Friday, November 12, 2010

Glenn Beck Fornicates Goats


Goat-Fucking Scumbag Liar; In My View One Notch Above
A Child Molester, Preaches To America?


Little Glenn Beck, nine years old, is an ultimately stupid man -- and, much like Sarah Palin, only interested in riding the wave of garbage that is the Right in America because there's money in it for them.

Just as an example, it was announced this past week that Little Sarah, Plain 'n Tall, will soon have a nature program broadcast (unbelievably) on The Learning Channel: Sarah Palin's Alaska, where she will slip her political message into scenes of Alaska's scenic beauty. And there will be shots of her doing mom stuff at home with her hubby, Megalon, and son, Yogg-Sogoth. And, yes; TLC will allow her to put in little tidbits of her political philosophy!

For all of these antics she will, of course, be paid. Senator Snowe of Maine dryly observed earlier this week that Palin seemed less interested in politics, or running for President in 2012, than in making as much money from her notoriety as possible.

American history has been full of hucksters selling something to the public, claiming to be sincere in whatever they're peddling, but truly are only in it for celebrity and attention, for power over other people, and whatever money they can get their hands on. They're opportunistic, cynical, liars for profit.

Human beings hunger for Hope, for Truth, and for Peace. The Hucksters promise those things by claiming they can be found only if an enemy weren't preventing all of us from enjoying that wonderful future the Hucksters can create. And, that enemy will have to be conquered, dominated, and in some cases, destroyed, before the wonderful new world can be made.

The Hucksters pander to the worst of human emotions because manipulating fear and anger are simpler, a more direct route to their real goals. It's much harder work to convince people to treat each other well, that justice does not come from aggression or the barrel of a gun, but in empathetic responses to the experience of others.


Fr. Charles Coughlin; Drawing By Ben Shahn (1940)

But that's not the real goal of the Hucksters, and America's social and political landscape is littered with them: Father Charles Coughlin; the founders and leaders of the 'Liberty League' in the mid 1930's; 'Tail Gunner' Joseph McCarthy; George Lincoln Rockwell; The Robertsons and Fallwells and Dobsons; the Werner Erhardts and Ma Sheelas and Satguru franchises; the Fat Karls and Lard Boys and Little Mikey Wieners. At the very far end of that same scale you end up with a Jim Jones, or James Koresh, or white power militias dreaming of a great cleansing.

You end up with mass suicides; you end up with the Oklahoma City bombing. You end up with a culture desensitized to what was once considered socially-unacceptable expressions of violent, fringe opinion and behavior.


Copy Of Letter From President Harry S. Truman To Senator Joseph
McCarthy, 1947 (U.S. National Archives; Harry S. Truman Library)

Little Glenn Beck is part of a unique set of individuals who have risen along with the consolidation of radio, cable and teevee media at the turn of the new century -- little demagogues, who have become known only through the backing of cynical media oligarchs, themselves deeply conservative, with immense technical and financial resources.

Fox broadcasting pushes lies, twenty-four hours a day. An analysis of its reported "news" and opinions masquerading as 'fact' supports that, and the common understanding on the street is that "Fair and Balanced" has always been a lie and that Little Rupert's media empire is just a shill for the Right.

Briefly put, Beck's drivel increases Fox's market share by catering to viewers that are both Rightists and evangelical christians. It makes money for News Corp., and increases the personal wealth and power of Little Rupert Murdoch, five years old (I've talked about this before).


Little Glenn Beck, World's Smartest Human, Tells Us About
The Threat Of Jewish Domination Financier George Soros

This past week, Beck went from spewing alleged Xtian-fueled idiocy to anti-semitism. In a series of three programs, Beck attacked George Soros, a financial investor, the world's 35th richest person (per Forbes magazine, which cares about these things), philanthropist for a multitude of progressive causes , and is also Jewish and a Holocaust survivor.

Glenny doesn't like Soros' politics. He hates all Liberals, but particularly those with money. But rather than criticize Soros for his financial theories and political positions, Beck went after him... for being Jewish. And this isn't the first time he's done something like this.

Soros was thirteen in 1944. Though the Hungarian government had restricted the social and economic activities of Jews, it had resisted the kind of extreme treatment of Jews demanded by the nazis. Fed up with what they saw as intransigence and being played with, the SS sent the commander of its 'Race and Resettlement' section, Adolf Eichmann, to Hungary with orders to liquidate the Jewish population.

Beginning in the spring of 1944, deportations of nearly 400,000 people began from the Budapest Ghetto directly to Auschwitz; it was at this same time that Swedish diplomat Raoul Wallenberg intervened personally with Eichmann to save approximately 20,000 persons from deportation (Eichmann, tracked down after the war by Israeli intelligence, was hanged in Jerusalem; Wallenberg, arrested in 1945 by the Soviets for no other reason than that they wanted to, died in the Gulag).


People In The Budapest Ghetto Being Marched To Train Station
By The SS; Summer, 1944; Watched By Happy, Smiling Hungarians
(Photo: Unbelievably, From Budapest Vacation Service)

Soros was employed as a runner for Budapest's Jewish Council, which had been established during the Nazi occupation of Hungary to carry out Nazi and Hungarian government anti-Jewish measures. Soros later described in an interview that
The Jewish Council asked the little kids to hand out the deportation notices. I was told to go to the Jewish Council. And there I was given these small slips of paper...[which] said, 'Report to the Rabbinical seminary at 9:00 AM'.... And I was given this list of names. I took this piece of paper to my father. He instantly recognized it. This was a list of Hungarian Jewish lawyers. He said, "You deliver the slips of paper and tell the people that if they report they will be deported."

Soros escaped being sent to Auschwitz when a Christian, an employee of the Hungarian Ministry of Agriculture, took him into his home and claimed Soros was his godson. In 1945, still in hiding, 15-year-old Soros survived the Battle of Budapest, in which Soviet and German forces fought house-to-house through the city (remember the film, "The Piano Player"?).

However, as reported by the New York Times, in his Fox program this past Tuesday (and watched by approximately 2.8 million people, according to Fox), Beck characterized Soros' experience as
During the Holocaust, the 14-year-old Mr. Soros used to go around with this anti-Semite and deliver papers to the Jews and confiscate their property and then ship them off.

This is a direct quote. Beck is saying that Soros personally confiscated the property of people selected to be deported to a death camp, and was personally responsible for "then ship[ping] them off."

It's very clear he is referring to Soros, not someone else, not some other power or authority. He doesn't say, 'Soros delivered orders to the Jews, whose belongings were later confiscated by the nazis when they reported for deportation'.

After implying Soros was complicit in assisting nazis in murdering the Jews of Budapest, Beck uses a well-worn rhetorical trick to say that others might criticize Soros -- but not Little Glenn; oh, no. He makes no judgments. He even invokes -- well, someone's god -- to help distance himself from the accusations he's just made.
I am certainly not saying that George Soros enjoyed that, even had a choice. I mean, he’s 14 years old. He was surviving. So I’m not making a judgment. That’s between him and God.... Many people would call Mr. Soros an anti-Semite, though I will not.

Knowing he would be criticized, yesterday Beck defended his comments by adding that he is "probably more supportive of Israel and the Jews than George Soros is".
I think the most popular is going to be - if I had to guess, their attack is going to be that I'm anti-Semite, which does not even make any sense. First of all, no one is a bigger defender of Jews and Israel than me. Name them on television.

I'll tell you what - George, you and I will walk down the streets of Israel together. Let's go to Jerusalem - you and me. Let's see which one of us is more popular.

Beck knew precisely what he was saying, and whom he was saying it to. His defense of his repulsive commentary is that anti-semitism and support of Israel are mutually exclusive: Hey; I love Israel; how could I be an anti-semite? Just because I said George Soros, survivor of the Holocaust, was helping the nazis kill his own and picked up a little contraband in the process?


Obligatory Photo Of Boy And Kleine Ente In Middle Of Blog Rant

There is a sad link between the most vocal, powerful American media conservatives and evangelicals, and organizations like the Jewish Anti-Defamation League. The basis for it is (no matter how you feel about the actions of the Israeli government), without American support the nation of Israel would likely be wiped off the map by an Arab coalition (not like they haven't tried, already), and a large part of the Jews of the Middle east slaughtered. I wish it weren't true (its led to some horrific excesses on the part of some Israeli governments), but I happen to agree with that assessment.

So, even if someone like Beck, or Rush Limbaugh, makes a blatantly anti-semitic remark, the ADL is likely not to do more than say they were ill-considered.

(And, and I hate being a Dog with a nose this good, Abraham Foxman, head of the ADL, today said that Beck's support for Israel is recognized and appreciated, but that "some" of his comments were "insensitive".)

Watching Beck's three-day broadcast, his message was that evil, Liberal Soros (a Jew; hey! In case no one noticed!) was The Puppetmaster, attempting to destabilize the American economy. Beck even laid out a five-point plan he claims the man is following (which sounded like it was lifted from The Protocols Of The Elders Of Zion to me), because he's a financial entrepreneur and trader, believes in a one-world government just like that guy who thinks he's President.

I kept waiting for the part where he talked about Soros' horns, and how he ritually drinks the blood of Xtian babies, then trying to destroy a great Xtian nation like America with socialism and banning of non-Kosher foods and polluting our gene pool by having sex with 'White girls'.

It couldn't be clearer. And the number of people who routinely accept the 'Jewish Conspiracy Runs The World' meme -- people who are part of the 2.8 million watching his show -- is absolutely chilling.

(I remember being told by a manager of mine, casually at work, that there was a conspiracy of Jews to 'run things'. Even better was the girl I once dated -- an incredibly beautiful blonde; some of the best sex I've ever had -- who, as we walked down a crowded street, said apropos of nothing, "Well, you know my dad says,'Hitler didn't finish the job'." I stopped in shock while she walked on, evaded her in the crowd, went home, and never returned her telephone calls).

Fox (aber natürlich) absolutely stood by Little Glenn's remarks. Joel Cheatwood, a senior vice president at Fox 'News', said "The information regarding Mr. Soros’s experiences growing up were taken directly from his writings and from interviews given by him to the media, and no negative opinion was offered as to his actions as a child.” More lies, more half-truths.

Let me be clear:  Glen Beck -- Fuck You. You are a despicable, goat-fucking liar. You are congenitally incapable of telling the truth. You make a portion of your income ($30 Million, last year) from an organization run by a man who, I have to assume, agrees with Beck, too. Which makes Little Rupert a liar, an anti-Semite, and a useless, gutless scumbag, whose grandfather (a journalist, and a real man) would have been deeply ashamed of his grandson's pride at lying to make a profit. Beck should be fired, and Little Rupert should be diagnosed, finally, with Alzheimer's.

This is what the 'Culture War' the Right started has come to. It reminds me of a quote from Robert F. Kennedy about Lyndon Johnson, which I'll adjust slightly here: They Lie. They lie all the time. They lie when they don't even have to lie.

I'm disgusted with what my country has become.


Tuesday, November 2, 2010

SILVIO! Berlusconi El Testa Di Cazzo Di Tutta l'Europa


Hey! You Pull My Finger, Eh? I Just-A Picked My Nose!

EPISODE MCMXXXVIX: Wherein Silvio Berlusconi, Primo Pene Oligarchio L'Italia and acknowledged from among all of Europe's leaders to be 'thinking with the tiny head' (not that this could be said of Angela Merkel!), has -- well, done it again. And again.

When we last left the hapless Oligarch, he had been rumored to be screwing escorting the 18-year-old daughter of a political contributor; to have hired bevies of prostitutes to attend private orgies parties at a villa Silvio! owns on the island of Sardinia (this resulted in one of them writing a tell-all autobiographico) -- yes, and there was a divorce action; accusations of money laundering for the Mafia (gasp!); even an attack by a force of nature as a huge cathedral smote the evildoer for his multitudinous sins (Shock! tableau!).


Silvio! Livin' Large In Sardinia (Photo: AP)

Ha Ha Ha! That Silvio! Now, he has used his position as El Papa Pene to obtain the release of Karima Keyek, a 17-year-old Morroccan girl from a jail in Milan, where she had been held after an arrest for theft. According to the UK Telegraph, 'Ruby' Karima said through her attorney that she had "attended dinners at Mr Berlusconi's private villa outside Milan, where she allegedly witnessed group sex games which the prime minister and his entourage nicknamed 'bunga-bunga' parties."


Kind Hearts And Coronets And Other Things Blown: Keyek, 17,
Heartthrob To The Oligarch (Photo: UK Telegraph)

Keyek had run away from her Moroccan parents, who live in Sicily, several years ago (when she was, what: Thirteen? Fourteen?) and had earned a living as a belly dancer and waitress and model and occasionally supplying sex for money as she tried to break into Italian television. Berlusconi, who dumped his first wife to marry a 24-year-old cabaret singer, has shown a penchant for bouncy-bouncy with showgirls.

Almost unbelievably, Berlusconi confirmed the claim that his office had obtained Karima's release. "I'm a kind-hearted person," He was quoted as saying. "I like to give help to people who are in need of it.. There was just a call made to find someone to take custody of a person that we all felt sorry for because she had told everyone a dramatic story that we gave credit to."

Or, maybe to keep a witness to the Bunga Bunga quiet? Karima did say that the 74-year-old Leader Of All Italy had promised her a Maserati.

However, no one should be surprised that Berlusconi admitted using his position as head of government to spring some bint outta gaol ensure the release of an underage girl who may or may not have had sex with him and his wealthy pals. Silvio has a history of bizarre and inflammatory remarks.

But, Ho Ho; BUNGA! Ha ha ha! That's our Silvio!

Salon reported today via Associated Press that Berlusconi's top adviser has hinted that, "after months of political crisis and personal scandal", the time for Silvio's government's may soon be up. Silvio! has insisted his coalition government would serve until its term expired in 2013. However, over this past weekend, Berlusconi's estranged one-time political ally, Gianfranco Fini, formally called on him to resign for the good of the country.


I Pick-a My Nose; Now I'm Gonna Flick It At You

"Fellow cabinet ministers insisted", AP reported, "that Gianni Letta, Berlusconi's right-hand man, was only joking Wednesday when he said the government's prospects 'seem in these hours to be narrowing not to years but to shorter periods and timeframes.' "


It's In The Numbers, Not The Stars, Damn It

The fault lies not in the stars, but in ourselves.
-- Shakespear

Analyst John W. Palmer offers this infoporn big chart which compares and contrasts politics and the economy (click on image to make it much bigger):


( © John W. Palmer 2010; .pdf version here is much clearer )

It shows you pretty much what you should expect: In times of Republican rule, the economy suffers (Note: The proof is in the time lag -- when a Rethug President takes office, the unemployment numbers go up, and other economic indicators go haywire, about two years after they take office).

Don't like what the numbers say? Awwwwwwwwww. Tough. Don't vote for people who play Slash 'n Burn with life because they're too stupid and greedy to do much else.


Mortgage Your Children's Future -- Literally!

The sad thing, of course, is that I know people who would do this at the drop of a hat. They don't like their children very much, you see.

Happy Midterm Election Day, America. You were a nice place, once.


(Graphic: This Modern World © 2010)


Monday, November 1, 2010

Watching The Storm Front


Victorious, The Nation's Right Sits Down On With America
(Graphic: Mr Fish)

There are real disasters occurring in the world, right now -- notably, a volcano in Indonesia; a Tsunami in Indonesia; Cholera in Haiti; massacres in Iraq / Africa / A Wal-Mart Near You.

However, I'm predicting that after tomorrow the final chapter of the United States as we used to know it will begin. As Little Rupert's Fox likes to chitter, endlessly, tomorrow is predicted to be a 'victory' for the Republicans, Conservatives, Tea-Party "Morans", and White Power aficionados across the land. And, it will probably come to pass.

They are supposed to "Take Back" the House Of Representatives, and (possibly) the U.S. Senate, and return America to... something. Whatever it is, it will be unpleasant.

Just like the period from 2001 - 2009. But, so few people remember what that was like; and it was all so long ago. Right?

I predict that, within no less than five and not more than ten years, the United States will be a nation even more skewed towards those who already have wealth; are male and caucasian; are not immigrants or persons of color; and are not members of any Union.

In fact, the Rethugs have made it clear that unions -- of nurses, teachers; anyone who stands in the way of Business increasing its profits, are their special targets.

It will be, even more, a country where the Supreme Court finds that corporations are so people, too and can effectively buy elections, like the Koch brothers... like any respectable Banana Republic's upper classes. Or, a country where the Law simply bends over for money, even more than it does today.

Thanks to people like the O'Donnels, the Bachmans, the Rand Pauls and Tommy Tancredos, politics will become more and more an absurd sideshow -- Little Rupert's Fox will tell you, Who cares about politics? All politicians are corrupt; you can't fight city hall... Go to sleep, now...Go to sleep...

It will be a nation which continues to try and convince its citizens through illusion and images (commercials; Hollywood) that we are so awesome and prosperous; that we're the center of the world. That we have the highest standard of living and the finest of everything, where you can rise as high as your dreams and energy and faith will take you -- so you can enjoy exclusive cable access to sports, fast food, and Gossip Girl.

Lard Boy -- the "intellectual engine" of conservatism -- will vomit out the message of victory and revenge from his radio pulpit; Billy-O will dispense sage advice to token liberals (Shut up! Shut up! Shut up!), and Fat Karl will be paid large sums of money to make speeches at secret conclaves of the rich and powerful.

And Little Glenn Beck will cry, and cry, to see the beauty of his visions for a more godly, "better" America -- one where a socialist illegitimate anti-colonial Negro could never become leader and sit in the same rooms Saint Ronnie once graced with his senility.

For the jus'-plain-folks on the Right, what will follow after tomorrow will be packaged and sold as a resurgence of True American sentiment, a rebirth of Basic Values. A wonderland, and a Golden Time.

Meanwhile, the majority of people who live in America will be unemployed, underemployed, or working harder and longer for less money. There will be more rounds of mergers and selloffs, layoffs, and boom-and-bust. The majority of the people who live in America will become more cynical, less trusting, and angrier -- all while a small minority continues to grow wealthier and control more of politics, of law, and commerce.

America will become a... more 'godly' nation, in the way that the Sarah Palins, Mike Huckabees, Pat Robertsons and Smilin' Ralph Reeds practice their beliefs: That is to say, through intolerance, bigotry, avarice; the grasping for secular power as a means to force others to believe as they do; for discrimination masquerading as professions of faith. Eventually, the notions and whims of these people will find their way into law.

If you believe in equal pay for equal work; if you're LGBT, or practice an unspecified but foreign religion, or believe in a woman's right to choose -- well, don't expect the State to help you. Look instead for it to punish you.

There may even be another war -- just as Little Davey Broder, four years old, suggested in some screed he published yesterday; saying that war would bring more prosperity. We already have two wars, and nearly five thousand military dead of our own, not to mention hundreds of thousands of 'others'. And both wars were gifts from Lil' Boots and his handlers. Won't a third one be fun? Look out, Teheran!

Anyway; To Rightist, Tea Party America: You believe you're about to see the dawn of a wondrous, new time. Enjoy it -- Eat Your Pie. You Eat Every Bite.

You're about to get screwed, right along with the rest of us -- only, you claim it will be proof of love. We know what's coming is nothing but rape. The future of this country is about to belong to people you wouldn't leave your children with, alone, for five minutes.


(Graphic: Mr Fish)

For me, No Parasan.


Tuesday, October 19, 2010

Just Because, That's Why


14th Dalai Lama (Photo: Reuters / UK Telegraph, 2009)

I once had the opportunity to see and hear the 14th Dalai Lama at Davies Symphony Hall in the Summer of 2003 at a talk he gave to support the restoration and understanding of sacred Buddhist architecture.

The woman I was dating at the time had hired a Tibetan woman to provide child care while the mom worked as a Therapist -- the husband of the Tibetan woman had been a Buddhist monk in Nepal, and had worked directly with the Lama, and was able to wrangle seats for us at his appearance.

The Lama spoke primarily in Tibetan, using an interpreter, but when the mood struck him would break into English. In one of those moments, discussing the reactions of humans to life in These Times, the Lama said

Modern life -- everywhere, people moving, running; always running. And everything is so fast. Always fast, fast fast. And so we experience this, every day; and finally it becomes so much that you just have to say -- 'Fuck it!'

There was a moment of utter silence. You could have heard angels farting. And suddenly the entire audience, over 2,700 people (myself included), erupted in applause. It was incredible.

People were cheering, not just because one of the great spiritual leaders of this or any other century 'said a bad word', but because for an instant, by juxtaposing the idea of The Holy Man with A Profane Exclamation, the Lama brought his listeners to a state of attention (Hey! Dude! The Lama just said 'fuck', man!).

A true Human Being. I'm glad I was there.


Saturday, October 16, 2010

Trick Or Traif



Okay. I admit -- humbly -- that I missed the Memo, or the Tweet, or the 800 number flashed subliminaly between frames of Inside Hollywood, or that part in the bible, where we were told it was okay to offer pork 'treats' to children at Halloween.

At Salon (a site I support with money), I found an article by their Cooking Guru, Francis Lam, with a recipe for "Candied Bacon To Get You Ready For Halloween".


Obligatory Small Animal Photograph In Middle Of Bacon Rant
(Courtesy Of Shilling For Bilderberg)

The idea is simple: You cook bacon and then melt sugar onto it, which cools into a sweet, brittle shell... Cooking bacon relatively slowly renders away much of the fat but keeps the meat pliable until you actually candy it, and sugar does crazy things when it gets hot... once sugar hits 310 degrees Fahrenheit, it cools into glass. How will you know when it's gotten that hot? Well, at about 340 it starts to turn to caramel, so once its color becomes golden and then brown, it'll be fine.

As a cooking Dog, I think Francis Lam's writing about cooking is fun, and the recipes he passes along are great. You can read the article here -- but I take handing out candied bacon at Halloween as another sign of the coming of 2012 and the final days of the human race.


Translation Of Mayan Pictographs At Great Temple Of Lompoc


All Twitter. Bad. Bad And Bad For You. And You Know You Want It. You Want It -- Bad.

A Horror Which Has No End

I'm reposting this because the site it refers to is still operating -- which is barely comprehensible. However, it's also funny, and I'm desperate for a laugh. Maybe you are, too. Enjoy.

UPDATE: I'm actually beginning to monitor the stats of this Blog, and am trying a little experiment: 'All Twitter' has been added to the title of this post, and we'll watch the hijinks and merry mix-ups or whatever happens from here. Just so you know.





Chicken: Tasty; Breaded -- Spicy... The Kind Men Like.

I don't know what to say about this. Really. It isn't like I haven't gone to those sites, you know. Just about everyone has; whether they'll admit it is another question.

Now, Burger King -- the people who gave you the Plastic King Who Looks Like Lil' Boots Bush, Only With A Beard, present the "Chicken The Way You Want It", Objectivization-Of-Women Chicken, porn-site parody. You navigate from BK's main website by clicking a button, labeled "Subservient Chicken".

You're presented with what looks like the standard, Internet-porn 'Live-Hot-Cam-Action' setup: A cheesy living room, bad furniture, tract-home ceilings with sparkly bits in the spray-stucco... and a giant Chicken wearing a garter belt and stockings.

You type in a 'request', enter it, and the Chicken, uh... does what you want it to do. I'm all yours, baby; oh yeah... Just tell me what you want, sugar; oh, uh-huh; like this...?

You get the drift. What this has to do with the sale of Chicken Bosom sandwiches is anyone's guess, but it's clear Burger King isn't trying to solicit Camille Paglia's business.

And, If you go to their companion parody on Star Trek, you can attend Starfleet training to prevent Klingons (the Plastic Bush-With-A-Beard Burger King) physically attacking trainees to steal their Star Trek™ collector's glasses. I got as far as watching the Burger Klingon, attempting to give an unsuspecting Starfleet cadet an Atomic Wedgie by putting his hand down the back of the dude's pants, before becoming creeped out in a way I can only describe to my therapist, once I get one.

I've tried to imagine the mind that would dream up this kind of stuff, and have decided it would be -- well, me, given slightly different Life Choices. My other guess is that four, 22-year-old guys ("Creative Directors") thought these sites up after doing Tequila body shots off Scarlett Johannsen (hey; she's easy that way. I do that whenever I see her, along with half the guys I know), reminiscing about how great things were at their Frat during their, um, six years as undergraduates. Maybe seven.

Funny? Well, ha ha; yes. But, together with things like Little Bernie Madoff, it's one more proof that Western Civilization™ as we know it is over. It's Over.

No, no; don't fight it -- just... just turn out the lights, man; we're done. And just leave the bucket of KFC extra-crispy. Okay? Bye.


Life On Earth Too


Torben NOW: Thought We Were Kidding About This, Did You?

We're inaugurating a new category here at Before Nine, entitled Stuff Not Launched with Voyager 1.

You may recall (or not) that when the Pioneer and Voyager series of spacecraft were sent out to observe various planets in our Solar System (which isn't "ours", by the way), it was understood that they would eventually sail into deep space and just keep going until captured by Lrr of Omicron Persei 8, or something.

People at the Jet Propulsion Laboratory in Pasadena, California, though it might be nice to include a message to potential extraterrestrial civilizations which might encounter a Probe -- kind of an advertisement: A "Hello, We are Friendly And Can Be Contacted And Are Possibly Good To Enslave Or Eat" kind of thing.


Pioneer 10 Plaque: Religious Conservatives Criticized NASA
As The Images Showed Human Genitalia (Photo: Wikipedia)

The tenth Pioneer probe, launched on March 2, 1972, carried a plaque designed by Carl Sagan and Frank Drake, picturing male and female humans and other graphic indications of who we are and how to find us (I've seen Alien and Starship Troopers and District 9 and the old "V" series, and presume time will tell as to how smart Frank and Carl actually were).

Five years later, the Voyager 1 probe was launched -- this time, Drake and Sagan had included an even more ambitious addition: A gold-plated disc (Stereo LP technology, because 1977 was a pre-iPod era, my friends) which contained recordings of music, spoken words and songs, and the a message of greetings, spoken in each language of the people of the Earth.


The Voyager 1 Golden Disc (Photo: The World Almanac)

Unfortunately, the voice chosen to speak the English greeting was Kurt Waldheim, the Austrian then-UN Secretary General, and unindicted war criminal, though whether aliens will eventually appreciate the irony of this fact is uncertain.

There were also pictures of people smiling and beaches and puppies and flowers and colorful things. Pictograph instructions on how to access the images and the sound recordings were engraved on the face of the disc.

What wasn't included are things like this, or like this, or even things like this, which aliens will have to learn about on their own when they finally get here -- which also assumes we will still be here when they do, and the percentage chances that we will not appears to rise every day.

But, until then, let's all enjoy our Shiny New Blog Category.


Benoît Mandelbrot, 1924 - 2010


Mandelbrot: Mathematician, Teacher, Mensch
(Photo from a University Of Umeå, Sweden, website
[Whose owner enjoys photographing the famous while
holding a large, stuffed Peeps], 2006. Go figure.)

Benoît Mandelbrot, the mathematician who coined the term “fractal” for mathematical shapes whose uneven contours could mimic irregularities found in nature, died today in Cambridge, Massachusetts at age 85.

Benoît B. Mandelbrot (oddly, the middle initial was something he adopted; he had no middle name, and the 'B' doesn't stand for anything known publicly) was born on November 20, 1924, to a Lithuanian Jewish family in Warsaw. In 1936, his family emigrated to France, living first in Paris and then fleeing to the south after the German invasion in 1940. Unoccupied Vichy was a bit slower (but not by much) to follow the anti-Jewish ordinances of the occupied north; as a teenager, Mandelbrot tended horses and fixed tools.

The Germans moved to occupy the south of France after the American invasion of North Africa in the winter of 1942. It's not known how he and his family survived in the south until the Allied invasions in the summer of 1944; luckily, they did.


Fractals Exist In Nature, And Our Mimicking It: Book Of Kells

In an obituary by Jascha Hoffmann of the New York Times, " 'Applied mathematics had been concentrating for a century on phenomena which were smooth, but many things were not like that: the more you blew them up with a microscope the more complexity you found,' said David Mumford, a professor of mathematics at Brown University. '[Mandelbrot] was one of the primary people who realized these were legitimate objects of study.'


Fractals: Not Just For Acid Trips Any More

"In a seminal book, The Fractal Geometry of Nature, published in 1982, Dr. Mandelbrot defended mathematical objects that he said others had dismissed as 'monstrous' and 'pathological.' Using fractal geometry, he argued, the complex outlines of clouds and coastlines, once considered unmeasurable, could now 'be approached in rigorous and vigorous quantitative fashion.' "

Use of fractals is now common in too many branches of study to count, and its practical effect on engineering and manufacturing processes, on understanding the world we live in, has been immense.

Mandelbrot was known as a polymath, a lecturer and teacher for whom every conversation or class was an opportunity to "talk about something different", with an infectious sense of humor; broadly human, passionate about his work (which expanded the frontiers of human knowledge), and willing to allow himself to be photographed while holding a ridiculous stuffed duck.

Another Mensch leaves us. I'm only a Dog, but I have a good enough nose to understand that the supply of Mensches in this world is limited.