Sunday, January 23, 2011

Whatever It Was, It's Just Fun Now

Random Barking

Someone -- an author's character in one of their novels, I think (and probably Robert Anton Wilson's) -- observed that human affairs are either explained as "conspiracy, or fuck-up".

With all that's been going on in This Great Land Of Ours™ for perhaps the past quarter-century, it would seem there's been an all-out attempt by a wealthy core of people to simply grab whatever they can, as much as they can, and right now. As if the top were about to blow off the circus tent at any moment.

The number of fish or bird deaths with no discernible cause does seem to have just increased for no reason. Did you know some two million dead fish had recently washed up on the shores of Chesapeake Bay? Me neither. Oh, and Kieth Olbermann parted ways with a Soon-To-Be-Comcast-Property cable channel.


(Graphic: UK Daily Mail, January 2011 -- Click To Enlarge Fun!)

From a certain point of view, it does feel a little like the orgy at Pompeii the night before All The Fun Started (© Mt. Vesuvius, 79 AD). Depending upon what you believe to be possible, a scenario where Those Who Have are saved, while Those Who Don't Shall Lose (Caution: Don't believe everything you see on the Intertubes).

I'm not suggesting that's plausible, but I've barked about this before: What do they know that we don't? Or, is it just a predictable response to the result of thousands of years of human nature?

Conspiracy? Or Fuck-up? You choose.

Bark Bark. Bark Bark Bark Bark.

Thursday, January 20, 2011

Nielsen Neener Neener Neener


The Nielsen Comapny's Online And Teevee Mediaverse, 2011
(Click For Bigger Graphic -- Easy ! Fun!)

If you're a Dog of a certain age (referred to as Useless Boomers by dogs of another age and breed), you'll remember when the name of the Nielsen Company popped into the national consciousness. References to the Nielsens weren't about some fictional teevee family like the Cleavers, or the Pietries.

In the early 1950's, Nielsen (a business that gathered data about customer likes, dislikes, and habits, and selling the data to advertising firms to shape ad campaigns and develop markets) merged with a competitor and expanded its services into the newest media market: Television.

The idea was to choose "average" teevee viewers across the country, based on demographics, asking them to record their viewing habits and choices in a booklet, along with brief comments, and mail them in to the Nielsen Company every week.

Being chosen as a "Nielsen Family" was a bit of a cachet, once upon a time -- it was some official seal of approval that you were considered 'normal', a regular American demographic unit, at a time when general conformity and regular behavior was being sold to the country along with tires, Chevrolets, gasoline, corn flakes and Alka-Seltzer.

Nielsen has been at it ever since. The gingnormous graphic above shows current data involving teevee viewing versus online media: More chartporn for you.


Wednesday, January 19, 2011

Bzzzzzzzz!

Where Have All The Flowers Gone

Daily Infographic is a terrific site; if you don't know it, you should. It's a treat for someone like me, who enjoys seeing the graphic representation of information. They try, daily, to present something worth knowing about, in a format worth looking at.

For some people, Powerpoint and Excel are the heights of presenting data to an audience. Infographic shows that there are many ways to put skin on a set of numbers to provide a new perspective, a wider appreciation of how important (or, not) the data you're looking at may be.



Unfortunately, their graphic today is about bees. Or, more precisely, their vanishing due to Colony Collapse Disorder (CCD), an apian disease we still haven't been able to isolate, or find a cure for.

No bees, no pollination. No pollination, and a variety of plants which depend on bees to complete a cycle of producing fruit and vegetables simply ends. Crops decline; prices for certain good skyrocket (I'll bet Goldman-Sachs is just waiting for that); people go hungry. So far, even with a terrific effort on the part of scientists and entomologists world-wide, they have no idea what causes CCD or how to treat and prevent it.

And pollination by hand has been proven far less effective than a pollen delivery system developed through millions of years of Evolution. It's a labor-intensive process, too: Who, in These Modern Times, will you hire to do it? what will you pay them? Will they have health care and 401(k)s, or will they be undocumented and exploited workers picked up on a streetcorner from Mexico and Central America?

Science is not the panacea we were taught as children in the 50's and 60's: We can send men into space! We got rid of Polio and Smallpox! Science will solve all our problems!

However, Science wasn't pure. It always seemed (to me, anyway) connected to particularly corporate notions of that Future Life we were all being promised was just over the hill -- the world as pictured in the GE Carousel Of Progress at Disneyland.

And, Progress invariably meant Bringing The American Way Of Life to people in Darkest Otheristan, before the Commies showed up and started talking about communal farming and the Dialectic Of Struggle™. And Progress often has to be protected by advanced weaponry and military advisers, and Coca-Cola.

Anyway, the data about CCD is there, and it's not pretty. The presentation is, though -- and to see it at a large enough size to be readable, go here.


© Daily Infographics 2010 (Click For Really Big Graphic! It's Fun!)


Tuesday, January 18, 2011

The Vocabulary Of Dog

Dog Is Listening


The Classic: Gary Larson's The Far Side, 1980's

Interesting Dog Category: The always indefatigably charming New York Times online reports that 82-year-old Dr. John W. Pilley, a retired psychologist and university professor in South Carolina, had read a report in Science magazine about Rico, a Border Collie whose German owners had taught him to recognize 200 items, mostly toys and balls.

Dr. Pilley decided to repeat the experiment with his own adopted Border Collie, named Chaser, and recently published his findings in the current issue of the journal Behavioural Processes.


Chaser And Dr. Pilley (Photo: HWT Image Library)

He bought Chaser as a puppy in 2004 from a local breeder (the Times reported), and started to train her for four to five hours a day. He would show her an object, say its name up to 40 times, then hide it and ask her to find it, while repeating the name all the time. She was taught one or two new names a day, with monthly revisions and reinforcement for any names she had forgotten.

One of the goals was to see if he could teach Chaser a larger vocabulary than the 200 words Rico had acquired. But that vocabulary is based on physical objects that must be given a name the dog can recognize.


Who Has The Larger Vocabulary Here? It's A Tossup.

Pilley said that most border collies, with special training, could reach Chaser's level of comprehension. When Chaser’s dog breeder was told of the experiment, he expressed no surprise about the dog’s ability, "just that I had had the patience to teach her,” Dr. Pilley said.

"Chaser proved to be a diligent student," sadi the Times. Unlike human children, she seems to love her drills and tests and is always asking for more. 'She still demands four to five hours a day,' Dr. Pilley said. 'I’m 82, and I have to go to bed to get away from her.'


Chaser, With Dr. Pilley (At Rear On Right)

Anyone who's spent time around a Border Collie will know their almost inexhaustible capacity to, you know -- do stuff. All the time. Personally, I consider that breed obsessive-compulsive show-offs, but what do I know.

Anyway: We're Listening. Wonder why we don't do more than Bark? When humans say anything that actually makes sense, we'll reply; we just haven't heard it yet.


Monday, January 10, 2011

Self-Knowledge: Stuff About Us

As an infoporn Geek, I solemnly believe the New York Times online edition has some of the most dependable, coolest graphic displays of information on the Intertubes. They pioneered the use of, and have published a huge number of Basic Interactive Maps to present statistical information -- mostly, relating to life in These United States.


NYT, 12/14/10: Map Of American Counties And Median Income

And, they simply have a consistent, recognizable style in the design of their graphic presentations: You can look at one and (without viewing the banner at the top of the page) generally recognize it as being created by the KoolKidz at the NYT.


(NYT, 12/1/10; Click To Enlarge. It's Easy And Fun!)

Below is a graphic from Jennifer Daniel (part of a larger story on the Statistical Abstract Of The United States, the annual report of the U.S. Census Bureau), showing "America By The Numbers".

You'll learn a great deal about yourself. And, you'll have something to talk about when Life hands you an awkward pause in conversation. Tell people on the bus that we drink much more wine and eat less vegetables; or mention to your significant other that only 5.6% of the continental U.S. is considered 'developed land'!

It'll help in boosting your self-confidence, and in forgetting the really awkward fact that we know absolutely nothing about the nature of Reality, what we're doing here, or why anything is. At all. Enjoy:


(NYT, 1/7/11. Click For Larger Graphic; More Fun For YOU!)


Sunday, January 9, 2011

Future Crazy Rising

The Echo Chamber Rules


"We will forcefully resist people imposing their will on us":
Person Carrying Assault Rifle At Event In Phoenix, Arizona,
Where President Obama Touted Health Care Reform, 2009

David Kurtz writes at TPM that for newly-elected members of the House of Representatives, "their first week on the job will forever be marked by the attack on Gabrielle Giffords (D-AZ)". That another line had been crossed with that event, and how the new House reacts to it is anyone's guess.

"Beginning in August 2009 [Kurtz writes], when the tea party movement began disrupting congressional town halls in districts across the country", Democrats experienced a sudden, in-your-face attack by people with no anger management skills and every intent to intimidate the Democratic politician being 'targeted'.

I remember news coverage of various Democratic Senators and Representatives, in video clips showing them standing, trying to talk reasonably with people who had been sent to Town Hall meetings to be angry -- to "shout out", disrupt and dominate, any of the Democrat's Town Halls with the Righteous Anger of True American Patriots: the so-called tea party movement.

It was to provide a focus for Nightly News video, which everyone knows follows the loudest noise or shiniest object. Television news viewers across America and the world saw clips of angry people, shouting at a Democratic politician (on some occasions, even inches away from their face, as happened to Senator Arlen Specter), publicly accusing them of being a "Socialist" with "Washington's Socialist Agenda" for "Socialist Health Care".


'Rocking The Town Hall', 2009; Shown By Fox As Just "Concerned
Americans", Only Exercising Their First Amendment Freedoms

Spread out in the hall... towards the front, stated an organizing memo, "Rocking The Town Hall", written by one of the 'founders' of the Tea Party movement, Bob MacGuffie. The objective is to put the rep on the defensive with your questions and follow-up... The The rep should be made to feel that a majority... [of the] audience opposes the socialist agenda of Washington... The goal is to rattle him, move him off his prepared goal and statements... stand up and shout out... Look for opportunities...

This wasn't about promoting actual discussion of an important issue at the community level. It was a beer-hall tactic, to derail discussion and provide images to be spun over and over on television. It was to give an impression that a majority of people in America were angry over a "Socialist" Health Care reform plan. It was about silencing, not promoting, constructive debate.


(Right Principles PAC memo by Bob MacGuffie, a founder of the Tea
Party Nation, June 2009. Photo/Text: HistoryCommons.org)

Most people sighed, watching such clips (rebroadcast over, and over on CNN and the Little Rupert channel, which was exactly what the Rightist PACs wanted), and shrugged... it's all getting so crazy; but, what're ya gonna do....

At that same time in 2009, the number of violent threats against Democratic House members rose sharply. "Despite Republican claims that Democrats were milking the threats and exaggerating them for political gain," Kurtz writes, "the threats were deeply troubling to Democrats privately. They were forced to rethink holding town halls and to recalibrate the risks associated with being a public official."

Unlike the House leadership, regular Members do not receive security details -- and from that perspective, Democratic Representatives were shaken by the tea party crazies. They saw Rising Crazy on the Right as leading to some kind of an incident, where they were were targets vulnerable to physical harm.

"But things had calmed down for the most part since the passage of health care in the first part of 2010. As the ...midterm campaigns heated up, the political tenor grew sharply more volatile again," Kurtz wrote.


Little Sarah, Plain And Tall, With A Treasured Friend

During the Health Care Reform debate in 2010, if an attack on a Democratic House member had occurred, Kurtz stated, "or [in] the run up to the elections, no one would have been shocked. But [after the midterm election] the heat of the moment seemed to have dissipated."

Kurtz noted that the kind of community meeting which Representative Giffords held yesterday in Tuscon is the "bread and butter" of a Member of the House when they are away from Washington. It's considered essential, a duty of elected office. However, the entire House of Representatives (including the 94 newly-elected Members) now knows from their first week on the job that unless they pay for their own security, they are vulnerable to The Crazy.That in the future, any one of them, or their staff, could be a target.

No one knows whether what happened in Tuscon will make Representatives without security less likely to meet, up close and personal, with their constituents in future -- and whether that makes the political process more, not less, centered on the insular little riverside village where America concentrates its politics.



Jared Lee Loughner, the 22-year-old gunman apprehended at the Tuscon shooting yesterday (indicted on charges of assault, murder, and attempted nurder today), is already being described in the Rightist blogosphere as a Leftist crazy -- primarily because the Tea Party wants to put as much distance between themselves and Loughner as possible.

Republican Senator Lamar Alexander of Tennessee made an unsolicited comment to the press today, saying, "What we know about [Loughner] is that he was reading Karl Marx, and reading Hitler, and burning the American flag. That's not the profile of a typical tea party member if that's the inference that's being made."

(It's a theme on the Right, by the way, that Hitler was a leftist -- that 'Mein Kampf' was a 'Socialist' tract, and that the National Socialist German Workers' Party was a leftist movement. It's true; they really want to believe that.)


Obligatory Cute Small Animal Photo In Middle Of Blog Rant

With all this a prologue, my prediction is, after some kind of interval (not necessarily decent) following yesterday's shooting of Gabrielle Giffords, that there will suddenly be a rise in announcements by Republican House Members -- all talking about threats against themselves and their families... from Leftist crazies.

It'll be the same type of claim the Right has made, falsely, for two decades: That the mainstream media is owned and dominated by liberals and the Left.

As if to prove that old claim a lie, Little Rupert's Fox will pick up this talk of New Threat From The Left, and broadcast it; spin, and repeat... Broadcast; spin, and repeat. Broadcast; spin, and repeat; the claim that the Right is more threatened by the possibility of an armed Left. And, it'll be picked up by Lard Boy, Bill-O, Drudge, Little Glen Beck, and the rest of the Echo Chamber: Broadcast; spin, and repeat. Broadcast; spin, and repeat.

By the Autumn of this year, Gabrielle Giffords will have become the new Rethug poster child for fears of violence -- from the Left, when none exists. It will be just another step in the Echo Chambers' process of demonizing anything Liberal or Progressive, confusing public understanding of the realities we're facing, and further polarizing American society when we can least afford it.

But as I've said, Little Rupert and the rest of the Echo Chamber could care less for all the harm they're doing by fabricating and escalating conflict and division. It's all about money and profit, for them; nothing more.

So; what're ya gonna do. Sometimes I think that as Americans, we deserve everything we're all going to end up getting. Collectively, we're that stupid.

But, I'm only a Dog, and no one listens to me.


Saturday, January 8, 2011

Crazy

New York Times January 8, 2011, By MARC LACEY and DAVID M. HERSZENHORN

TUCSONRepresentative Gabrielle Giffords, an Arizona Democrat, and 18 other people were shot just north of Tucson on Saturday morning when a gunman opened fire outside a supermarket where Ms. Giffords was meeting with constituents for a “Congress on Your Corner” event.

Ms. Giffords, 40, was described as being in very critical condition at the University Medical Center in Tucson, where she was operated on by a team of neurosurgeons. Dr. Peter Rhee, medical director of the hospital’s trauma and critical care unit, said that she had been shot once in the head, “through and through,” with the bullet going through her brain.

“I can tell you at this time, I am very optimistic about her recovery,” Dr. Rhee said in a news conference. “We cannot tell what kind of recovery but I’m as optimistic as it can get in this kind of situation.”


Truly shocking; a tragedy; a nine-year-old girl and a Federal Judge killed. Which, of course, the floating scum of the Rightist echo chamber will remind us, could not have been foreseen, and for which no one (aside from the gunman and any co-conspirators) can be blamed.


Commentary By Gummo At The Great Curmudgeon

At a press conference, Pima County Sheriff Clarence Dupnik said that
When you look at unbalanced people, how they respond to the vitriol that comes out of certain mouths about tearing down the government -- The anger, the hatred, the bigotry that goes on in this country is getting to be outrageous. And, unfortunately, Arizona I think has become sort of the Capital. We have become the Mecca for prejudice and bigotry... vitriol might be free speech, but it's not without consequences.

(NOTE: I originally thought ABC had reported that Gifford's husband, U.S. Navy Captain and Astronaut, Mark Kelley, had replied to a reporter's question that the Tea Party was to blame for the attack on his wife. That's what I believed I'd heard; I tried to find transcripts for both the ABC World News and CBS Evening News, but they haven't yet been released for today's broadcasts. After watching clips of both programs, I believe the reference was actually to the Pima County Sheriff.)

Unfortunately, Speaker Boner, President Sessions and President Cantor won't blame any of this, or of the increasingly violent rhetoric and acts in America, on the Rethug hate machine: Like Little Glenny Beck, Lard Boy; Bill-O; Little Mikey Weiner; Little Rupert, and Little Annie Coulter; I've written about it before.

Individually and collectively, for nearly twenty years, they and others who mimic them have all made a great deal of money by demonizing the Left, creating a public vomatorium of hatred -- because it sells (Lard Boy himself admitted that the controversy he creates with his hate speech "allows me to charge confiscatory ad[vertising] rates").

"Second Amendment solutions" "Tea Party Justice" "We didn't bring guns -- this time" [Handmade signs from photos of tea party rallies]; "Why don't [terrorists car-bomb] the New York Times" [Coulter]; "We are at war with this president" [Limbaugh]; "The Revolution is Now" [Beck]; "You fags should get AIDS and die" "Only ...resistance to this baby dictator, Barack Hussein Obama, can prevent the Khmer Rouge from appearing in this country" [Weiner]; "At what point do the people march down to their state legislator's house, pull him outside, and beat him to a bloody pulp?" [Erik Erikson, Red State]


Map Of Democratic 'Targets', From SARAHPAC Website, 2010
(Giffords' is third in the Arizona map, on the lower right)

Like the crosshairs on Little Sarah Palin's website map of Democrats "targeted" in the midterm elections. Giffords herself told CBS News in an interview (replayed on the CBS Evening News tonight) during the 2010 elections that Palin's use of "crosshairs... looks harmless, but can have real consequences".

Little Sarah, Plain and Tall, posted a brief comment on her Facebook site, My sincere condolences are offered to the family of Rep. Gabrielle Giffords and the other victims of today's tragic shooting in Arizona... we all pray for the victims and their families, and for peace and justice.

Peace? No. Like a person who provides the weapon, The Little Sarahs of the world thrive on fear and conflict to make a profit. When someone uses the weapon for a violent attack, the Little Sarahs and Glennys, Lard Boys and Mikey Weiners say Hey; we're not responsible for what some nut case does!

Justice? No. They won't be blamed.

A commentator at The Great Curmudgeon's site noted that in Weimar Germany, violent right-wing rhetoric, and actual violence including political assassination defined that pre-Hitler era, adding, "What we're seeing is nothing new".

The Right in this country -- like the Right in Europe of the 20's and 30's -- can't be divorced from its pustulent rhetoric. They rely on it to define themselves; by contrast, the Left in America doesn't respond in kind. And violent words lead to progressively more violent acts. Only a fool will refuse to see that.

Only a fool believes that currents in history never repeat themselves. But the Right, which eagerly laps up the vomit of the Becks and Limbaughs and O'Reillys, aren't much concerned with History. And ignoring the past is to walk down an incline which is almost impossible to climb up again, without paying a heavy price. Ask the Germans. Ask the Spanish.

But, I'm only a Dog, and no one listens to me.


Friday, January 7, 2011

Dog Dominance

More Random Barking: Friday Edition



I'm not sure what Neil Genzlinger is, other than desperate for a topic with which to fill the virtual space of his column as television critic for the New York Times online.

Today's frothy concoction was, "There’s a Canine Conspiracy! Television Reveals It!", wherein we learn that dogs in America are depicted on various cable programs (The Dog Whisperer; It's Me Or The Dog; and Petkeeping With Marc Morrone) as "a collection of neurotic, insecure, bitchy, bullying creatures".

Neil claims, all tongue-in-cheek, aber natürlich, that the causes for so many problem dogs, as shown on these teevee programs, are (1) The Media; (2) Liberal Democrats; and (3) Overregulation.

My opinion? Neil just didn't know what to write about when he got up this morning, after doing Shots from that Exmass gift bottle of Tres Generations, with the person in his life who allows him sexual access, last night.

As his submission deadline approached, he had nothin'. All he could do was slump, poleaxed and semi-comatose, on his sofa, watching whatever he surfed across on his 42" LCD-screen teevee device. Lookit all these shows about dogs, he thought -- though it took a while for the images of dogs to be recognized by his pre-frontal cortex as dogs, and not as, say, home appliances or his third-grade teacher.

And then, he stumbled across Family Guy:
Then came the slobbery “Beethoven” movies... and the even more slobbery “Turner & Hooch... And now there’s Brian, the more-human-than-the-humans dog on “Family Guy.” It’s no wonder your postmodern mutt, after spending hours watching this kind of stuff, thinks there are no rules.


Frankly, Having This Dog, Running The Country, Might
Not Be A Bad Thing At This Point (Photo: Intertubes)

Hey... Brian the Dog. Yeah; that's what I can write about, he thought. Simple; ties in wit' cable teevee... I'll use the Winger argument that it's all because of liberal permissiveness; little snarky ironic social comment, there... yeah, they'll take it. Sure.

He also still had a sufficiently high blood alcohol level to believe that this idea wouldn't be perceived as an act of desperation -- but of bloody genius; total Shakespear, man. Awesome.

Do I know if any of this is actually true? No. Did I indulge my taste for satire to make a point (that the column sucked)? Well, yes. Do I believe, as Neil claims, that there's a Canine Conspiracy; that dogs have it in for humans? No.

No, Neil. Not true. We just have it in for you.


Thursday, January 6, 2011

A Reprint: Two Men From Utah Beach

(Occasionally I write something that, after rereading it later, surprises me; I wrote this? Not because I'm such a talent [I am not. I'm a Dog who can write, but am, after all, only a Dog], but because it was just a nice bit or work -- blind squirrels and occasional acorns and all that. This is one of those posts, from January of 2010.)




Infantry Under Fire, Huddled At The Utah Beach Seawall,
June 6, 1944 (Smithsonian Collection; Public Domain)

Today, the New York Times, one of the last newspapers where publishing Obituaries is an art form (one of the last newspapers, come to that), reported two men who had once been at Utah Beach at the same time on D-Day -- J.D. Salinger -- author of Franny And Zooey; Raise High The Roof Beam, Carpenters; and, aber natürlich, Catcher In The Rye -- and Louis Auchincloss ("Wall Street lawyer from a prominent old New York family who became a durable and prolific chronicler of Manhattan’s old-money elite"), died at ages 91 and 92 respectively.





Portrait Of Auchincloss By Everett Raymond Kinstler, 2008

Auchincloss was a member of America's hereditary, monied elite. He was raised in a world of town houses, summer homes on Long Island and Bar Harbor, Maine; private clubs and servants, debutante parties and travel abroad. However, as a child Auchincloss thought of himself as "neither rich nor aristocratic": In a 1974 autobiography, A Writer's Capital, he noted, “Like most children of affluence, I grew up with a distinct sense that my parents were only tolerably well off. This is because children always compare their families with wealthier ones, never with poorer."


Facades Of Brownstone Mansions, New York City 2008
(Photo: New York Times Online Real Estate Section)

His path through life was predictable enough for one of his class -- a comfortable childhood, preparatory schools; guaranteed entry to Yale in 1935; he seemed predestined for the life of a Gentleman of his class; a man with means who did little beyond tending and adding to the Family fortune. But it was in his Junior year at Yale that the wheels came off his little Bourgeois wagon.


Not For You And Me: Summer Home In Bar Harbor, ME

Auchincloss yearned to break from the well-travelled path of the monied and privileged and wrote a novel. When it was subsequently rejected by a major New York publisher, Auchincloss decided “that a man born to the responsibilities of a brownstone bourgeois world could only be an artist or writer if he were a genius.” He dropped out of Yale, which he found suffocating, and decided upon taking up a profession, one that his milieu wouldn't reject, and entered the University of Virginia Law School on the eve of WW2.

He was surprisingly good at the law -- and, Trusts and Estates law, at that -- a specialty almost solely devoted to the hereditary wealthy. In WW2, he volunteered for the U.S. Navy, was commissioned an officer and served in Naval Intelligence (typical for a Knickerbocker), but left that to command an LST at Utah beach on D-Day at Normandy, then in the Pacific after V-E Day. Even with his normal duties, he had completed a second novel, but "threw it in the trash".

It wasn't until 1947 that he completed The Indifferent Children, published after he returned to his law practice. It appeared under the pseudonym Andrew Lee, in deference to his mother, who thought the book “trivial and vulgar”, and feared it would damage his career (the horror of publicity, too, a trait of the rich).


Auchincloss At His New York City Home, 2005

I remember reading a New Yorker portrait of him several years ago while waiting in my Dog Trainer's office, and was struck with how much a man of his class he was -- and yet, he wasn't. He felt no sense of guilt at who and what he was (there isn't a trace of it in his writing). And, although I haven't read much of his work (which, like a wine, had hints of Edith Wharton and John Updike-ian highlights, though Auchincloss was far below Updike), his characters were drawn from his own world, and in chronicling their human failings, Auchincloss pointed up the value of at least an ethical rectitude if not a moral one.

The very wealthy are rarely seen by the likes of you and I. Where they live, where they eat, travel and shop is inside a Magic Circle of privilege and exclusivity. If he hadn't been an author, and his books hadn't possessed some merit, Auchincloss would have moved through life inside that Circle, acting as lawyer to his own tribe; his mark would have been made in helping them to preserve and maintain wealth accumulated over generations. His friends and clients would have been "his crowd... the right sort", who knew people he knew, summered where he did, voted Republican, and may have had their suits, shirts and shoes custom-made by the same Gentleman's tailors and reclusive cobblers.

But that wasn't his life -- or, not all of it. When he was writing, he was temporarily freed of the bourgeois world he swam in so easily. Auchincloss couldn't escape what he was as a man, but as an author he tried to see further, explore the human condition and bring back an artifact from his travels for a wider audience.

Commenting to an interviewer for some Tony Manhattan publication in 2007, however, Auchincloss reminded us that the world of the wealthy never really goes away in what are, for the rest of us, good times or bad:

Even near the end of his life, Mr. Auchincloss said the influence of his class had not waned. “I grew up in the 1920s and 1930s in a nouveau riche world, where money was spent wildly, and I’m still living in one!,” he told The Financial Times in 2007. “The private schools are all jammed with long waiting lists; the clubs — all the old clubs — are jammed with long waiting lists today; the harbors are clogged with yachts; there has never been a more material society than the one we live in today. Where is this ‘vanished world’ they talk about?” he asked. “I don’t think the critics have looked out the window!”





J.D. Salinger, Surprised By A Fan's Camera In Cornish, NH,
On His 89th Birthday In 2008: "Woe betide any of those fans
who track him down just to explain that they, like, totally
love him and can so relate to his retreat from a world of
phony bastards. 'No you don’t,' he told one such visitor,
'Or you wouldn’t be here.' "

Jerome David Salinger was once groomed by his father for a career in the ham business, which, fortunately for American letters, never quite congealed. He was born in New York City, attended Progressive and Prep schools; he had just begun to publish short fiction -- in The New Yorker, no less -- when he was drafted in 1942. Initially a rifleman in the 4th Infantry Division, he was transferred to serve as a Counterintelligence specialist, trained to interrogate prisoners and review captured documents and maps -- meaning Salinger had to possess an above-average ability with spoken and written German.


Camp Ritchie, Maryland, During WW2 (Contemporary Postcard)

(Training for all CIC specialists was conducted at one location -- Camp Ritchie, Maryland, and is detailed in the book, Germans, by George Bailey [1970]. I wonder if Salinger and Bailey knew each other; they were at the Camp at the same time, 1943, and had to know the same instructors, characters, and fellow voulnteers, many of whom were German-Jewish refugees from the nazis who had taken U.S. citizenship.)

Salinger went ashore on D-Day at Utah beach with elements of the first wave of the 4th Infantry. I've wondered from time to time whether Louis Auchincloss, commanding an LST in carrying that first wave in to Utah on June 6th, ferried the future author of one of America's enduring, classic postwar novels that day; it's not impossible.

In December of 1944 and into 1945, Salinger fought in the Battle Of The Bulge -- when everyone on the line, for weeks, no matter what their MOS*, were riflemen. After The Bulge, he was was hospitalized with "battle fatigue", the forerunning terminology for Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder.

[*MOS = Military Occupational Specialty, a term more familiar to Vietnam-era draftees]


Salinger, In The U.S. Army, Circa 1944 (Unknown)

After release from hospital, he remained in Germany for at least a year, helping Allied authorities track down nazi functionaries wanted by the Occupation powers. He married a German woman, briefly; very little is known of her, or this period in Salinger's life.

(We might be able to infer what some of his duties may have been, again from George Bailey's book: Many of the CIC specialists in 1945-46 also helped to resettle refugees from the Soviets in various small German communities -- who were under Allied military jurisdiction and had no choice but to, uh, follow orders.)

(This involved a degree of subterfuge, quick wits, and a sense of both the scale of physical and moral destruction the nazis had brought on Europe and their own country; and a heightened sense of the kind of absurdity peculiar to the U.S. Army, which appears in novels like Catch-22 or Slaughterhouse Five.)

Returning from the war, Salinger also returned to New York City and in 1948 published a short story, "A Perfect Day For Bananafish", in the New Yorker -- a kind of shot-across-the-bow to announce a different kind of writer was in town. After several other short stories were published by the magazine, in 1951 Salinger's seminal novel, Catcher In The Rye, was published.

Salinger had A Major And Serious Jones for attention as a literary genius; While in college, even before the war,he bragged about his literary talent and ambitions, and proven he had the chops for it. But, when Catcher became a runaway bestseller and critical success, being in the 'eye of the comic book hurricane' was more than he bargained for.


Salinger On The Cover Of TIME, 1953: From The Bulge
To National Notoriety In Less Than Ten Years

It wasn't just being lionized by the Establishment press and New York literary mafia; the book was a landmark of postwar American alienation. Salinger seemed to give a voice through his narrator, Holden Caulfield, to the conflicted, shamed, vainglorious, and noble patter which runs through all our heads on a daily basis; Caulfield was nearly an archetypal figure -- and the novel resonated.

What I like best is a book that's at least funny once in a while...What really knocks me out is a book that, when you're all done reading it, you wish the author that wrote it was a terrific friend of yours and you could call him up on the phone whenever you felt like it. That doesn't happen much, though.
Holden Caulfield, Catcher In The Rye

And it did resonate with the feelings of being lost, an undefined longing, in so many people who read the novel that Salinger was subjected to what eventually would be termed 'stalking' from readers -- some enthusiastic, many others troubled; but all of whom believed Salinger had a finer perception of the world we live in, and could be that "terrific friend" and help them. They wanted answers to The Big Questions.

(Sometimes, it's the author of the moment you look for. In the 70's, after The World According To Garp had appeared, four friends from my time in New York and I borrowed someone's car and drove up into New England; there was talk of trying to get a glimpse of Salinger -- rejected by the eternal Mick Koznick as "too bourgeois" -- turned into a search for Putney, Vermont, and author John Irving, which might have succeeded but for the fact that we were primarily drunk most of the time.)

(Koznick was a guy as big as Lucca Brazi, in black leather jacket and Ray-Bans, who, drunk off his ass in a West Orange bar, would punch you in the chest with a forefinger to emphasize a point and say in a serious working-class, Mobbed-up Jersey accent, M'eye right? (Pause) Ah'm right. M'eye right? (Pause) Ah'm right. When someone like Mick tells you looking for Salinger is too Bourgeois, you tend to accept the judgment with out much Hoo-Hah.)


First Paperback Edition Of Catcher In The Rye

The response of college students to the work of J. D. Salinger indicates that he, more than anyone else, has not turned his back on the times but, instead, has managed to put his finger on whatever struggle of significance is going on between self and culture.
Phillip Roth, 1974

Eventually, Salinger told his editors that he was “good and sick” of seeing his photograph on the dust jacket of Catcher in the Rye and demanded that it be removed from subsequent editions. He ordered his agent to burn any fan mail. In 1953, Salinger moved to a 90-acre parcel of land in Cornish, New Hampshire, which had a long history as an artist's colony.

And, for the most part, Salinger was never publicly seen again. He was rumored to have achieved a mystical state of satori and left the physical plane; or to be writing novel after novel to be published after his death (and so removed from attendant publicity); or to have decayed into an abberated, Howard-Hughes-like paranoid, long-haired recluse. College students tried staking out his property, or -- once it became known he had a PO Box in Cornish -- his local Post Office. sightings of Salinger were few, and brief; the man was smart and quick.


James Earl Jones As 'Terence Mann', The Salinger Character
From W.P. Kinsella's Tale Which Became Field Of Dreams

In the early 80's, when W.P. Kinsella wrote his novel, "Shoeless Joe" (turned into the film Field Of Dreams in 1989), he put J. D. Salinger into the novel, going to New Hampshire to bring him back to Iowa and the magical baseball field Ray Kinsella has built in his cornfield. Salinger would have nothing to do with the production and didn't want his name used; the reclusive author figure played by James Earl Jones became 'Terence Mann' ("I don't know the secret of life -- and I don't have any answers for you. So piss off").

In 1997, Ron Rosenblum wrote a piece for Esquire magazine, "The Haunted Life Of J. D. Salinger": The silence of a writer is not quite the same as the silence of God, but there's something analogous: an awe-inspiring creator, someone who we belive has some answers of some kind, refusing to respond to us, hiding his face, withholding his creation.

Still, Salinger could be seen in and around Cornish, if you were diligent. He would be outdone in the reclusiveness department by Thomas Ruggles Pynchon, Jr., author of his own engrossing postmodern novels ( V.; Gravity's Rainbow; Crying Of Lot 49; Mason & Dixon; Vineland; Against The Day), who has only been publicly seen twice between the early 1960's and the late 1990's -- and not at all since.


Thomas Ruggles Pynchon, Jr., In 1953: One Of Seven

Only seven published photographs of him known are to exist -- six yearbook photos, and one as a seaman in the U.S. Navy in the mid-to-late 1950's.

Okay, Pynchon's done a few 'Simpsons' voiceovers, where his cartoon character has a paper bag over his head; and Robert K. Massie thanked Pynchon in the afterword to Massie's amazingly good 1991 book, Dreadnought; but he still makes Salinger look like a publicity hog.

Unlike Salinger, Pynchon (who is 73 this year) isn't demanding, Garbo-like, to be left alone; he simply prefers anonymity. Doing the occasional 'Simpsons' guest spot is Pynchon's way of mocking his own sense of privacy -- something Salinger would never have done, and proof that hanging out with Tom for an afternoon or over a beer wouldn't be a waste of time and might even be fun.

Wikipedia notes: In the early 1990s, Pynchon married his literary agent, Melanie Jackson — a great-granddaughter of Theodore Roosevelt — and fathered a son, Jackson, in 1991. The disclosure ... led some journalists and photographers to try to track him down.

[I]n 1997, a CNN camera crew filmed him in Manhattan. Angered by this invasion of his privacy, he rang CNN asking that he not be identified ... "Let me be unambiguous. I prefer not to be photographed." In 1998, a reporter for the [South African] Sunday Times managed to snap a photo of him as he was walking with his son.

I don't know enough about Salinger's inner life, or Pynchon's, to know why they removed themselves from the barest hint of the public spotlight. But, I don't have to. Their lives -- like mine, or yours -- are no one else's business.

I don't agree with John Fowles' autobiographical-fictional narrator in his novel, Daniel Martin, when he notes that creative persons put themselves up on a public soapbox and suffer all that doing so entails. I'm a fairly private person, and Pynchon (or Salinger)'s ire at being stalked like a Snow Leopard by a National Geographic film team is wholly appropriate.


“Here’s your quote. Thomas Pynchon loved this book. Almost
as much as he loves cameras,” a reference indicating that
Marge Simpson’s novel sucks Brontosauruses. Fellow Recluse
Salaman Rushdie describes Pynchon as "Still Crazy After All
These Years".

Salinger was married several times, and divorced; in the 1990's, his daughter would publish a book about being the child of an obviously brilliant and obsessive-compulsive man, the only look into his world anyone had been granted in almost forty years. One tantalizing glimpse from the book: Salinger had a bookcase in his Cornish home, packed with what very well may have been manuscripts written over the years.


Salinger And His Wife, Circa 2009 (Paul Adao, NY Post)

About the same time, in his early eighties, Salinger married a nurse "considerably younger" than himself, but did not change his reclusiveness or irascibility. His new wife adopted Salinger's desire for privacy. He only had his name brought back into the public spotlight when forced -- as he did last year, when a Swedish author wanted to publish what amounted to a sequel to Catcher, titled "Sixty Years After". The Swede claimed it was a parody, like Jane Austen With Zombies. Salinger was plenty steamed, and a court agreed with him.

After breaking his hip this past winter, his health declined rapidly, and he passed away -- peacefully, it was reported -- last night. Like Auchincloss, he lived his life on his own terms; not comfortably provided to him, but -- for better or worse, like all of us -- one made by his own hand. But I believe Salinger will be missed, and his works read by new generations (Catcher In The Rye still sells over 250,000 copies a year) long after Louis' writings fade into a genteel obscurity.

I hope to hell that when I do die somebody has the sense to just dump me in the river or something. Anything except sticking me in a goddam cemetery. People coming and putting a bunch of flowers on your stomach on Sunday, and all that crap. Who wants flowers when you're dead? Nobody.
Holden Caulfield, Catcher In The Rye


The Why Of Dog

Random Barking

Most people I know who cruise the Intertubes have a handful of sites which they visit regularly. They also use it for topic-specific searches (Which actor played the cop Bruce Willis punched at the end of that movie on a river which I can't remember the name of?), and just for random cruising.

Pretty pictures, writing that makes us laugh, cry, or not; funny videos. As a species, we demand our Entertainment -- and where there's entertainment, there's advertising and data mining and money to be made. Facebook knows. So does Little Lloyd Blankfein (CEO of Goldman Sachs VampSquid).

For the sites I visit regularly, I'm amazed at the amount of personal opinion about -- well, stuff that gets tossed out there, embedded like raisins or ratshit amongst more 'serious' essays about Our Life In These Times, or posts based on their professional work as financial analysts, historians, or monster truck devotees.

Opinions about the best martini, whether Jimmy Page or Rory Gallagher is the better classic rock guitarist; reports about their vacations; or why, uh, "intimate" relationships in marriage can actually be Teh Hot. It's like reading someone's diary, with misspellings, misinformation and syntax errors intact -- but, I suspect you already know this about the Intertubes.

It's the functional equivalent of a playground (or a neighborhood bar), with all the arbitrary supervision, rules you learn as you go, and ultimately organized for someone else's financial benefit. But you hang out there because it's flashy, and fun, and sometimes you're lonely and have no where else to go. Unlike the neighborhood bar, it can also be a place where everyone doesn't know your name (this blog a case in point).

Some sites are nearly all random junk tossed out of the unsorted, sock-drawer minds of people who should spend less time online (Some -- the Goldbergs and Malkins, the Coulters, McArdles and Althouses, shouldn't be allowed Intertube access, at all). Occasionally, they find an acorn and publish something enlightening, but it's like hunting for a bomber in the chaff: Your radar has better things to do.

We who blog can't resist posting that personal and meaningless, opinionated Stuff, though -- because we're paradoxical creatures, who crave order and regularity and at the same time seek the "new", the random and surprising. And everybody who blogs does it.

I'm doing it right now. Woof Woof Woof Woof. Bark Bark. Bark.