Sad

Debatable

The Village punditry will make much of tonight's debate -- that's really the only opinion that matters, you know, that of our Fine Villagers.

Down here where Dogs live, I wasn't happy with what I saw. Obama was the law professor -- up in his head, trying to explain the interconnected complexities of health and social safety net programs, and not very connected to his heart or any fire in his belly. He seemed distracted, uncertain. Not at the top of his game.

By comparison, Romney tried to blind Obama with science and numbers (and, us, too) but didn't make much sense.  He didn't have to. All he had to do was keep talking and not say something so sound-bite stupid that it would become the moment replayed over and over in the media (there was no such moment on either side, really).

All Romney had to do was obtain a draw was stand his ground and spew the same empty platitudes, bereft of detail, for an hour -- and the Village pundits will crow about how he had found his second wind and how "fresh life" is breathed into his campaign -- how the race is now "so much closer".

Rightist pundits will spin Mitzy's draw into a win (can't wait to hear Lard Boy and Bill-O chitter about it). The Democratic campaign spokespersons will talk about how the President pointed out that Mitzy continues to make promises spun out of sugar: No details about how he will do... well, anything.

All in all, I was disappointed, as I often have been with Obama -- I've wanted a Democratic President who was a fusion between FDR and Schwarzenegger's character in Raw Deal, and I know, painfully, that this is both ludicrous and impossible; still, I look for a champion who will say the things that -- as Clinton did in his speech at the Democratic convention -- need to be said out loud: The Truth. 

In the second Presidential debate, if Obama doesn't do better, the election could end up being much closer than we believe.

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MEHR:

(Cartoon: © Mr Fish)

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Kein Schwein Ruft Mich An

Mitzy Loves Everyone He Despises

Tens of Millions more dollars in Addled Sheldon or Koch Brothers money have been spent on producing a new series of television ads, featuring Mitzy, looking directly at the camera and saying that everywhere he looks there are people out of work and that America is in a mess buh buh buh buh and that we can't afford blah blah blah and that he will sing us a song Ooodle Ooodle Ooodle and that he cares and loves us so much and that we should all go to sleep now.

Plus, this UTub goes on for twelve hours and forty minutes. So I guess this is kind of an Endurance Video. Or, possibly Republicans are meant to, um, do something while watching.  Close your eyes and think of Drudge, perhaps. Or clean your constitutionally-mandated personal weapon(s).

What these tiny masterpieces of disingenuousness don't say is that the political party he represents, and the class of wealth which he represents, are in large part responsible for so many Americans being out of work -- as Mitzy reminds us, over and over, that he is filled with compassion for all things that live. He's full of something; you can be absolutely certain.

Do these assclowns actually believe that if independent voters are subjected to a blizzard of I AM THE COMPASSIONATE HUMAN ONE commercials, that they're going to believe it? That it will influence their vote? That they'll ignore the slathering, yapping insistence of Little Paulie Ryan, four years old, who wants America to feel the pain? Do they believe that?

Yes, they do.  And in that, they hold all Americans, every single one of us, in contempt.

  I'm Mongo, and I approved this message. Woof.

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Reprint Heaven: Got That Right

Just Sayin'

(From December 28th of last year. Unfortunately,  I have Dog Training* at the same time President Obama, Mitzy, and the Reanimated Corpse Of Ronald The Dim go at it in Denver. Document The Atrocities!)

(Courtesy Plutocracy Files)

(* 'Dog Training' is a polite euphemism  which two of the people who read this blog will understand, along with the Super-Intelligent Parakeet, who could care less.)

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Predictive Debate Prediction

Come In Number 51, Your Time Is Up

This may be a stretch for some to recall (that's not a snide remark, but the truth), but remember the three presidential debates in the runup to the 2004 election, between "Lil' Boots" Bush and Sen. John Kerry?

Remember the T-shaped "mystery bulge" of something worn between Bush's shoulder blades, seen beneath his suitcoat? And how the Rethug camp denied and swore and laughed derisively at suggestions it was a wireless receiver, transmitting signals to a small earplug, allowing a team of Bush's handlers to tell that pathetic little man what to say -- so that he appeared commanding, virile, and bigger than his Daddy before all America? 

Randy Preibus says Mitzy is a skilled debater. In fact, under stress in the Rethug primary debates, he didn't appear to be that fast on his feet. Even when not under stress, he says silly, silly things.

I predict Mitzy will be lightly dosed with Benzodiazopan and wired up like something out of Mission: Impossible.  If only the signals broadcast to Mitzy could be intercepted, and replaced with, uh, other things.

LITTLE JIMMY LEHRER: Governor, this question is for you: Do you really see forty-seven per cent of the American public -- whether they vote or not is immaterial -- do you really see them as people who take no responsibility for their lives, and don't matter?

In Mitzy's Ear: GLAD I said that -- Glad! they're lazy, stupid and they smell!

MITZY: Jim, I'm glad I said that; I mean, I'm glad you said that; I didn't say that. Well -- I said it, but I didn't mean what was reported in the media that I said. I smell all Americans; not just the stupid ones --

In Mitzy's Ear: I love animal Americans.

MITZY: -- and American animals. I like animals, very much. But I didn't mean what was reported. I'm sorry; I'm having a little difficulty with the question.

LEHRER: But, Governor, it was a cellphone video. You did make those remarks.

Voice In Mitzy's Ear: God, that lady in the front row is hot. She's so hot. Yeah. Really hot.

MITZY:Well... it's -- it's a hot girl; ah, topic -- Jim. But it's a difficult, touchy, hot touchy thing, and as I said before, I didn't state it very elegantly.

In Mitzy's Ear: [ Pink Floyd, playing "Careful With That Axe, Eugene"]

The possibilities are endless.

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At Night They Still Dream

Summer Of Lube

Zombie Reagan, With Makeup Malfunction, Speaks At Safe Distance From Cheering Crowds 

ZOMBIE REAGAN: There is no RHUNGAAAAARRRR --- no height so difficult that we cannot NAR NAR NAR NAR --- as Americans. We  have always met our great challenges together. And eOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO each time we have met them, those challenges have become our greatest triumphs. Arroo.

America's best days are ahead.  A head. (Stops)  Eat head good. Arroo. [Applause]

The Good Old Boys who cling to power in the GOP are even more worried than they were before. With less than six weeks to the election, after pouring out millions in SuperPAC money from Addled Sheldon, Fat Karl, and the Koochy-Kootie Koch Brothers, the fortunes of The Mittster seem, if anything, to be dwindling. 

The Good Old Boys sit around with a bottle of Scotch, singing forbidden, old songs like We Hired Smedley Butler To Do In FDR, and share the incomprehension that even with millions of dollars in teevee propaganda to sink that Socialist Boy up the White House what thinks he's the President, the peasant masses don't seem to be responding.  They're nothing but goddam sheep, the Good Ol' Boys say; How come they ain't doin' what they're told?

Mitzy: "I'm Runnin' Against A Socialist And A Dead Man!"

They're troubled by the fact that Mitzy, their candidate, has turned out to be a stiff, overpriced corporate haircut with the human warmth of a used-car salesman and the appeal of week-old Eclair slathered in Vaseline.  His teammate, Little Paulie Ryan, isn't much better -- Paulie can't wait to use Austerity to make Americans "feel the pain", like the Spanish, and the Greeks. The Good Ol' Boys make jokes about Paulie's ears (Look like the doors hangin' open on the Lincoln Continental we shot Kennedy in! the Boys roar), but the laughter is hollow and doesn't last.

They slip into an uneasy, drunken sleep. But as they toss and turn, they still dream that dream: That a Zombified Ronald Rayguns has returned from the cold, cold ground with a burning determination to lead America and consume the flesh of anyone who gets too close. It doesn't matter; He Is Reagan, the Saint, their only chance for victory. And, hell; he still looks pretty good; hasn't even been dead that long.

Obligatory Gratuitous Photo Of Laurie Holden

The whole thing seems fraught with peril. After all, Ron went after that camerman at his first press conference after appearing (Feed him Bill Clinton! The Boys roar). But some of them have watched "The Walking Dead" (and part of their dreams involve Laurie Holden; shame on them); they believe they know how the Zombie Reagan can be handled.

The Proto-Candidate, Getting A Little Too Close To The Paparazzi For Comfort

After weeks of intensive conditioning that involves a hot dog on a length of string, and the best embalming techniques money can buy (Get those boys what kept Lenin lookin' so good all them years! the Good Ol' Boys roar), Zombie Reagan appears more or less his old self for the cameras -- except, of course, for spontaneously attacking living humans and an unfortunate tendency to blurt out random, nonsensical sounds.

As a precaution, those working most closely with the deceased, reanimated former President coat themselves with an industrial lubricant. Should Zombie Reagan get his claws on them, they easily slip out of his grasp and behave as if everything was normal until Reagan calms down.

A camaraderie develops between the Zombie Reagan's closest handlers; they refer to this election season as the "Summer Of Lube", and few of them suffer more than semi-permanent psychological damage. And, if anyone is bitten, they've already signed waivers which allow their immediate decapitation, and destruction of their heads.
  
There's a full-court press to get Zombie Rayguns in front of the public. He appears (on a remote teevee feed) as a guest of Dancin' Dave Gregory on MSNBC's "Meet The Press":

DANCIN' DAVE: But, sir, you are dead, are you not? Do you see that as a handcap in running for the Presidency once again?

ZOMBIE REAGAN:  Well, David; there you go ANNNNNGHH; there you go. There. Don't go there.



 DANCIN' DAVE: I'm sorry, sir, but it is an obvious point. Let's move on to the economy. 

ZOMBIE REAGAN:  The American people deserve better, David; I recall WUH recall in 1982 how difficult things were for so many. But we stayed true to our faith in ourselves. And by standing - stirring - staining SUUUUUUNGHHH well; there you go. It was hard and TASTEEEEE but we stood firm and the crisis passed. And as long as UMMM DINGEE DINGEDOOO, we can do so again, David.

DANCIN' DAVE: Sir, David Brooks wrote in the New York Times this past week that your late run for the presidency has a "moral odor" about it; are you splitting Republican votes? Are you a better candidate than the actual party nominee, Mitt Romney?

ZOMBIE REAGAN: Well; David, if I could just get in a room alone with Mr. Romney for five minutes, we would emerge united. It would mean victory for the Republican party, and for HURNGGGH America. I keep telling people I'd WHUUUH ARRNG! ARNG! but it seems some of Mr. Romney's people are resistant to that idea. We'll continue to hope for that dialog before we get too close to the Election. And I would like David Brooks, eat. Brooks

DANCIN' DAVE: We're facing an unprecedented situation, approaching a 'Fiscal Cliff' in January of 2013. What will you do, sir, to prevent that? Do you have a plan? Will Americans have to feel pain before things are better?

ZOMBIE REAGAN: Well, yes, David. But REEEEEEEEEN for a moment. Then it's morning again, forever. Arroo.

DANCIN' DAVE: We'll be back with Cardinal Norman Wasserstein of the Archdiocese of New York to join us in a moment.

Soon, The Great Debate between President Obama, Mitzy, and the Reanimated and Hungry Ronald.

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Mitt Romney's Magical Mystery Tour

Romney, On The Bus, Wants You All To Drink The (Electric) Kool-Aid, Man

Once upon a time, I enjoyed the experience of psychoactive chemicals in many varieties of their manifestations, as often as I could get my hands on them.  There were a number of reasons for this; some existential and searching, and others recreational. It isn't something I'd jump at now quite as readily, but for about three years I and a group of like-minded dirty hippies had a good bit of fun.

I remember a warm summer afternoon when a group of friends -- all of us near-Stratospheric in our tripping -- decided we would get in a car and go across the Golden Gate Bridge to get hamburgers somewhere in Marin County. When actually receiving our burgers, they seemed icky and strange, and we were eyed carefully by a pair of CHP officers on a coffee break, but no matter).

I turned to look at my friend who suggested this, the owner of the car; his head appeared to be on fire -- I mean, a blowtorch, engulfed in flames like something out of Marvel Comics. "Man," I said casually, "You are absolutely way too fucked up to drive. Gimmie the keys."

Mitzy's campaign is an anology to that story. Not only is he a clueless empty suit who can't connect with the "common people" because he has utterly no idea what the lives of 'ordinary' Americans are like -- but whatever vision of America he's tripping on, he thinks it's everyone else whose head is on fire -- and he's telling us to hand him the keys.  (Snort) Yeah; right.

Think I'm kidding?

Via Wonkette:

 “When you have a fire in an aircraft, there’s no place to go ... and you can’t find any oxygen from outside the aircraft to get in the aircraft, because the windows don’t open. I don’t know why they don’t do that. It’s a real problem."

America continues to stand in mute wonder at the sight of a rich, pampered adult human, believing so completely in a Fox News, Karl Rove RedState, Grover Cleveland Drudge Norquist, Zombie-Reagan separate reality where scientific principles regarding combustion and explosive decompression have been negated, right along with the Affordable Health Care Act.

Or, as we watched on teevee last night, when Mitzy spoke with CBS Anchor and '60 Minutes' Journalist Scott Pelley while flying in his campaign jet, the Starship:

No, we're even -- we're even in the polls. There are all kinds of polls, every day there's a poll; you're up, you're down -- and say, Scott; check out this glow-in-the-dark Play-Doh, man; it's so fuckin' cool. And you know you have a tentacle growing out of your forehead, right? Don't worry; it looks good on you -- and holy bee-jeebers, it's hot in here, what with all the bunnies and the cattle. Mind if I open a window?

If America were an airliner in flight, and Mitzy ended up as it's captain, he would open a window at 35,000 feet -- just because it made some kind of bizarre sense to him to let the air in.
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MEHR:  I am reminded by El Rog The Magnificent, my fellow resource at The Place Of Witless Labor™,  that the One Per Centers such as Mitzy are different from you and me:

Remember that Mitt's idea of "Middle Class" are those making $250,000.00 per year, and his circle can afford to spend more at a single meal than most people earn in a year.... If you can't afford to set your house on fire and walk away when the toilet paper roll is empty, and go to one of your other houses, don't bother him.

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True Colors

 To Mitzy, Chances Are ~ 50% That You're Lazy, Irresponsible, And Don't Matter

We can’t get very far if we’re just writing off half the country as a bunch of victims, or presume that somehow they want to be dependent on government or don’t want to take responsibility for their own lives.  --  President Barack Obama, September 21, 2012

When the now-infamous Cellphone Video surfaced a week ago, I wasn't at all surprised by Mitzy's comments (You can read the full transcript at Mother Jones online).   After all, he was speaking to a crowd of his people. They all share the same perspectives on America, its population, and what should be done to ensure a top-down, trickle-down vision dominates the future.  Aber natürlich he didn't bother to censor himself.

This One Per Cent notion of our country and culture was highlighted in a short Los Angeles Times article this past July about a traffic jam of wealthy donors, making their way to a gated estate in the Hamptons (don't know about the Hamptons? Go here) where Little Mitt Romney was going to speak to them -- and, oh yes; take their checks.

A New York City donor a few cars back, who also would not give her name, said Romney needed to do a better job connecting. “I don’t think the common person is getting it,” she said from the passenger seat of a Range Rover stamped with East Hampton beach  permits.“Nobody understands why Obama is hurting them. We’ve got the message,” she added. “But my college kid, the baby sitters, the nails ladies — everybody who’s got the right to vote — they don’t understand what’s going on. I just think if you’re lower income — one, they’re not as educated; two, they don’t understand how it works, they don’t understand how the systems work, they don’t understand the impact.”

Mitzy made his remarks on May 17th at the Boca Raton, Fla., home of Marc Leder, co-owner of the NBA’s Philadelphia 76ers, founder and co-CEO of Sun Capital Partners, a Boca Raton-based private investment firm which (according to the company’s website) focuses on leveraged buyouts -- the tactic, along with outsourcing, that made Bain Capital under Romney so successful (for workers in the impacted companies Bain took over... not so much).  Leder's estimated net worth is $400 million.

This is the same Marc Leder who rented a home in the Hamptons  last season, for one month, to throw a long string of "parties" -- real Roman-style, sybaritic, public sexyorgytime, and apparently quite popular with the moneyed set.  Marvelous Marc's rental cost of the house for that 30 days was $500,000 (I don't know if this included the hookers).

That's $16,000 per day -- and  $16K per year is just a little more than the Federal minimum wage of $7.25 per hour, about the mean average wage (according to Wikipedia) of Farmworkers, Laborers; Crop, Nursery, and Greenhouse workers; Ushers, Lobby Attendants, and Ticket Takers; Cafeteria, Food Concession, and Coffee Shop attendants -- Gardeners, and 'Personal Grooming' attendants.  That is, the Nails Ladies. 

So Markie's 30 Days Of Fuckpad cost him the annual salary of thirty Americans, working in what usually gets referred to as the 'service industry'. I've had a few of these jobs, and relative to what I do now, I can tell you the work is hard. But, you know; those are the 'lower income' types who "don't understand".

(Obligatory Cute Small Animal Photo In Middle Of Blog Rant)

And. the minimum wage is one of the legacies of FDR's New Deal -- which the One Per Cent would like to drown in a bathtub, with the help of Little Grover. That, and replacing Social Security with a Stock Market Casino and Medicare with Vouchers For All, would be part of Austerity For America -- what Little Paulie Ryan likes to call the "sacrifice", the "pain" that they intend to force on the American people. But not on the One Per Cent, aber natürlich.

So, Romney told people in Boca Raton what they already believe:  47% are Liberals -- lazy, stupid, wanting nothing but government handouts, taking no personal responsibility for their lives. They're serfs,. They lie; they steal and they smell. You have to keep them in line and watch what they're doing every minute.

Audience member: For the last three years, all everybody's been told [by the Obama administration, i.e., 'the government] is, "Don't worry, we'll take care of you." How are you going to do it, in two months before the elections, to convince everybody, "You've got to take care of yourself"?

Romney: There are 47 percent of the people who will vote for the president no matter what. All right, there are 47 percent who are with him, who are dependent upon government, who believe that they are victims, who believe that government has a responsibility to care for them, who believe that they are entitled to health care, to food, to housing, to you name it. That that's an entitlement. And the government should give it to them. 

And they will vote for this president no matter what... These are people who pay no income tax. Forty-seven percent of Americans pay no income tax. So our message of low taxes doesn't connect. And [Obama will] be out there talking about tax cuts for the rich. I mean, that's what they sell every four years. 

And so my job is not to worry about those people—I'll never convince them that they should take personal responsibility and care for their lives. What I have to do is convince the 5 to 10 percent in the center that are independents...

Also, one attendee at the soiree told Mitzy:

The debates are gonna be coming, and I hope at the right moment you can turn to President Obama, look at the American people, and say, "If you vote to reelect President Obama, you're voting to bankrupt the United States." I hope you keep that in your quiver because that's what gonna happen. 

 Mitzy replied, "Yeah, it's interesting," then proceeded to tell the room that the Federal Reserve is keping the economy afloat by printing money, "just making it up. The Federal Reserve is just ...saying, 'Here, we're giving it.'  It's just made up money."

[A]s soon as the Fed stops buying all the debt that we’re issuing—which they’ve been doing, the Fed’s buying like three-quarters of the debt that America issues. He said, once that’s over, he said we’re going to have a failed Treasury auction, interest rates are going to have to go up. We’re living in this borrowed fantasy world, where the government keeps on borrowing money.

 Paul Krugman, one of the smartest people on Earth when it comes to economics (certainly smarter than Mitzy), posted on Thursday in the New York Times that Romney was as usual spouting nonsense that had stuck in his head. If you follow the link, The Krug Man will explain why this is so, but the short version is, Mitzy is spewing an urban myth; the Fed purchased large amounts of Treasuries from Q2 of 2008 through Q1, 2009 -- and interest rates still went down.

 I was half-watching Washington Week In Review this evening, but my ears perked up when I heard one of the Beltway guest journalists mentioned that a complaint about Romney, even from people who support him, is that as a person Mitzy is an awkward, hazy cypher: People "just don't know him", or he "doesn't connect" easily with others.


 What the cellphone video showcased, the reporter said, was the real and unvarnished Romney, with all upper-class prejudices and crippled vision on display. His crowd of one-per-centers see the world in near-feudal terms -- it belongs to them, and the unwashed peasantry of "nail ladies", gardeners and salespersons which populates it are lazy good-for-nothings who don't work as hard as the Owners and Makers, like Little Mitt.

And other reporters are seeing the same thing, as Mitzy travels the country, endlessly fundraising as he attempts to bury the Obama and the Democrats under a sea of SuperPAC cash (In fact, some of his Romney's advisors have told him to stop raising money and concentrate in the last six weeks before the election on 'connecting' with voters).

With "His" people, he easily tosses off comments like those in Boca Raton -- however, the problem in Florida is that he was caught on video. This was Mitzy's "Macaca" moment, so politically harmful because it confirmed everything people already knew or suspected about him.

At 10PM Eastern time on Monday night, over a day after the video was released by Mother Jones, Mitzy gave what was referred to as a "shotgun presser".   Romney's campaign had already been hit earlier in the day by a story at Politico, reporting on confusion and disarray. It was expected Romney would offer some explanation or to apologize a seriously embarrassing gaffe.

Romney didn't. As a campaign reporter noted afterwards, 

[I]t would have helped if Romney had said something that… helped.  [A]ll he really did was say the same thing that got him in trouble, but in a wordier fashion, and with a Church Lady delivery. Even given the chance to explain what he meant, Romney still equated unemployment with a deficit of personal responsibility.

 
 He did not apologize or retract a single word captured on the video. He didn't attempt to address it's real message about the twisted values and lack of principle which define his candidacy --  I represent personal wealth, influence and interest, and if elected will do all I can to aid wealth and people like myself.  

We own or control everything. The rest of you are serfs who don't matter a damn; you all work for us one way or another. When I'm elected, you can shift for yourselves. If you can't pull yourself up, when it gets too tough, you can hang yourself by your own bootstraps. Life is for those who have, and those who don't shall lose.

Well, you know, it [Romney's message in the video]'s not elegantly stated, let me put it that way. I’m speaking off-the-cuff in response to a question, and I'm sure I could state it more clearly and in a more effective way than I did in a setting like that. And so I’m sure I’ll point that out as time goes on...

But it’s a message which I’m going to carry and continue to carry, which is, look, the President’s approach is attractive to people who are not paying taxes because, frankly, my discussion about lowering taxes isn’t as attractive to them, and therefore I’m unlikely to draw them into my campaign as effective[ly] as those in the middle. This is really about the political process of winning the election. Of course, I want to help all Americans, all Americans, have a bright and prosperous future and I’m convinced the President’s approach has not done that, and will not do that.

 Any questions?

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Potentially Extremely Bad Ruh-Roh

Bad JuJu

On Monday of this week, Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu publicly scoured out the American government and the Obama administration for not making a commitment to "red lines" for the intransigent Iranian government over its nuclear program -- a point past which the United States would militarily support an Israeli strike on Iran's nuclear facilities. (See updated reports on this and following events here from the New York Times.)

Mr. Netanyahu’s unusually harsh public comments about Israel’s most important ally... laid bare the tension between him and President Obama over how to handle Iran. They also suggested that he is willing to use the pressure of the presidential election to try to force Mr. Obama to commit to attack Iran under certain conditions...

Mr. Netanyahu, speaking at a news conference in Jerusalem, said, “Those in the international community who refuse to put red lines before Iran don’t have a moral right to place a red light before Israel.”

In addition, the Israeli Embassy in Washington reported on Tuesday that the White House had declined a request by Netanyahu to meet with the President later this month when Benny attends (and presumably addresses) the UN General Assembly.

The White House replied when asked that the decision not to meet was due to a conflict with the President's schedule, and conveyed to the Prime Minister's office "long ago". Later, they denied any such meeting was even scheduled: “Contrary to reports in the press, there was never a request for Prime Minister Netanyahu to meet with President Obama in Washington, nor was a request for a meeting ever denied.”

In case you hadn't noticed, not only did the White House's response appear inconsistent, it was the functional equivalent of calling Netanyahu's office a bunch of liars, which isn't exactly the tone you want to set in international relations. CBS news reported yesterday that the refusal may have been fueled by Netanyahu's warm reception to Mitzy last month -- a way for the Obama administration to say, "You want to support our opponent in the election so openly? Fine. No face time for you".

On Tuesday night, Obama called Netanyahu and spoke for an hour, as the NYT reported, "hashing through the Iran confrontation and their misunderstandings".

On Wednesday, as a result of a trailer for an unreleased, anti-Muslim film that had been posted roughly a week ago on YouTube (and created by either an U.S.-Israeli businessman, an Egyptian, or an ex-con with half adozen aliases, depending upon who you talk to), the U.S. Embassy compounds in both Egypt and Libya were attacked.

The clip, which depicted the chief focus of Islam as a buffoonish child molester, had been posted earlier with an English audio track, and then reposted (in case anyone in the Middle East missed it) with Arabic translation. It appeared that whoever was behind the film's production wanted a reaction from the Muslim world -- and given the response to the release of cartoons of the prophet Muhammad by a Danish artist almost a decade ago, the film's producers understood exactly what they were doing. Why they were doing it now is another question.

The U.S. Embassy in Egypt -- which experiences generally peaceful protests on a regular basis -- issued a brief comment, before the attacks occured:

The Embassy of the United States in Cairo condemns the continuing efforts by misguided individuals to hurt the religious feelings of Muslims – as we condemn efforts to offend believers of all religions. Today, the 11th anniversary of the September 11, 2001, terrorist attacks on the United States, Americans are honoring our patriots and those who serve our nation as the fitting response to the enemies of democracy. Respect for religious beliefs is a cornerstone of American democracy. We firmly reject the actions by those who abuse the universal right of free speech to hurt the religious beliefs of others.

It seemed a clear statement of American values (publicly-declared ones, at any rate) and the position of the American government. The Cairo Embassy released it to blunt any public protest over the YouTube clip in Egypt.

It didn't. The Embassy compound in Cairo was breached, and an American flag was pulled down and torn apart to a cheering crowd. But this was nothing compared to what happened to the Embassy compound in Benghazi, Libya: The Ambassador, Christopher Stevens, and three members of his staff were killed by what may have been a planned attack.

Back in the United States, Little Mitzy immediately criticized Obama for the "apology" made to the attackers.

I’m outraged by the attacks on American diplomatic missions in Libya and Egypt and by the death of an American consulate worker in Benghazi. It’s disgraceful that the Obama administration’s first response was not to condemn attacks on our diplomatic missions, but to sympathize with those who waged the attacks.

Not long after, Herr Reince Priebus, chairman of the Rethug National Committee, specifically accused the President of sympathizing with the attackers in a Twitter feed: "Obama sympathizes with attackers in Egypt. Sad and pathetic."

Except for Herr Priebus, no other Republican notable stepped up to support Mitzy's statement, which was both factually inaccurate and so obviously use of a violent, tragic episode for political gain. Normally, the yapping of the right-wing echo chamber as their newest lie is circulated is immediate and loud. Not this time.

For his part, Obama remarked that "Governor Romney tends to shoot first and aim later", adding that Mitzy's statement was a good example of how not to conduct foreign policy.

---

The dark of the moon occurs this coming weekend, on Sunday, September 16. It won't occur again until Monday, October 15th; and in November -- election month in America -- there is no dark of the moon at all; the calendar moves from waning to a waxing crescent with no moonless night over November 13 - 14.

If Netanyahu's government has finally made its decision to strike Iran, they would want the American military to stand behind them. But even though the United States may have shared a large amount of intelligence with Israel about Iran since January, 2009, and may even have collaborated in cyberwarfare attacks on the Iranian nuclear industry's centrifuge infrastructure, Netanyahu is disappointed with Obama and his administration's position on Iran.

As a result, Benny may have courted Mitzy (whom he's known since their days together at the Harvard B-school), and blasted Obama this week, to force the United States to draw a 'red line' for Iran and make a public declaration that includes military support. It may contain some theatre, political maneuvering.

But what if it isn't? What if Netanyahu's remarks on Monday were the public expression of a deep exasperation (Pal; you just don't understand the stakes), a last public signal that time is short? What if Israel decides to attack without more than a courtesy call to the President as the jets are hitting their first targets?

It would be amazingly awkward timing -- committing the U.S. to a larger Middle East war weeks before a national election. Any failure to back Israeli action would have domestic political repercussions (Would you want to be known as the President who left Israel in the lurch?). If this were part of Netanyahu's analysis, it would be cynical -- but, he's a hardball player; and the stakes (over there) are life and death.

No matter my personal opinion, there is no good outcome from an attack on Iran -- for all the obvious reasons: People killing each other is bad, an important safety tip for Life On Earth we don't seem to have learned. Iranian civilians will die; and the Iranian military will target Israel's population; civilians will die there, too. No real surprise.

The people running Iran's government are insane. In the even more insane mix of politics and religion that characterizes that region of the planet, the Iranians would argue that an attack is part of a great American / Zionist conspiracy against Islam. And, we live in a world of gullible True Believers, and that message will resonate with weak-minded 12th Century Types a segment of the population in Muslim countries. We can expect to see what happened in Benghazi and Cairo (and now, Yemen) multiply across the globe, wherever fine Islamist propaganda is sold.

What can't be estimated is the endgame. All simulations of a military attack on Iran that have been publicly reported indicate that a short, limited conflict is unlikely; once war begins, any predictions of what will happen go out the window.

No one knows how regional players like Saudi Arabia, Egypt, or Jordan will be affected, or to what extent larger players -- the United States, Russia, China -- will be drawn in. Will the Iranians close the Straits of Hormuz? What will be the position of the Emirates, of OPEC, the Arab League?

What would the effect to the U.S. Presidential elections be? If Obama took the high and sensible road, refusing to allow America to be drawn into (another) regional war, Mitzy would shank him in public. Even if Obama made only a limited gesture of military support to Israel's unilateral attack, Mitzy and the Rethugs would howl even louder.

However, committing our military to ensure Israel's security could lead to decades of asymmetrical warfare with 'Islamists' (the new media term for 'bad' Muslims, I assume), terrorist acts on American soil, and an increase of the influence of the security state-mentality.

Even if Obama unhesitatingly committed U.S. forces to the region, the Tea Partei and the Rethugs would howl that he was too slow, or didn't do it right, or is a Negro.

So, I'm not necessarily saying that over this weekend, the Israeli Defense Force will hit Iran with everything but the kitchen sink. But I wouldn't be surprised if they did; and I won't be surprised when it happens. Neither, I think, will the Iranians.

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Reprint Heaven: Bad Movies We Like; Versions Of Richard Matheson's Story, I Am Legend

(This, from 2012, when I actually spent more time and energy writing and posting.)

Over the long weekend that everyone took, I went to see 2012. It didn't help that I began coming down with a cold right there in the theater, but it wasn't a bad film, really -- and as a friend warned me over Thanksgiving dinner, "You'll only go to see the special effects": They were spectacular, true; but Woody Harrelson's fuzzy-wacky Pabst-Drinking conspiracy radio host, broadcasting from the edge of the Yellowstone caldera as it erupted, almost eclipsed the digital magic...

Will Smith as The Man, and Abby (Or Kona), as Sam The Pooch

Back at home, lying around with The Cold, I flipped through some of my 200 DVDs and found the 2008 release of I Am Legend with Will Smith -- which was a fairly good film, but only in it's alternate release version. I glanced at the Criterion edition of Fritz Lang's M; I ran a finger across the cover of Beetlejuice; I considered Pixar's The Incredibles (Dudes!! Where's the SEQUEL???). But it was "I Am Legend" that gave me pause.

Ahnold's (Supposedly) 'Final Film', Canceled By Voters

Smith had been offered the starring role as Dr. Robert Neville, because the first Star cast, Arnold Schwarzenegger, had become the Governator. I strongly considered watching Smith (a more than decent actor), but finally passed on it to check out the simple, unexpected wonders of the Teevee, and I was glad I did.

Here in San Francisco, a local cable public access channel occasionally runs films when they need filler for a spare ninety minutes or so (occasionally, they don't even run the full feature). The prints are always bad, and the sound worse, but it's interesting to see what the kids down in the studio will pick. A few weeks ago, they put up Romero's original Night Of The Living Dead; this weekend, it was The Last Man On Earth -- which is, aber natürlich, the earliest version of 'I Am Legend'.

There have been any number of End-Of-The World-As-We-Know-It stories and films based on the elements of I Am Legend: 28 Days Later; The Stand; the late-70's BBC series, Survivors (certainly, "Shaun Of The Dead"); in an odd kind of way, even The Puppet Masters and Invasion Of The Body Snatchers.

These stories involve a nuclear war/alien incursion/mysterious plague (sometimes man-made) which kills and/or radically alters its victims; somehow, they turn into Zombies/Vampires/Unemotional Communists Alien Replicants; and, there is a single person/small band of plucky survivors, trying to find others who survived as well and get on with living in the Brave New World.

(Photo: The Incorruptable We Worship: Canada's dvdbeaver.com)

Last Man was released in the U.S. in 1965. It began as a property owned by Hammer Films in England, with Richard Matheson writing a script after his classic 1954 novella, "I Am Legend".

A Bantam Paperback: Forty Cents.

(Matheson later wrote another novella, "Bid Time Return", which became the 1980 cult film, Somewhere In Time; later, another novel, "What Dreams May Come" was turned into a fairly good movie about life in the Afterlife, with Robin Williams, Cuba Gooding Jr., Annabella Sciorra and Max von Sydow.)

(Photo: You Will Sing 'O Canada': dvdbeaver.com)

Hammer Films passed on turning the acquisition into a film, but sold production rights to the 'concept' (without Matheson's script) to a cut-rate American producer who filmed it quickly in Europe to save costs. It was directed by Ubaldo Ragona, whose only other films were Fiesta In The Caribbean and The Virgin and The Bastard -- fortunately for Ol' Ubaldo, "Last Man' is a cult classic, the only work he'll be remembered for.

"By night they leave their graves, crawling, shambling, through empty streets, whimpering, pleading, begging for his blood!" Said the film posters. How they signed Vincent Price to play the title role and add the voice narration, no way to know -- except, he did get a European vacation!

Nope; It's Not The L.A. Coliseum... Price, Hunting Vampires In The Amphitheater At 'Eur',
The Rome Suburb, Home To Mussolini's 'Architecture Of Fascism'

As a kid, I'd read Matheson's novella, set in a post-apocalypse Los Angeles. As a sort-of Southern Californian, it was easy for me to visualize L.A. after a Zombiesque, vampire plague. However, Last Man wasn't shot in SoCal; it was filmed in and around Rome, the Eternal City: The architecture, the landscape, the foliage was supposed to be American -- but in college, as I sat getting loaded and watching this thing on teevee, it looked... well, Jeez; it was Italy, for cryin' out loud. Even after several bottles of Chateau Du Safeway, the bunch of us watching the film could spot most of its really obvious 'goofs'.

Wandering West Covina In Search Of The Undead? Nope; Still Eur.

(Photo: The Sublime: dvdbeaver.com)

My favorite "production errors" were seeing vehicles driving in the far background in a number of shots of 'deserted America'; or, Vincent Price (who has been out hunting vampires for two or three years), needing to stock up on garlic to keep vampires away -- and stopping to pick up a few garlands in an abandoned grocery store. Garlic won't last in my kitchen for two weeks, let alone three years.

My favorite bits were the cars Price drove -- which, between cuts in the same sequence, would change from Chevrolets to Fords and back again. I hadn't seen goofs that obvious in a film since spotting a dead slave wearing a wristwatch in the slow-pan-over-the-battlefield shot in the last reel of Spartacus.

"Not tonight, Bobby; I have a headache... be a dear and get me

one of our daughter's pet rats, a razor blade, and a straw?"

(Photo: The Inscrutable: Canada's dvdbeaver.com)

Following the line of Matheson's novella, Price played Robert Morgan, an ordinary man, uninfected (apparently due to a natural immunity) by a plague which arrived from Europe. In a series of flashbacks (also from Matheson's novella), Morgan's daughter becomes ill with the plague, but he and his wife try and nurse her to health. The daughter goes blind; his wife becomes ill with the plague; but he believes they can get through this... until first his daughter, then his wife, dies.

Vincent Price As Morgan, One Step Away From Cracking Up

(Photo: Your Best Friend: dvdbeaver.com)

Now he has a problem; he knows they'll become vampires. Morgan can't bear to stake-and-garlic his own wife and child, so he buries them a long distance from their house. As he knew they would, they return to their old home, every night, standing on the overgrown front lawn and calling out to him. In a grisly way which he can't even admit to himself (They'll come back, man -- and you want them to), Morgan can't bear to be completely separated from the ones he loves, his now Zombized Vampire family, calling to him out of the night.

"We Got 'Glow In The Dark' Play-Doh, Baby... It's So Koooool..."

(Photo: The Scrumptious dvdbeaver.com)

Even his best friend (also seen through pre-plague flashbacks) appears with them to taunt Morgan, crooning for him to come out and join them... strangely, his Sta-Press hairdo remains the same after he goes over to join the Legion Of The Undead... and occasionally, he tries the ol' White House State Dinner Gate Crash through the front door...

"We Want To Meet The Obamas And Suck their Blooooooood!!

(Photo: Canada's dvdbeaver.com, who shall not be named.)

But, he does more than fight the vampire-survivors just to stay alive; he actively hunts them, day in and day out. He broadcasts on radio, looking for other survivors, without an answer. Suddenly, he comes across an apparently uninfected girl, after not having seen another 'normal' human for years -- and slowly, Price discovers that she's one of them ... part of a developing new society -- of vampires.

Price Staking His Claim As King Of The Vampire Hunters

They've developed a serum which keeps the weird, bacteria-like contagion that results in vampirism at low levels in the blood, which prevents them from lusting for it to survive, and to venture out in daylight. It allows the girl to pass for 'normal', and to get close to Price so that he can be neutralized. Because they see themselves as victims of Price's relentless vampire hunting.

"Don't Talk Trash To Me About The Dodgers -- Ever!!"

This is the masterstroke role-reversal Matheson slowly introduces into his story: We initially see The Man as lonely hero, lost in a decaying, shabby world and surrounded by infected, homicidal monsters. But from the perspective of the New Vampires, trying to create order and structure in a world changed by a disease without a cure, they've adapted to survive -- and to them, Price is no hero: He's the Outsider, his daytime staking and killing the threat to their existence.

"But -- But I Can't Be The Monster -- You Are !!!"

(It's The End Of The World... And You're Wearing A Tie?)

Their serum liberates them from most of the aspects of Vampyrism -- enough to build a New Order. Price is their monster, the thing New Vampire parents use to frighten their children before going to sleep, a boogeyman who comes in the daylight with garlic and a stake. And, he has to die, so that they can live without fear.

Irony: A Bus In Rome (Where The First Version Of Matheson's Story Was Filmed), Advertising the Latest Version, "I Am Legend" (2008)

The next take on Matheson's story, The Omega Man, was released in 1971 with Charlton Heston -- who made Planet Of The Apes in 1968, and would go on to star in an honest classic, Soylent Green, in 1973. Oddly, in a bit of deja vu, 'Omega' was made after purchasing the rights from Hammer Films -- which still had been considering making a film from Matheson's script.

In Hammer's vision, the property had a new working title -- "Night Creatures" -- but British censors considered the concept of an empty world with decayed corpses and vampires too graphic for 1970, and again sold the production rights to Americans... but the plot wasn't entirely okay with censors here, either (there was plenty of real gore on the nightly news, courtesy of the war in Vietnam), so some changes had to be made.

Omega Man was set in L.A., and Heston's character was named Robert Neville -- both points identical to Matheson's story. But the plague survivors in Neville's Los Angeles were not nocturnal vampires -- just albino, deranged paranoids, wearing black monk's cowls and Ray-Bans, suffering from a terrible sensitivity to sunlight. They were Luddites, to boot, organized around an anti-technological dream in a group called "The Family".

ZERBE: These wigs itch. How long does it take to set up a camera?

KIRKPATRICK: Got that right. It's fucked up, man.

ZERBE: Hey, Lincoln; we wear these shades all the time. Right?

What the hell -- let's get high! Who's gonna know?

KIRKPATRICK: I'm down with that, man. You holding?

ZERBE: I think those two chicks who say, "More! Burn it more!" have

some pretty decent shit. Let's go ask. Not like we don't have time.

Heston's nemesis was the leader of the Family, a former L.A. Teevee news commentator named Matthias ("You -- you creature of the wheel!"), played by Canadian actor Anthony Zerbe (a strong supporter of Werner Erhard's 'est' training, back in the day). Before this, Anthony had a small, supporting role opposite Heston in 1968, as a ranch hand in the western, Will Penny. And, Matthias' right-hand 'Family' member, Zachary ("Just let me put some explosive to him, brother -- just a little nitro!"), was played by Lincoln Kirkpatrick -- who in 1973 would appear opposite Heston in Soylent Green as a Catholic priest tortured by the secret of Soylent after it was revealed to him in confession by Joseph Cotton.

Anthony Zerbe, Character Actor Par Excellance --

A Softer version of Anthony Hopkins, in the 1990's

I wonder if Zerbe, Kirkpatrick and Heston ever talked on set about prior shoots working together, or if that wasn't considered appropriate when you worked with someone whose credits included playing Judah Ben-Hur and Moses and Andrew Jackson and Michelangelo.

When The World Ends, You Get To Use Automatic Weapons.

It wasn't a terrible movie; it was Heston's second science fiction film, after Apes and before Soylent. It had a typical look-and-feel of back-lot production values possessed by many Columbia, 20th Century Fox and Warner Brothers films from the late 60's and early 70's. Watching Heston's acting (he seemed to be playing Robert Neville as if it was his Michelangelo from Agony and the Ecstasy) made me feel his career had to be headed for the toilet. The end of the film has Heston's Robert Neville dying in a posture that is too obviously like that of Christ on the cross, and no one watching could fail to feel the weight of the Ham we were being asked to bear.

Chuck; Ah, It's About The Symbolism, Man. Painful; Ya Know?

I felt excruciatingly embarrassed for him -- Heston, who had played so many great roles in film, was doing burned cheese sci-fi?. But, I took all of that back retroactively when he became the public face of the NRA -- and I've been an NRA member.

( I'm a fan of end-of-the-world films -- and, hey; you really want to be frightened? See the 1984 BBC production, Threads, which was the UK's version of 'The Day After'. I guarantee you won't sleep for a week. No shit: I Guarantee It.)

(In fact, if you look carefully at the film's poster, down at the bottom, below the credits in very small type is the simple statement, "This Film Will Not Just Frighten You; It'll Fuck You Up For Life". )

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Memorial

We Should Not Forget


Courtesy Of The Great Curmudgeon

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