasses which do not work.



BAD RICH GUY: You realize that the manufacture and sale of
weapons around the globe is the backbone of our nation's industry?
GEORGI: You don't understand -- the days of taking your rubber
dog barf are over, Potter! We're going to run things!
MOB: No fake dog barf!! No fake dog barf!!


BAD RICH GUY: My family has run this town for fifty generations.
All I have to do is close the factories. How long will it be before
your little rag-tag mob starts to starve? They'll come crawling back
to work -- and for half the rubber dog barf I gave you before!

Then, Georgi takes the Big Step -- the one which all oppressed people are taking in these movies when faced with Oppressors who pay them with rubber dog vomit: He crosses line from intellectualizing his oppression to active revolutionary.

Otherwise, we would have no resolution of all this rising action; and only ending for this film possible is that everyone would go for Pizza. This is unsatisfying from view of the Socialist imperative.


GEORGI: You're wrong, Potter -- you, and people of your
class are finished. Now you're going to face Justice for your
crimes -- because the People own the means of production!

And so The Bad Rich Guy is taken away by the People; his house later becomes hospital, day-care center, and place where revolutionary theater troupes practice before going into the streets.



And, of course, there is a proper celebration at the Georgi Bailey house, with the Revolutsia Spirit and the SmallChilds.


GEORGI: Gosh, Spirit, I don't know how we can thank you.
SMALLCHILD 01: Spirit, can't you stay and have some Fair
Trade™ coffee with homemade whiskey with us?
SPIRIT: No, SmallChild; I must go. There are so many oppressed
peoples in a world beset by unspeakable monsters of Capital.
But I will take a shot of that whiskey -- neat, please.

Finally, after long discussion between Rich Bad Guy and the Organs Of State Security, he faces Revolutionary Justice and the verdict of The People.


RICH BAD GUY: Long live International Capitalism!
PEOPLE'S MILITIA LEADER: Fire!

And, of course, Georgi and his lovely wife are pausing in their labor to build a New Socialist Future to share a moment's reflection on the plight of The Peoples, and also to suggest some hygienic sexual activity between them which may occur later.



...and in the background, The Internationale swells on the soundtrack, sung by the Sad Vlad Orphans Choir Of Greater Moscow! Please to show the credits!

This film has not been shown since its original release; big shame, also, because it is at least as good as movie with Bert Landcaster in it but of the name, just now, is escaping me.

Great-Uncle Yehudi likes Revolutionary Love. He thinks it is wonderful comedy, but still we love him. If you can find this film on DVD, then okay. If not, well then it is big world out there! Be That Guy -- go find!

I, Rabschinsky, say this -- to Moldavish Guy; you also.

---

Желая Каждый Хорошее Ханука

A Note Being Brief By I. Rabschinski

So, it is time for the first night of the Hanukkah, where we are celebrating lights and days of gifts for SmallChild 01 and SmallChild 02 (also being children which are mine), and for Spouse, who plots to kill the Dog who makes this blog -- though we are trying to talk her out of this extreme of position, usually with distractions ("Hey! Spouse -- Be looking up there!"), and chocolate -- but, the Good from the Switzerland, not krumbly Amerikanyets шоколад which tastes like animal has wiped its back part across your shagging carpet, and then you must lick it.

Hey; you notice how Cyrillic for 'chocolate' -- шоколад -- looks little like "Wonka", maybe? Is deep with the irony, yes? No? Oh, Пожалуйста - получите жизни.

We also enjoy to make the celebration with my Great-Uncle Yehudi, who was wounded in the fight in Great Patriotic War, where he had to have his sense of humor amputated.

This is the actual okay, however: We got him another one many years ago (they are like big grafting of the skin), and so he can watch now the reruns of The Mister Ed and make laughing.

Speaking for myself strictly, a television programme with talking horse ("Oh; Vilbur! Do Not Be Touching Me There!") is like something made by demons. Or Polish people. But, as Uncle Yehudi reminds us, he make the fighting at Kursk and Berlin and we did not ("I did not see you there!") -- so that he could watch 'The Mister Ed' and 'Leaving All To The Beaver' and 'My Three Suns', which Yehudi tells me is science-fiction show. Why he like them, I have not a guess. But still we love him.

So, to all the Mankind, we are wishing is Goot season, Nize season for you and your own SmallChilds, and pets, and the home appliances also. Treat them well -- they watch you when you are not looking and really holding the grudge. So says Uncle Yehudi, and as war hero we must listen to him.

This is same reason why John McCain is, I think, occasionally the popular guy.

I, Rabschinski, say this -- to Moldavish Guy; you also.

---

Salon's Top 10 Internet-Fueled Conspiracy Theories

You Like The Konspiratoria? We Make For You.

By I. Rabschinski

Hokay; Listen what I am telling you: Salon, magazine for Internet I am looking at, has posted article they are calling 'Top Ten Internet-Fueled Conspiracies'.

You should also be paying money to these people. They do The Good. But it is like some much else in The Life: You have the money, you have nice little hot towels with dinner and the better waitress. For Salon, you pay the special membership and you do not see all the Advertising.

I have boil on bottom of foot about advertising on Internet. It is like someone talk behind you at the movies! You want to make empty the container of popcorn, roll cardboard box in tube, and shove tube in place that makes total jerkhead idiot behind you speak language which is not the Human. But, you do this and the Polizia will ask you give them your belt and shoelaces. But.

What the Salon says is Internet was The Good for the Konspiratoria -- you have crazy idea? Good for you. Put on Internet! Proof, you don't need. They are also saying that big-time Konspiratu gets to live again on Internet and never die. Like my Uncle Yehudi, who likes you to hit him with heavy book until he does not stand up. But still we love him.

Well; I am thinking, I have my own idea of The Big Konspiratu, and also thinking I would tell you, maybe, because this is new week to make working, and is mid-cykle election thing ho boy I don't care, and second decade of new Century, and time to wash clothing also. What else we going to do? Win Lotto? Work with actual adult thinking guy? Believe me; this is not your fate in the life.

So, listen up, Bubchick: here is being The Big Konspiratoriskaya. All for you. Read; you will learn things. Or, maybe not learning; I don't care.

---

Big Konspiratoriskaya Theory Nr. 1:
Assassination Of The JFK, November 22, 1963


John F. Kennedy, Tells Assassins: Shoot, And You Get Bush Guy
(Original Photo: Reuters)

This is big, big, big Konspiratorskaya. This is like Juice Glass Of The Jesus Guy for the people looking in the Konspiracy, you know?

Basically, everybody knows of this unless they are dead or from the Uzbekistan (Also couple guys from the Moldova who live down street to me, but to be fair I am thinking they might know): Amerikanyets Guy, President Kennedy Guy -- Goot Guy; Nize Guy -- is travelling to the Dallas of Texas and boom boom boom, is dead Guy.

Look, Amerikan people: No way this is happening without lots of people being guilty also. Lots and lots. You are thinking Amerika is this new place, where everything different and is not like the old Europe with powerful Guys who kill the king when they don't like. Amerika is The Good; and everybody gets to drive the Buik, and be eating chicken head on the cob and the Pone of Corn, and be in the Beaver House with the Wally and Wife of the Cleaver and live forever.

Sorry my friend, but No Way is like this. You have been wearing the mustard stain from big non-Kosher hot dog your whole life, and now, rest of the Planet tells you Wake up, idiot! Be Guy -- Don't Be That Guy!. Oh, and there is also no Tooth Fairy or Golem. But I tell you, Amerika is place where they can shoot you if They don't like, even if you are President Guy, and only with big Konspiratu can this happen. More than one guy be killing JFK, you bet.

Everybody on entire planet (except for people I mention) knows big Konspiratu happened to kill this Guy -- but if you are admitting this, and saying Yes! Big Amerikanyets CIA Guys and Big Money Rich People says this guy is dead, so he is. What happens in Amerika? You think Stock Market goes up, maybe? Not even, buddih! People would know U.S.A. history even before 1963 is big sack of bad corn flakes everybody has been forced to eat.

They would feel lied to, like someone is Cheating them for fifty years -- kill President Guy and get away with it. And maybe people decide, then, is time for the Revolutsyia and everything is big mess for like years. Believing me, we know about this.

However, there are people who have made up the Konspiratu of their own about this, understand? They have President Kennedy Guy being killed by the space alien, by the Elvis; or Gremlin From The Kremlin But Coming From The Cuba. The Internets make it possible you can read any of these, but don't waste time -- I can show you who is second gun guy from Grassy Hill Place. Look:


Total Honest Untouching The Photo Of Grassy Hill Place
Immediately After Boom Boom In The Dallas, Texas, 1963

See? Now there is whole new Konspiracy, with JFK Guy killed by fake advertising food selling Guy. And that is how Internets work.

---

Big Konspiratoriskaya Theory Nr. 2:
Amerikanyets Guys Go To Place Of Moon, July, 1969


So You Want To Go To Moon, Or Maybe Warehouse In The Ohio --
Neil Armstrong Guy And Actual Flag He Takes To Moon
(Original Photo: NASA)

This Konspiratu is like piece of truth, and big crap taken by donkey; understand what I am saying?

So, like in summertime these Amerikanyets Astronaut Guys get in big tube, and are travelling to actual Moon. When they are going there, they land and shake the hand and maybe sleep, maybe go to bathroom and read the newspaper. Then, two of Astronaut Guy get out, and are stepping down to Moon, while third Guy stays in the tube with microphone turned off so entire planet does not hear him crying like small girl.

So the first Guy walking on actual Moon, Astronaut Neil Armstrong Guy ("This is being little walk for human, and big marathon type thing for everybody; okay"), is also member of the Masonic Guys, being this secret club -- like having subscription to magazine of the special porno, or having the black Amerikanyets Express card and sitting in The Good Chairs at airport. And, this Neil Armstrong brings with him to Moon a flag of these Masonic Guys, and he puts it up on Moon also. Then, he folds up and brings back for his pals, who make big dinner and give him the secret head-rub.

Where is problem? So, he takes flag with big chicken; Mason Guys so happy. So what? Well, Mason Guys are big Konspirator, secret guys who are Kombinator, you know? Guys who have the control of world from the Secret Places. So Neil Armstrong is making the secret claim of Moon for Masonic Guys.

There is also another Konspiratu from before, which is saying Astronaut Guys never go to real actual Moon, that whole thing is put-on, Hollywood Avatar James Cameron kind of thing made in same airport hangar where they keep animal balloon from Macy parade. And -- like always, these people -- they gots plenty of the proof.

Gottenu; Please. I need bucket for the vomiting. These people need to make the life, go on date with girl, or worry about The Global Heating. Even my uncle Yehudi understands that if there is big Konspiratskaya, is not guys with secret head-rub.

---

Big Konspiratoriskaya Theory Nr. 3:
Good-By Super Big 9-11 Buildings In The New York


Wave To Mama: Fake Foto Of The 9-11, All Over Internets

Okay. This is simple, and all people not part of the Al-Kada know this: September the 11, 2001, HAL9000 computer did not go Ape and try to ruin Jupiter mission to meet the big black box that United Nations building came in. Instead bunch of Very Bad Guys who are hating most of Earth get planes and run them into World Trade Center Place. Both places fall down, big big big mess.

Oh, and Small Boots Guy, Bush President, suddenly is big leader with large penis, and soon will invade the Iraq and hoo boy, next thing you know, we are living in Sick Animal Dizneyland with the Sarah Palin and more than 9% unemployment, and Obama President Guy looks like he has Made Sex With The Dog. Or, Screwed Pooch, maybe.

Sadly, that is not the Konspiratu. People on Internets (and that is where this big story is different from other Konspiracy) say that whole thing is fake; World Trade Buildings are wired up with bombs to make collapsing; people on planes were taken to the secret place and nobody has died. And they have all kinds of the video and photos to prove. Lots and lots. However, this proves very little to families of all the people who jumped out of big 9-11 buildings.

Problem -- these Konspiracy people have not gone to bathroom since 2003, and so cannot make clear thinking.

---

Big Konspiratoriskaya Theory Nr. 4:
Current President Guy Is Really Secret Muslim Foreign Guy


(Photo: Productshopnyc)

Hoo Boy: Obama, President Guy Of U.S., is really born in Africa, and there is big covering up of this fact.

So he is an illegal President Guy, and so people playing with teabags and guys who like the gunz can make war on this illegal government Presidental Guy.

My only big surprise is that these people with the gun and playing with their bags are not also somehow claiming also is Konspiratu made by the Jews. But, I am sure, they will be doing this sooner or later. Always, they do.

Please, bring bucket again.

---

Big Konspiratoriskaya Theory Nr. 5:
Big Queen Family Of The Britain Is Murdering Tall Blonde Girl


French Friends Letting Other French Friends Drive Drunk

This one? Simple. Royal Kind Of The England People, like the Tsar before Soviet Guys shot him and threw him into mine shaft (weird, because they are related to Tsar), did not like the Princess Diana, mother of boy who will maybe be King of the England, to be having the bouncy sex with Egyptian Dodi Guy. So, they chase car with her inside and force to crash; boom boom, no more Diana.

Ahh; I have pain in my personal ass with this: Driver of car, French Guy, had sucked up enough alkohol to knock out half of Red Army Chorus and Band (and that is big doing, Buddih, let me tell you). I mean, look: There is all kinds video this French driver Guy doing like Tequila shooters or something before he goes to make driving.

He was driving because he was stupid asshole driver of stupid rich Guy, and crashed because he was drunk like three guys. Simple, but sad also.

But sometime you know, simple is what you get. Not big Konspiacy.

---

Big Konspiratoriskaya Theory Nr. 6:
Gremlins From Da Kremlin



You know, everybody wants the Aliens. If aliens bring spaceship to some place, and say, 'We must talk to President Guy' -- well, how can life be always the same afterwards? Maybe we get nicer with each other and do not make the Bullshit so often. We ask them nice, "Mister Alien Guy, could you maybe to help us save the Planet from the Global Heating?" And they will say, 'Yes Earth people; we have always like your television'.

Probably, saucers will fly from my butt before that will happen. More, I think, maybe we just try and kill Aliens because they are not like us -- only after we take from them the Tekno things they have, so we can build death ray to kill all the Enemy, or something. You know how the Earth people are.

But, everybody is agreeing: Aliens have come to this place, and They are like meeting in secret and planning to enslave world -- and there is actual Guy in the England who says all world leaders are really seven-foot-tall Reptilian Alien Guys (Sad Vlad The Putin is Reptile? Yes; this I can believe. Angela Merkle? Viktor Sarkozy Guy? Ha ha ha ha; no way, buddih). They give us little bit of the Tekno stuff, and we give them planet -- and they have known all of this since the Roswell.

This is the other Jesus Juice Glass for the Konspiratskaya: In some time the 1947, New Mexico place in U.S.A., alien flying saucer is crashing on land of some ranch Guy near little town of Roswell. There is Air Force of the U.S.A. base not far away, and they come to look. And they take pieces of spaceship -- one Air Force Guy takes them to his house, and his son remembers things about them. Air Force Guys even tell local reporting newspaper Guy from the Roswell about "Flying Saucer" crashing.

Also, there were the dead aliens. Maybe one, maybe three; also story that another one is still alive when they find. But they are what everybody like to call now The Greys -- little grey bodies with big head and big black eyes like Trick Owl From The Bad Film.

This is kind of like any of the Konspiracy -- you want, you don't want. Depends on how bad you wish to believe about aliens.

I ask my uncle Yehudi about Aliens. You think? I ask him. He says, "It explains why the civilization of Humans has become bad after canceling television show, 'The Mister Ed'" But wait -- this happens forty years ago, I tell him. "Exactly!" he says.


Wilbur Channels The Bob Newheart: Uncle Yehudi Likes
(Photo: The Weekly Telegraph Online)

And -- the U.S. of A. Air Force waits thirty kind of years to release report which says, Hey, this was only big weather balloon (funny; this is exactly what they say in the 1947) -- but was part of secret project to do something to Soviet people. I am thinking this smells like bad food or good cheese. Whole thing, all this Tsursis, for weather ballooning? For Cold War Good Red Is Dead Red kind of time?

Maybe. Me, I'm still kind of wondering so much. One thing I tell you: Those lights that make funny kind of hovering flying around, where people can see? Coming from the Area 51? The Tekno in those flying kind of things comes from the someplace. I am thinking not Odessa.

---

Big Konspiratoriskaya Theory Nr. 7:
We Gots Lot Of Oil -- AHH! No, We Don't


The Peak Oil: Walking Is Good For You
(Photo: The Big Picture, 2008)

There is theory, saying that oil -- made from retired dinosaurs who gave their lives for world auto industry -- is going away. You know that place, when you drink the really good milkshake, like Malted (Oh, the creamy; so good. You want one. Go, now); and there is this moment when you realize more than half this Malted is gone?

And you can imagine what it will be like when you have sucked up all this Malted and there is no more? And all The Good, the creamy, is just memory? So it gets hard to enjoy last half of Malted when you realize it cannot be Malted Milk forever?

This is what is the Peak Oil. Is truth? Is made-up story by Big Oil Companies? What; you think I am knowing this? Eat your lunch and shut up.

---

Big Konspiratoriskaya Theory Nr. 8:
You Make Money From This Jesus Guy? Goot Boy; Nize Boy


Code Brown! (Photo: Reuters / Alessia Pierdomenico via Salon)

This one is good one, the Konspiratu, because it makes the Konspiracy inside other Konspiracy. You cannot prove one without prove the other. Tricky!

Okay; Long time ago, in the galaxy far, far in some other plaze, there was this Jesus Guy. Not The Messiah, but probably way up there. And as the usual, add bunch of arabs, and Romans, plus the Politik (always, the f______ politik), and boom boom boom, Jesus Guy gets crucified. Or maybe not. And he maybe had girlfriend who had been the Big-Time Ho. Or maybe not. And she is being pregnant, and goes on big boat to South of France (very Nize For Her, the vacation), where is born Son Of The Jesus™.

(I am waiting for movie version: Son Of The Jesus: Part III -- The Revenge. Better than "Despicable Me!" I would bet.)

So, this is big-time secret. If true, then whole christian religion thing starts to look like just Business thing cooked up to make the power and little German guys get to wear the special white Yarmulke of the Pope Guy. More bad bags of the corn flakes we are forced to eat, I am thinking.

So couple British Guy write book in 1980's about this big secret -- later, other people show is put-on, but for a while, these Guys make the money. Then comes this Dan Brown Guy, who writes like the smell from tail of Donkey, this other book, The DaVinci Code, which is like the big-seller and makes him richer than J.K. Rowling, even. Then there is movie with the Tom Hanks, who has lost hair and makes the fat now.

Only Konspiratu here is the one made by the Dan Brown and people who print his books -- is conspiracy to take your money, give you handfull of crap; joke is on you, Clown-Boy. Dan Brown Guy gets lots of money, and in ten years his books is taking up space in the landfill in Singapore.

---

The rest of the Konspiratskaya I will be adding shortly.

I, Rabschinski, say this -- to Moldavish Guy; you also.

---

Not Even 'Clash Of The Titians' Sucks Like This Badness

Если ты настолько глуп, чтобы тратить 880 R. рублей на DVD этого фильма собака, все молдавский народ жалко вас.

By I. Rabschinski


Milla Jovovich Concentrates On Her American Accent

Hokay. I am liking the Film. Is being a really good invention of the technology for over hundred years now. But sometimes there comes a movie so bad, like sick from the bad food, that I want to vomit in bucket. I will maybe vomit without bucket -- and I think in particular for this piece of diseased pig foot, I will make cream corn on your personal shoes, Okay?

This is The Fourth Kind, starring a woman who fifteen years ago was fashion model who never ate much food, and could only speak the Ukraine, and that not so good. But, they put her in this movie Fifth Kind Of Element with the Bruce Willis, and boom boom, she is big star and slinking around lots of modeling and advertisement. So nice for her.


You Buy Makeup From This Woman? She Looks Like Idiot.

Now, she is thirty-five and gets enough to eat, so no more can she make with the slinky photo shoots and little dresses. Now, she had better be film star for real -- and to do this, she has to speak the Amerikanyets like she comes from the Ohio and not like Kiev.

And, she has done this! Hoo Boy; is miracle! No, I am not kidding you. She sounds exactly like American -- only every little while, she has this slight little thing that happens.

I have pain in my butt to tell you -- but Milla cannot make like the modulation of her voice. No like going up; then like going down. She speaks in weird kind of low monotone: What-do-you-think-this-means-I'm not-sure-don't-put-your coffee-on-table-without-coaster-make-sure-the-Alien-has-some-too-thank-you.

Otherwise, she could like be from L.A. Not that sounding like American is great achievement, you understand what I am saying? (Oh yes you do too.) I am not certain why Slavic peoples seem to do this. Only Romanians and a couple guys I know from TransNestor speak English in some other way. And also myself, of course.


Milla: Just Another The Regular Kind Of Amerikanyets Girl

So: This sucking bad movie is fake inside another fake also. It is rubber chicken head inside of the bread made from cardboard. Ptuh!

Premise for this movie is that a real Doktor, psychological doktor kind of girl, experienced all kind of things with Aliens from the outer space in this Nome Alaska place, which used to be Russian. The movie is supposed to be about real people in the Alaska, and they make movie, supposed to showing Truth about all this -- with girl from Kiev who does such good fake American playing the Doktor.

And she is talking all these people in the Nome, who cannot sleep, because they see this Owl looking at them. Only, is not an owl -- and we know all this before the movie starts, even.


Supporting Cast Wears Funny Caps, Like Guys Wanting Work
In The Downtown Budapest -- Which Is Funny, Because Movie
Scenes In The Alaska Was Shot In Yugoslavia, Okay?

The film Guy is splitting the screen, or cutting away, to show interviews with this "real Doktor lady", Abigail Tyler (What fake name! I guarantee nobody named Abigail in all of America since there was the Tsar). Then, we see Milla saying exactly the same thing. So we think one is real, the other a movie. But the whole thing is being fake. In fact, supposed-to-be-real Amerikan Doktor girl is British actress named Charlotte Milchard.

Не мочиться на мою голову резиновой курицей и скажите мне, я могу арендовать большой автомобиль от вас, Okay?


This Is Whole Thing! This Is Much Of Bad Alien You Will See --
And Is Not Even Alien! Is Only An Owl!

Then her patients are not only not sleeping, they are running crazy with the gunz and shooting wife and kids and dog (well, not dog, because they have no dog), because of this Owl. And they do this with front lawn full of police cars with lots of flashing lights (such bullshit).

And this Owl is all over the place. Tricky Owl, who will always keep weird face to the camera as it moves around him. So effect is creepy -- and that is only special effect this movie has! You never get to see Aliens, and that is rip-off, big time.


Look! Even The Zoidberg, Actual Alien, Thinks Film Is Crap!

The rest of the movie is Milla, and fake interview with awful-looking fake-real Doktor lady Abigail every two minutes. Also people speaking the Sumerian (and with really bad aksent, I have to be telling you), which means something but nobody says what.

I go to University Of Bulgar to learn that film is "suspension of the not believing" -- but this piece of crap the film makes my Uncle Yehudi, who is famous for being funny in his head, look like Most Sane Guy In World.

Also there is the actor Guy, Will Wheaton Guy (Remembering Shock To The System? Armageddon? Or maybe The Postman? Will is the Good, but stuck in big Dog Of Film). And also some children put there to make you feel sorry for them to be in such bad film. There is also no dog, which bothers me.

At least kids got paid. If you are seeing this movie, you will see big Owl face with creepy eyes -- but all you will want to do is stab your own with fork or pencil.

Do not see!

I, Rabschinski, say this -- to Moldavish Guy; you also.

---

They Hate Me, They Really Hate Me

Принуждение людей есть куриное главы, хотят ли они этого или нет.

Whoops! Now they don't like me at work so much anymore.

Well -- that's life in corporate America. May possibly mean no promotions, either.

What did I do, exactly? As best I can determine it, I simply got out of bed and showed up. Often, in life, that's all it takes.

For Moldavish Guy:

Этот проект идиотов. Помните, я говорил, чтобы держать вас ", политика, политика"? Эти люди из продавцов в канаве, и я ненавижу этих людей. Я не хочу быть принтер парень больше, но не может выйти, потому что я иду вместе с нашим начальником. Не повезло так уж плохо. (вздыхает) Я хотел поднять настроение, я мог бы Тайгер Вудс.

Yeah.

---

Я имею в виду Глубокая мысль, но хотите мою курицу главы

Have The Sexual Relations With The Politik, Okay?
By I. Rabschinski


Politik = Dog + Additional Dog + Pony

Okay, so I am think like the deep though (as Big Curmudgeon Blogging Guy says) now, and it is like this place I am coming to -- and I can say very simply what in this pace there is. So I say, Ебать политика, meaning make the nasty with the politik, okay.

I am sick with the politik -- mostly, from the Right politik, but also everybody the politik. The news people all liking the circus; understand? These people are not going to be telling you truth -- only what is the shiny object, okay? They only show people what are shouting loud and don't show the people who think and then speak quiet. Only the circus is the good, for these idiot.

And the teevee and the newspapers and blog owned by that old Глупый лягушка who only wants power and to have the Right politik kissing his ass... Hoo Boy; all he gives people is cartoon and Big Lies and some fat guy who cries. And he calling his thing "News"!



So I am telling the Dog what is making this Blog (Is nize Dog, Good Dog, who is talking also) to forget the politik and go sniff some Nize girl dog's behind, or take walk on beach, or eat nize biscut and stop all the angry, sad thing from the politik. Okay?

I, Rabschinski, say this -- to Moldavish Guy; you also.

---

Вы, американцы, займет много Для выдаваемых

This Police Guy; He Is Looking Like Putin, Yes?

You американцы; I am thinking you are having these really strange notions from where the justice is. For all kinds people, the justice is like not being beaten by police because they have not received what, they are thinking, is proper respect from you. Or because you are not making payment of the money enough. Or because they are bored. In places like this, the justice is, like not being screwed, today.

Really -- no matter how much in America the badness you are believing: Here, you are having it way the good.

I, Rabschinski, say this -- to Moldavish Guy; you also.

Our National Discourse, Too

Quote Of Day

I love the politik. Making me want to make the vomit, and not stop, you know?


"Peter; Peter-- hold my ears."

I, Rabschinski, say this -- to Moldavish Guy; you also.

Не дайте меня головной цыпленка и сказать его идет дождь.

Clinton, and Daughter Of Big Gangster In Bed Clothes.
(Photo: From Website Big Uzbecks' Daughter. No Link!)

(This is for Leo [aka Moldavish Guy], my камрад at Place Of The Witless Labor, and is best to enjoy when reading with good but still fake Russian aksent in head -- and, no; is not to be sounding like Boris Badenov, bubchick; and is no way sounding like Sascha Cohen Borat. Be getting real, okay now? Okay.)

Do Not Give Me Head Of Chicken And Say It Rains
by I. Rabschinski

So, I am reading the Harper's online; and hoo boy, I am telling you what a idiot head, what stupid guy this President, the former America President Clinton, is doing in foto with this awful person from Transcaucasian place, the daughter of the Uzbeck president guy.

People not liking him are saying these are like, big criminals. They say President of Uzbekistan is is pretty big criminal guy -- and they also saying this daughter is having her own kind of criminal thing happening. They say not like she is innocent girl wearing little pajama dress. Not even! But, don't believing me -- America's own Radio Liberty has thing to say:

[She] is loathed by many in her home country. There are many rumors about her alleged cruelty toward business rivals, her luxurious lifestyle, and her lucrative business empire. Amid the poverty of ordinary people, these stories rub many Uzbeks the wrong way.

They are saying this is like being the George and Jenna Bush of the Transcaucasus. This is not like, they make bad choice of the furniture, or tell the sex joke at dinner with Sad Vlad and Little Dimitri. No way. It is meaning loot and steal the really big money; like whole country of Uzbekistan is private ATM, you know? And they are making the life really difficult for anyone who says, "Hey! You are bad guy!"


I Have Pain In Head, Seeing These Guys. (White House Photo)

But, America has to be like, "Yes, Mister Gangster guy, we are liking you and wish to have the base for the airplanes in Uzbekistan to fight the bad Taliban guys, and we will of course to pay you lots of cash U.S. dollars." Do they care if people are saying this is guy who would sell mother to Turkish peoples for special car seats which are being heated? Not even, buddyh!

I love the politik. Making me want to make the vomit, and not stop, you know? I, Rabschinski, say this.

And I am not hearing it if you are saying, 'Well, the Clinton did not know this person'. Phtui! That is really crap, you know? As title to this posting says, "Do Not Hand Me Head Of Chicken And Say It Is Raining". The wife is the Hillary, Secretary of The State; understand what I tell you? You think she will not be knowing from Transcaucasian Princess type gangster, maybe? She is making the really bad face now, I bet. Here is what the guy, Ken Silverstein guy from Harper's, says:

The picture turns out to have been taken at an AIDS fundraiser held last May at the Cannes Film Festival. There are also pictures [on website of big criminal daughter] at the same event with Kanye West and Steven Seagal. Those two may or may not know who she is, but Clinton surely does.

Hokay. Not bright moment for Clinton, former President guy. Maybe he only wanted stand next to girl in bed clothes. And, I looked at article in this Harper's place because they have title, "Clinton Boner Photo" -- so, not like I didn't have funny thoughts about what I would see there, okay?


(Cartoon: By Mr. Fish - Harper's online)

Clinton had lots of jokes made with him because of fat girl in White House. Is not like he didn't do the something, okay? Still -- President formerly of U.S. with bad girl in picture is not good.

I, Rabschinski, say this -- to Moldavish Guy; you also.